Is it just a ploy? Suspicion, ridicule, cynicism

[RogueWarrior]

I lifted this from another thread because, quite frankly, I found it the most interesting quote to come out that thread.

It's common for people to assume that anything we say is a ploy to leverage money out of a man's wallet (thanks, Gizmodo), and there's something a bit sad knowing that if, on that rare occasion, a camgirl does connect with someone, her honesty will be treated with suspicion. And it's also a bit sad that a member would be ridiculed for believing her. I don't want to suggest that we should abandon all judgment or trust blindly. It would just be nice if there were more room for sincerity.

Suspicion, in and of itself, is not necessarily a bad thing. Suspicion for reasons unfounded starts to border on paranoia. I believe part of the suspicion comes from a forum such as this where members are reminded over and over that, for the models, this is a job, a source of income. Pair that with a few cautionary tales and an environment has been created where it is very easy to perpetuate the myth that any act of friendship is a ploy.

I don't know where I really wanted to go with this, just that the above quote made me think. Have we really become so cynical that our default is to be suspicious of any and everything? How many opportunities are missed because we are so busy looking for ulterior motives that the face value is lost on us? Sometimes "Hey, you're pretty cool, I like you," just means "Hey, you're pretty cool, I like you."

Now I feel like listening to "Cherry Bomb" by John Mellencamp.

 

[Nordling]

Ha ha! You had me until John Mellencamp.

Seriously, I agree. I see nothing wrong with healthy skepticism, in fact it's a very normal part of human's safety measures, but automatic suspicion and cynicism isn't healthy.

 

[Shaun__]

I am friends with a model I spend very little money on, and I do not think our friendship would change if I spent nothing. She never asks me for anything, but she is working so I tip to avoid feeling guilty about being a distraction. I try to give people the same chance I always want in life, and see no reason to change doing that.

 

[Jupiter551]

I think it's ridiculous to imagine that someone you interact with on a daily basis ONLY wants money out of you. Sure, there are people out there like that - and not just women, or camgirls - but for the most part if you treat someone with respect you'll get it back in return.

I live near a cafe and sometimes pop in of a morning to get a takeaway coffee, now I'm on a first name basis with everyone who works there and of course they're running a business and I don't ask for or expect free shit, but I'll chat to them for a bit when I'm there. Sometimes, rude customers come in - people too busy or think they're too important to wait their turn and will grab a newspaper and just throw (literally sometimes) money on the counter and walk out. It goes without saying that they're not appreciated the way the many other customers and locals are - the ones who treat staff the same way they themselves would like to be treated.

Now if you took the same situation with a camgirl/customer relationship suddenly it's impossible they're displaying genuine affection/friendship/enjoyment when they see a member they get along with? I call bullshit, and anyone who thinks it's all about tokens all the time is probably the kind of person who treats models in such a way that the model would rather NOT interact with them if money isn't on the table.
:twocents-02cents:

 

[theguitarrist]

I just wanted to say that I think skepticism is reasonable when you are just meeting a model. Maybe she is lying, maybe she is telling the truth, maybe she is telling you a lie although she doesn't want to (eg. a lot of models lie about their location because of safety issues). And I think models also will see new members with skepticism.

Now, after a few days, weeks or months, maybe you can go beyond that, absolutely. But in the short term... skepticism seems to be the default... at least for me.

 

[bob]

i've got nothing to add to any of the comments.....great thread tho rogue :thumbleft:

 

[southsamurai]

To the question "Is it a ploy?" i have to answer with another.... does it matter? If you come to MFC or the other cam sites, you sort of assume that the lady is there to make money. So yeah, her time on cam is done with the intent to get tokens. Big whoop.

Now, does that mean that the model is scheming to get tokens with every word she says? no. does it mean that she is not a person with thoughts, feelings and desires that matter? no. It is a truism in psychology, magic, and self improvement seminars that you can "fake it til you make it". If a person behaves in a specific manner long enough and often enough, then even if it isn't "real" then it either becomes so, or might as well be anyway.
If a model decides to pretend friendship, connection, then if she does it over time in a convincing manner, is there any difference at all?

As a nurse's assistant i went into the homes of total strangers. Many of these people were either chronically ill, disabled, or dying. A few were recovering from something severe enough to warrant not being able to take care of themselves for an extended time. I was being paid to go to their homes. I was being paid to bathe them, cook for them, dress them etc... Those are things that our mothers and fathers do for us when we are young. Those are things that, as adults, only close family and friends do. Does it devalue that the need was great for my patients because i was getting paid? Does it mean that i was scheming and plotting for a paycheck when i would smile and laugh with them? Does it mean that the care i showed them, the time i spent talking to them as we worked was somehow less that if it was their cousin or sister doing the same task?

i don't believe that anyone would call me fake or some otherwise insulting term for doing the job. Why should there even be a problem if i did have to fake it at times? Did every day i went in start with me uber happy and feeling all sorts of love and friendship? hell no! i'm a grumpy bastard by nature. When you do a job you should do it right, and that entails you being who and what you are while doing it. modeling is no different. So if a model has to bullshit her way through a rough day to make a living i say "go to it ma'am!"

 

[16_bit]

As a nurse's assistant i went into the homes of total strangers. Many of these people were either chronically ill, disabled, or dying. A few were recovering from something severe enough to warrant not being able to take care of themselves for an extended time. I was being paid to go to their homes. I was being paid to bathe them, cook for them, dress them etc... Those are things that our mothers and fathers do for us when we are young. Those are things that, as adults, only close family and friends do. Does it devalue that the need was great for my patients because i was getting paid? Does it mean that i was scheming and plotting for a paycheck when i would smile and laugh with them? Does it mean that the care i showed them, the time i spent talking to them as we worked was somehow less that if it was their cousin or sister doing the same task?

While i think you're making a good point, it's hard to compare the two jobs. You were going to get paid whether you were nice, indifferent or grumpy. Being nice wouldn't make you more money so people wouldn't have reason to think anything over than you were being nice. If cam girls (and guys) got paid a set wage, they could be who they wanted and this wouldn't be an issue. They could be friends with the people they clicked with and not with others.

Sadly this isn't the way things work, and models have to rely on tips and privates/groups. And as it seems that any negatives massively overshadow all the postives, it changes how people think. Of course it's not right. You should never go into a room and be suspicious of anything a model says or does unless given a good reason too. Members should just use common sense and be alert, go in with an open mind and a little caution until it's no longer needed.
From my experinces, most models are genuine and won't make a fake friendship or just use members for money. Yes it's their job and they have to make money but they'd much rather be themselves and not have to lie, be fake or go out of their way/comfort zone to make it.

 

[southsamurai]

While i think you're making a good point, it's hard to compare the two jobs. You were going to get paid whether you were nice, indifferent or grumpy. Being nice wouldn't make you more money so people wouldn't have reason to think anything over than you were being nice. If cam girls (and guys) got paid a set wage, they could be who they wanted and this wouldn't be an issue. They could be friends with the people they clicked with and not with others.

well that's a valid point. there is one thing though that tips it back to being a valid comparison. if i went in indifferent or grumpy i wouldn't have been allowed back, might not have had a job at all if i did it more than once or twice. Within the home health field being nice did make you more money. A happy, friendly helper would not only be asked to stay on with a patient, but often word of mouth would ensure a continued string of cases to work. there were plenty of times where i would work overtime (which rarely if ever happens in that field) simply because my nature and skill caused the clients to prefer having no assistant if they couldn't have me.

 

[Red7227]

well that's a valid point. there is one thing though that tips it back to being a valid comparison. if i went in indifferent or grumpy i wouldn't have been allowed back, might not have had a job at all if i did it more than once or twice. Within the home health field being nice did make you more money. A happy, friendly helper would not only be asked to stay on with a patient, but often word of mouth would ensure a continued string of cases to work. there were plenty of times where i would work overtime (which rarely if ever happens in that field) simply because my nature and skill caused the clients to prefer having no assistant if they couldn't have me.

Yep, I did the same job with much the same result. I am kind and outgoing by my nature, it wasn't an act I put on to get more work. There are a lot of really dreadful cam girls who sit there being grumpy and uncommunicative and wonder why no one frequent's their rooms. My their nature, camming and personal care require outgoing personable individuals.

 

[JoleneBrody]

If cam girls (and guys) got paid a set wage, they could be who they wanted and this wouldn't be an issue. They could be friends with the people they clicked with and not with others.

Sadly this isn't the way things work

Incorrect. I've banned people who have tipped for acting like an idiot. I decline privates with people I don't like more often than I accept a private. Not saying every girl does this but this is how I protect myself. I wont last long if I don't enjoy my time on cam, I.E enjoy the people in my room. Just because I'm working for a paycheck, doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself and I wouldn't enjoy myself if I didn't enjoy the company of my fellers.

 

[16_bit]

well that's a valid point. there is one thing though that tips it back to being a valid comparison. if i went in indifferent or grumpy i wouldn't have been allowed back, might not have had a job at all if i did it more than once or twice. Within the home health field being nice did make you more money. A happy, friendly helper would not only be asked to stay on with a patient, but often word of mouth would ensure a continued string of cases to work. there were plenty of times where i would work overtime (which rarely if ever happens in that field) simply because my nature and skill caused the clients to prefer having no assistant if they couldn't have me.

I didn't say your comparison wasn't valid, i thought it was a good one. I just meant it's harder to compare a job where the person is paid a set wage with a job where the person doesn't know how much they'll make each pay period.

If cam girls (and guys) got paid a set wage, they could be who they wanted and this wouldn't be an issue. They could be friends with the people they clicked with and not with others.

Sadly this isn't the way things work

Incorrect. I've banned people who have tipped for acting like an idiot. I decline privates with people I don't like more often than I accept a private. Not saying every girl does this but this is how I protect myself. I wont last long if I don't enjoy my time on cam, I.E enjoy the people in my room. Just because I'm working for a paycheck, doesn't mean I can't enjoy myself and I wouldn't enjoy myself if I didn't enjoy the company of my fellers.

When i said this wouldn't be an issue, i meant the topic of the original post of suspicion and cynicism. And that members who think that way wouldn't have to if the model made a set wage as there would be no need for models to pretend to be friends with people they didn't want to. I didn't mean to imply to that a model couldn't be herself or couldn't enjoy her time on cam, just that it could be easier.

 

[DanniShimmers]

I'm friends with a basic member and chat with him all the time. He never spends money on MFC but he HAS done things to help me outside of MFC even though you can't put a dollar value on everything he has done. Some of the Premiums love to give him shit about being a cheap-ass lurker who never spends money or compensates me for my time... so they think. He has forbidden me to say anything, and he lets them give him shit because he thinks it's hilarious.

There are definitely members I like a whole lot more and my favorite members aren't necessarily my biggest tippers. There are members I actually care about and they are not always my "high rollers. It's also easy to forget that yes, I am there to make money, but it is just as possible for me to care about my customers on MFC as it is for me to care about the customers at a shop or bar or any other customer service position I work in. Trust me, when I was waitressing I had some high tippers I'd honestly have loved to kick in the nuts and/or never see again just so I didn't have to put up with their shit, and I've definitely banned tipping members for being shitheads before.

Not all transactions are made in dollars or tokens.

(that still doesn't excuse lurking in my room for a free show week after week and never tipping, either with tokens or through wishlists or whatever)

 

[Jupiter551]

I'm friends with a basic member and chat with him all the time. He never spends money on MFC but he HAS done things to help me outside of MFC even though you can't put a dollar value on everything he has done. Some of the Premiums love to give him shit about being a cheap-ass lurker who never spends money or compensates me for my time... so they think. He has forbidden me to say anything, and he lets them give him shit because he thinks it's hilarious.

Understandable to be friends with a basic (or whomever you choose) but don't forget sometimes we premiums feel a bit resentful at being 'used' by basics to pay for their 'free' shows. I don't know the exact situation but just understand from a premium's pov we dislike basics because we're expected to tip (and do) while they get away with freeloading. Sometimes it seems like a freeloading premium gets called out or banned but the basics are more or less invisible to the model. That he helps you outside MFC obviously makes it different, but letting them think he's just a moocher in order to encourage further bad reactions from him just seems...a little unfair.

 

[DanniShimmers]

I'm friends with a basic member and chat with him all the time. He never spends money on MFC but he HAS done things to help me outside of MFC even though you can't put a dollar value on everything he has done. Some of the Premiums love to give him shit about being a cheap-ass lurker who never spends money or compensates me for my time... so they think. He has forbidden me to say anything, and he lets them give him shit because he thinks it's hilarious.

Understandable to be friends with a basic (or whomever you choose) but don't forget sometimes we premiums feel a bit resentful at being 'used' by basics to pay for their 'free' shows. I don't know the exact situation but just understand from a premium's pov we dislike basics because we're expected to tip (and do) while they get away with freeloading. Sometimes it seems like a freeloading premium gets called out or banned but the basics are more or less invisible to the model. That he helps you outside MFC obviously makes it different, but letting them think he's just a moocher in order to encourage further bad reactions from him just seems...a little unfair.

It's unfair, BUT it's also not my place to correct them. I feel like if he doesn't want them to know about stuff he does outside of the website, that's really his business. Also, as a gesture of goodwill he will voluntarily leave the room once a show starts.