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Stoya has publicly accused James Deen of rape

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Well, James Deen might ONLY be being tried in the court of public opinion, but he definitely will see financial ramifications from this.

I had heard horrible stories about him (from sexworkers I trust and he was my favorite porn star) and these accusations only confirm what I've heard. I had opted to stop supporting him at all on my own terms after choosing to personally believe Stoya.

Kink refuses to work with him any more, among other things.
 
Just wanted to add 2 more girls coming out publicly about his actions. Now there are three girls and I'm sure many more will come forward.

"Ashley Fires told The Daily Beast that Deen sexually assaulted her while she was at Kink.com’s headquarters in San Francisco. “Later on that night, I was getting out of the shower of the communal bathroom at Kink, I reach for my towel to dry off, and he comes up from behind me and pushes himself and his erection into my butt,” she said. “He pushes me against the sink and starts grabbing on me and I was like, ‘No, no, no James, no,’ and he released me from his grasp.”

In a personal essay, performer Tori Lux wrote that Deen physically assaulted her while on a porn set. “He raised his hand high above his head, swinging it down and hitting me in the face and head with an open palm,” she wrote. “He did this five or six times—hard—before finally getting off of me.”
 
Just wanted to add 2 more girls coming out publicly about his actions. Now there are three girls and I'm sure many more will come forward.

"Ashley Fires told The Daily Beast that Deen sexually assaulted her while she was at Kink.com’s headquarters in San Francisco. “Later on that night, I was getting out of the shower of the communal bathroom at Kink, I reach for my towel to dry off, and he comes up from behind me and pushes himself and his erection into my butt,” she said. “He pushes me against the sink and starts grabbing on me and I was like, ‘No, no, no James, no,’ and he released me from his grasp.”

In a personal essay, performer Tori Lux wrote that Deen physically assaulted her while on a porn set. “He raised his hand high above his head, swinging it down and hitting me in the face and head with an open palm,” she wrote. “He did this five or six times—hard—before finally getting off of me.”
I already covered them in posts on this thread
 
This has always bothered me. Especially after finding out that in the book he wasn't like that. I haven't read it but, someone who was at the time, told me he was actually a decent guy who asked for her consent (someone correct me if Im wrong). It sucks that the network decided to go for the creepy and stereotypical route of making the "barbarian" rapey.
Edit to add: Rape culture is indeed everywhere and it goes way back. What kind of culture sees women as business currency for lands, status, gold and shit (aka princesses).
I had to go back to my book and take a look at this again, just for verification. Drogo (in his limited grasp of the Westerosi language) looks to Dany and asks "No?" after being all gentle and touchy... realizing just what he was asking, she says "Yes" and guides his fingers inside of her.

this wasn't the only incident that GoT changed from the book (concerning this topic at least) Cersei and Jaime, when he gets back to Kings Landing, after Joffery's murder. She was all (paraphrasing here) no Jaime, someone might see because we're ina church... and in the show, it looked very much like a rape

back to the discussion at hand..
 
In a personal essay, performer Tori Lux wrote that Deen physically assaulted her while on a porn set. “He raised his hand high above his head, swinging it down and hitting me in the face and head with an open palm,” she wrote. “He did this five or six times—hard—before finally getting off of me.”
I find it troubling that this episode took place in front of others who did not intervene.
 
I find it troubling that this episode took place in front of others who did not intervene.
Agreed. Unless they had already seen this behavior from him before and knew the repercussions for speaking out on it like probably being fired and blacklisted.
 
they thought it was the perfect love story totally forgetting that he fucking RAPED Khalessi! I understand that it's just a show and I don't blame them for wanting to portray something true to life, but the reactions from women were that it was in a sick way some great love story. He was a rapist dude.

I felt the same way when I'd hear soap fans talk about Luke and Laura of the soap General Hospital. I think their wedding ranked as like the #1 event in soap history or something...and I felt like people totally forgot about (or just dismissed) the fact that Luke RAPED Laura (prior to their marriage). Mind-boggling...
 
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With the mention that this is just a publicity stunt I wonder ... how was she supposed to share her story? Not that we are entitled to it, but I would perhaps say that it is good that it is public so those of us in the industry can take care where needed. This could potentially protect other women.

If she had been on the news or some other public media sharing her story where she got paid or some kind of revenue the cry that it was a publicity stunt would be even louder because then money was involved. Would opinions change if perhaps someone announced on twitter for the first time any other negative big news? I have never really seen that to be the case, but every time someone gets paid for a story it's automatically believed to be false.

Further more, I don't understand how forums and social media can't be used as a tool to spread information? We hear about and discuss many serious issues on these mediums, and change can be enacted because these mediums beginning discussion. Personal stories and anecdotes do not take away or cloud discussion when they are related, nor do they mean people can't see without emotion. Many of us have experienced trauma, and it just seems like the sharing of stories here is to give personal perspectives to those talking about this in a less than positive way. I know that hearing a personal anecdote can bring things closer to home for me, and can make me see from a different angle and I think that is one of the reasons why seeing the stories posted here are important.
 
I felt the same way when I'd hear soap fans talk about Luke and Laura of the soap General Hospital. I think their wedding ranked as like the #1 event in soap history or something...and I felt like people totally forgot about (or just dismissed) the fact that Luke RAPED Laura (prior to their marriage). Mind-boggling...

OMG! GH? ....memories of times gone by when I was in my "Freelance Daytime T.V. Critic" days. Haven't watched it in such a long time. :haha:
 
After reading the allegations pile up I have something I'm curious about. I don't want to derail the thread but I guess I'm curious if others would be interested in discussing it. At what point can we no longer respect a victim's choice to stay quiet, at what point should it become a victim'so responsibility to report what has happened?
 
After reading the allegations pile up I have something I'm curious about. I don't want to derail the thread but I guess I'm curious if others would be interested in discussing it. At what point can we no longer respect a victim's choice to stay quiet, at what point should it become a victim'so responsibility to report what has happened?

I don't think anyone has a responsibility to report what happened. Honestly, this is starting to sound like a serial rapist case, which means there's probably a lot more women who have been sexually assaulted by him (which could be everything from non-consensual touching/groping to full on penetration, hitting, etc.) The people who DO come forward are being a voice on the matter because they feel comfortable doing so. If there are more women, some of them might not feel comfortable coming forward or talking about it. Unfortunately there's still a lot of stigma attached, no matter how many people come forward, and people don't speak up for a lot of reasons.

But they have agency and we can't tell them that speaking up or not speaking up is wrong. No one has a responsibility to do or say anything.

ETA: The best thing to do is be supportive of those who have come forward and, if someone feels comfortable they can be vocal about being supportive. Having a lot of support is really important, especially for people who can't/don't want to come forward with their story. Them seeing that all the women who have come forward have a major support network will help them to not feel so alone or unsupported. The best that anyone can do is that, so if more DO decide to speak up about something that happened to them, they will know that there is a community that will be supportive of them.

(I tend to post when I first wake up and I always feel like it's jumbled haha, sorry if you can't read this coherently :p)
 
I'm sorry, but are you fucking serious Deen!? http://www.tmz.com/2015/11/30/james-deen-rape-allegation/
"I'm not a rapist, I'm only aggressive on camera"

That article is hella trashy. It looks like he didn't say that, but rather that's what their source says he is saying to friends? Idk. I'm not sure it's a direct quote. Crummy way to throw porn under the bus.

Anyway @AriaGray I think there's no point at which we should force that on someone. I don't think you should have a responsibility thrust upon you for something that's likely already fucking up your life in massive ways. I think victims should be informed of their rights and a realistic expectation of what will happen if they report, and be allowed to choose. Personally I don't feel I have any responsibility more important than my own health and wellbeing. I don't think laws/the criminal justice system are effective enough (for many reasons - not trying to say it's just the system intentionally trying to devalue victims) for reporting to be worth it to many victims.

And I don't like the idea of forcing someone to involve the law if they don't want to. Seems like a slippery slope, and I'd worry about ramifications for victims like sex workers who may be exposing themselves for arrest just to report.
 
That article is hella trashy. It looks like he didn't say that, but rather that's what their source says he is saying to friends? Idk. I'm not sure it's a direct quote. Crummy way to throw porn under the bus.

Anyway @AriaGray I think there's no point at which we should force that on someone. I don't think you should have a responsibility thrust upon you for something that's likely already fucking up your life in massive ways. I think victims should be informed of their rights and a realistic expectation of what will happen if they report, and be allowed to choose. Personally I don't feel I have any responsibility more important than my own health and wellbeing. I don't think laws/the criminal justice system are effective enough (for many reasons - not trying to say it's just the system intentionally trying to devalue victims) for reporting to be worth it to many victims.

And I don't like the idea of forcing someone to involve the law if they don't want to. Seems like a slippery slope, and I'd worry about ramifications for victims like sex workers who may be exposing themselves for arrest just to report.

I agree. Making anything like that legal would be too slippery a slope. I meant moral responsibility to come out and tell people, not to press charges. I'm not sure why I used the report, sorry about that.

He has been commiting these crimes for how long now? How many people wouldn't have been victims if word of this had spread the first, second, third time it happened?

I'm certainly not denying that the women would have a lot of difficult things to face career wise and in other areas by coming forward. But does our responsibility to fellow women possibly have to outweigh that?

If a man watched these things happen and got no sexual gratification but also didn't stop it, is he guilty? I think most would say yes. If a woman had this happened to her and didn't warn others, is she guilty? I think many would say no. That's interesting to me. It's a very gray area where I imagine most will see both sides.

I also want to clarify that I'm talking about hypothetical women and not blaming anyone who hasn't come forward. I'm using this example because it's the one we are discussing.
 
@AriaGray Someone seeing something happen (and it could be a man OR a woman) and not saying anything or stopping it is wrong, I agree with that. But that's a lot different than having it happen to you. Yes, things could happen to others if people don't come forward with it, but it's not so easy to do, so putting pressure on women to not stay quiet and speak up about it can be especially damaging because they would be, yet again, forced to do something they don't want to/can't do. There's a lot of factors involved, including PTSD. I'm not surprised that more women (and men) don't come forward with their rapes for a long time, or ever. The major problem here is society. We live in a world where you are immediately demonized and chastised when you come forward with these things, and that's horrible.

We've come a long way, but we still have a hell of a way to go. Hopefully one day we will live in a world where coming forward will be easier for survivors of sexual assault because they know they will be supported, believed, and not harassed/trolled, but unfortunately that's not the world we live in right now and it's no surprise that some people just can't cope with all that comes with coming forward as well as coping with the major trauma they experienced.
 
@AriaGray Someone seeing something happen (and it could be a man OR a woman) and not saying anything or stopping it is wrong, I agree with that. But that's a lot different than having it happen to you. Yes, things could happen to others if people don't come forward with it, but it's not so easy to do, so putting pressure on women to not stay quiet and speak up about it can be especially damaging because they would be, yet again, forced to do something they don't want to/can't do. There's a lot of factors involved, including PTSD. I'm not surprised that more women (and men) don't come forward with their rapes for a long time, or ever. The major problem here is society. We live in a world where you are immediately demonized and chastised when you come forward with these things, and that's horrible.

We've come a long way, but we still have a hell of a way to go. Hopefully one day we will live in a world where coming forward will be easier for survivors of sexual assault because they know they will be supported, believed, and not harassed/trolled, but unfortunately that's not the world we live in right now and it's no surprise that some people just can't cope with all that comes with coming forward as well as coping with the major trauma they experienced.

I think we let society control us by keeping quiet sometimes. We keep quiet out of fear of so many things and I personally am curious as to what would happen if all women said fuck you, I'm not going to be afraid of coming out or speaking my truth. If in a generation that could cause the world to change. Again, it's not my choice and it may not be possible for other women to do because of ptsd or other issues and I'm not saying they should be forced to.

We are all sexy workers right? We do that even though it has negative consequences on our day to day life. It's what we believe in.

It's not up to anyone to tell anyone else what they should do after going through something like this. I agree with Gen that the biggest responsibility we have is to ourselves but next comes our responsibility to our fellow woman.

Responsibilities sometimes are failed. Some can't be handled, especially at certain times in our lives. We all have different needs and priorities, there's nothing wrong with that. The fact that I don't see people thinking of warning other women of potential danger as a responsibility is very odd.
 
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@AriaGray I've just been in the situation too many times to know that it's just not easy or even possible sometimes. I am an extrovert by nature and I am super open about everything (ie: everyone I know knows that I'm a sex worker, everyone now knows I was raped and I have called out my rapists publicly. I'm blunt and no bullshit by nature. BUT with that being said, when I was raped at about 19/20 years old, I told NO ONE for 6 months. I couldn't. I don't know why I couldn't, but the only thing I could do was try to keep myself together and survive. When I finally did tell someone I told one of my best friends who knew the couple that raped me, and then I told a few more people. Then word got around about my rape and the girlfriend of the couple attacked my girlfriend at a party. She shoved her against a wall in a closet and threatened her if she told anyone that her and her boyfriend had raped me and then told her it wasn't true. When I was raped at 17 I didn't tell anyone for a very long time because I didn't actually realize that I had been raped.

Society, unfortunately, has been this way for a long time. There are people who are making a difference (Stoya, for example became vocal about her rape, and that makes a difference) and I think the best thing that we can do to help push society in a way that will benefit people is for these things to continue to happen (not saying rape, saying those that feel they CAN come forward, to come forward. For people to be vocal about things like consent and what it means, letting people know that you are there as a support system and will not judge, anything to help remove stigma and provide support). We live in a patriarchy, which is a problem. We also live in a society that blames the victim. There's a lot of issues, obviously, but again, saying that we "let society control us" is kind of counter-productive.

I will continue to advocate for survivors and be vocal about being a sex worker and my sexual assaults. I have the privilege and ability to do this, and I am very grateful for that privilege. Not all sex workers can be public about being a sex worker, even though if everyone was public about it, it would help to remove the stigma. But that's just not plausible, for some people it could be dangerous to come out as a sex worker, and there's SO many other reason that people keep their sex worker status under wraps. The same goes for a survivor of rape, not everyone can be vocal and call out their rapist, but those of us that can and are doing that are helping to make progress in society so that women and men will hopefully feel like they are able to do that in the future. But there's a lot of work that needs to be done to get to the point where anyone who has been violated will feel safe/comfortable enough to come forward with these kinds of things.
 
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@AriaGray This is generally talking about reporting rapes to authorities, but it has some good points that can be used in the context of this discussion also: http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/03/shaming-survivors-reporting/
3. It’s Not a Survivor’s Responsibility to Prevent Their Rapist from Raping in the Future
You might often come across the idea that survivors should report their rape in order to prevent their rapist from assaulting others.

This attitude may seem really well-intentioned – after all, we’re trying to prevent people from going through traumatic experience. But if we think critically about it, we’ll see that this attitude is pretty harmful.

When we use this phrase, we’re implying that it’s a survivor’s responsibility to prevent rape. In that sense, this is a form of victim-blaming.

As a rape victim, one of the most traumatic things I’ve had to deal with was the idea that I enabled my rapist to rape others. It was bad enough feeling like I was to blame for my own rape – feeling like I caused others trauma was psychological torture.

But at the end of the day, it wasn’t my responsibility to prevent my own rape or the rape of others. It was the responsibility of my rapist not to rape.

Aside from that, it’s simply impractical to think that reporting rape stops rapists from assaulting in the future.

We know that very few reports of rape result in the rapist being convicted – sometimes as little as 3%. Insinuating that rape survivors should report in order to have their rapists convicted ignores the harsh reality – that the so-called “justice system” is inadequate at protecting society from rapists.

If we want to increase conviction rates, we should start by tackling police brutality. We should tackle the rape myths perpetuated by the police and other government entities. We should tackle college and university administrators that ignore and silence victims of sexual assault.

We should not put the onus on survivors to increase conviction rates when there are so many other things preventing rapists from being held accountable for their actions.

Unfortunately, even if everyone who has been raped publicly outed their rapist, statistics err on the side of that not preventing anyone from being raped in the future. Most rapists will most likely not go to prison (it's about 2 out of 100 for rapes reported to authorities that spend even a day in prison, once those 2 are out then they are free to rape again).
 
I think the people who witnessed those acts inside studios should be legally expected to report him if they work for the studio. Anything that happens on the set of a professional porn shoot would involve OSHA, right? Or some other legal responsibility for a safe working environment? I mean, of course a victim should not be penalized for staying silent, but if it involves a workplace that includes sex and the safety of employees/contractors other issues come into play. I wonder if people in porn are given avenues to report things like this within the industry like an HR department or something?
 
@AriaGray This is generally talking about reporting rapes to authorities, but it has some good points that can be used in the context of this discussion also: http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/03/shaming-survivors-reporting/


Unfortunately, even if everyone who has been raped publicly outed their rapist, statistics err on the side of that not preventing anyone from being raped in the future. Most rapists will most likely not go to prison (it's about 2 out of 100 for rapes reported to authorities that spend even a day in prison, once those 2 are out then they are free to rape again).

I appreciate you bringing sources and your input.

My thoughts here are not victim blaming. I also don't think that saying women who are able to come out about the rapes should is saying that it's their responsibility to prevent rape.That is just black and white thinking in my opinion.

One thought is though, why is it victim blaming in the case of rape but not other crimes? If you knew someone who stole something from you, had hit you, had killed someone, was involved in a kind of illegal activity that you could get dragged into, would you warn another person? If someone expected you to would that person be blaming you for the criminal's behavior? I know, I know the justice system and society isn't on our side with rape but it is with other issues. The justice system and society have zero to do with whether I'm going to warn people about someone.

I'll warn everyone about my two exes that raped me, I'll warn everyone in our family that my uncle raped me repeatedly and I will include how old I was at the time so others can watch out for their own children, I'll warn everyone about the old friend who assaulted me. It won't matter what I'm going through, it won't matter what negative effects it has on me such as being labeled the slut, the liar or being cut out from family members that didn't want to believe me. I'll warn because in my heart that is the right thing to do. It's not my responsibility to prevent rape, to keep people from committing crimes, it's my responsibility to do what I believe is right.

There's a lot I want to say about modern feminism and rape culture but I think my opinions would very much lead us into a discussion that is completely off topic. I honestly don't like these discussions or debates either. For once I just actually had something I wanted to hear opinions on :)
 
I appreciate you bringing sources and your input.

My thoughts here are not victim blaming. I also don't think that saying women who are able to come out about the rapes should is saying that it's their responsibility to prevent rape.That is just black and white thinking in my opinion.

One thought is though, why is it victim blaming in the case of rape but not other crimes? If you knew someone who stole something from you, had hit you, had killed someone, was involved in a kind of illegal activity that you could get dragged into, would you warn another person? If someone expected you to would that person be blaming you for the criminal's behavior? I know, I know the justice system and society isn't on our side with rape but it is with other issues. The justice system and society have zero to do with whether I'm going to warn people about someone.

I'll warn everyone about my two exes that raped me, I'll warn everyone in our family that my uncle raped me repeatedly and I will include how old I was at the time so others can watch out for their own children, I'll warn everyone about the old friend who assaulted me. It won't matter what I'm going through, it won't matter what negative effects it has on me such as being labeled the slut, the liar or being cut out from family members that didn't want to believe me. I'll warn because in my heart that is the right thing to do. It's not my responsibility to prevent rape, to keep people from committing crimes, it's my responsibility to do what I believe is right.

There's a lot I want to say about modern feminism and rape culture but I think my opinions would very much lead us into a discussion that is completely off topic. I honestly don't like these discussions or debates either. For once I just actually had something I wanted to hear opinions on :)

Having someone steal something from me doesn't give me PTSD, but being raped does. And just as if I saw a rape occur and would tell someone/make it stop, of course I would tell someone if I had witnessed a murder, etc. I even tried to tell the cops one time when my ex-husband hit me and they tried to arrest me (so that one worked really well). Telling someone when you are involved by proxy is not the same as being a person who has been sexually assaulted.

It's good that you can tell/warn people about the person(s) who violated you. Not everyone can do that though, and we can't expect everyone to be like those of us who can do that. Every situation and every person is different, everyone has different coping mechanisms, and everyone goes through these things differently.
 
I agree with Aria. Moral responsibility is not the same as victim blaming or making someone speak up whenthey dont want to/cant/wont or making someone file charges or any other legal proceedings though. Those are different and can be talked about separately cause they are 2 different things IMHO.

Morally do we have a responsibility to report crime, any crime, when we see it? Of course. Imagine if no one ever admitted to witnessing or being the victim of a crime and what that would lead to. So we should report what we see to help others at the least and I do see that as a responsibility in our society we all have. Just last week in my area a woman was kidnapped by her ex bf and raped and set on fire by him. She is alive though. Why? Cause the neighbor next door seen her being dragged to the car and called the police right then. Had he not she would be dead and they would be lucky to find a dead body. But because of his moral responsibility he immediately called police and reported what he saw which lead them to investigate what happened immediately after it happened and to find her. Albeit she will still have this trauma for life but she is alive because someone else spoke up. This man will go to jail thus preventing other possible victims at least for a very long while if not for the rest of his life.

We had and do have PSAs on TV of "If you see something, Say something" and this mostly came about because of terrorism but it goes for any and all crimes. If you see a woman dragged to a car against her will you should call the police. If you see a woman at a party who is inebriated being dragged into a room by a group of guys you should do something about it. If you see someone being murdered you should do something. That is moral responsibility. It matters and makes a difference. What type of crime it is does not matter when it comes to morals and doing something about it.

That said of course there are valid reasons as to why both victims and witnesses will not report crimes. We all know there are billions of reasons and I dont need to get into that. So while it is everyones moral responsibility to report it should not ever be forced upon anyone. Their reasons should be respected.
 
After reading the allegations pile up I have something I'm curious about. I don't want to derail the thread but I guess I'm curious if others would be interested in discussing it. At what point can we no longer respect a victim's choice to stay quiet, at what point should it become a victim'so responsibility to report what has happened?

I think, in general, part of the obligation we have as citizens in a civilized society is to report crimes. It serves two purpose to deter crime and to catch criminals and put them prison to save future victims. It's looking increasingly like in the Cosby case, if more people had come forward about Deen earlier about him, he might be in prison instead of a famous porn actor. I think reporting crime and certainly testifying requires placing society well-been above your own. Society will break down if we all act in a purely selfish matter, and I have no desire to live in an anarchistic society like Somalia. All that high-minded rhetoric aside, rape is clearly a special case.

So I can't argue with Gen's point
Anyway @AriaGray I think there's no point at which we should force that on someone. I don't think you should have a responsibility thrust upon you for something that's likely already fucking up your life in massive ways. I think victims should be informed of their rights and a realistic expectation of what will happen if they report, and be allowed to choose. Personally I don't feel I have any responsibility more important than my own health and wellbeing.

So maybe when considering your own well-being it is worth thinking about your future long-term mental health. Personally, the guilt of knowing that if I had reported something I could have prevented a future victim would eat me up. But every victim has their own priorities and needs.
 
OMG! GH? ....memories of times gone by when I was in my "Freelance Daytime T.V. Critic" days. Haven't watched it in such a long time. :haha:

My uncle once told me that when he was locked up, the soaps were always on the T.V...that he couldn't help but get into it. Lol. Maurice Benard is still on there as Sonny Corinthos. He got shot...again...and is in a wheelchair now. That guy's got more lives than Super Mario...
 
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