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Bullying in the cam world

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May 30, 2020
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@carmen_monroe94
Hi, I don't really know if it is appropriate to write this topic, but I just feel helpless. I've been a camgirl for over 1 year now and was pretty happy with it until a while ago, but lately it just makes me sad and I feel like an „outsider“ in this world.

I'll just start by writing everything off my mind. It actually started with the fact that all of my regular customers suddenly stayed away and I only have greys in my room who insult and abuse me. Then when some guys with tokens write me, it's messages like this:

„Hello, your pussy looks like it belongs to a child or a little girl“

„wow you are really fat“

„Hi what drugs do you use?“

„Fake bitch“

„piss off“

these are just a few examples. I noticed that people make nasty remarks about me in other rooms and that they would then call me “the teacher” because I wear glasses. So they write in other chatrooms „oh „the teacher“ is so fake I'd rather stay here at least you don't pretend“.

I've just been fucking hurt lately that some people think they have to bully me. I've always been nice to everyone (maybe too nice) and I'm the last one to fake anything. I think there are former moderators that I have removed from my room, who try to badmouth me everywhere. I also don't know what to do anymore, not only that I don't earn anything and that nobody is in my room chatting with me, I also have to feel bad that I am who I am.

I feel like at school again, where I was bullied and nobody wanted to have anything to do with me.

I've been having nightmares again lately and somehow not having as much appetite, I'm irritable and I hardly dare to step in front of the cam. I don't know if I should give up and get unemployed again. I don't even know what to do or why everyone thinks I'm fake:(i just need help.
 
Hi, I don't really know if it is appropriate to write this topic, but I just feel helpless. I've been a camgirl for over 1 year now and was pretty happy with it until a while ago, but lately it just makes me sad and I feel like an „outsider“ in this world.

I'll just start by writing everything off my mind. It actually started with the fact that all of my regular customers suddenly stayed away and I only have greys in my room who insult and abuse me. Then when some guys with tokens write me, it's messages like this:

„Hello, your pussy looks like it belongs to a child or a little girl“

„wow you are really fat“

„Hi what drugs do you use?“

„Fake bitch“

„piss off“

these are just a few examples. I noticed that people make nasty remarks about me in other rooms and that they would then call me “the teacher” because I wear glasses. So they write in other chatrooms „oh „the teacher“ is so fake I'd rather stay here at least you don't pretend“.

I've just been fucking hurt lately that some people think they have to bully me. I've always been nice to everyone (maybe too nice) and I'm the last one to fake anything. I think there are former moderators that I have removed from my room, who try to badmouth me everywhere. I also don't know what to do anymore, not only that I don't earn anything and that nobody is in my room chatting with me, I also have to feel bad that I am who I am.

I feel like at school again, where I was bullied and nobody wanted to have anything to do with me.

I've been having nightmares again lately and somehow not having as much appetite, I'm irritable and I hardly dare to step in front of the cam. I don't know if I should give up and get unemployed again. I don't even know what to do or why everyone thinks I'm fake:(i just need help.
delete all your accounts , all social medias , all things related to you and start over with a new attitude , and very mean and very ban happy , without moderatos ever ,and with all greys blocked everywere . Change hair colour , make yourself pretty daily and make you ultimate goal to ban ban ban and do not react in any way at any troll from today beggining , only ban and go further like never happend . Also speak only with those who tip , and give short answers to the others if you want , make some list of boundaries and never ever cross them , who insists no matter how much pays then apply the HOLLY SACRED BAN !
 
sorry to hear that this rude comments affecting you /. I am very nice too, but only with who is nice, if a rude fucker say something ugly, i tell him lots things about his mom and wife that another one dont dare to start with me :)) i can be whorse then him .. good part the rest of the room laughing about this.. So if this site is making you unhappy, start fresh on another site . There are sites with nice guys and sites with lots rude people (livejasmin is top of rudeness and bullying and chaturbate got nicest people at least in my case ..Put mods but only nice guys that u can trust , to me is helping a lot, they kick rude comment in a second, manny times i got no time to see the comment i just see the kick wich is saving me to get angry .. I dont agree with bloking greys, as i always said every tipper was grey and if you nice with them they gonna buy tks for you .. Also be confident, you are young, beautiful, mostly of this guys wifes .. gfs sitting there are not even 10% gorgeous as cam models , i think they do this bulling beeing frustrated about the bad decisions they took in life . 😅 about everyone saying you are fake ignore it, they say this in every room, most common rude comments ..fake bitch . boring. scam ..
 
1) block the grays from chatting. They're idiot trolls who are just looking for a reaction from anyone and not usually trolling one model.
2) don't allow mods, knights, room helpers. Rarely do people have good ones and they tend to be on a high of power (lol) and get super vengeful when taken out of that position. I still have one from my baby cam days who stalks me.
3) don't go to other places or watch rooms that badmouth you or other models. They're toxic people who have nothing going for them. Happy people don't put down others.

4) ban button is your friend. Anything or anyone that brings your mood down should be out of your room. If your first instinct is to ban, go with it. Don't double guess yourself.


Camming requires thick skin and it can definitely be lonely. I've had my share of trolls and models badmouthing me. Cool. Feeding into their negativity completely destroys any type of productivity and your own happiness. I don't think you need to change anything about your personal appearance just because of trolls. If you change anything, it should be because it's something YOU want to do. Trolls will mock anything. I think it would be even worse if they know they got to you and caused you to change your cam name and look. That's a win for them. Fuck them.
 
I’m sorry this happened to you.

One thing that can help you feel less concerned about the opinions of bullies and trolls ... in your imagination, remove their anonymity. Picture the type of people in the real world whose opinions you would never give a second thought to. Losers, creeps, degenerates, bitter and petty, immature never-grew-up types that never succeed at anything but being awful.

That might be the type of person making these comments. For sanity’s sake, assume that it is. And then remember that if they don’t care about themselves enough to stop being terrible humans, you shouldn’t care what they think, either.

Chin up, good luck, and best wishes.
 
Hi, I don't really know if it is appropriate to write this topic, but I just feel helpless. I've been a camgirl for over 1 year now and was pretty happy with it until a while ago, but lately it just makes me sad and I feel like an „outsider“ in this world.

I'll just start by writing everything off my mind. It actually started with the fact that all of my regular customers suddenly stayed away and I only have greys in my room who insult and abuse me. Then when some guys with tokens write me, it's messages like this:

„Hello, your pussy looks like it belongs to a child or a little girl“

„wow you are really fat“

„Hi what drugs do you use?“

„Fake bitch“

„piss off“

these are just a few examples. I noticed that people make nasty remarks about me in other rooms and that they would then call me “the teacher” because I wear glasses. So they write in other chatrooms „oh „the teacher“ is so fake I'd rather stay here at least you don't pretend“.

I've just been fucking hurt lately that some people think they have to bully me. I've always been nice to everyone (maybe too nice) and I'm the last one to fake anything. I think there are former moderators that I have removed from my room, who try to badmouth me everywhere. I also don't know what to do anymore, not only that I don't earn anything and that nobody is in my room chatting with me, I also have to feel bad that I am who I am.

I feel like at school again, where I was bullied and nobody wanted to have anything to do with me.

I've been having nightmares again lately and somehow not having as much appetite, I'm irritable and I hardly dare to step in front of the cam. I don't know if I should give up and get unemployed again. I don't even know what to do or why everyone thinks I'm fake:(i just need help.
you can also ban certain hurtful words! my ban word list is HUGE, if they ever type that word, it doesnt get sent and i never see it.
 
I’m sorry this happened to you.

One thing that can help you feel less concerned about the opinions of bullies and trolls ... in your imagination, remove their anonymity. Picture the type of people in the real world whose opinions you would never give a second thought to. Losers, creeps, degenerates, bitter and petty, immature never-grew-up types that never succeed at anything but being awful.

That might be the type of person making these comments. For sanity’s sake, assume that it is. And then remember that if they don’t care about themselves enough to stop being terrible humans, you shouldn’t care what they think, either.
Change might to is in above post :) .

Sorry that you are going through this.

I think we all go through it, and the more popular you become the worse it gets. I would not give them any attention, like others have said, any reasonable person can see through people like that, and realizes how pathetic and immature they are. Like Smoothie said they have absolutely nothing going for them in their lives. It would be fun to laugh at them if they were not so pitiful and sad, and if it were not for the fact there is really no time for paying them any attention when you have your brand to build.

I agree with what Danigirl said, fuck 'em.

They are looking for a reaction. Any reaction, positive or negative. Raising prices and ignoring them and blocking makes them fizzle away into nothing but a piece of shit on the bottom of your shoe. Although sometimes it's nice to lash back and humiliate them, it's just a fine line to walk too. Too much of that can make some new members scared (because they don't understand the context and history), and it can attract members who want humiliation fetish for free, to come to your room and do more of the same. But if you already have a strong following, people get it too, in moderation (the old lash back/ humiliation/ verbal slap down).

It's a shame the cam world is so rife with jealousy and pettiness, but its also to be expected. Just remember it happens to all of us. And I swear the more successful the model the more it happens (from what I see on Twitter etc, and from my own experience of when I was #1 on SM during my timeslot for a little while there, I started getting all kinds of DMs telling me to kill myself blah, blah fucking blah). Fuck em. They are threatened by you, and jealous. So in a way, that's kind of a win :party: :party:
 
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1) block the grays from chatting. They're idiot trolls who are just looking for a reaction from anyone and not usually trolling one model.
2) don't allow mods, knights, room helpers. Rarely do people have good ones and they tend to be on a high of power (lol) and get super vengeful when taken out of that position. I still have one from my baby cam days who stalks me.
3) don't go to other places or watch rooms that badmouth you or other models. They're toxic people who have nothing going for them. Happy people don't put down others.

4) ban button is your friend. Anything or anyone that brings your mood down should be out of your room. If your first instinct is to ban, go with it. Don't double guess yourself.


Camming requires thick skin and it can definitely be lonely. I've had my share of trolls and models badmouthing me. Cool. Feeding into their negativity completely destroys any type of productivity and your own happiness. I don't think you need to change anything about your personal appearance just because of trolls. If you change anything, it should be because it's something YOU want to do. Trolls will mock anything. I think it would be even worse if they know they got to you and caused you to change your cam name and look. That's a win for them. Fuck them.

This! I wish more broadcasters would do this. Especially people who are just starting out.
 
Block, ignore, don’t respond. Their bullying has nothing to do with you so there’s nothing you can do about it. There will be bullies anywhere you go so you can’t let them affect you. This is my going to be my 5th year camming and the more successful I’m becoming the more hate I’m getting. Last week I got a death threat saying they will stab me to death. I have a great security system, guns, 4 dogs, and never leave my house alone; things like this help me sleep at night.
Try some confidence building to help you deal with people who try to bring you down.

 
Block, ignore, don’t respond. Their bullying has nothing to do with you so there’s nothing you can do about it. There will be bullies anywhere you go so you can’t let them affect you. This is my going to be my 5th year camming and the more successful I’m becoming the more hate I’m getting. Last week I got a death threat saying they will stab me to death. I have a great security system, guns, 4 dogs, and never leave my house alone; things like this help me sleep at night.
Try some confidence building to help you deal with people who try to bring you down.

death treath this is insane how far some people can go... gosh! Guess popular cam models need to hire bodyguards when they go out of the house .
 
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death treath this is insane how far some people can go... gosh! Guess popular cam models need to hire bodyguards when they go out of the house .
Yeah he said he will stab me in all my holes first 🤮 I hate people but whatever there’s sick people out there I can’t let them bother me. Seriously! It’s so hard for cam models because we put ourself out there to the world and we barely make enough to hire security. It would be nice if out job was more “accepted” in society so we can get brand and advertising deals like other influencers and celebrities.
 
@OP : I'm so sorry! Nobody should have to deal with that. Absolutely no one has the right to judge you! They want you to be miserable because they are. They see that you are beautiful and that you are becoming better than they ever will be. That makes them angry. If you despair they win and move along to look for another victim. So you see, it's actually not about you, its about them hating the fact that you are above them.

Today someone sent me this for a similar reason, I think it fits very well.

 
Hi, I don't really know if it is appropriate to write this topic, but I just feel helpless. I've been a camgirl for over 1 year now and was pretty happy with it until a while ago, but lately it just makes me sad and I feel like an „outsider“ in this world.

I'll just start by writing everything off my mind. It actually started with the fact that all of my regular customers suddenly stayed away and I only have greys in my room who insult and abuse me. Then when some guys with tokens write me, it's messages like this:

„Hello, your pussy looks like it belongs to a child or a little girl“

„wow you are really fat“

„Hi what drugs do you use?“

„Fake bitch“

„piss off“

these are just a few examples. I noticed that people make nasty remarks about me in other rooms and that they would then call me “the teacher” because I wear glasses. So they write in other chatrooms „oh „the teacher“ is so fake I'd rather stay here at least you don't pretend“.

I've just been fucking hurt lately that some people think they have to bully me. I've always been nice to everyone (maybe too nice) and I'm the last one to fake anything. I think there are former moderators that I have removed from my room, who try to badmouth me everywhere. I also don't know what to do anymore, not only that I don't earn anything and that nobody is in my room chatting with me, I also have to feel bad that I am who I am.

I feel like at school again, where I was bullied and nobody wanted to have anything to do with me.

I've been having nightmares again lately and somehow not having as much appetite, I'm irritable and I hardly dare to step in front of the cam. I don't know if I should give up and get unemployed again. I don't even know what to do or why everyone thinks I'm fake:(i just need help.
hey, im not a camgirl but i do OF, i saw this and it made me so sad, id say take a mental health break and than try and come back, you are stunning and your body is PERFECT. you do not deserve any of that. keep yourself happy and healthy, screw all those people. remember to put your mental and physical health before anything always. much love:h:
 
Hi, I don't really know if it is appropriate to write this topic, but I just feel helpless. I've been a camgirl for over 1 year now and was pretty happy with it until a while ago, but lately it just makes me sad and I feel like an „outsider“ in this world.

I'll just start by writing everything off my mind. It actually started with the fact that all of my regular customers suddenly stayed away and I only have greys in my room who insult and abuse me. Then when some guys with tokens write me, it's messages like this:

„Hello, your pussy looks like it belongs to a child or a little girl“

„wow you are really fat“

„Hi what drugs do you use?“

„Fake bitch“

„piss off“

these are just a few examples. I noticed that people make nasty remarks about me in other rooms and that they would then call me “the teacher” because I wear glasses. So they write in other chatrooms „oh „the teacher“ is so fake I'd rather stay here at least you don't pretend“.

I've just been fucking hurt lately that some people think they have to bully me. I've always been nice to everyone (maybe too nice) and I'm the last one to fake anything. I think there are former moderators that I have removed from my room, who try to badmouth me everywhere. I also don't know what to do anymore, not only that I don't earn anything and that nobody is in my room chatting with me, I also have to feel bad that I am who I am.

I feel like at school again, where I was bullied and nobody wanted to have anything to do with me.

I've been having nightmares again lately and somehow not having as much appetite, I'm irritable and I hardly dare to step in front of the cam. I don't know if I should give up and get unemployed again. I don't even know what to do or why everyone thinks I'm fake:(i just need help.

Hi,

My first impulse is to wish I were sitting at a table with you and a high level mathematician... (AND a human psychologist).


For while I totally get/believe/expect that you HAVE experienced some could-be 'bullying'... AND that (all) of those phrases you list HAVE been directed at you from humans in your chatroom... I would want to have a sense for how many viewers were there at the time, to understand how out-of-the-ordinary this is. (and I need the math whiz, and the human psychologist to assure a 'fair' analysis)

Among the greatest accidental things about webcam model rooms, is that those/any who might be caused to tease or be rude to her in reference to physical attributes... CAN EASILY BE in other rooms where they can watch physical attributes they admire and desire !!

This isn't like 4th grade, where the mean kid behind you is stuck there for the whole school year.


I don't even think the "your pussy..." line is unique enough to be fair in the context here... for it is widely believed that the "porn star pussy" (I.E. NO prominent inner labia) is somehow 'sought-after' by everyone... which is a load of crap... BUT if anyone were to draw a reference to "a little girl"... it would BE the smooth, hairless pussy with no or little visible inner labia.

SO even if it isn't so nice to be compared to 'a little girl'... that is STILL a look envied by a whole lot of self-conscious people.


"The teacher"... sounds like a reference that is more flattering than not. The implication being you look/seem 'proper' and 'appropriate' much of the time... (and that you likely put on quite a show when the heat is on).


You have a great guess there, about "former moderators you've removed"... those would be about the only people in a psychological position to bother bullying you at all.

But that probably says more about the mentality of the average moderator, than it does about you.


What you need to do (IF you want to keep camming, that is, and that is entirely your choice!) ... is identify your best unique and appealing traits... and KEEP PLAYING YOUR ACES...


After a year on cam, you've clearly heard from men just which anatomical wonders you have that they're drawn to...

(again, if most people on CB would prefer 7-foot tall Asian women to you... they WOULD BE in rooms watching 7-foot tall Asian women!!!)

(those in your room are there because some element of YOU attracted them.)


LESS make-up, more self-confidence... and more 'deliberate' in your approach... RECOGNIZE your own sexuality, and PRESENT IT with confidence!


(* clarity: I don't know YOU from "Eve"... so I don't know how much make-up you wear, OR whether you're a 7-foot tall Asian woman... <but those do NOT matter, if you catch my drift> )


Now march out there... and BE a natural woman on camera !
 
delete all your accounts , all social medias , all things related to you and start over with a new attitude , and very mean and very ban happy , without moderatos ever ,and with all greys blocked everywere . Change hair colour , make yourself pretty daily and make you ultimate goal to ban ban ban and do not react in any way at any troll from today beggining , only ban and go further like never happend . Also speak only with those who tip , and give short answers to the others if you want , make some list of boundaries and never ever cross them , who insists no matter how much pays then apply the HOLLY SACRED BAN !
This was helpful for me too, thanks.
 
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Hum, a contrario of most forum members I wouldn't advice you to ban greys from chatting on CB. My most loyal and regular members there are all former greys that hanged a lot in my room. Just ban grey trolls and beggars. Through that doesn't really apply to other sites.

Tho, just be ban heavy with everybody.
 
Hum, a contrario of most forum members I wouldn't advice you to ban greys from chatting on CB. My most loyal and regular members there are all former greys that hanged a lot in my room. Just ban grey trolls and beggars. Through that doesn't really apply to other sites.

Tho, just be ban heavy with everybody.
Well for me its the oposite i do not make any cent if i let greys on , I think it must everyone test whats working better
 
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Well for me its the oposite i do not make any cent if i let greys on , I think it must everyone test whats working better
Yes, I think everyone needs to figure out what works for them, I guess through a little trial and error. All of us members started as a grey, even if it was for 5 minutes (I'm a member only on CB).

Some of the most entertaining members I have seen are grey and brighten up the room if it is harmless chat.

I like the idea of key words to ban. I've seen it where a member will even acknowledge that their message went into the trash and they had to re-phrase.

I've seen bad behavior from all colors on CB. From language to making demands to do things that are clearly on the tip menu (including dark purple members).

If you don't like something a member says, you can silence or ban (I don't know what all the options are).

I've seen good and bad moderators. Most of my friends are not busy enough to need a mod (20 - 50 members in the room), so they can handle this themselves. I wouldn't want to mod for them, as I'm not there every day, so don't know if a member is a regular, or whether they tipped big the night before.

A little off topic, I found out through this forum that colors may not mean a lot anyway, other than grey. I am normally a dark purple, but changed my color to dark blue. I did this for two reasons:
  1. I don't always have tokens (especially by about two weeks after pay day), so I can't tip like a dark purple, and;
  2. To reduce number of instant PMs that I got when I entered a new model's room. I rarely get any now that I'm dark blue compared to previously.
I also have two member profiles set up with a minor name variation. I am a Fanclub member with my friends to support them, but I will often go into their room with my other profile. My friends know this and will PM me if they want to chat. I found that having fanclub members in the room seemed to put off other people from tipping. But mods don't know this, not that I'm about to go into a room and bad mouth a model anyway. But it might mean a grey (my second account is not grey) also has another account which is dark purple.

Sorry for the long post!
 
Hum, a contrario of most forum members I wouldn't advice you to ban greys from chatting on CB. My most loyal and regular members there are all former greys that hanged a lot in my room. Just ban grey trolls and beggars. Through that doesn't really apply to other sites.

Tho, just be ban heavy with everybody.
Nah. Ban the grays. If they want to chat they can buy tokens. Sure there might be a couple who have decent banter but it's not worth the hassle of the 99% who are rude assholes.
 
Nah. Ban the grays. If they want to chat they can buy tokens. Sure there might be a couple who have decent banter but it's not worth the hassle of the 99% who are rude assholes.
On CB, are greys people who have never bought tokens, or just don't have any right now but bought them before?
 
greys have never bought them, at least with that account


light blues can be just as annoying, as many of them seem to be there trying to get models to go cam2cam for free
 
greys have never bought them, at least with that account


light blues can be just as annoying, as many of them seem to be there trying to get models to go cam2cam for free
OH, so blues have bought them but don't have any now? Roger that.

So greys on CB are basics on MFC.

Yeah every model has to decide for themselves if it's beneficial to have them chatting or not. In my experience, they are a major distraction to the actual good conversation that I can maintain with premium users in the room already.
 
With regards to Carmen, she has 2 similar threads in the links below. Seems to have been having problems for a while, including dodgy white knights.
 
On CB, are greys people who have never bought tokens, or just don't have any right now but bought them before?


Greys = Never BOUGHT (purchased - note this) before.
Light Blues = HAVE purchased but REMAIN light blue regardless of whether they have any NOW or if they have 0 (most will keep hold of 1 token so they can continue to chat in rooms that require the permission "only users with tokens can chat")


Back to that grey + never BOUGHT tokens.
You can SEND tokens, or EARN tokens and then as soon as you go back to 0, you will turn to grey, so if you don't buy any, and you just tip them to someone else or cashout.

So for example sake: User A and User B. User A has purchased tokens and tips them to User B (have to have a verified account to receive any tokens), now User B shows as light blue, but when User B tips those tokens to User C they (User B) will turn back to grey). User A will remain light blue (or whatever colour he has "reached" the criteria for but let's keep this simple for this example).

I hope that makes sense, it's very simple, I promise, but maybe a bit more complicated than it is needed
 
@Brett M
I didn't think you could send tokens to non performers? I read that it was possible previously, but not anymore?
Also, when you register as a performer, do you receive a few tokens from chaturbate, thus turning you light blue?
 
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OH, so blues have bought them but don't have any now? Roger that.

So greys on CB are basics on MFC.

Yeah every model has to decide for themselves if it's beneficial to have them chatting or not. In my experience, they are a major distraction to the actual good conversation that I can maintain with premium users in the room already.
Light blues may have or not have tokens. I jsut ask most of my regulars how much tokens they have on their account and i can estimate the rest of the room easily.

Also users have the option to turn off the color change and stay light blue whatever they tip 9a couple of my higgest tppers were always light blue despite tipping 10k+ per stream, pretty sure of it)

I still disagree about grey users. I have some % of my members coming to CB from my site or from Twitter. Most of those who discover CB are grey, but they buy tokens quite fastly, usually after a couple of streams. I feel it's a shoot in your own knee to lock them from chatting. Through that's true if you run promotion outside of CB.

On another hand i always block grey on Stripchat, idk wjhy but they are always half crazed (xhamster traffic?)
 
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You can, but the token recipient must have a verified account ("model account") to be able to receive them.

This.
You need to fill out the form and upload the documents.
I did it for 2 accounts, no intention of being a broadcaster but it's for multiple reasons I do it.
And this is the reason how I know that sending tokens to and from the other account, still remains grey (i use it to "store" tokens sometimes so I don't get carried away and spend everything all in 1 go lol).

They are both classed as "broadcaster/model" accounts, so if I go to a room in them and the room has it set so "broadcasters can't chat", I am unable to chat it's the one downfall, but it's not the end of the world at all.
 
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