AmberCutie's Forum
An adult community for cam models and members to discuss all the things!

My brain is scrambled

  • ** WARNING - ACF CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT **
    Only persons aged 18 or over may read or post to the forums, without regard to whether an adult actually owns the registration or parental/guardian permission. AmberCutie's Forum (ACF) is for use by adults only and contains adult content. By continuing to use this site you are confirming that you are at least 18 years of age.
Status
Not open for further replies.
Sep 2, 2011
8
0
46
I have posted this on a different forum but this one seems a lot more active and I'm hoping for feedback. Any input, especially based on your own previous experience, is truly appreciated:

Let me briefly recap my cam site history, such as it is: first got on MFC back in May (also tried other sites) The first two weeks were exhilarating, exciting, crazy. It felt almost dangerous. I could tell girls what to do for tips...actual real live women. Felt like I was in my 20's again (I'm 58). The second phase that set in was ennui...I kept surfing the sites, kept jerking off but felt a sense of existential dread almost. Hard to describe. That phase then slowly turned into boredom. Gradually, I stopped visiting cam sites and deleted my MFC account. I even boasted about being done with the camming world, good riddance.

Well, you know what's coming. After about three weeks of abstinence, I started peeking at MFC again, first as a guest, then as a premium and this time, I really started spending like a drunken sailor. I did a bunch of privates, Skype shows, found a couple of very attractive Romanian models with whom I played the "rich uncle" (sent money). But the worst of it hit about ten days ago. I happened to wonder into the room of a very young American model and it was e-love at first site. I was totally smitten within minutes. Never, ever, ever had I thought something like this could happen. I tipped her very well and very often, got her email address and we started emailing back and forth, which very quickly turned into red hot sexting. I'm talking a rock solid hard-on from her first "hello" . She sent me some naughty pics and I sent her naughty stories (I'm a musician and a part time writer, so I have a way with words which she said she loved)

So now of course we get to the point where I want her all to myself, I want to basically drain my bank account for her (and when I say "want to", I mean "feel driven to".....it has NOTHING to do with actually *wanting* any of it) In the last three or four days, I've been a complete wreck. My days revolve around hearing from her, seeing her emails, sensing what mood she's in, feeling resentful if her emails aren't as cordial and emotional as I'd like them to be. In short: I am fucked up.

For the record: I am happily married and have no intention of leaving my wife for any 22 year old, no matter how insanely infatuated I may feel. I still have that much judgement left. But I wanted to share this here because I KNOW there are others that have been through this. And also because I have no one else to talk to about this.

I'm looking forward to your responses but please bear in mind that you don't need to make light of this or make fun of it: I know myself very well how ridiculous and dramatic I'm sounding

Giorgio
 
We're just more people from fantasyland. I think you need a bit more grounding than you will get on an internet message board at this stage. Speak to someone you know and trust in the real world and get them to slap you around a bit and help you snap out of it.
 
Grounding is not the problem: if I weren't grounded, I'd already be out of the house by now, chasing ghosts. I was merely looking for someone who might have gone through a similar experience

G
 
Bocefish said:
You have an addiction, seek PROFESSIONAL help.

This. It may not seem like it would do any good, but going to a shrink might be a valid step at this point. This sounds like serious infatuation bordering on obsession. And not to burst your bubble, but sometimes models will go the extra mile for big spenders like this girl has. Not saying she is absolutely taking advantage of your current state of mind because obviously she's not here to say whether she is or not, but it is possible. Good luck.
 
Plus, unless the member is telling the model that he's in some kind of desperate straits, how is she to know that he isn't just a big ol' friendly tipper. :)
 
Nordling said:
Plus, unless the member is telling the model that he's in some kind of desperate straits, how is she to know that he isn't just a big ol' friendly tipper. :)

Most of the time models can get a sense that the member is going down the same path this guy is, but you're right she could be totally oblivious.
 
Having been on the other side of something similar (that is, my spouse becoming infatuated with someone online, to the point of planning to meet), here's my advice:

Unless she already knows and/or you guys have an open relationship sort of deal, there's a good chance that your wife has already noticed that something is off about your behavior, and is either driving herself crazy trying to make sense of it, or trying to figure out how to approach you about it. If you care about your existing relationship as much as you seem to indicate, you need to stop what you're doing and find a professional counselor or therapist immediately. You should be prepared to make a hard decision about whether and how you'll let your wife know what you've done, and you'd be well-served to have a professional help you a) make that decision and b) deal with the potential fallout of either decision. If you do decide to inform your spouse, you'll likely have to answer some tough questions about why and how this happened, and a professional can help you figure out some of those things for yourself.

And there are places (real and virtual) where you can find people in similar situations to talk to, but honestly, this is probably not the best place to find those people. Good luck.
 
I have cut all contact with this model, have deleted my mfc account and opened a new Skype account. I may be an obsessed old fool but I'm not an idiot! Professional help will not be necessary: my wife is sitting next to me as I type this and I do have an active life, even if it got hijacked for a few days by a fetching model.

To be honest, I think sites like mfc are far more risky than the porn industry. Porn makes money on your libido. Cam sites have the potential of leading to a desert of emotional despair. I'm out!

Thank you for your replies and I apologize for the tone of my original post which led you to think I was more of a crack addict than I am

GG
 
Giorgio Prager said:
I have cut all contact with this model, have deleted my mfc account and opened a new Skype account. I may be an obsessed old fool but I'm not an idiot! Professional help will not be necessary: my wife is sitting next to me as I type this and I do have an active life, even if it got hijacked for a few days by a fetching model.

To be honest, I think sites like mfc are far more risky than the porn industry. Porn makes money on your libido. Cam sites have the potential of leading to a desert of emotional despair. I'm out!

Thank you for your replies and I apologize for the tone of my original post which led you to think I was more of a crack addict than I am

GG

Part of me suspects that you're just a particularly talented troll, given that you signed up for an account, seemed to ask for advice and then appear to have resolved it all quite tidily within 16 hours, so my response may seem a bit hostile.

You've already learned that deleting your MFC account won't prevent you from doing this again, and yet that's your response again. It may not be idiotic, but it's the textbook tongue-in-check definition of insanity.

Also, just because your wife is sitting next to you doesn't mean you wouldn't benefit from professional help (perhaps both of you would benefit from some relationship counseling). It's great that she knows, but surely you, if not she, would benefit from some insight into why you've now followed the same pattern twice, lest there be a third, fourth, etc. occurrence. Figuring that out doesn't require a professional, but they sure can help.
 
Inky, I am not a troll but can't blame you for thinking I am. My first post definitely sounded desperate. It has NOT been tidily resolved over the last 16 hours - far from it - but I have taken steps that make me feel somewhat encouraged and a little more optimistic.

You are absolutely right about the mfc thing! I have done it before and might do it again. This time, though, I've been burned so severely that I do not think I will...but yes, you have a point.

No worries about sounding hostile. I know it comes from the right place and I appreciate the concern.

GG
 
Giorgio Prager said:
I have cut all contact with this model, have deleted my mfc account and opened a new Skype account. I may be an obsessed old fool but I'm not an idiot! Professional help will not be necessary: my wife is sitting next to me as I type this and I do have an active life, even if it got hijacked for a few days by a fetching model.
I'm going to agree with inky here. This whole thing didn't come out of nowhere and it's not going to be resolved in a matter of hours. We obviously have no way of knowing whether you are a man, or have a wife, and if you have one, where she is sitting. A lot of us have formed attachments on the internet, however, and we understand that they don't simply leave your consciousness when you log off.

Giorgio Prager said:
To be honest, I think sites like mfc are far more risky than the porn industry. Porn makes money on your libido. Cam sites have the potential of leading to a desert of emotional despair. I'm out!
Can't argue with you there, but cam sites are no different from any online spaces, adult or otherwise, that provide an illusion of intimacy.

Giorgio Prager said:
NR
 
Giorgio Prager said:
... have deleted my mfc account ...
I have done that now 5 times, LJ and MFC combined, so yes, this a repeating pattern, I know that.

But really? 58 and 22? Thats something I don't understand, so different lives. I'm 45 and the times I did have this kind of troubles it's with models that are 35+. Problems not so big as yours, I have no relation, and the other side did never go for money.

BTW, what does the GG / RR mean in this thread ?
 
RedHerby said:
But really? 58 and 22? Thats something I don't understand, so different lives.

I know!!! It's total insanity. Disgusting, really. I have two daughters older than that! Then again, Woody Allen has built a career on making movies about this very thing (profs falling in love with chicks one third their age, destroying their own lives in the process) And long before that, time honored writers like Pushkin wrote about it. Maybe one day we will learn how to be masters of our chemistry - until then, nothing short of chemical castration works :?

GG are my "real life" initials. I guess I just used it out of habit

G
 
Status
Not open for further replies.