Cold feet about jumping back into it

[ramona_reed]

I took a year-long hiatus due to my ex guilting me into quitting. I'm having jitters about it now for several reasons
1) I did some exploring and discovered that I'm a trans man. I feel so much better after figuring this out, but I'm worried that my fan base might decrease or I'll get some horribly nasty people. I'm fairly used to nasty peeps from when I used to be a camgirl, but something about thinking about them taking a jab at something so personal to me makes me anxious
2) My anxiety is much worse than it used to be
3) I can't even remember the login for most of my cam accounts tbh
4) My partner and I live in a tiny studio apartment and I have no privacy + they're not working rn so I never have any alone time (they know what I do and support me, I just like my privacy when I cam)

 

[oyabeelovely]

I haven’t been in the industry for very long so feel free to take what I say with a grain of salt.
You may not have the same regulars that you had before and that’s okay because your fan base will evolve with your new persona. There’s a demographic searching for YOU right now, and they may not even know it yet. From what I’ve heard performers who have had similar experiences such as yours have had success with planning how they want to approach cam life this time around and starting from there, the approach may be vastly different or it may be the same but I don’t have much insight on that only you know how you want to construct your business. Trial and error, inhale exhale also you’ll probably get some assholes and thats just the nature of this industry because we live in a world where people don’t educate themselves and also can hide behind a computer screen if you can ignore them great if it’s impacting your mental health I’d take a step back and do some self care and remember you are valid and amazing.
2. Anxiety sucks. I can only speak on my experience. I get anxious 8/10 times that I have to get online and when I go into shows. I hope for a day when my anxiety and depression won’t negatively impact my work but that day may never come. Just the other day I had a break down and cried because I was too anxious to get online... some days I let that be my story and just do some self care in place of my cam shift because I know no one will pay me looking like that lol sometimes people make crying videos in my shoes but that’s the last thing on my mind in those circumstances other times I push through it because I love this job and bills need to be paid but I’m also very gentle with myself so if the anxiety is really bad I’ll hit stream for short periods at a time and that works for me because I’m on a private based site but can’t speak for how that may work for you. Breathing exercises and coloring have done wonders for my anxiety during breaks from cam. Also just camming when I feel extremely confident but that may be hard for you if you’re nervous about doing it when your partner is home.
3. You may fair better getting all new accounts and starting fresh honestly. Some perks include new model status depending on where you stream, not having to explain your identity to old regs and coddling their confusion and ignorance if there is any (BUT there also may just be complete acceptance) because I’d imagine that can get tiring, might even help with some anxiety because a fresh start could feel amazing and limitless.
4. Since your partner is supportive would you be comfortable maybe asking them if they could step out of the house for a few hours so that you could work? Would playing music help distract from the fact that they are there since they won’t be able to hear you?
I hope this is helpful and if it isn’t I apologize and am sending you so many virtual hugs. You’ve got this! Sometimes the hardest part is simply getting back on But once you do that you may wonder what you were so worried about to begin with.

 

[ramona_reed]

I haven’t been in the industry for very long so feel free to take what I say with a grain of salt.
You may not have the same regulars that you had before and that’s okay because your fan base will evolve with your new persona. There’s a demographic searching for YOU right now, and they may not even know it yet. From what I’ve heard performers who have had similar experiences such as yours have had success with planning how they want to approach cam life this time around and starting from there, the approach may be vastly different or it may be the same but I don’t have much insight on that only you know how you want to construct your business. Trial and error, inhale exhale also you’ll probably get some assholes and thats just the nature of this industry because we live in a world where people don’t educate themselves and also can hide behind a computer screen if you can ignore them great if it’s impacting your mental health I’d take a step back and do some self care and remember you are valid and amazing.
2. Anxiety sucks. I can only speak on my experience. I get anxious 8/10 times that I have to get online and when I go into shows. I hope for a day when my anxiety and depression won’t negatively impact my work but that day may never come. Just the other day I had a break down and cried because I was too anxious to get online... some days I let that be my story and just do some self care in place of my cam shift because I know no one will pay me looking like that lol sometimes people make crying videos in my shoes but that’s the last thing on my mind in those circumstances other times I push through it because I love this job and bills need to be paid but I’m also very gentle with myself so if the anxiety is really bad I’ll hit stream for short periods at a time and that works for me because I’m on a private based site but can’t speak for how that may work for you. Breathing exercises and coloring have done wonders for my anxiety during breaks from cam. Also just camming when I feel extremely confident but that may be hard for you if you’re nervous about doing it when your partner is home.
3. You may fair better getting all new accounts and starting fresh honestly. Some perks include new model status depending on where you stream, not having to explain your identity to old regs and coddling their confusion and ignorance if there is any (BUT there also may just be complete acceptance) because I’d imagine that can get tiring, might even help with some anxiety because a fresh start could feel amazing and limitless.
4. Since your partner is supportive would you be comfortable maybe asking them if they could step out of the house for a few hours so that you could work? Would playing music help distract from the fact that they are there since they won’t be able to hear you?
I hope this is helpful and if it isn’t I apologize and am sending you so many virtual hugs. You’ve got this! Sometimes the hardest part is simply getting back on But once you do that you may wonder what you were so worried about to begin with.

Thank you so much, this is really really helpful! Starting fresh does sound pretty nice tbh, so I think I might do that

I had a talk with my partner and they're willing to go out and chill somewhere while I cam, so that makes things easier ^^
Thank you again!