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I made a major mistake.....

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May 24, 2019
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About a year ago I tried camming and sold nude pictures/videos of myself and started stripping I got kicked out and had nowhere to go and no money and desperate for money I unfortunately found I had a knack for the adult industry. I did several nude photo shoots and was blinded by the money. While I was dancing I honestly liked it most of the time it was the first time in my life (grew up dirt poor) I had tons of cash, my own place, a car, nice clothes make up went shopping every day went on expensive trips I stupidly thought I had it all figured out Now a year later after coming to my senses I quit everything "adult" related and to my horror family members of mine discovered my lewd behavior my family still loves me all the same and is glad to see me on the right path but daily I am so consumed by guilt and aniexty I can barley go on Ive even considered changing my name and moving I live in a very small, country town and its no secret who I am and what Ive done Ive accepted my mistakes attemped to move on but it haunts me every day even keeps me up at night and brings me to tears often I dont know what I was thinking If anyone has any advice or guidance id really appreciate it.
 
Nov 22, 2017
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If you have persistent feelings of guilt and/or shame over past events and it overly has a negative impact on your daily quality of life, you may want to consider talking to a therapist. It's not that you did anything wrong or that you made a mistake, those aren't what you can focus on since you can't undo the past, it's more about you struggling with emotions now, today, and those emotions are what need attention. Therapy might help you find a place for those emotions and help you have some self-compassion. I wish you all the best moving forward and hope you'll find a measure of peace and self-acceptance.
 

ameliababyxo

Cam Model
Jun 19, 2018
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I agree with the above!

If you’re looking to read more about adult work and become more comfortable with your history of involvement, then it could be helpful to spend time here seeing all these ladies comfortable and happy doing what we do.

But if you’re strongly morally against adult work and you’re trying to move on and stop dwelling on your history, then a forum for cam models and their fans probably isn’t going to be good for that.
I don’t want that to come across as hostile, obviously your very welcome on this forum.

Regardless, I absolutely also recommend therapy, it seems like you would benefit from being able to work through your feelings on this with a professional.
 

AudriTwo

Cam Model
Jul 25, 2014
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I'm so sorry you are going through these emotions.

I just want to let you know you have nothing guilty to feel about. You made the conscious adult decision to cam during a tough time. You needed money, and you did what you felt was the best. I'm sorry if you felt uncomfortable performing during your period in it. But you shouldn't made to feel guilty by other people unable to handle it. I know how you feel with your family finding out about your adult entertainment job and being from a small town.

Please speak to a threapist. I also suggest staying FAAAR FAAAAAR away from any religious based therapy. Those assholes will make you feel guilty for just trying to survive that they don't approve of. Even if they say they won't bring their bias in, they do. @Miss_Lollipop suggested a sexwork positive therapy thing in a thread awhile back. I don't have the time to look through her posts to find it. Sorry.

Also another good type of therapist to talk to is LGBTQ friendly. The last thing you need is to feel judged and LGBTQ therapists are usually familiar with the world of sexwork.
 

ameliababyxo

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Jun 19, 2018
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Yes definitely no Christian counseling or anything.

Even if you are religious, for a topic this delicate I wouldn’t recommend a religious counselor.

I promise you all they will do is tell you it’s a sin and pray with you. I grew up in a very conservative Christian home and I’ve been through Christian counseling and it’s BS. Not saying the religion is BS, that’s to each their own, but it’s not actual counseling of any kind.

There’s no shame in getting help, honestly I think that everyone would benefit from some therapy even if they don’t feel the need.
 
Nov 22, 2017
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Please speak to a threapist. I also suggest staying FAAAR FAAAAAR away from any religious based therapy. Those assholes will make you feel guilty for just trying to survive that they don't approve of. Even if they say they won't bring their bias in, they do. @Miss_Lollipop suggested a sexwork positive therapy thing in a thread awhile back.

I believe it was https://pineapplesupport.com/.
 

AudriTwo

Cam Model
Jul 25, 2014
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So glad you aren't feeling miserable anymore op. It's always nice to remember you aren't alone and you have support. Sex work can be isolating, even when you quit. Because people don't understand unless you are in it.

Know anytime you feel like you need people to vent or express to without judging you on your choices, we are here. Listening, giving advice, support, or just a place the throw away your thoughts. I do think it's still important to see a therapist. It is nearly impossible to stop caring what your family thinks, but therapy will help you towards acceptance more and help create better coping mechanisms. I used to cry and be super overwhelmed probably on the hour before I went to therapy to help with my parents behavior towards me, because it was damaging. I'm not perfect by any means, but it has helped a lot.

More hugs. Sending all the positive vibes and happy experiences your way! :h:
 
Nov 12, 2017
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I'm glad you're feeling better! A lot of intelligent, very nice women and men (and friends beyond the binary) choose to do some form of sex work, and it's no reason to be ashamed, in and of itself :h: You got this!


This, this and more this!
I have talked with a lot of models, and they are (for the majority it seems) very intelligent, educated women. Some have come into it due to lack of other job opportunities, but soon learn how lucrative it is so use their brain and do very well in the role.

Those people who are uneducated about cam models, ar the ones that will try to shame you. These are the people who don't have the capacity to try or want to understand just how much money CAN be involved in playing a role AND having fun yourself at the same time. People need to open their minds and not just think it's dumb women that do this, and I think that's what people do think. I'd sure love to be a top earning cam model!
 
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