Extremely needy and annoying MFC member

  • ** WARNING - ACF CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT **
    Only persons aged 18 or over may read or post to the forums, without regard to whether an adult actually owns the registration or parental/guardian permission. AmberCutie's Forum (ACF) is for use by adults only and contains adult content. By continuing to use this site you are confirming that you are at least 18 years of age.

Mfcalana

Cam Model
Feb 10, 2019
165
163
18
Australia
profiles.myfreecams.com
Twitter Username
@MFCalana
MFC Username
TheWaveDancer
Hey people! Im curious to know if im the only person who had to deal with this REALLY harassing member. I struggle to ban him because he doesn't use any rude language but he is well and truly playing the victim and trying to manipulate me. I will copy a few messages below if you have the patience to read it. Maybe you dealt with him too. I went to the extent of telling him I wasn't interested in his friendship and he just keeps going. I kinda wanna show you guys because its kinda funny how friggin intense he is. Surely im not the only one going through this... If you think you have been dealing with the same person let me know. He's done the same thing in December and now came back a couple weeks ago with a different name thinking I wouldn't recognise his behaviour.

TheWaveDancer: If you ask me a question i'll answer. I dont always have an answer for each comment.
19:07:01 ******: sorry well it would be nice if you made an effort too.. like you do for the others in the room.
19:09:35 TheWaveDancer: Im not talking to anyone in the room in pm except right now for you so im not sure what you mean.
19:16:29 ******: Alana, what I mean is why is that I come in I say hello how are you and you reply back which is nice that then it just goes way .. where as others say or do the same thing and your asking how your day, did you anything what the weather, or any of the multiple question you ask them but when come to me .. you go flat lined… then I try to joke in pm to get some going with you.. and again your flat lines with no respond. then when I ask .. you about it .. its oh.. I had nothing to say.. ..really makes me feel that you want me there. so from now on I am going to make it easy .. if you not going make an effort like you do with others .. why bother being in the room… I can talk to myself and have a better conversation.
19:34:40 *****: Alana there been many time I try to get some foreplay going with you because I wanted take you private .. and I am not like some who just going press the button .. if people arent interested or trying to have lil fun with its like forget about it. I need at least some sort a feeling/ connection back from that person. its the same when try to have a conversation, you are given you effort and words to others but when it come to me ... your uninterested.
19:41:19 *****: ok dont talk to me just proves my point.
THEN I GOT A 24 HOUR BREAK UNTIL ...
20:02:33 ******: Hey Alana I am not sure what to say other than, I came into your room to gain your friendship to have you want to get to know me, to have you ask questions and learn more about me. but instead it was one way conversation where I watched you give your attention and conversation while ask people questions to get to know them.
20:02:41 ******: Unfortunately I guess I didn’t realize that I wasn’t important enough to be in your circle of friends or have you interested enough in me to have a conversation. all that was reserved for others and Now I feel like a fool because I should saw this and I didn’t.
20:03:09 ******: its my fault really, it is my fault for wanting someone friendship who did not want mine. it stings a little but I’m not going run after it or beg. I just sorry that you did put much effort into me. like you did with others. I apologize for being myself and liking someone who didn’t like me. I wish you well.

When I was off broadcast I mailed him and told him that some members were there since my very beginning so im closer to them. I said that pm's were not for long conversation and already explained in the past that we need to go private if he wanted my undivided attention. I told him that we are not really connecting and that we should stop and also to watch his behaviour cause its a cam site not a dating site or a friendship site and he will never make friends if he's forcefully trying like this. Then I received THIS:

well,

just maybe if you bother to actually tried to get know me, this perceived thinking of your would have some validity but it doesn't. the length of time you know someone doesn't have any bearing on if he or she is going to be a good friend or not.

you have called me selfish for wanting the same things that you give to others, it is not self for wanting to have someone you like to have a conversation with them so a friendship can grow. as far as me wanting to have a private with you or anything sexual all this knowledge is from actually talking and have a conversation with them. Someone cant change they way the think or act with a person if the person is not willing share and have some exploratory conversation with the other.

you act like I want all your undivided attention or that I am taken away from others and their conversations with you. I don't interrupt their conversations with you and yes once or twice I had tied to include myself in some of them but you chose not to reply or comment on them.

You say that I don't wait my turn for conversations or that I haven't been patience. I actually had a lot of patiences because your conversations had never been directed towards me or even remotely tried to expand your view of me beyond shroud you have covered me under. it take two people Alana to want to know each other.. I had always put my hand of friendship out for you to have, but it you who has twice now slap it away.

I am sorry that you feel my friendship has no value or worth to you or the room but the fact is you never gave me the opportunity too but your right I cant force you to wanna get to know me. what this last email show me is that a person who come into your room really doesn't have much of a chance in getting any friendship with you because your priority on everyone has place them on a high pedestal that anyone that dares to want your attention, conversation or friendship is climbing a greased pole. you allow them to get so far with you, you allow the tip you, your allow them to maybe had a couple of words but to gain any friendship .. Impossible.

you currently friends and regulars know you and you know them great I happy you have friends you love and trust. all that I ever was trying to do here Alana is become a friend i don't make excuses nor do i sugar coat my feelings and if you had bother to have a conversation with me you would know that what you say or think of me currently is ignorant on your part.. no I am not calling you not Intelligent .. but you cant get to know someone if dont bother to actually talk with them. your friends already know you and you know them but how can you get know someone else or they you if you do not talk with them and have a real conversation to find out more about them.

its you who make yourself not reachable and cold the only warm you give is the people you already love and care for but for everyone else who looking to be in that circle. you keep them on the outside looking in and then wonder why someone like me comes at you like I have and in which you think that I am some kind of a jerk for wanting a friendship with you.


WHAT - THE - FUCK
 

SaffronBurke

Cam Model
Jan 3, 2013
17,694
59,609
3,093
30
Pluto
Twitter Username
@Sweet_Saffron
Tumblr Username
saffronburke
MFC Username
SaffronBurke
Streamate Username
SaffronBurke
Chaturbate Username
SaffronBurke
Clips4Sale URL
http://clips4sale.com/store/62613/Saffron
There's no getting through to this type. Blockity Blockity block block. Put him on ignore as well, so you won't see any of his messages.
 

JerryBoBerry

V.I.P. AmberLander
Jul 6, 2011
7,090
16,994
793
I didn't even read all of that. It already exhausted me. Block.

Forget being on the fence if someone is rising to a certain threshold to block. If you're already wondering, just block them and don't waste your time on them.
 

dark_mermaid

Cam Model
Oct 31, 2016
1,091
1,037
83
Can we diagnose his condition first please.
Haha, okay. He enjoys mfc, because unlike in real life women cannot stand up and leave in a date situation. When your cam is on, you're there and you can't "leave". Unlike real life, he knows you (and other girls) will also come back "to him", in his mind at least.

He also (falsely) assumes that you ARE on mfc to make a "deep connection".

He especially enjoys mfc for the pm functionality. It "saves" him from embarrassing comments in public chat, unlike on cb for example where such heavy pming is not possible.

And of course he assumes he is the "better user", while the rest are perverts.
 

Mfcalana

Cam Model
Feb 10, 2019
165
163
18
Australia
profiles.myfreecams.com
Twitter Username
@MFCalana
MFC Username
TheWaveDancer
Haha, okay. He enjoys mfc, because unlike in real life women cannot stand up and leave in a date situation. When your cam is on, you're there and you can't "leave". Unlike real life, he knows you (and other girls) will also come back "to him", in his mind at least.

He also (falsely) assumes that you ARE on mfc to make a "deep connection".

He especially enjoys mfc for the pm functionality. It "saves" him from embarrassing comments in public chat, unlike on cb for example where such heavy pming is not possible.

And of course he assumes he is the "better user", while the rest are perverts.
Hes always playing the victim im starting to think he actually likes it in a sexual way. Oh and also I said I was sapiosexual and he said "Im intelligant" twice... intelligant
 
Jul 11, 2019
3
1
0
Any luck to get a reward? ;)
Yes, I read all that thing below. What I am going to say is simple and straight - ban and forget.
It's clearly to me that person tried to manipulate you, struggling to wave your moral compass the way HE thought it should be: "look, I am a good guy and you just make me feel like a victim. You don't want any kind of friendship with me"... It occurred to me that the guy didn't see any difference between cam website and "hey, I am looking for pen pals" one.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mfcalana
Jun 21, 2017
456
301
63
Romania
Twitter Username
@SophiestiqueX
MFC Username
SophiestiqueM
Chaturbate Username
Sophiestique
had some guys like you're saying... only dealt with the ones that were also tipping... otherwise tryind to explain it gets me tired, not interested in friendship and stuff... then got to the part where my undivided attention has to be rewarded, got to part where in an expres way i asked for tokens ended up to ban/ignore and all. i think you had enough patience :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mfcalana

Mfcalana

Cam Model
Feb 10, 2019
165
163
18
Australia
profiles.myfreecams.com
Twitter Username
@MFCalana
MFC Username
TheWaveDancer
Does he at least tip???? lol
He tipped a total in the 4 digits, maybe like 1500 tokens, which is absolutely not enough for me to deal with this shit hahaha

Any luck to get a reward? ;)
Yes, I read all that thing below. What I am going to say is simple and straight - ban and forget.
It's clearly to me that person tried to manipulate you, struggling to wave your moral compass the way HE thought it should be: "look, I am a good guy and you just make me feel like a victim. You don't want any kind of friendship with me"... It occurred to me that the guy didn't see any difference between cam website and "hey, I am looking for pen pals" one.
Girl youre getting a medal and a congratulation certificate. I didnt even read it all in details. And I actually received another drama novel from him this morning. Hes trying, but not manipulating me, I swear the only reason he's not blocked is cause of my passion for psychology and how Im trying to analyse him. Ive tried various ways in the beginning to "deal" with him. Like when he was making a little comment such as "never mind, youre too busy to talk to me", my natural reaction would have been: Not happy? then fuck off. But instead I thought "Whats the best way to avoid drama with this person and keep getting tips?" And answered: " Im so sorry (not), of course I want to talk with you, I just had technical issue and lost the chat, didnt even know you had messaged me!" kinda thing. Then he was ok for a couple days but that went downhill quickly LOL. What would be the name of a condition where someone tries to guilt others into becoming their friend when there's visibility no connection? So far my diagnosis as an unqualified therapist and cam girl is that he is a bit of a sociopath:
  • Grandiose sense of self-importance. ...
  • Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur. ...
  • Needs constant praise and admiration. ...
  • Sense of entitlement. ...
  • Exploits others without guilt or shame. ...
  • Plays the victim
  • Untruthfulness and insincerity.
  • Poor judgment and failure to learn by experience.
 
Jul 11, 2019
3
1
0
You do the same thing as I did with one of my members. See, he was naive enough to think if he had my attention and part of my free time, he wouldn't need to pay for password shows. He thought he touched my heart... He wrote me kinda " you are didn't trust people because of million reasons why" pieces of writing art.

Instead of blocking, I started analysing him as well. You know, he was not an unique person but he thought he was. He was absolutely selfish like the majority of people around. He wrote me he loved me but I think it is obviously he loved only himself. Didn't want investing anything, wanted to get kind of a gift or win a lottery to feed his ego.

Alana, I think your member (as mine as well) is too weak inside, was broken by someone. There is a huge lack of self confidence in him. Just an average timid man who needs to trust and to be trusted. Maybe in that way he would stop blame everyone.

By the way, I admire your approach for making a conversation even with such a difficult type of members. Some of them indeed need more than teasing part or an explicit show. They need help to solve the puzzle "who I am".
 
Nov 7, 2016
2,006
2,320
133
Twitter Username
@Danepstein1
I had this type of emotional vampires as a bartender too, they drink one light beer for almost 8 hours, sipping it so slow, and believing they have the right to gain your attention the whole time. If someone really wants to be my friend, that someone should respect my work, and not make it harder for me, or make me responsible for their separation anxiety issues.
 

KMH

Cam Model
Mar 17, 2018
109
271
43
Sweden
Twitter Username
@certifiedhips
Tumblr Username
kissesonhips
Streamate Username
certifiedhips
Chaturbate Username
kissmyhips
I struggle to ban him because he doesn't use any rude language but
Doesn't matter. If he's affecting your mood negatively, get that out of your camroom.

He tipped a total in the 4 digits, maybe like 1500 tokens,
It's easier said that done but no amount of money will make up for being emotionally drained. Big tips might feel good in the short term but if said tipper is wearing you out, you won't have the will to get on cam, and your income will suffer in the long run.

Please consider what I + others have said in this thread in case anybody else comes into your room and tries to make you feel bad in the future. You are not obligated to anybody's personal problems. A happy streamer = a happy room, so don't let anybody try to mess with your headspace.
 
Aug 4, 2018
100
146
28
Can we diagnose his condition first please.
I can't help but think of the scene from Billy Madison.

“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
 
May 11, 2017
2,256
2,053
133
Terra Firma
I can't help but think of the scene from Billy Madison.

“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Or this...


 
  • Funny!
Reactions: Mfcalana

Mfcalana

Cam Model
Feb 10, 2019
165
163
18
Australia
profiles.myfreecams.com
Twitter Username
@MFCalana
MFC Username
TheWaveDancer
Alana, I think your member (as mine as well) is too weak inside, was broken by someone. There is a huge lack of self confidence in him. Just an average timid man who needs to trust and to be trusted. Maybe in that way he would stop blame everyone.
I think were just dealing with a sociopath with a pinch of autism here.

Doesn't matter. If he's affecting your mood negatively, get that out of your camroom.
As I said in my initial post, I was just finding it funny and was curious to know if anyone else dealt with him. You know when you laugh at something in disbelief? its the only thing it made me feel. He has never affected my mood for cam and I had no issues ignoring him when I was on cam and he would come up to me with drama. I just dont take that kinda shit. Hes blocked already.

I can't help but think of the scene from Billy Madison.

“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
Quote copied and saved for next time for sure!! But I will stop at "I award you no points" LOL
 
  • Like
Reactions: callmepete
Nov 12, 2017
937
768
63
UK
Twitter Username
@modelbios
Chaturbate Username
mrbeefy87
Wow, there is needy.... and then there is HIM.
I love how he gave you a whopping 7 minutes (before that 24-hour break) where he expected you to reply but then you didn't so he got needier. I mean, damn.

I feel sorry for all the women he does this shit to, and I bet there are a lot who feel bad for him and sympathetic. Luckily there are a lot like you ladies here and just cbf with someone like him purely because you have your own shit to worry about, rather than some little kid being needy 24/7.
I thought I was needy but damn, this guy is a whole new level haha
 

Mfcalana

Cam Model
Feb 10, 2019
165
163
18
Australia
profiles.myfreecams.com
Twitter Username
@MFCalana
MFC Username
TheWaveDancer
I wonder if that guy is like that in person as well?
Or just online?

Regardless... Wow, just wow. :confused: :speechless:
Probably is. Has to be. But I’m sure he uses social media to be this way with peop’e In real life.


There should be a banner, borrowed concept, reading something like:

Your failure to have a life outside of MFC does not make me your emotional support system.
I can't help but think of the scene from Billy Madison.

“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
He’s ducking back with a different name.

Alana,

What I would like to understand is why do you feel the need to judge me, when truly you haven't taken enough time to seriously get to know me. I truly don't know enough about you to judge and I havent all I know is I see a person with a great smile and personality and everything else about you is not important.

you make me out to be a bad person for wanting to know more about you and having you show me the effort that I give you in wanting to know you. I hate arguing because it doesn't accomplish anything except hurt each other feeling for no reason at all other thank we are selfish about our own feelings and not the other persons.

All I can say Alana, all those words that you have twisted in trying to make less than what I am doesnt help. I am like having friendships with people. As much as you want to believe that I am not a good person, I am! still want to show that I am a friend but I won't my friendship and spend tokens on someone who does not see me, who does see me wanting the friendship, who doesn't want to learn or care about my life but then expects others to care about theirs and there needs, wants, and desires.

Is it so hard to get to know me, because I would love to get past these judgements that you have given me which you feel I am a bad guy. I am not ... you just never tried to get to know me, you efforts were belittle me instead loving me for the person that I am not. I am not your enemy nor am I someone who does not toss friendship around because it tough.

Can we Completely start over.. try to be friends with each other we know in both our heads we are just scratching the surface of our complexities. you are too nice of a person to just stop caring.

Shawn

WHICH QUOTE DO I USE? Before I ban again. 😂 seriously....
 
  • Funny!
Reactions: THE MOLLIE MARIE
Aug 4, 2018
100
146
28
Probably is. Has to be. But I’m sure he uses social media to be this way with peop’e In real life.





He’s ducking back with a different name.

Alana,

What I would like to understand is why do you feel the need to judge me, when truly you haven't taken enough time to seriously get to know me. I truly don't know enough about you to judge and I havent all I know is I see a person with a great smile and personality and everything else about you is not important.

you make me out to be a bad person for wanting to know more about you and having you show me the effort that I give you in wanting to know you. I hate arguing because it doesn't accomplish anything except hurt each other feeling for no reason at all other thank we are selfish about our own feelings and not the other persons.

All I can say Alana, all those words that you have twisted in trying to make less than what I am doesnt help. I am like having friendships with people. As much as you want to believe that I am not a good person, I am! still want to show that I am a friend but I won't my friendship and spend tokens on someone who does not see me, who does see me wanting the friendship, who doesn't want to learn or care about my life but then expects others to care about theirs and there needs, wants, and desires.

Is it so hard to get to know me, because I would love to get past these judgements that you have given me which you feel I am a bad guy. I am not ... you just never tried to get to know me, you efforts were belittle me instead loving me for the person that I am not. I am not your enemy nor am I someone who does not toss friendship around because it tough.

Can we Completely start over.. try to be friends with each other we know in both our heads we are just scratching the surface of our complexities. you are too nice of a person to just stop caring.

Shawn

WHICH QUOTE DO I USE? Before I ban again. 😂 seriously....
I changed my mind. The only thing to do at this point is a good old fashioned throat punch.