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Asking a model to dinner?

Discussion in 'Ask-a-Model!' started by Djdulo1017, May 17, 2018 at 5:12 PM.

  1. Djdulo1017

    Joined:
    May 10, 2018
    Messages:
    12
    I've been Skyping with a model for about 3+ years, meet her on MFC and we've done hour long Skypes once or twice a month for the last 3+ years.

    I've started getting more confident and have now done cam to cam with her and with my current job I travel 13 weeks at a time. We're good friends, we talk maybe once a week or so and etc on social media and DM. I may be taking a contract out by where she lives (maybe few hours away) and I live close to her home town. I once brought it up jokingly and she jokingly replied with a maybe type answer.

    I was interested in asking her to dinner or coffee just to formally meet as friends. I wouldn't mind paying for her time. But I'm not sure how to bring it up and be serious with her and actually set something up. I think she's meet other people before at expos or maybe outside of expos and etc.

    Not sure if I should bring it up? Or how? Would it be weird to do so? We're good friends in the virtual world so why not meet for coffee?
     
  2. Djdulo1017

    Joined:
    May 10, 2018
    Messages:
    12
    She's given me her social media for free, tons of free content, and etc for free. She charges for this stuff but always has no issue giving for free without asking or if I ask shell give it to me for free? Not sure if this means much?
     
  3. AwesomeKate

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2012
    Messages:
    745
    There's no way to know but to ask. She might be interested in more with you or might not. "Hey, I know we've joked about it in the past, but I am seriously wondering if you'd like to get some dinner with me sometime. Let me know." Just know that once you flat out ask to meet, if she turns you down, the relationship you have will never be the same. She may pull away due to not wanting to lead you on in that way, or you may feel rejection whenever you see her. Just be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. No one here can tell you what's in her heart.
     
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  4. Ann_Sulu

    Cam Model V.I.P. Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2012
    Messages:
    9,046
    You write that you don't mind paying for her time (rather than saying her coffee), that she "maybe" (not definitely or has told you she meets members outside of expos. I'm curious what she said word for word in her maybe answer. I don't know her response but I agree with AwesomeKate that it seems like things will be extremely awkward between you two if she declines the invitation to meet even as friends.
     
  5. heybarkeep

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2016
    Messages:
    732
    The advice given by @AwesomeKate is all you really need but realistically I'd say this doesn't mean much. Not trying to be a buzzkill but it could just be a smart business tactic. I wouldn't ask personally. If she had any real interest in you she would probably let you know.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  6. Miss Silver

    Joined:
    Friday
    Messages:
    4
    being a cam model my self I know how to market myself in a way where it could seem as if *maybe* I would meet my viewers in person, but this is just a selling tactic to seem more approachable and down to earth. I agree with the above posters that you should hold off on asking in order to preserve your relationship
     
  7. IsabellaSnow

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2012
    Messages:
    4,605
    This is a hard one to gauge. It really depends on what you want out of the meet up. I can only really go on my own experiences with this. I've met a couple of regulars since I first started camming, all of which were meet ups I suggested because the opportunity came along. I'm actually not opposed to meeting others depending on the circumstances and my closeness with them. The two regulars I met though I have not had a majorly sexual relationship with, or at least, neither of them have made the sexual side a big factor. Both were types who would tip generously but generally wouldn't stick around for the cumshows, so while we flirted the relationships were both a lot deeper than "let's go on a date", and I never felt that there was much motive besides friendship which could lead to hurt on their parts. I was also not actively camming during the times of either meet ups and had remained friends with them for years after I hadn't been camming (and am still good friends with them both). So I guess the situations were pretty no pressure, I didn't feel nervous or uncomfortable before, during or after the meet ups and I'd meet up with them both again if given the opportunity.

    If on the other hand, someone who I was actively going into private shows with or who was clearly into cumshows asked me to meet up that might be a different matter. Also as if I had a suspicion that one of my regulars might actually fall in love with me or start wanting more then I wouldn't want to create those issues for either of us. I have been asked by members I'm not that close to and have not accepted despite them being nice people, mainly because it's not worth the time or effort when it's not someone I'm very close to.

    I guess what is it you're wanting to gain out of this? Are you hopeful there might be more there? Is it because you're attracted to her? If the answer is yes to either of these I'd tread carefully. If it's just a friendship thing where you get along and think it'd be cool to meet up then you might as well ask. Just be prepared that she may well not be comfortable with the request.
     
  8. Dan Epstein

    Dan Epstein firstchoicepay.com (previously Payoneer)
    Industry Representative It's my birthday!

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2016
    Messages:
    1,369
    I have a golden rule. If you don't have a talking candle holder named Lumière as a host, you don't take a model you engaged with on a chat to dinner.
     
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  9. EmptyKins

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2017
    Messages:
    325
    I agree with Isabella. The one member I've met in person was one who would actively tip in my room but never watch my shows or take me private or express any type of sexual interest.

    We met the first time when he was passing through my state and he took me to dinner then took me grocery shopping after learning I was short on food.

    The second time we met it was the same situation, he was travelling through my city and took me and my then boyfriend to dinner and ice cream.

    He was always courteous and respectful, he had no intention of attempting anything sexual, and he felt like a kindly uncle (an inside joke we adopted after a night of fun drinks!)

    I miss him very much. He passed away in 2017 and I will always cherish the time we spent together. I couldn't give him money or sex but I gave him my friendship and handmade cards/gifts that he absolutely loved and cherished in return.

    I don't think our relationship was rare in the cam community, as I have at least two other members who I would meet without hesitation if we crossed paths. The reason though is that I feel safe knowing they aren't meeting me only in the hope of getting to fuck. I would not meet a member outside of an event like say AVN if they had expressed any time before that they desire a sexual interaction.

    If you two are friends and you feel she sees you as someone without hidden intentions, I think asking her to coffee would be fine and perhaps be met with a willing response! If it's a sexual connection you feel is there but haven't asked if she feels the same, I agree with the others in seeing it as a potential "risk" to your friendship moving forward.

    Communication is key though.
     
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  10. Djdulo1017

    Joined:
    May 10, 2018
    Messages:
    12
    It's a mix of both friendly and sexual. I started seeing her after my last long term relationship ended and we've talked on a personal level about our personal lives. Were the same age (mid 20s) and have a lot in common we talk about. She kinda helped me through the breakup and etc.

    But I'm just confused about the level we have with each other. I once during a show accidentally said "i love you" and she said it back to me and we continue to tell each other to this day "I love you" but I think it's just part of her job. Which is were I get confused about her feeling if any at all.

    I'd be fine with just meeting in a friendly way and I wouldn't mind generously paying her time for dinner. With no expectations really, if something happens it happens. I do tip her well and have given her $1000 for her birthday last year. Just out of my own generosity.

    We've talked once about meeting when she came back to her home town where I live near but it never happened. I never brought it up again.
     
  11. AudriTwo

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2014
    Messages:
    3,625
    I'd ask her. Worse case scenario she says no. Make sure to ask her off-site, since FOSTA/SESTA makes it illegal to do so on camsites.

    If she says no for free, offer politly if she would like to join you for just dinner and you'd pay her for her time. If she says no, oh well. I don't see how your online relationship would be affected unless both or one of you make it awkward.
     
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  12. Djdulo1017

    Joined:
    May 10, 2018
    Messages:
    12

    I'm not on mfc much at all, we speak through Skype/IG 99% of the time.

    I'll bring it up if I'm ever near by her or plan to travel or pass through with work. I dont think it would be awkward *shrugs?*
     
  13. AudriTwo

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2014
    Messages:
    3,625
    It's only awkward if you make it as such. I would ask now. Be like "hey if I'm ever in your area, would you like to join me for dinner?" That way you already know the answer and give you a piece of mind.
     
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  14. ElaySmith

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2010
    Messages:
    2,096
    I second Audri, go ahead, bite the bullet and get it over with. Personally Id say yes to coffee or drinks before id say yes to dinner... but im socially awkward and a bit of an introvert so what I think is probably irrelevant.
     
  15. Djdulo1017

    Joined:
    May 10, 2018
    Messages:
    12

    Any are fine hahaha I just felt dinner might be a nice gesture but I'm sure coffee or etc is fine.

    Next time we Skype I may bite the bullet and ask, or if work leads me out to the west coast ill ask.
     
  16. ElaySmith

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2010
    Messages:
    2,096
    Don't do it on skype, at least not through video chat. Worst thing you can do is put her unexpectedly on the spot while live! Its like proposing in front of a group of people... its a lot harder to say No.
     
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  17. Djdulo1017

    Joined:
    May 10, 2018
    Messages:
    12

    True .I'll save it for a message .I'll prob hold off until I have a better idea in regards to work
     
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  18. AudriTwo

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2014
    Messages:
    3,625
    Do it now! Why put it off? Gives her a bigger window to prepare or call it off.
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
  19. Alexis Curley

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2018
    Messages:
    16
    As a cam gir, I also try to be friendly and have a personal approach with ll my members. it's hard to tell what her intentions are if you don't meet face to face.
     

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