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Feeling Kinda Gross

Discussion in 'General Cam Chat' started by AvaSnowSkin, Aug 10, 2017.

  1. AvaSnowSkin

    AvaSnowSkin Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2017
    Messages:
    9
    So I'm new to camming. Single mom here who lost her job and has tried SO hard to find another and use my resources. I'm talking 30+ applications, but I have scarce childcare options, so without someone to watch my kid until I get my first paycheck, I'm kind of screwed. So I started this.

    It's like my 5th day, and I'm getting the hang of things and gaining loyal followers and all that. I'm pulling in money, no problem (not super high amounts but money I'm glad to have).

    Tonight I did a show, and sometimes after a show, I just feel kind of... gross is the only way to put it. I really can't explain the feeling. It's more so when I do shows and am not feeling horny before or during and am just really doing it to make money.

    Any advice, or just how do you pep yourself up on those days?
     
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  2. JickyJuly

    JickyJuly All your thread are belong to me.
    Cam Model

    Joined:
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    If you don't like per minute camming, doing clips might be the way to go. It's also easier time wise. Hope things get better for you!
     
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  3. DJ_Pioneer

    DJ_Pioneer Cool Beans

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    65
    I am not going to pretend that I know what a cam model goes through before going online, but when I started a new job I hated it so much that every Sunday evening when I was showering before I went to bed I used to have a feeling of dread. Then Monday morning came with the bus ride to work and I used to wish that it would take longer so I wouldn't get to work so soon. I get to work and get through the day and it feels a little better because I am one day closer to the weekend. It gets better every day and when I go home on Friday I feel like pretty good. The weekend goes by and is good, but when Sunday comes I am standing there in the shower with the dread again. and the cycle repeats it self and continues to do so for several weeks. Then after maybe 9 weeks of this it starts to get better and it continues to get better for every week that goes by until I don't feel dread standing there in the shower on a Sunday evening.

    There wasn't any better options for me at the time so I just had to keep going to work even though I felt lousy about it. Do your best and hopefully somewhere down the line you start feeling okay or you find some better opportunity. Take pride in the fact that you are doing the best you can to provide for your child or children in case you have more than one, because doing that is something laudable. I have to admit this is not the greatest pep talk, but I sincerely hope it goes well for you.
     
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  4. SaffronBurke

    SaffronBurke All your thread are belong to me.
    Cam Model

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    Try different sites, clips, phone, see what you're most comfortable with. If you feel gross after a certain type of show, you don't have to offer it. Don't feel right masturbating? Domme, do fetishes, try out tease and Non-nude shows. There are so many options in this industry, you can experiment until you see where you fit best.
     
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  5. Luxy Reid

    Luxy Reid All your thread are belong to me.
    Cam Model

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    Nov 11, 2012
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    3,842
    I really like this. Work is work. For the majority of us this is how we will feel with almost any job. At some point if you decide to continue you will just realize that we are camgirls. And this is just what we do, love it or hate it. There are some days still I feel ashamed a bit, not because of the nature of the job anymore, but because I wonder if I belong in another field (like the one I got my fancy degree in). I've chalked it up to the grass will always be greener on the other side. I've had 5 years now to think long and hard about where this guilt comes from and I have no doubt if I became a serious professional in my area of study I'd regret it just as much, if not more, with all the Sunday's for the rest of my life shrouded in dread. At least this way I only dread it if I'm having a bad week :)

    I hope you get to feeling better Ava. Doing normal things helped me when I was new. Walks, being with people outside of sex work, going to a movie, going to school, studying at library, etc. You're going through normal new camgirl emotions. If you do decide to leave, remember you are here forever. There is no stressing or regret that can take this back. No use in letting this consume you. It won't change anything. Move on with your life and hold your chin up high for providing. Good luck!
     
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  6. Ambers Troll

    Ambers Troll OMGWTFBBQ!?!

    Joined:
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    I think in general this, feeling a bit gross might be part of the job sometimes. For most work you take the positives with the negatives and try to look more towards job satisfaction.

    I suspect you are feeling a bit like you are not giving the spender what they deserve when you are not having fun with it? I think it is nice that you feel that way.
    You need not worry, the partner will most likely not sense it and have almost as much fun as when you are enjoying it. Not being into it may well enable you to focus on the customer more, to really listen to them and focus on their needs. I would recommend that you try that, it is about their pleasure after all.
     
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  7. AwesomeKate

    AwesomeKate I'm kind of a big deal.
    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2012
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    I am here to tell you that men do not mind if you fake your arousal. Don't feel guilty about that. Most of them cannot tell a real orgasm from a fake. You still earned the money they have given, even if you are only going through the motions. Don't spend another second worrying about that. Secondly, sex is only sacred if you believe it is. I am not here to tell you what morals you should have. If trading sex for money goes against your value system, then this will never be the job for you. If this is the case, your shame response is trying to tell you to stop. I would listen to it so that you are more in touch with your true self.

    If you evaluate your beliefs and find that sex is NOT sacred to you, then the shame is most likely coming from external, societal expectations. There have been so many powerful people who have denigrated sex work throughout history, it is hard to completely break the chains. It has been drilled into us that we should reserve our sexuality for someone we love and DEFINITELY never put a price tag on sexual acts. It has become quite obvious to me that this sexual shame often emerges in very harmful and dangerous ways among the sexually frustrated. I think sex workers perform a great service to society and would like to see all forms of it made legal and more services easy to obtain. If any of this resonates with you, then maybe you could stick around and try to work through the shame and come out on the other side more confident and happy about selling sex.

    It is still a huge mountain I am trying to climb over. I still get pangs of guilt about what I do. Then I remember that everyone watches porn*. Everyone masturbates*. Everyone wishes they could act on their sexual desires in a healthy, harmonious way. People want to overcome the dogma for their own sanity and well-being. It is very hard though. I wish you luck in figuring it out.

    *Obviously not everyone, but most definitely the majority.
     
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  8. VeronicaChaos

    VeronicaChaos All your thread are belong to me.
    Cam Model

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    Having had a plethora of shitty jobs before I entered the sex industry 9 years ago, I strongly feel that feeling gross from a normal job and feeling gross from sex work are incomparable. Sex is an incredibly personal and intimate thing for most people. To me, the grossness from doing sex stuff I regret feels a bit closer to experiencing someone taking advantage of you sexually than it does regular job woes, even if it was consensual; it has a way of getting under your skin. Now, I'm not saying that everyone feels this way, but there is definitely a difference. I'm also not saying that anyone who feels this way should get another job or anything. It's super easy to find yourself participating in sex acts that make you feel gross afterward when you're new and not sure what your limits are yet. I've let myself get pushed/pushed myself past those limits so many times in my career, and I took those experiences as learning opportunities to find what I am happy doing. I love my career and don't regret any of those experiences, but I'm very glad I didn't sweep any of those feelings under the rug because I thought it was normal to feel gross in this industry. You don't have to, and honestly it's more profitable to not compromise yourself in that way. A lot of girls leave very quickly when they can't learn their limits and make peace with their work.
     
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  9. GenXoxo

    GenXoxo All your thread are belong to me.
    Cam Model

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    This sums up my experiences and feelings perfectly, thanks @VeronicaChaos! I don't think it's the same as "ugh Mondays" and I don't think it's useful to act as if it universally is.
     
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  10. GenXoxo

    GenXoxo All your thread are belong to me.
    Cam Model

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    I realized this might sound glib towards other people's shitty jobs, or like a reaction to the posts shared here, and I didn't mean it to. I had a job where I calculated how many days I'd be able to skip if I threw myself down the stairs or stabbed my hand with a box cutter, similar to like DJ_Pioneer mentioned. So I'm not trying to be dismissive or disagree with those posts!

    I just see a lot of sentiment that sex work is just like every other job, and I think that discounts the emotional and mental aspects of sex that are present for many people. It's my opinion that sex work is fairly unique in that regard, for most.
     
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  11. ForceTen

    ForceTen I'm kind of a big deal.

    Joined:
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    I'm only vaguely familiar with what a person in the sex industry goes through, as I have personally known a few. But, I can understand some of the dreaded feelings of different types of work. Won't try to compare the two, for the reasons others have mentioned.

    Just wanted to say that I wish you all the best, and hope you can find comfort in the words of the other models here.
     
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  12. followthespiders22

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2017
    Messages:
    7
    I'm new aswell and I've been camming just for a couple days, but I think I'm getting the hang of this rather quickly and I've successfully avoided feeling gross afterwards. I think it's best to play it safe, when someone suggests something I'm definitely not doing I go for something similar to this: "Sorry, I'm too shy for that, honey, and you wouldn't want me to look uncomfortable, it's just not best for both of us. I want to show you something genuine, true fun", and at least for me that simultaneously avoids negative comments from users, and it also conveys the message that anything they do get to see, will be the real thing (even if you exaggerate or lie a little about being turned on). You can also offer something similar that you're actually comfortable with and maybe the'll go for it. On the other hand, if someone is suggesting something you're not completely sure about, but you're willing to try it, warn them about this feeling you have: "Hey, that sounds fun and hot but I'm a little shy so I can't guarantee X thing happens, but would you like me to try anyways?" try to sound playful, and they will either decline or accept, but this guarantees that your clients will be caring and kind with you, and I've also found that for some people this shy-thing is actually a turn on. Some users are willing to pay and wait for you to get comfortable, and I think it's a special thing to build confidence and trust with certain users, and it's something that might help you get friends and regulars, because they perceive this connection.

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with setting boundaries and I think it's the best strategy in the long term, you want to be able to actually have fun camming instead of dreading it, even from a purely practical and business perspective. But of course it's also very important for your emotional health.
     
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  13. SaffronBurke

    SaffronBurke All your thread are belong to me.
    Cam Model

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    I would be careful with that, because there are a tiny handful of members who get off on pushing limits and making models uncomfortable. They're an extreme minority, fortunately, but they do exist.
     
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  14. Mintx

    Mintx Awesomesauce
    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2017
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    It's okay to take a day off from camming! You can work on finding other sites to cam on, or try phone sex, or clip making! :D I struggle to get into camming on days I am not feeling exactly sexy, so I work on my Manyvids profile or something like that and add items or edit videos.
     
  15. followthespiders22

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2017
    Messages:
    7
    Thank you, I didn't know about this. If this happens, do you think it would be a good strategy to ignore/block them, I mean if they get too pushy?
     
  16. SaffronBurke

    SaffronBurke All your thread are belong to me.
    Cam Model

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    Absolutely! Never feel bad about blocking someone who makes your cam room unpleasant, that's why we have that ability.
     
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  17. Striker44

    Striker44 Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2017
    Messages:
    22
    I am a member, but I would agree with SaffronBurke. If there's someone who's rude or pushy then "When in doubt, ban". Always remember it's your room and your rules. If a guy doesn't like that he should move on or you should show him the door.

    I will just point out however, that it's easy for a guy to change his name on MFC. I do not know if simply changing the name gets around the ban. I've had model friends say "If I ban him he'll just come back under a different name". So just keep that in mind.
     
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  18. Miss_Lollipop

    Miss_Lollipop CammodelExpress.com
    Cam Model Industry Representative

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  19. SaffronBurke

    SaffronBurke All your thread are belong to me.
    Cam Model

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    If one account is banned, changing the name won't effect that. However, some members have multiple accounts, which may be what those ladies are referring to.
     
  20. Alice_in_Bows

    Alice_in_Bows Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    19
    Hey!

    I'm sorry you've been feeling this way. And anyone else in here feeling it too. All these posts are great advice and introspection. I think every girl/guy cams for their own reasons and to reiterate what's been said by everyone else: what's important is to maintain your mental health, boundaries, and security in your choices. For me, I want to cam because I love myself and I want to be sexy. "I do this for me" kind of thing. It took me a long time to come out of my shell and accept myself--truly accept myself. For me, the "gross" feeling doesn't come from the idea of dreading working, but because of the partners in my past who exploited and used me for that 'sexy' part of me--that intimate side that can feel so loveless when you force it. But once I remember why I want to do the things I want to do, I remind myself that I am safe and that this is my choice. If you treat it like work, it will never be something you can enjoy, I think.

    I know you, Ava, have said you have to do this for the money to support your family while you find another job, but hey! There's a lot of great things that can come from this. It can be SO empowering. You are in control here (unless you want the guys to be in control ;)). The customers you have are an array of different people who can even become your friends.You can explore your sexuality and what you like and don't like. Maybe come out of this stronger, more confident, and more beautiful! You got this. And I send this back at any other lady or gent who is feeling 'gross', insecure, scared, anxious, or anything else.

    Like someone mentioned before, your values are your values and it's up to you how you feel about sex work, but I think we are in a revolutionary period where sexual empowerment of women is slowly becoming the norm. I hope that you can enjoy your time. I stopped being a physical escort in person because I didn't enjoy it. Camming ended up being so much better for me.
     

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