How to Be a Happy Cam Girl

[MojitosJourney]

How to be happy working as a cam model?

The answer: STOP using money as your main motivation for camming.

Wait, what? Are you crazy?
Aren't we here for the tokens?

Well, yes, but here is how using tokens as your main motivation can work against you.

You make tokens, and feel successful and happy.
You make no tokens, you feel shitty, frustrated, and sometimes even depressed.

I don't know how many cam girls I've seen looking pissed off and frustrated on cam because they are not making any tokens. Then, their mood continues the cycle, because few want to tip the angry girl.
Most want to tip the happy girl.

So how do you stop this tokens = happiness cycle?

Find another reason to be there.

AliceBiscuit shares her music.
@Kickaz started as a way to share her passion for intricate body painting art.
Many great models find meaning in giving and receiving love.
SummerHart loves having scintillating, intellectual conversation with people.
Olivia lives for “avant-garde” performance art.
Some models are extremely happy when playing & talking about video games.
Many girls just want to connect with people and make friends.
Some women genuinely LOVE sex and kink and are there for that!

The thing all these happy cam girls have in common is that tokens are NOT the main thing making them happy. So they don’t ride the rollercoaster ride of unhappiness when the tokens aren’t flowing at this exact moment. They stay happy because they are doing work they care about… and this happiness gives them energy to spend a longer time on cam, and put more effort into their shows. This can make them successful.

An important note is that whatever you are sharing on cam, attracts the same energy.

If you're giving love... you get it back, more often than not. Check out @Miqote's comments section in her MFC profile for an example of this. It's an outpouring of love! She is so naturally caring, that people respond by giving love back to her. If she was naturally kinky, people would respond by being kinky with her! Instead, the kinky girls have a chat room filled with kinky talk and that makes their kinky hearts insanely happy. The music loving girls have their room filled with appreciation for music and that makes them over the moon. We attract what we are. THEREFORE: If you're just there for tokens then you end up simply attracting an exchange of power : their money for your body. This exchange is AWESOME if you're in it for your passion for sex, but if you are more in it for the tokens, you're bound to end up feeling either like you're using others for their money or feeling used for your body, or both. I don't know about you, but I decided I needed to stop doing things that way because it made me depressed!

Everyone has something that means something to them. What do you find meaning and enjoyment in that you would do for -free-? So that on the no-tokens days you will still be happy? It might take some soul-searching, but FIND it, and see if you can work it into your cam show.

Ideas on how to find your 'thing':
1. Think about what your favourite models are doing in their rooms.
2. Think about what you do in your spare time. What do you talk about the most? Is it sex, video games, anime, music, animals, art, food?
3. Write down ten things you'd be happy doing every single day for the next 5 years. Circle the ones you think would work best on cam.

I still haven’t figured out to work my “thing” yet into my cam shows (using my words to help empower others), but I know that from now on, my show is powered by love and not tokens. Love is a good reason enough for me.

LOVE ALWAYS,
Mojito
Cam Girl on MFC and Inspirational Writer

[Note : The approach in this article may simply work best on myfreecams, and the models referenced are all from MFC.]

 

[SatanJonez]

This is awesome & very positive, but camming is not always what you put into it. I have seen amazing models trying to get a room started & have to log off because of not just a lack of token flow, but a total lack of anyone talking or interacting while they were giving their all. So I think you are absolutely right except add one thing: do not force yourself to carry on when you're about to flip out on the room even IF you are doing the things you listed. If you need a breather, log off for the day or log off, do something you love (video games, knitting, watch an episode of that show you dig, etc) & try again later. It saves on sanity in my experience & as with the point of your thread a happy cam girl is a cam girl who is going to attract people to her room.

 

[MojitosJourney]

This is awesome & very positive, but camming is not always what you put into it. I have seen amazing models trying to get a room started & have to log off because of not just a lack of token flow, but a total lack of anyone talking or interacting while they were giving their all. So I think you are absolutely right except add one thing: do not force yourself to carry on when you're about to flip out on the room even IF you are doing the things you listed. If you need a breather, log off for the day or log off, do something you love (video games, knitting, watch an episode of that show you dig, etc) & try again later. It saves on sanity in my experience & as with the point of your thread a happy cam girl is a cam girl who is going to attract people to her room.

Hey SatanJonez!

I'm glad you said this, and I agree it's important to take a breather if you're in a negative headspace. I just took a one week break and I'm so glad I did!

Here's some more clarity I've come to, to reach for on the slow nights.

Sometimes, you can create something really amazing to share with the world, and no one shows up to partake. Whether it's a cam show, or a math equation, or an amusement park... there's some amazing things out there, but the people that will value them just haven't found them yet.

However: Sometimes, if you wait long enough, with an open mind, those people might find you.
But if you get frustrated, day after day, that there is no one there, and eventually have to give up entirely out of frustration... people won't be able to find you because you're not there anymore.

Watch this video : Caine's Arcade.
It's about a little boy named Caine that built an arcade out of paper boxes. Every day he waited and waited and waited for someone to come play in his arcade, and no one came. But why this story is special is that he didn't get frustrated and rip down the arcade because it was un-played on.
He just kept waiting.
Until something amazing happened (watch the video).

I'm not saying it's easy to -not- be frustrated when shit isn't working on cam. I personally know what that frustration feels like. I know how it feels to be angry on cam - and I know it's 100% necessary to log out when you're at that point.

But I do believe it's within our power to let go of our attachments to how the night goes. And relax, and wait, and keep going, like Caine.
That's when I believe magic can happen.

 

[Auri Amos]

I totally needed to read this. So from the bottom of my heart thank you. I'm a brand new cam girl and I'm still trying to get the hang of things. Most days it is easy to get discouraged because they aren't the most successful. I love the examples you chose because they are all girls who I think many look up to. All you need to do is find what you love to do and the tips will come in. I have asked myself it maybe the job isn't for me, but then there are the days when I have a blast and the guys in the room have a blast with me. Those are the days that make it so worth it and motivate me to just keep trying even if it might be scary at times to put myself out there.

Thanks again.

 

[SexyStacia]

Hey SatanJonez!

I'm glad you said this, and I agree it's important to take a breather if you're in a negative headspace. I just took a one week break and I'm so glad I did!

Here's some more clarity I've come to, to reach for on the slow nights.

Sometimes, you can create something really amazing to share with the world, and no one shows up to partake. Whether it's a cam show, or a math equation, or an amusement park... there's some amazing things out there, but the people that will value them just haven't found them yet.

However: Sometimes, if you wait long enough, with an open mind, those people might find you.
But if you get frustrated, day after day, that there is no one there, and eventually have to give up entirely out of frustration... people won't be able to find you because you're not there anymore.

Watch this video : Caine's Arcade.
It's about a little boy named Caine that built an arcade out of paper boxes. Every day he waited and waited and waited for someone to come play in his arcade, and no one came. But why this story is special is that he didn't get frustrated and rip down the arcade because it was un-played on.
He just kept waiting.
Until something amazing happened (watch the video).

I'm not saying it's easy to -not- be frustrated when shit isn't working on cam. I personally know what that frustration feels like. I know how it feels to be angry on cam - and I know it's 100% necessary to log out when you're at that point.

But I do believe it's within our power to let go of our attachments to how the night goes. And relax, and wait, and keep going, like Caine.
That's when I believe magic can happen.

The Caine's Arcade video totally made me tear up....

...erm I mean my allergies.

The advice in this thread is great! I'm still a newbie and I have been busting my ass to have a lively cam room and gain regulars. I have had a few days that I felt my hard work really payed off and I met goals and made more regs, but I have had a lot more days that did not go so well. I am goofy/smiley/fun. I dance a lot, play games, shake my ass, tease, play more games, promote myself, talk to members, play more games, .....the list goes on and that does not even include all of the work I do off cam (getting supplies, research, planning, social media, picture/profile editing....). I make sure I am high energy (good mood) and have good makeup/hair/outfit any time I am on camera. I change up topics and games and outfits. I offer deals. I make tkn amounts for games low to encourage new tippers. I have had a handful of AWESOME days, but more than not I am giving everything I have and still facing a dead room.

Whenever I have a bad day I make sure to find something positive in it. Instead of thinking 'Fuck I worked 5 hours and made 400tkns', I'll think about the fact that I made a new highrolling regular, or one of my games was a hit, or I learned how to not trip over my bed while dancing....or maybe I handled a situation badly and if it happens again I will be much more prepared. I have learned so much from making mistakes. Sometimes I think of this as a 'learning period' so that I worry less about $$$ and more about becoming a better camgirl. I like to think I'm investing in my future.

I try not to think about tkns when I'm on cam and I do give off good energy. I am still looking for my 'thing' - something that sets me apart from other cam girls. I have a very bubbly personality and a sexy look, but I feel like I need something more. I also have a very low camscore so not too much traffic. The guys who are repeat customers think I'm the shit, but I feel like I'm playing a waiting game to get more popular on MFC.

I had a dead, dead room today. Only tipper was one regular and people were barely talking. Like weirdly dead. Logged off and didn't do show, gonna take a few days to myself and come back to MFC fresh and happy!

 

[Helena73]

I don't even feel weird when I have a bad day for tips. I can usually find nice people to talk to and I figure that if I can keep a good conversation up every day, something good is bound to happen

 

[AmberCutie]

I tweeted this thread and a couple cam girls got super defensive about it. Strange shit.

Very sweet and inspiring topic. Ignoring crazies who tried to turn this into some sort of pity issue for girls who hate their jobs (where I suggested anyone who hates something should quit doing it).

 

[Jillybean]

I totally agree with Amber! Very awesome and sweet thread!

 

[Roger]

Great topic / advice! I actually think I will try your "Ideas on how to find your 'thing'" in my own personal life / career.

It seems that you enjoy trying to inspire others. Perhaps being a "life coach" could be one of your "things." I say this half jokingly, but I recently read an article about a woman offering her services "as a mom." Not to be someone's maid or cook, but to provide "motherly" advice and basically be a life coach at an hourly rate.

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/rent-mom-real-deal-adults-needing-mother-figure/story?id=34965502

I suppose the potential downside to this is that this line of work can be very emotionally draining.

 

[MojitosJourney]

I tweeted this thread and a couple cam girls got super defensive about it. Strange shit.

Very sweet and inspiring topic. Ignoring crazies who tried to turn this into some sort of pity issue for girls who hate their jobs (where I suggested anyone who hates something should quit doing it).

Aw thank you Amber! I just checked out those succession of negative tweets haha. I am not really sure what happened there.

Great topic / advice! I actually think I will try your "Ideas on how to find your 'thing'" in my own personal life / career.

It seems that you enjoy trying to inspire others. Perhaps being a "life coach" could be one of your "things." .

Roger, you're amazing. I was actually thinking about that the other day, and how I could work that into my cam show.
There is a quote that says cam girls are like therapists, but naked. I'd like to build on that.
Last week, I added "5 minute therapy session" to my tip menu haha. "You talk, I listen. My attention is primarily yours."

I had a dead, dead room today. Only tipper was one regular and people were barely talking. Like weirdly dead. Logged off and didn't do show, gonna take a few days to myself and come back to MFC fresh and happy!

Thanks for the positive feedback, you are sweet! Your story sounds a lot like mine - I'm pretty new too. There's that period when the "new girl status" is gone but you're trying to build regulars with a new-girl level camscore. It can be tough. From what I understand though, even the popular girls who have a good base of regulars and a higher placement in the site have nights like those, so we all need to able to "shake it off"... because those nights will always exist. More of my thoughts on that:
https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/cam-girls-you-are-enough-public-post.21825/

Have an awesome couple of days off

 

[AmberCutie]

I am not really sure what happened there.

It all makes sense now, some of them are taking the post to mean we are "hobby cam girls" (their term, not mine) because the article says "don't cam for the money". The point was obviously missed by those who took it in this way.

Of course we are still in this as a job to make money. But looking at it from a different perspective, for those girls who may be struggling to find success and aren't enjoying their time on cam, can be helpful on the path to make that money. Finding inspiration and fun in a job can make a big difference.

That's the point that's lost on some.

 

[QuietLurker69]

As a member seeing a girl with a permanent putty face or who obviously would rather be doing something else. Is such a turnoff, and usually I leaving these rooms.

So I would agree tokens are important, but that comes with things like having a positive attitude and being open.

 

[SexyStacia]

https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/cam-girls-you-are-enough-public-post.21825/[/URL]

Have an awesome couple of days off

Haha if only days off didn't mean I have to work at my real life job!

Thanks for the kind words. I totally creeped on your blog and twitter.

 

[swagger]

Great post Mojito! Holy Moly, that Caine's Arcade vid was fantastic. Too often on social media I see these scripted feel good vids, it was super refreshing to see one that was generally real and heartwarming, got me all misted up, thanks!

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

Finding ways to create joy is so important. Even if you're a poor, marginalized sex worker, with no other options (re the tweets) creating joy.. in some way or other will help you get through it.

Nurturing hope, creativity and passion - wherever you find yourself in life is always going to be beneficial.

(basically- great post. Angry cammodels missed the point)

 

[Kotik29]

It all makes sense now, some of them are taking the post to mean we are "hobby cam girls" (their term, not mine) because the article says "don't cam for the money". The point was obviously missed by those who took it in this way.

Of course we are still in this as a job to make money. But looking at it from a different perspective, for those girls who may be struggling to find success and aren't enjoying their time on cam, can be helpful on the path to make that money. Finding inspiration and fun in a job can make a big difference.

That's the point that's lost on some.

I THINK I tweeted this...I'm new at twitter.

http://www.diygenius.com/why-you-need-intrinsic-motivation-to-be-happy-and-successful/

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14444/why-you-win-when-you-do-what-you-love.html

 

[BrieLovexo]

I loved this post ^_^ I'm a firm believer on the law of attraction, and it's always nice to be reminded to apply it to my camming mind set. "We attract what we are !"

 

[MojitosJourney]

I loved this post ^_^ I'm a firm believer on the law of attraction, and it's always nice to be reminded to apply it to my camming mind set. "We attract what we are !"

Thanks Brie - I believe in it too

 

[Sansa]

I have to disagree. There are some members out there who are super kind and contribute no matter what, but for everyone one of them, there are fifty others who won't tip at all no matter how entertaining you are. Can't say how many times someone has tipped 1000 tokens because they liked my company and nerdy conversation and then someone immediately after who's never tipped who gets pissed because I won't immediately get nude because of it. C'est la vie.

 

[MojitosJourney]

I have to disagree. There are some members out there who are super kind and contribute no matter what, but for everyone one of them, there are fifty others who won't tip at all no matter how entertaining you are. Can't say how many times someone has tipped 1000 tokens because they liked my company and nerdy conversation and then someone immediately after who's never tipped who gets pissed because I won't immediately get nude because of it. C'est la vie.

Well, yeah! There's assholes out there and in this job, we're gonna meet every single one of them.

My intention of this post is to say that by being your authentic self on cam may attract the kind of people who will truly value you. Ie; that guy who likes your nerdy conversation.

I don't mean there won't be jerks, or... large hoards of jerks. I've yet to find a way around that.

 

[BrieLovexo]

I have to disagree. There are some members out there who are super kind and contribute no matter what, but for everyone one of them, there are fifty others who won't tip at all no matter how entertaining you are. Can't say how many times someone has tipped 1000 tokens because they liked my company and nerdy conversation and then someone immediately after who's never tipped who gets pissed because I won't immediately get nude because of it. C'est la vie.

I sometimes never know what to do in these situations... Whenever someone drops a big tip for just enjoying my company/conversation, I sort of freeze up because I feel other members might not want to tip me after seeing that I just simply thanked them for it.

 

[MS_KitKat]

I see it in the same way of working in a restaurant. There will always be tables that share and spend no money or don't tip. On the other end there will be tables that buy a few bottles. You can't always control you sits in your section but you can control the atmosphere and how things progress. It's your room have fun with it and both sides will flock to you.

 

[MojitosJourney]

I see it in the same way of working in a restaurant. There will always be tables that share and spend no money or don't tip. On the other end there will be tables that buy a few bottles. You can't always control you sits in your section but you can control the atmosphere and how things progress. It's your room have fun with it and both sides will flock to you.

That is an awesome analogy.

 

[MojitosJourney]

Hi! I have an update on how this concept of making yourself happy on cam has developed for me (on myfreecams.)

I couldn't really come up with some magical thing that I love doing that others would want to watch (like playing the piano) but I've realized that we all have things we like / love to do and we are already doing them in our day to day lives, so why not do them on cam?

More often, I think we need to stop trying to entertain the viewers in free chat, and just entertain ourselves and let them benefit from it. Why? Because if we are not getting tipped and giving them free entertainment that is focused at their wants, we will feel resentful and unhappy. You're not going to get tipped amazingly every day, it's an ebb and flow of good days and bad days, so this approach minimizes the hurt feels.

What I have been doing on cam is exactly what I would do at my house off cam:

- I cook (a lot) - I prep a whole bunch of healthy meals for myself (not cookies for them hahaha, it's aaaaaall for me) and then I have three days of ready to eat healthy homecooked food in the fridge- and I did it all while technically working!
- I work out. I do yoga, and I just bought an elliptical and weights and am gonna try letting them watch me sweat haha.
- I do crafts. This isn't a hugely popular show but some of my happiest times on cam have been when I am sitting in my PJs crafting random things out of popsicle sticks.
- I dance to my favorite songs
- I try on costumes and outfits (love dressing up.)
- I tan in the backyard (when possible, I live in Canada.)
- I watch other cam girls with them on my big screen TV (an expensive activity I try to limit as I feel like I need to tip the models to ask for their permission if I am doing this.)
- And more.

How I incorporate this into a cam show:

Here's my formula.
A-1 activity I like doing
+ B -1 game I have created that they can play to encourage tipping & make things more fun.
+ C Tip Menu
+ D Optional Countdown to something sexual.

Example:
A) Cooking Show + B) Token Keno (Tip one of the following 15 numbers, 3 of the numbers are winning numbers and you will get a sexy prize!) + C) Tip X amount to see my boobs etc D) X token amount until I get in the shower!

 

[LilPixy]

I want to say thank you so much for this thread. I'm getting back to camming after a long break (almost two years since I've worked as cam girl full time) and I'm worring so much about possible income drop, paying taxes on my own again, etc. After reading couple of threads I feel lot of better. I mean, there're slow days that make you question everything you do but you cannot let them make you give up.

*off topic*

Well, yeah! There's assholes out there and in this job, we're gonna meet every single one of them

Once at my vanilla job (drive thru) I had a pretty bad shift - some dude got out of his car and was trying to break a window, screaming that I was a whore. After that I think I can handle every asshole in the world

 

[MojitosJourney]

I want to say thank you so much for this thread. I'm getting back to camming after a long break (almost two years since I've worked as cam girl full time) and I'm worring so much about possible income drop, paying taxes on my own again, etc. After reading couple of threads I feel lot of better. I mean, there're slow days that make you question everything you do but you cannot let them make you give up.

*off topic*

Once at my vanilla job (drive thru) I had a pretty bad shift - some dude got out of his car and was trying to break a window, screaming that I was a whore. After that I think I can handle every asshole in the world

Thanks Blanx! Also... one thing I've learned since writing this thread, is that if it isn't working on one cam site, try another. MFC ended up not being my style, but I have been successful on Streamate. And I'm exploring other revenue streams on the side too, using MyGirlFund, going to make a clip site, etc.

As for what happened to you at the drive thru - suck that happened! A totally classic example that we can have those kind of experiences in any customer service job, be it in the adult industry or not. I sure met a lot of assholes when I was waitressing!

 

[DonaDiabla]

I have a different approach to camming overall. Camming is about power, control, money, and creativity for me. Personally, I like being a non-nude cam model because I enjoy the challenge. I am happy as a cam model and I meet my camming goals most weeks. Plus, it is like my 5th adult job; I enjoy it but it is not my own adult industry job. I just like having a well-rounded adult entertainment career. So, I will do everything from being a pso to cam model because I want a great career.

 

[MojitosJourney]

I still haven’t figured out to work my “thing” yet into my cam shows (using my words to help empower others), but I know that from now on, my show is powered by love and not tokens. Love is a good reason enough for me.

I just re-read this article I wrote 1.5 years ago and I can't believe I never saw what my thing on cam could have been. It could have been what I said here: using my words to empower others. I was really focused on looking sexy and appealing that I forgot my OWN message that I wrote here. I most definitely could have had a talk show style show on myfreecams where I mainly spoke about things from the heart, messages that matter to me, in the hopes that hearing my words may empower others.

Wow, total blind spot. Sometimes it is so much easier to see others paths and struggles than it is to see your own!
Maybe I wouldn't be burned out on camming now, had I done that, rather than gone the sexy route.

Cam models - stay true to yourselves! In the long run, money will flow best when you're in it for you. If you cam in a way that pleases the viewers, but doesn't please you, it can steal your energy, your mojo, your magic. You may just wake up one day and never be able to get online again anytime soon. This is a creative field and you can make your time on cam what you want it to be.

 

[QueenVeee]

A-1 activity I like doing
+ B -1 game I have created that they can play to encourage tipping & make things more fun.
+ C Tip Menu
+ D Optional Countdown to something sexual.

Thank you all for these advices, they are really useful for me specially as a new model (3 months). I still haven't found the A thing but I'm going to try drawing today.
Wish me luck

 

[MojitosJourney]

Thank you all for these advices, they are really useful for me specially as a new model (3 months). I still haven't found the A thing but I'm going to try drawing today.
Wish me luck

Good luck Queen! Drawing sounds awesome. PM me if you need anything!