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Even if you think it, don't mention self harm. You can be banned.

Also, as per post from @cbhours , Pineapple Support offer assistance for mental health, with some of it free (not sure what).

All the very best on your journey and find some friends to talk to about life. Fine to talk to members, but hard to know who they really are (I am a member, not a model).

https://pineapplesupport.org/ - Pineapple Support provides 24/7 online, emotional support as well as free and subsidized professional therapy and advice to all performers and producers who have been active in the adult online industry within the past 6 months.
 
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I know it's not against TOS, but speaking my [unasked-for] member-view viewing others' behavior on CB, I'd personally be a little hesitant about doing it on cam. I think most people are decent, but there are a few bad apples that will try to take advantage of that for their own gain (e.g. emotional manipulation like negging and/or directing their insults into places they know are sensitive for you). Like mentioned before, I think pineapplesupport.org is a better place to find emotional support & vent than on cam.
 
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If camming makes you feel like crying all the time then you shouldn't be doing it. It's a sign that this gig isn't right for you or something needs to be attended to on a deep level. Check out the pineapple support.

As far as being allowed, it's not necessarily against TOS but viewers will either leave because it's awkward or the sadistic ones will take advantage. There's no way that's good for your room. Viewers come for a fantasy, good times, and an escape. Sometimes getting to real will make everyone including yourself way too depressed and you will lose money.
 
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Ideally, I only cam when I am feeling my best. That is when it's the most profitable for me. Viewers watch us because they like the "personal" side of it, but I don't think that means sharing every moment and every side of ME, actually. That's just how I see it though. I want to figure out how to run my business in the most profitable way and I don't think that's it. I also have a personal boundary of not looking to my audience for emotional support. Something else I like to keep separate. I find that otherwise, I open myself up to people blurring the lines more easily in ways that aren't conducive to good longterm provider/client relationships. It seems like I'm inviting unhealthy interactions. But that's just what works best for me, on my cam site, with my persona and target market.

But to answer your question, which wasn't should you, but can you? Yes I imagine you can. And I'm sorry you are dealing with stuff that is making you want to cry! I hope it will get better soon.
 
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