I'm really offended by that!

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VeronicaChaos

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Just kidding. :lol: But in all seriousness, I want to talk about PC culture. It seems to me that people are just looking for a reason to get offended and I think it's really getting in the way of social progress. Or people take it personally when something they read/hear offends them, and seem to think that they should just never get offended, ever.

I don't see what's so wrong with being offended sometimes. It allows you an opportunity to reexamine your thoughts and feelings. It also gives you an opportunity to practice the great skill of being able to brush off things that bother you. It's impossible to live your life never being offended by things, or bothered by things, and I can't understand for the life of me why people haven't just accepted that and move on to the bigger issues. It seems like EVERY issue turns into a "this offends me!" movement, where it inevitably dies because everyone gets offended by different things and everyone wants to practice their freedom of speech/expression.

Can we just step back for a moment? Maybe when something/someone offends you, ask yourself the intentions of whatever it is? I've noticed that the majority of the time it's not to hurt anyone. I think that's pretty awesome.

Also, I think we're becoming a society of giant pussies who can't handle getting their feathers ruffled in the slightest bit. That's bullshit. We're goddamn human beings. We have the capacity for extreme intelligence, reasoning skills, and compassion. We're also adaptable as shit. We can and will handle anything.

So can we just stop acting like we can't?
 

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There was a discussion on some NPR show recently about "trigger warnings" and how overused they're becoming. They were saying that everyone is offended by something, and increasingly, trigger warnings are being put at the beginning of pretty much everything nowadays. I see how sometimes a trigger warning is a good idea, like if someone might have a serious anxiety attack due to a mention of xyz, that person can choose to tune out or not consume that media right then. But using them extensively also just makes it too easy to just not confront anything potentially disturbing ever and never go through that examination and discussion process.
 

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Fay_Galore said:
:hello2: I have a dumb question; what's a PC culture?
Politically Correct. It means not saying anything that might possibly offend anyone in the least way because heaven forbid that might make someone somewhere out in the world upset.
 
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Fay_Galore said:
:hello2: I have a dumb question; what's a PC culture?

To pick a random :lol: example people trying to ban the practice of Dutch people celebrating Christmas with character that appear in black-face, because it might offend black people in other countries or even other continents.
 
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The term "politically correct" has a history. At one time it was used to mock people who were extremely devoted to upholding Stalinist dogma.

People who use the term are often right-wing hypocrites. They are happy to ban books they consider indecent, deny students the right to learn about evolution, refuse the right to marry to homosexuals and women the right to choose what to do with their bodies, but are outraged when others are critical of their reactionary stances on such matters.

As with anything, you have to choose your battles, and some people are outraged at silly things like scientists wearing goofy shirts with drawings of women in lingerie.
 
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JerryBoBerry said:
Fay_Galore said:
:hello2: I have a dumb question; what's a PC culture?
Politically Correct. It means not saying anything that might possibly offend anyone in the least way because heaven forbid that might make someone somewhere out in the world upset.
Like the way some parts of the world no longer refer to Christmas as Christmas (it's just "the holidays") because they believe that it excludes other religions. Or how some people want to get rid of zwarte piet because they believe it's offensive to black people. Or how certain words and terminology are frowned upon. Like using the word "retarded" to describe anything other than someone with a mental handicap.

The biggest one for me relates to the transgender community. It's a literary minefield, and so easy to use the wrong term and offend someone. And I don't want to offend anybody and am happy to use whatever term to describe someone they wish to be described with, but when you have so many different terms used to describe very similar situations, it's easy to fuck up. You have transgender vs transsexual, gender identity being a different thing to gender expression, genderqueer being different to gender non-conformist, the term "queer" being an identifier for some people and a slur for others, shortened terms such as "trans" and "transgenders" being viewed as offensive by some people but not others, different terms for transgender men and women, different terms for pre-op and post-op transsexuals... and I've probably got something wrong in amongst that lot :?
 

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mynameisbob84 said:
The biggest one for me relates to the transgender community. It's a literary minefield, and so easy to use the wrong term and offend someone. And I don't want to offend anybody and am happy to use whatever term to describe someone they wish to be described with, but when you have so many different terms used to describe very similar situations, it's easy to fuck up. You have transgender vs transsexual, gender identity being a different thing to gender expression, genderqueer being different to gender non-conformist, the term "queer" being an identifier for some people and a slur for others, shortened terms such as "trans" and "transgenders" being viewed as offensive by some people but not others, different terms for transgender men and women, different terms for pre-op and post-op transsexuals... and I've probably got something wrong in amongst that lot :?
And, depending on who you talk to they all have different feelings on each of the words. I've just decided to avoid the topic all together. If I can't tell if you're a man/woman/trans/alien, I'll just wait until you bring it up and try not to use too many pronouns.
 

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WillowJames said:
There was a discussion on some NPR show recently about "trigger warnings" and how overused they're becoming. They were saying that everyone is offended by something, and increasingly, trigger warnings are being put at the beginning of pretty much everything nowadays. I see how sometimes a trigger warning is a good idea, like if someone might have a serious anxiety attack due to a mention of xyz, that person can choose to tune out or not consume that media right then. But using them extensively also just makes it too easy to just not confront anything potentially disturbing ever and never go through that examination and discussion process.
I'd always understood that the point of a trigger warning was to alert people whose PTSD might be triggered by discussing something, like physical or sexual assault that they may want to, y'know, not read something that gets really in-depth in the subject matter. As an abuse survivor myself, I appreciate that use. PTSD is a weird thing and it's nice to get a heads-up that something might put you in a bad spiral. But I see it used for just about anything that could just bother people in general, and that's kinda over-doing it.

On the note of being offended by things people say, I'm kinda on the fence with this. On the one hand, we shouldn't let everything get under our skin, but, on the other hand, things like body-shaming and purposely misgendering someone are behaviors that are unacceptable, yet still prevalent in our society. There's a fine line that we all have to figure out about where the line is, and whether you speak up or not. In most potentially offensive situations, you have two types of people - the one who knows what they're doing is fucked up and is doing it to rile people up, and the person who doesn't know and can be educated that they're being hurtful. It's sometimes clear which you're engaging with, but not always.
 
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VeronicaChaos said:
Can we just step back for a moment? Maybe when something/someone offends you, ask yourself the intentions of whatever it is? I've noticed that the majority of the time it's not to hurt anyone. I think that's pretty awesome.
Other than context, a lot rests on where a person's values are that'll likely take him/her on their PC crusade.

As a rather unique example...

There's a youtube vid that entailed a 2 second shot of the American flag falling to the floor. In the comment section, one person stated how the flag should be "properly laid to rest" and went on how it was brazenly disrespectful to simply drop it to the floor. Every other person leaving a comment had their eyes rolling, but the lone commenter was threatening to report the channel.

But really, it's a pick-&-choose your battles thing when it comes to who thinks whatever as offensive. The offensive spectrum can get purdy darn wide.
 

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VeronicaChaos said:
We have the capacity for extreme intelligence, reasoning skills, and compassion. We're also adaptable as shit. We can and will handle anything.

So can we just stop acting like we can't?
I think this is the root of the problem. There are more and more people who, to be blunt, are just too fucking stupid to reason anything out on their own. I'm not talking about most of the people on this forum. Just in general out there.

Just this morning I read on a different forum an argument about how many days in a week there were. It was quite heated because some people thought by working out every other day there were 8 days in the week. If you want to read it in full, start at post #6... Mind numbing stupidity
It's a little depressing to think there people out there that stupid.

We see articles about dumb people like that all the time. Usually we laugh because we can't believe there's that level of dumb in the world. But the sad thing is it's happening all the time.

The PC culture works very akin to the way textbooks are made now for schools. History books, for example, use to get a lot of people complaining because something in the book offended. So what the book publishers did is form committee's to review the books before they printed them. Someone on the committee was offended by some paragraph, it was deleted. The result was a slimmed down, sanitized parody of history that doesn't teach as much as it use to. I have a collection of old school books (especially math) from 1930's and prior. The differences are startling. What use to be pages devoted to subjects now are maybe a blurb if they are included at all.

We like to chuckle about how much better our educational system is today since long ago many students just stopped going after 6th or 8th grades. But if you look at the books they were learning from they were doing more complex math than 12 graders today. And it's all too common to read news stories today about things like 80% of New York graduating high school students not being able to read sufficiently to even start college.

Whenever I think of PC culture I simply picture a very large committee trying to force the rest of the world to do things their way. Only the way they do things is ruled by the most stupid among them.

Yes, as you can tell, I am very much against PC bullshit.
 

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i feel like a lot of the time, people get confused about the difference between "getting offended" and "calmly pointing out that something is offensive." 99% of the time when i point offensive stuff out i'm not angry, i just want them to know that what they're doing is hurtful to a certain group of people, or whatever. (of course, if someone's obviously trying really hard to offend people, i just roll my eyes and move on!)
the "step back and think about this" approach goes for both parties, i think. if someone calls me out, i try to step away from my instant reaction of "ohgodohgodohgod someone maybe doesn't like me! QUICK, get defensive!" and actually think about it. if you still disagree with them after that then okay, but it's important to at least think about it. remember, too, that the person calling you out is usually nervous as fuck about it and wouldn't say it if they didn't think it was important (if it's someone you know, at least). i actually really appreciate being called out because of that and because i usually don't intend to be offensive. if i'm hurting someone i want to know.

on the topic of trigger warnings: i don't have a problem putting warnings on stuff. it takes 2 seconds. why do people get so upset about something that takes almost no time and makes other people feel safer? i mean, you don't have to put warnings on everything if you don't want to, but i also don't see the point in getting mad that some people do.
i don't think they necessarily need to be just for ptsd, either. for example, i used to cut myself. i usually don't even think about cutting anymore, but when i see a picture of a bleeding cut, or people talking about harming themselves, i start to think about it again. i don't expect everyone to put trigger warnings on shit for me, but they also need to be okay with the fact that if they don't, i'm probably going to unfollow/mute/whatever. my safety comes first.
and who cares if people are muting stuff because it makes them uncomfortable? this is the internet. we can pick and choose what we want to see. that's what's so cool about the internet. it's not real life.

ALSO because i always have to butt in when it comes to trans stuff :lol: :
it's really simple!
if you're cis, say "transgender woman/man/person" or "trans woman/man/person"
don't say "a transgender" (transgender is an adjective, not a noun) "transwoman/man" (you wouldn't say blackman or oldperson) "trans*" (the * is just unnecessary)
don't bother with "transsexual" unless for some reason you need to specifically state that they have transitioned in some way
the umbrella term for non-binary people is "non-binary" and not "genderqueer" (a lot of non-binary people even mess this one up so don't feel bad)
and it's okay to ask someone's pronouns! usually the only reason someone would get offended when you ask for pronouns is b/c they're cis and "how DARE you think i might be trans" which is hella transphobic so fuck them :lol:
 

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Veronica, I'll have you know that I am extremely offended by this thread! How rude! *stomps off*
 

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Rose said:
Veronica, I'll have you know that I am extremely offended by this thread! How rude! *stomps off*
I know right?! *Stomps off right behind Rose, with up turned nose*
 

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I just remembered something that is totally relevant here!

When I first started on Tumblr last summer/fall/whatever, I kept seeing people in an uproar over a Victoria's Secret ad that featured their models showing various bras, and under the models, it said "Get the perfect 'Body'"

Well, apparently, this meant that VS thinks that their models have perfect bodies and people should strive to look like them and they were fat-shaming and blah blah whine whine. So many people were just overwhelmingly angry and offended by this ad.

But, look at the ad. Really look at it. The word "Body" is in quotation marks ON THE AD. Under each model's feet, you see words depicting which bra she's modelling - demi, wireless, push-up, etc. This is an ad for the Body by Victoria collection. It comes in a lot of styles and sizes, and offers customers the opportunity to find the perfect "Body" Bra for them. They're not telling you to look like their models, they're telling you that whatever you want from your bra, they have an option for you in that collection. The line is frequently referred to as "Body" by employees, because it's quicker to say when you're helping a customer, and they're probably going to remember a single word better when they come back later to get more.

The fact that so many people jumped to being offended by things that the company never said really blew my mind. I know they're not the best company in the world. But I worked there for four years, and every bit of training, every new marketing campaign, they were always stressing how it was our job to give our customer what she's looking for to feel confident and sexy. There were many different styles that came out as a response to customer's specific complaints or requests about things that they need their foundation garments to do.
 

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mynameisbob84 said:
You have transgender vs transsexual, gender identity being a different thing to gender expression, genderqueer being different to gender non-conformist, the term "queer" being an identifier for some people and a slur for others, shortened terms such as "trans" and "transgenders" being viewed as offensive by some people but not others, different terms for transgender men and women, different terms for pre-op and post-op transsexuals... and I've probably got something wrong in amongst that lot :?
This is sort of off-topic but sorta not.

People are overly offended by things sometimes, I definitely agree. BUT sometimes people are offended because somethings is truly offensive. You call a black person a nigger, they're not being overly sensitive by telling you it's rude. You call a transgendered person a transexual, they're not being overly sensitive in pointing out that a transexual is fetish ("Bob likes wearing his wifes bra while he jerks off but he doesn't feel like he's a woman" i.e. there's no such thing as a pre or post op transsexual because they don't feel like they are the wrong gender) and transgender is a gender (Stacy changed her name to Steven because she feels like she is in the wrong gendered body). It IS overly sensitive when someone tells you you're being rude because you wore braids in your hair cuz you thought it was cool and he feels that you're appropriating black culture. It's not overly sensitive if someone tells you that wearing black face is racist.

Some people love to be offended but, on the other hand, I think some people like to do offensive things (or refuse to correct themselves when they discover that what they've been doing is offensive) and then call someone a wuss when they correct them.
 

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SexyStephXS said:
mynameisbob84 said:
You have transgender vs transsexual, gender identity being a different thing to gender expression, genderqueer being different to gender non-conformist, the term "queer" being an identifier for some people and a slur for others, shortened terms such as "trans" and "transgenders" being viewed as offensive by some people but not others, different terms for transgender men and women, different terms for pre-op and post-op transsexuals... and I've probably got something wrong in amongst that lot :?
This is sort of off-topic but sorta not.

People are overly offended by things sometimes, I definitely agree. BUT sometimes people are offended because somethings is truly offensive. You call a black person a nigger, they're not being overly sensitive by telling you it's rude. You call a transgendered person a transexual, they're not being overly sensitive in pointing out that a transexual is fetish ("Bob likes wearing his wifes bra while he jerks off but he doesn't feel like he's a woman" i.e. there's no such thing as a pre or post op transsexual because they don't feel like they are the wrong gender) and transgender is a gender (Stacy changed her name to Steven because she feels like she is in the wrong gendered body). It IS overly sensitive when someone tells you you're being rude because you wore braids in your hair cuz you thought it was cool and he feels that you're appropriating black culture. It's not overly sensitive if someone tells you that wearing black face is racist.

Some people love to be offended but, on the other hand, I think some people like to do offensive things (or refuse to correct themselves when they discover that what they've been doing is offensive) and then call someone a wuss when they correct them.
You've said what I've been thinking so very well. While it's true that people looking for something to be offended about are annoying, it still doesn't excuse anyone who elects to try to offend people--friends or strangers. There are also people who look for "over-sensitive" people and like to taunt them. Life is too short to waste time being offensive OR too sensitive.
 
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WillowJames said:
There was a discussion on some NPR show recently about "trigger warnings" and how overused they're becoming. They were saying that everyone is offended by something, and increasingly, trigger warnings are being put at the beginning of pretty much everything nowadays. I see how sometimes a trigger warning is a good idea, like if someone might have a serious anxiety attack due to a mention of xyz, that person can choose to tune out or not consume that media right then. But using them extensively also just makes it too easy to just not confront anything potentially disturbing ever and never go through that examination and discussion process.
See, that's how trigger warnings are supposed to work. They're intended to help people, especially those with PTSD, avoid things that would trigger a full scale panic attack. Unfortunately the term has lost it's meaning and is now being used by people who don't actually have any anxiety disorders for the sole purpose of cutting out things that only make them mildly uncomfortable, or in the worst cases a springboard for guilting and attacking people.

As someone with diagnosed PTSD, it's incredibly bothersome because it's gotten to the point where non-war veteran PTSD sufferers are becoming a joke due to the broad misuse of "trigger warnings".

Likewise, people have basically made their "triggers" a part of themselves which is not a good thing. I have legitimate "triggers", but do I wave them around like a flag, putting a list of them in my profiles? Absolutely not. For one, I am responsible for my own well being, it's not the collective internet's responsibility to make sure one person feels comfortable. For two, I have seen so many instances where listing your "triggers" publicly leads to people intentionally send you triggering things which also very related to what I said in my second paragraph about how PTSD/triggers are becoming a joke.

People have also taken legitimate TWs overboard, too. Having a warning for a detailed story or picture of something obviously triggering is great and completely necessary, but putting TWs on the mere mention of an event or use of a word?
 

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SenaLuna said:
People have also taken legitimate TWs overboard, too. Having a warning for a detailed story or picture of something obviously triggering is great and completely necessary, but putting TWs on the mere mention of an event or use of a word?
Yeah, and the more and more "trigger warnings" become over used, they will eventually begin to loose their value. Because people won't take them seriously any more if everything that might be slightly offensive has a TW.
 

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The only time taking offense is justified in my opinion is when the person in question is intentionally being offensive. If they’re verbally attacking a group of people a defensive response makes sense. If someone is outright speaking from a place of hatred it's usually pretty clear; hate speech shouldn’t be considered socially acceptable.

People with unpopular opinions often seem to cause a lot of offense. Humans will never agree on everything, yet people act like they can make that happen by losing their shit. When the CEO of Chick Fil A admitted to being against gay marriage there was a massive controversy. This opinion led to protesting via picketing and sit ins, as well as plenty of media coverage. He made a personal opinion regarding gay marriage and the public responded as if he said "We need to murder all the gays before they scare off Jesus". Why the hell does anyone care about the politics of an organization that sells you fried chicken? People need to pick their battles. :/

I also believe that either everything is ok to make fun of, or nothing is. I don't recommend making a religion/race/death joke in front of grandparents or bosses, but I don't believe humor should be a target of major controversy either. I've heard a lot of people recently say "You can't make jokes about rape", including someone who has stated that joking about cancer is okay. Humor is a way many people cope with tragedy, and it seems wrong to take that away from them.

I don’t fully understand trigger warnings and whatnot but I’m pretty sure by definition I’ve been “triggered” before. There was a scene in a show I was watching where someone died and had a specific wound. Seeing that immediately caused a severe panic attack. I relived a horrible moment in my life involving a loved one dying (they had the same wound that the scene depicted). I don’t think it would be right of me to say “How dare you, that scene should have had a trigger warning!” People who’ve dealt with traumatic experiences can be “triggered” at any time. It’s just part of being human: we all have to find a way around our trauma and become better people despite it.

TLDR: Agreed.
 

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it's really simple!
if you're cis, say "transgender woman/man/person" or "trans woman/man/person"
There's a little bit of a disconnect here. You say it's simple. In all my life, I hadn't heard the term "cis" until last year. Imagine my surprise when I found out I, myself, am "cis". It's not simple when the language keeps changing. Now I know what people are referring to when they say "cis" but I would never use the term to refer to myself. I would probably use the term "normal", but that, I guess, is why people possibly started using the term "cis" in the first place and what makes this post relevant to the thread. I guess "normal" was deemed offensive.

I hope, if I ever run into someone that falls into any of the categories in question, and it ever comes up, they just tell me what they want to be called and I'll use that.
 
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JerryBoBerry said:
Just this morning I read on a different forum an argument about how many days in a week there were. It was quite heated because some people thought by working out every other day there were 8 days in the week. If you want to read it in full, start at post #6... Mind numbing stupidity
It's a little depressing to think there people out there that stupid.
Thank you. This made me so happy. :clap:
 

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Kradek said:
it's really simple!
if you're cis, say "transgender woman/man/person" or "trans woman/man/person"
There's a little bit of a disconnect here. You say it's simple. In all my life, I hadn't heard the term "cis" until last year. Imagine my surprise when I found out I, myself, am "cis". It's not simple when the language keeps changing. Now I know what people are referring to when they say "cis" but I would never use the term to refer to myself.
new=/=complicated. transgender rights are just starting to get into the mainstream, so of course there are going to be some words that you haven't heard before, and trans related words & concepts are going to evolve a bit. there's nothing wrong with that. it's still pretty simple to learn which words to use and which to avoid.
what don't you like about being called cisgender? no negative connotation, just a descriptive word. opposite of transgender. that's like a straight person saying they wouldn't call themselves straight, or something. again, it being new to you doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing. what else would you suggest to mean the opposite of trans? there isn't any other way to put it that's nearly as concise.

edit because you added to your post since i always take like 50 years to put my thoughts into words :lol: : "normal" is offensive in the same way that it would be with any other oppressed group. like, "gay, bisexual, normal." "black, asian, latino, normal." i don't think it has anything to do with trans people being easily offended, it's just newer than lgbtqa rights/civil rights/whatever.
 

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AprilPhantom said:
new=/=complicated. transgender rights are just starting to get into the mainstream, so of course there are going to be some words that you haven't heard before, and trans related words & concepts are going to evolve a bit. there's nothing wrong with that. it's still pretty simple to learn which words to use and which to avoid.
what don't you like about being called cisgender? no negative connotation, just a descriptive word. opposite of transgender. that's like a straight person saying they wouldn't call themselves straight, or something. again, it being new to you doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing. what else would you suggest to mean the opposite of trans? there isn't any other way to put it that's nearly as concise.

edit because you added to your post since i always take like 50 years to put my thoughts into words :lol: : "normal" is offensive in the same way that it would be with any other oppressed group. like, "gay, bisexual, normal." "black, asian, latino, normal." i don't think it has anything to do with trans people being easily offended, it's just newer than lgbtqa rights/civil rights/whatever.
To clarify, I don't have any problem being called cis. Rightly or wrongly, to me, it just muddied the water. I also realize that, in my mind, I've conflated male identifying as a male gender, with male identifying as male gender *and* a sexual preference for women. Because I didn't realize those where two different axes until you made your comment about straight, so thanks.
 

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I think being easily offended is usually a result of needing to gain communication skills. Part of interacting with other humans is trying to understand them, and that includes understanding whether they intend to be hurtful, whether they're being hurtful because of lack of knowledge or whether the hurt is coming from your own brain. In cases where someone doesn't mean to be hurtful, allowing yourself to become offended instead of educating them or searching yourself for a source of confusion is a missed opportunity. Too often, especially on the internet, people say they're offended when they mean they just dislike you or your opinion. Someone disagreeing with you doesn't make you a victim or make them a villain. Disagreement and difference of opinion happen, but that's not the same as someone actively trying to be offensive.
 
Jan 27, 2014
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basically.

Also I think the tw issue is just people misusing and misunderstanding. trigger warnings before posts that discuss common ptsd triggers are warranted and I'm sure those who suffer from it appreciate being able to use common websites without being sent spiraling into panic unnecessarily. I've seen ridiculous things like 'tw: periods' before though, and my head hit the desk so fucking fast. trigger warning does not mean "thing I find icky" ffs.
 
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