(I saw this shit on 4chan earlier and I thought it was pretty funny.)
I work building security for a highrise that has 21 elevators. 1 elevator breaks down weekly on average.
in my 7 years there here is my conclusion
Men
>when elevator appears "stuck"
>presses door open button
>door opens, man released
women
>cries, panics
>if cell phone is available, call a co-worker, then call fire dept
>building management and security are wondering WTF!? why is FD here?
>if no cell signal or no phone, cry, panic some more, scream, emotions run out of system, evaluate buttons, see Call button, press.
>woman freed.
if elevator is genuinely stuck
>man
>try door open button
>try emergency bell button
>try call button
>security retrieves door key
>man freed
woman
>see above
If an elevator is out of service and for some reason we cant keep doors closed, we turn the light off and place the elevator on fire recall service (keeps it on the 1st floor. requires a key to use)
man
>sees light out
>goes to next elevator
woman
>sees light out
>enters elevator
>complains buttons arent working
>comes to us
>informs us of shit we already know
>wastes 10 minutes of her time
when an elevator misses a floor
man
>press button again, arrive at floor
woman
>go back to lobby
>complain elevator broken
>one of us rides with her
>elevator delivers her to floor
>complains we did something to elevator
When using the service elevator (because people are assholes and think its quicker) and it takes a long time because contractors (the people that actually NEED to fucking use it) have it tied up
man
>waits a minute or two
>leaves and uses regular elevators
woman
>waits THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME
>rides elevator with gross mexicans
>stops at 10 different floors
>exits
>bitches to security about service elevator being slow and nasty and beat to shit
when elevators require a swipe card in after hours mode
man
>tries elevator
>doesnt go anywhere
>uses swipe card
>man arrives at destination
woman
>tries elevator
>tries it again
>and again
>goes to security
>why wont elevator go?
>did you use your swipe card?
>yes
>no you didnt because the camera says you didnt
>uses swipe card
>arrives at destination
>get email from building manager the next day about some dumb bitch trying to embellish the truth about how we were dicks (manager is so biased)
when elevator arrives at floor
man
>enters
>goes to destination
woman
>enters
>holds doors for friends or whatever stupid fucking reason
>friends are literall 60 seconds away still
>buzzer goes off
>this prevents all other elevators from being called because the system thinks there is an available car on the floor already so it ignores the call car button
>friends arrive
>doors now wont close because holding the doors open longer than 30 seconds forces it to go into independent service (because the software that controls it is a pile of dog shit)
>elevator must be reset manually
>elevator broken for rest of day until mechanic arrives
service elevator disabled for after hours. people still use it because assholes
man
>enter elevator
>elevator does not respond
>press door open button
>leave
woman
>enter elevator
>elevator does not respond
>panic because doors closed
>see top of post for behavior and results
time to enter an elevator
man
>moves to an open rear corner or the rear-most portion of the car
woman
>stands in the fucking center
crowded elevator
man
>rides car to destination
woman
>rides car to destination
>gets into different car
>rides back to lobby
>demands security do something about the ventilation in the car because allergic to perfumes, smokey smell on people, etc.
thats about it
differences man vs woman observation general now?
I work building security for a highrise that has 21 elevators. 1 elevator breaks down weekly on average.
in my 7 years there here is my conclusion
Men
>when elevator appears "stuck"
>presses door open button
>door opens, man released
women
>cries, panics
>if cell phone is available, call a co-worker, then call fire dept
>building management and security are wondering WTF!? why is FD here?
>if no cell signal or no phone, cry, panic some more, scream, emotions run out of system, evaluate buttons, see Call button, press.
>woman freed.
if elevator is genuinely stuck
>man
>try door open button
>try emergency bell button
>try call button
>security retrieves door key
>man freed
woman
>see above
If an elevator is out of service and for some reason we cant keep doors closed, we turn the light off and place the elevator on fire recall service (keeps it on the 1st floor. requires a key to use)
man
>sees light out
>goes to next elevator
woman
>sees light out
>enters elevator
>complains buttons arent working
>comes to us
>informs us of shit we already know
>wastes 10 minutes of her time
when an elevator misses a floor
man
>press button again, arrive at floor
woman
>go back to lobby
>complain elevator broken
>one of us rides with her
>elevator delivers her to floor
>complains we did something to elevator
When using the service elevator (because people are assholes and think its quicker) and it takes a long time because contractors (the people that actually NEED to fucking use it) have it tied up
man
>waits a minute or two
>leaves and uses regular elevators
woman
>waits THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME
>rides elevator with gross mexicans
>stops at 10 different floors
>exits
>bitches to security about service elevator being slow and nasty and beat to shit
when elevators require a swipe card in after hours mode
man
>tries elevator
>doesnt go anywhere
>uses swipe card
>man arrives at destination
woman
>tries elevator
>tries it again
>and again
>goes to security
>why wont elevator go?
>did you use your swipe card?
>yes
>no you didnt because the camera says you didnt
>uses swipe card
>arrives at destination
>get email from building manager the next day about some dumb bitch trying to embellish the truth about how we were dicks (manager is so biased)
when elevator arrives at floor
man
>enters
>goes to destination
woman
>enters
>holds doors for friends or whatever stupid fucking reason
>friends are literall 60 seconds away still
>buzzer goes off
>this prevents all other elevators from being called because the system thinks there is an available car on the floor already so it ignores the call car button
>friends arrive
>doors now wont close because holding the doors open longer than 30 seconds forces it to go into independent service (because the software that controls it is a pile of dog shit)
>elevator must be reset manually
>elevator broken for rest of day until mechanic arrives
service elevator disabled for after hours. people still use it because assholes
man
>enter elevator
>elevator does not respond
>press door open button
>leave
woman
>enter elevator
>elevator does not respond
>panic because doors closed
>see top of post for behavior and results
time to enter an elevator
man
>moves to an open rear corner or the rear-most portion of the car
woman
>stands in the fucking center
crowded elevator
man
>rides car to destination
woman
>rides car to destination
>gets into different car
>rides back to lobby
>demands security do something about the ventilation in the car because allergic to perfumes, smokey smell on people, etc.
thats about it
differences man vs woman observation general now?
