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Cam relationships and real ones

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marvelb0y

Banhammered
Jan 18, 2013
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As is often the case, these stories are told when it's over and my case is no different. I'm not going to pretend this is anything but catharsis at this point but if you're at all curious, feel free to read through my long story.

I've always had a thing for Romanian cam models. In 2004, I met my first one and I was instantly in love. She had the bluest eyes and being painfully naive to cam sites, I believed every word she said. In November of that year, I traveled to her country and spent two weekends with her. She scammed 2000 euros from me by saying her mommy needed heart surgery. She was a huge liar and nothing ever happened between us.

In 2005, a Romanian model who worked in Amsterdam came to the US on a student visa. I met her in LA and we had a great time in the club. A few months later, I invited her to move in with me. She did and we lasted all of one week before we had a massive fight and I tossed her out. We never had sex, she had a boyfriend.

After these two and another one who I luckily didn't meet, I learned my lesson and decided to focus on real relationships with women around me. And I found someone in 2007 and I married her four years later. We have a kid now, she is three and a half. My daughter is the most beautiful amazing thing and I was so in love with her that I would do anything for her.

But my marriage was rocky. A year before she was born, in 2012, I had separated from my wife and I started going on cam sites again. I met another Romanian cam model, this one much younger than the rest. She was only 22 at the time. From 2005 to 2012, things have dramatically changed on cam sites I noticed. The women were far younger and hotter. Maybe because of the economy or maybe because of the maturity of the industry, young, attractive and intelligent women started working on cam sites like never before.This particular girl went to medical school. She looked like she could have just walked off a magazine. We met twice in 2013, once in Amsterdam and once in Bucharest. She turned heads where ever we went. We had a great fling but neither of us were committed or honest. My wife was already pregnant back home and this model was seeing another American guy.

After my daughter was born, I still found the time to visit cam sites. My marriage was still rocky and I needed an escape more than ever. In 2014, I met online my last Romanian cam model. At the time, she was hot but a virtual nobody on MFC, ranked in the 2000s perhaps. I kept in touch with her as a casual friend as she rose through the ranks. These days, she's often in the teens or single digits. I never planned to meet her and it wasn't love at first sight. We just grew closer and closer as I helped her with ideas on how to cam. Even as we started texting and skyping in 2015 and grew even closer in 2016, I never asked to meet her in person because of my daughter. I don't know if she would have agreed to it anyway. We used to joke that we'll meet in 18 years.

But in 2016, she went a little nuts from overwork I suppose. She quit MFC abruptly and cut off all contact with me. She posted on Twitter that she was happy with her life. I was sad but I moved on. My relationship with my wife and daughter significantly improved. However, in November of 2016, she suddenly started talking to me again. She had met a member, got knocked up and now he was gone. She didn't ask for my help but I wanted to help her. I didn't want anything from her but I hated the fact that now she has limited choices in her life. So I gave her the idea to get an abortion. She did and she wanted to go back to her former glory on MFC. I helped her in that endeavor.

We grew close again and this time I asked to see her. Somehow I felt like the time was right and since I already lost her once, I can't afford to do it again. We said we were in love and I think we were. I was ready to get a divorce and marry her so she can come to the US. We met three times and traveled. And I trusted her. She had very little reason to be with me other than love. I do okay but I'm not rich. And I was married with a daughter. She made more money than my wife and I combined and she lives in a country with a cost of living that was 1/10 or less. Everything looked good on paper. When I complained about her with my MFC friends, they would only be partially sympathetic. They all wanted to have a shot at what I had. But she was a difficult person to date. I guess if I were a sex starved guy, I would have licked her feet and did anything she wanted. She is undeniably beautiful and she did what I liked in bed. But outside of the bedroom, she was really hard to please.I know this is what a real relationship is like but I just could not picture myself with her over the long run. It would blow up spectacularly at some point I'm sure. As you may have guessed, it ended, just today. She dumped me and I wasn't willing to try to win her back as I have before. Surprisingly, I'm not that angry at her. She did try, even if she ended up being a very flawed person, as am I. And now my cam story is complete.
 
When will guys learn cam relationships are not the same as real ones.

We here almost this exact story 10000 times on this forum.
 
When will guys learn cam relationships are not the same as real ones.

We here almost this exact story 10000 times on this forum.

Agreed, but to play Devil's Advocate slightly, would the cam girls at the centre of these stories make anywhere close to what they do if they didn't let said guys think, and in some (many?) cases actively try to convince them otherwise?
 
Hi I dont know if your story is true or not, and I dont want to sound a bit harsh, but anyway I just cant believe US guys are so easy to be fooled.

You are on cam sites to live a fantasy. Models are there for business. Focus on things that really matter in your life, your lover, your wife, your friends, your job. And most of all real people in your real life not in the online fantasyland.
 
As is often the case, these stories are told when it's over and my case is no different. I'm not going to pretend this is anything but catharsis at this point but if you're at all curious, feel free to read through my long story.

I've always had a thing for Romanian cam models. In 2004, I met my first one and I was instantly in love. She had the bluest eyes and being painfully naive to cam sites, I believed every word she said. In November of that year, I traveled to her country and spent two weekends with her. She scammed 2000 euros from me by saying her mommy needed heart surgery. She was a huge liar and nothing ever happened between us.

In 2005, a Romanian model who worked in Amsterdam came to the US on a student visa. I met her in LA and we had a great time in the club. A few months later, I invited her to move in with me. She did and we lasted all of one week before we had a massive fight and I tossed her out. We never had sex, she had a boyfriend.

After these two and another one who I luckily didn't meet, I learned my lesson and decided to focus on real relationships with women around me. And I found someone in 2007 and I married her four years later. We have a kid now, she is three and a half. My daughter is the most beautiful amazing thing and I was so in love with her that I would do anything for her.

But my marriage was rocky. A year before she was born, in 2012, I had separated from my wife and I started going on cam sites again. I met another Romanian cam model, this one much younger than the rest. She was only 22 at the time. From 2005 to 2012, things have dramatically changed on cam sites I noticed. The women were far younger and hotter. Maybe because of the economy or maybe because of the maturity of the industry, young, attractive and intelligent women started working on cam sites like never before.This particular girl went to medical school. She looked like she could have just walked off a magazine. We met twice in 2013, once in Amsterdam and once in Bucharest. She turned heads where ever we went. We had a great fling but neither of us were committed or honest. My wife was already pregnant back home and this model was seeing another American guy.

After my daughter was born, I still found the time to visit cam sites. My marriage was still rocky and I needed an escape more than ever. In 2014, I met online my last Romanian cam model. At the time, she was hot but a virtual nobody on MFC, ranked in the 2000s perhaps. I kept in touch with her as a casual friend as she rose through the ranks. These days, she's often in the teens or single digits. I never planned to meet her and it wasn't love at first sight. We just grew closer and closer as I helped her with ideas on how to cam. Even as we started texting and skyping in 2015 and grew even closer in 2016, I never asked to meet her in person because of my daughter. I don't know if she would have agreed to it anyway. We used to joke that we'll meet in 18 years.

But in 2016, she went a little nuts from overwork I suppose. She quit MFC abruptly and cut off all contact with me. She posted on Twitter that she was happy with her life. I was sad but I moved on. My relationship with my wife and daughter significantly improved. However, in November of 2016, she suddenly started talking to me again. She had met a member, got knocked up and now he was gone. She didn't ask for my help but I wanted to help her. I didn't want anything from her but I hated the fact that now she has limited choices in her life. So I gave her the idea to get an abortion. She did and she wanted to go back to her former glory on MFC. I helped her in that endeavor.

We grew close again and this time I asked to see her. Somehow I felt like the time was right and since I already lost her once, I can't afford to do it again. We said we were in love and I think we were. I was ready to get a divorce and marry her so she can come to the US. We met three times and traveled. And I trusted her. She had very little reason to be with me other than love. I do okay but I'm not rich. And I was married with a daughter. She made more money than my wife and I combined and she lives in a country with a cost of living that was 1/10 or less. Everything looked good on paper. When I complained about her with my MFC friends, they would only be partially sympathetic. They all wanted to have a shot at what I had. But she was a difficult person to date. I guess if I were a sex starved guy, I would have licked her feet and did anything she wanted. She is undeniably beautiful and she did what I liked in bed. But outside of the bedroom, she was really hard to please.I know this is what a real relationship is like but I just could not picture myself with her over the long run. It would blow up spectacularly at some point I'm sure. As you may have guessed, it ended, just today. She dumped me and I wasn't willing to try to win her back as I have before. Surprisingly, I'm not that angry at her. She did try, even if she ended up being a very flawed person, as am I. And now my cam story is complete.

You do not see camgirls as real people. Which is okay, we are meant to be fantasy girls - but in that case you can't date us, you can't have it both ways, see us something different from other women and something you can safely fall in love with and plan future with.
I do resent the implication a camgirl can only be a sidehoe or a fling and women met other way you can have a "real relationship".
I'm not sure what made you post here though. This is not a member forum, what reaction do you expect? Especially with a title like that.
 
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I'm out of line as usual, but what makes it a "Cam Story"? What would you call it if she was a nurse, a librarian or a bus driver? Just asking, not judging, and with respect to all parties involved. By the way this is coming from an expert in ruining relationships :)
 
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I'm not proud of my latest post, it's a zero sum game on my end, and a childish move. I'd better find other ways to win affection than bringing someone else down. Sorry, I just realized that I was posting out of my butt. I'm not a model, nor a member, and I'm not versed in these inner dynamics.

It's ok to be mean sometimes. You're human. Also I chuckled.
 
I also seem to attract many men who want me as their "for real" girlfriend. I find it very odd that these men are going to cam sites to find girlfriends! Like, you don't know this girl, she is obviously here to make MONEY, not to find her soulmate. I get asked ALL the time if I meet in real life! No, I don't meet in real life! I'm here to make money, yo! Not find a boyfriend. You're not saving me from a life of camming. And p.s., I already have a boyfriend and soulmate. He just happens to be totally cool with me camming.
 
For your safety and everyone else's around you... Step away from the camsites... And find a good counselor/Psychologist.

The main point I got from your post is you have some serious issues with women, relationships and yourself and should really resolve those. You are what I would call a pretty classic camsite addict. You want the fantasy rather than reality, you are the sort who will say you love a cam model but only because she is a goddess to you, showing only one side of her in a situation where other men desire her. You seem to like the idea that you are above other men and have had a chance with these girls, but what is clear is that you expect to have a "real" relationship with them, yet you do not want reality. Once you see the reality you get put off. You say this model is flawed, but I bet you are no picnic to go out with either. People are flawed, that is a part of life and relationships. You are clearly chasing these gorgeous, young fantasies at the expense of your wife and daughter. You say you love your daughter yet you are so clearly choosing your own sexual fantasies over her. You are a fool, it is embarrassing and if you were my father I would be ashamed.
Not only are you screwing around with your wife's emotions, you are also leading young women into your own messed up sense of self. Sure, cam models may appear independent, in control and savvy. But underneath that we have very real lives and very real feelings, for some this can come with a whole load of harsh pasts or mental health issues. Putting that with a taboo job online it can lead to intense loneliness. In this situation they can be just as vulnerable as lonely members, and you seem to be taking advantage of this for your own sexual excitement. It's not cool. You are talking about love yet you are doing what my friend calls "emotional wanking". You are using emotions as a thrill rather than genuinely feeling them. Many of us do this at various points in our lives, but in your situation I think you need to really look at yourself and what is missing. I doubt it's anything to do with your wife or any of these cam models. This is on you. What you describe is not natural or healthy, yes some people meet models and some models have relationships with members, but the way you are treating it is as your personal dating site. That isn't what cam models are for. If you want a sugarbabe then go and find one where you both know the score.
Like the others, I feel sorry for your wife. In this story she is a faceless "wife" and "mother" of your daughter, someone to pick up and put down when you feel like it while you chase after "younger and hotter" models.
I am all good with the idea of open relationships and I don't see anything wrong with watching porn while in a relationship/marriage, but what you are doing is pathetic and goes beyond the line. What you have described is why camming has a bad image and is everything wrong with it, even though what you are doing is a complete misuse of the service. It would be forgivable if you made the mistake once, but it's insane that you clearly want to keep going back there yet seem unaware that you have a problem.
Maybe I'm just in a grumpy mood today, but sometimes when you read this kind of bullshit it just makes you want to slam your head against a wall. How do people spend so long on camsites and on this forum and STILL not learn? You are not a special snowflake. You are not automatically immune to the stories we always hear. Yes it will probably happen to you too. Yet I keep seeing these guys that are so surprised that "too good to be true" actually was! Shock. If you choose to chase "the dream" even knowing the score, I'm sorry but I have no sympathy when things don't work out perfectly for you.
 
For your safety and everyone else's around you... Step away from the camsites... And find a good counselor/Psychologist.

The main point I got from your post is you have some serious issues with women, relationships and yourself and should really resolve those. You are what I would call a pretty classic camsite addict. You want the fantasy rather than reality, you are the sort who will say you love a cam model but only because she is a goddess to you, showing only one side of her in a situation where other men desire her. You seem to like the idea that you are above other men and have had a chance with these girls, but what is clear is that you expect to have a "real" relationship with them, yet you do not want reality. Once you see the reality you get put off. You say this model is flawed, but I bet you are no picnic to go out with either. People are flawed, that is a part of life and relationships. You are clearly chasing these gorgeous, young fantasies at the expense of your wife and daughter. You say you love your daughter yet you are so clearly choosing your own sexual fantasies over her. You are a fool, it is embarrassing and if you were my father I would be ashamed.
Not only are you screwing around with your wife's emotions, you are also leading young women into your own messed up sense of self. Sure, cam models may appear independent, in control and savvy. But underneath that we have very real lives and very real feelings, for some this can come with a whole load of harsh pasts or mental health issues. Putting that with a taboo job online it can lead to intense loneliness. In this situation they can be just as vulnerable as lonely members, and you seem to be taking advantage of this for your own sexual excitement. It's not cool. You are talking about love yet you are doing what my friend calls "emotional wanking". You are using emotions as a thrill rather than genuinely feeling them. Many of us do this at various points in our lives, but in your situation I think you need to really look at yourself and what is missing. I doubt it's anything to do with your wife or any of these cam models. This is on you. What you describe is not natural or healthy, yes some people meet models and some models have relationships with members, but the way you are treating it is as your personal dating site. That isn't what cam models are for. If you want a sugarbabe then go and find one where you both know the score.
Like the others, I feel sorry for your wife. In this story she is a faceless "wife" and "mother" of your daughter, someone to pick up and put down when you feel like it while you chase after "younger and hotter" models.
I am all good with the idea of open relationships and I don't see anything wrong with watching porn while in a relationship/marriage, but what you are doing is pathetic and goes beyond the line. What you have described is why camming has a bad image and is everything wrong with it, even though what you are doing is a complete misuse of the service. It would be forgivable if you made the mistake once, but it's insane that you clearly want to keep going back there yet seem unaware that you have a problem.
Maybe I'm just in a grumpy mood today, but sometimes when you read this kind of bullshit it just makes you want to slam your head against a wall. How do people spend so long on camsites and on this forum and STILL not learn? You are not a special snowflake. You are not automatically immune to the stories we always hear. Yes it will probably happen to you too. Yet I keep seeing these guys that are so surprised that "too good to be true" actually was! Shock. If you choose to chase "the dream" even knowing the score, I'm sorry but I have no sympathy when things don't work out perfectly for you.
I was just thinking, what will happen if Isabella hammers his narrative down? Precise and sharp, as always.
 
I was just thinking, what will happen if Isabella hammers his narrative down? Precise and sharp, as always.

Haha well this time I'm a bit hormonal which tends to make me a bit more abrupt. Maybe I was a little mean... I'll decide when the hormones die down.

You know what, on the other hand I get to serve so many models with steady relationships, families, kids, and their lives are so Vanilla (in a good way). We really shouldn't be taking this dude as an example. It's a complex freelance trade, and I'm lucky to assist the people in it.

I agree, guys like the OP seem to act like cam models are unicorns. Then of course when we remove our make up and take away the glittery persona they realise we're all just regular mares that bite when they're pissed off, get dirty out in the field and don't always prance about like princess sparkles. At the end of the day, most models are pretty normal. Perhaps a little more quirky than most people, but with the same sorts of relationships as anyone else. Personally I don't feel camming has ever negatively affected my relationships. I also have some pretty great relationships with members who have been regulars over the years.
The title of this thread is very misleading to the content. It also isn't worded particularly well as it implies no cam relationships are real. Sometimes there is that distinction, but not always. I definitely feel I have some real relationships with members. They are different from real life friends, but not that much. For example, I might not tell a member my full name and address even if we got really close. But then I wouldn't give that information to many real life friends either, the only situation would be if they were coming over. Online friends won't be "coming over" as they aren't in the area and that's not where you usually hang out. There would be no reason for them to come over. In real life and online, you spend time with certain people in certain situations. Doesn't mean the friendships are necessarily less real in either. But the "real" relationships I have had on cam have not been with members like the OP. The OP seems like one who is always searching for "more". The great relationships I have had with member friends are with those who accept our relationship for what it is and do not desire to push those boundaries because they value it for what it is. Perhaps if I tried to make it more with some then something would happen, but I respect and value them more than that. No point complicating a good thing and risking heartbreak and upset. I like being a safe place, away from real life girlfriends and friends but yet something in between.
 
This forum is a safe place to begin with. My ex- girlfriend was stressed about my line of work because of her social wisdom about webcams. It wasn't however the factor that ended our relationship.
It's an important service, and there are actual gentlemen who use it. I view cam girls like my fellow colleagues, and it's hard for a lot of people to accept. They think about glam and luxury and forget about the work.
It's true that I can never be a member in a camsite, but it's a choice I made by becoming a rep, and I'm totally okay with it. There is so much extra added value for me, and I met so many mentors in the industry(You included Isabella), that it really doesn't matter. I do my best to keep my day to day frustrations out, although today I might have failed a little.
 
To be honest, the title of the thread was something I didn't really consider. I really didn't mean to set apart the difference between cam relationships and real ones like that. The last one in my story was a real relationship and I would never say it's a cam relationship. Also, I didn't mean to make it sound like a cautionary tale. Of course what's the point of writing it? Catharsis like I said. I didn't write it to make a point, I just told what happened. I didn't conclude cam models are scammers, relationship with models are doomed or that Romanians are crooked. If you formed that conclusion, that is you projecting.

@IsabellaSnow Hey you are really smart and astute. I do have problems and I am deciding to step away from cam sites. My sister, who is a psychiatrist, says I have some sociopathic tendencies. And yes I have been a bad father. I am trying to fix that now.
 
When I see a post like this i always wonder where these models find idiots like you? And why cant I find one who would just give me 2000 euros haha. Serious , where ?

Why the name calling? I guess it makes you feel good? Anyway, go talk to my ex cam model friend. Two thousand euros is nothing, she makes that in a day or two. People like me is why girls can make a million tokens a month. I'm not the only one, you need to improve your hustle if you can't find one.
 
Why the name calling? I guess it makes you feel good? Anyway, go talk to my ex cam model friend. Two thousand euros is nothing, she makes that in a day or two. People like me is why girls can make a million tokens a month. I'm not the only one, you need to improve your hustle if you can't find one.
Any pointers to improving my hustle so I too can make 2k a day? Does it have to involve dying grandmothers.
 
Agreed, but to play Devil's Advocate slightly, would the cam girls at the centre of these stories make anywhere close to what they do if they didn't let said guys think, and in some (many?) cases actively try to convince them otherwise?
Well I can't say because I'm not like that. I make money from camming and clips just fine without faking love interest with the clients i have.

The guys need to learn its a fantasy.
 
I know how romanian models are trained in the studios : "a hand who doenst have a sad story doesnt receive a tip ." I guess i should start make up some crazy sad stories for guys like you lol. Or NAH
 
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