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Real Names

Discussion in 'General Cam Chat' started by Therubyrouge, Jan 8, 2019.

  1. Therubyrouge

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2018
    Messages:
    19
    What do you say to members who are overly insistent or interested in finding out your real name?
    I know I don’t “Have” to say anything, but I’m just curious how other models respond to this, because some of them introduce themselves and then get almost offended when I give them my same cam name, particularly in pvts or on a google voice text line. I’m loathe to be “rude” because I feel like it will set a bad standard for my room dynamic, but then again it’s in private, so should I care?? (Clearly I’m a big noob )
     
  2. Natalie_Lavender

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2018
    Messages:
    602
    As a new model, unfortunately, you will feel pressured sometimes to give up more information than you should. Don’t. And don’t feel bad. I would tell them my name is my cam name. If they don’t like it, they can leave. Those users are not ones you will want in your room. Even if they are tipping. Quality members will not pressure you for that information. They understand the importance of our privacy.
    Eventually they will stop asking or they will move on. New models can get preyed upon by shady members. Listen to your gut in those situations and don’t ever feel bad for trusting it.
    My first month or 2 was filled with users trying to convince me to say or do things that were ultimately not to my benefit. Once those trolls & leeches realized I wasn’t going to give in, they just stopped bugging me and moved onto their next target. I honestly can’t even remember the last time someone tried to ask me for my real name. The occasional real location questions still, but I give them a generic region answer...just like my bio says.
     
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  3. SaffronBurke

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2013
    Messages:
    17,170
    I'm just a troll to these people, they should know better but they ask anyway, so I don't give a straight answer. I tell anyone who asks/says anything about "real" me (what's my real name, what state do I live in, they really want to x my y) one of the following:

    I live on (the Moon, Pluto, Risa) so it doesn't matter
    I'm made of pixels and don't have a corporeal form, ergo it would be impossible for you to fuck my tits/why would a bunch of pixels have a name beyond the one I have when I'm operational
     
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  4. good

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2018
    Messages:
    4
    One day they get your name
    Next your city
    Then one finds you and harrass you

    You will not create bad mood. Your life, your rules, your protection.
    If he makes a mess then he ruines the room mood and others will be happy you ban him. They will support you.
    A good moderator will probably kick or ban if he insists.
     
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  5. AudriTwo

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2014
    Messages:
    4,752
    I make them feel like an asshole and guilty by asking them "why are you asking me inappropriate questions that are completely unnecessary for you to know, and that could potentially harm my family and myself. What the fuck? How dare you. Get some fucking boundaries, ya creep. MY NAME IS AUDRI"


    Then my room turns on them. Because they know that isn't something to ask a sex worker. That person will aapologize, leave, or call me a bitch.
     
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  6. Sillykitty

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2018
    Messages:
    76
    When I started, I was bombarded with that. So I made up a fake "real" name as a test to see what would happen. Wouldnt you know it, the 2 "good guys" I told it to were dicks. One used it repeatedly in the chat room (before I blocked him), the other used messaging to threaten me, saying he would use it in a group show (also blocked).

    Same goes for phone number. I gave a burner number to a steady regular after being begged- then he took a map screen shot of the city where it was from and sent it to me.

    Dudes who are insistent about pushing boundaries that they know they shouldnt are usually up to no good. They know you are new and unsure. Do not worry about being rude, I simply state that it is a boundary I'm not willing to cross and if they cant respect those boundaries then I may not feel comfortable allowing them access to shows in the future. If someone pushes my boundaries twice, they are blocked.
     
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  7. THE MOLLIE MARIE

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2013
    Messages:
    2,486
    Yep. If they can't understand why this is inappropriate, they aren't the kind of person I want as a client. I'm not going to entertain their lack of boundaries at the start, because it will likely only snowball from there. No thank you.

    Establish and stick to your boundaries from day one! In work, in personal relationships, everywhere. But it is sooo important in this field.
     
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  8. ForceTen

    Joined:
    May 11, 2017
    Messages:
    2,083
    As a member, if a model has a cam name that isn't readily distinguishable as somethingI can call them in the chat room, I'll ask them what if they have a name or other preference they would like to be called by. Unless told otherwise, I automatically assume it's a stage name. I'll pretty much leave it at that, as I don't want to push my luck with a model. I'm mostly inquiring so that when I say/tip hello to them, I can do it with a name other than "HotestAss4U".

    I've seen a few members get pretty pushy on personal info and most of the rooms I've been in get pretty defensive of the model telling the person to just enjoy their time here and not worry about it.
     
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  9. Therubyrouge

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2018
    Messages:
    19
    That’s a fair point on the screen name! I didn’t really consider that some of the names aren’t exactly names
     
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  10. briandf255

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2018
    Messages:
    109
    Yeah, I have to agree with ForceTen... I find it very awkward when I don't have a human name to call a model by, so I usually ask "What's your name?" I personally don't care if it's their real name or their stage name as long as it's an actual name and not something like "HottestAss4U".

    I just want to mention that there are perfectly harmless reasons for someone to ask your real name (like simple curiosity), so even if it seems intrusive I'm not really in favour of snapping at someone the first time he asks, but if he can't take no for an answer and keeps bugging you about it then by all means be rude or block him, because by then it's justified.
     
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  11. Brett M

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2017
    Messages:
    737
    I honestly don't see the need for knowing a model's real name. So long as she has a fake name I can call her, rather than just her username then I am happy. I prefer at least a name as opposed to a username purely because I don't want to be calling them an odd/unusual or dirty kind of name constantly. Even if they don't mind it, it's not something I like.

    I don't ever think I have asked any model for her name. Some have been kind enough to tell me but of course, I never have and never would betray their trust and say it in free/public chat. I try not to even use it in Private Messages, so not to accidentally post it in free/public.

    There was one model I followed from the moment I joined Chaturbate and for a VERY long time, I didn't know her name - I used her name she had in her username (you know, how some have sexybrett - so I would take the name "Brett" and call them that).

    I have seen some guys accidentally post the models real name in free chat - thinking they were still in a private show, or in PM. But then some ar proper assholes and use it because they can't get their own way or the model is "ignoring" (and by ignoring I mean, they are working and not commiting thei time to this guy) the person.
     
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  12. Johndoe91

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2014
    Messages:
    598
    Not a model, obviously, so my opinions probably arent worth the paper they arent printed on.
    I dont know how often the average model gets asked, but I think at least every once and a while I would try to act as serious as possible and give the most off the wall real name I could think of. My mind always goes to the typical old lady names.
     
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  13. Songbird_Shelly

    Joined:
    May 24, 2015
    Messages:
    2,278
    I tell them "You may call me Shelly, Fox, BrownFox, or YummyBrownFox." It kind of annoys me when they call me 'yummy', since 'yummy' is the adjective out of 'yummybrownfox'...lol. If they ask for my real name, I tell them once more "You may call me Shelly, Fox, BrownFox, or YummyBrownFox." Usually at that point they realize that they should just drop it. If they're dumb enough to keep at it though, it's time to ban. It's nobody's fucking business, and no cam model should have to deal with that shit...I don't care if the guy IS tipping or not. I remember an MFC member, years ago, leaving my chat and never returning, because he was butthurt that I wouldn't tell him my real name. LOL. Good riddance, dude. I'd rather not have creepy guys like that in my room anyway.
     
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  14. Emberblaze

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2015
    Messages:
    4,004
    I told a guy a fake name in a private once when he pushed for my "real name".

    So the next time he comes in he calls me that in free chat. *Blinks* k, thanks dude. This is exactly why you got a fake name.

    Just have a fake "real name."
     
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  15. SaffronBurke

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2013
    Messages:
    17,170
    I have a rabbit hole of names I can give out, several of which are Firefly references for some (very obvious) reason. If I get bored with that, we can always go Star Trek.

    When I was on Chaturbate, people would try to trip me up by entering my chat and saying "hi, Linda!" or some other random name, as if that's going to make me blurt out my real name instead of going "my name is Saffron, silly, it's right here on your screen!" I don't even KNOW any Linda's or Deborah's or any of the other random names they've used.
     
  16. Lintilla

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2012
    Messages:
    1,484
    I think I was the only one out of forty-something people who responded to the poll in Models Only asking if anyone used their real name on cam who answered yes. And although (one of my) real name(s) is something I use outright or will offer to people to call me if they find Lintilla too space-y, even I don't appreciate the question "what's your [real] name?"

    At best, they're just going to get "isn't it there on your screen?" or a discussion on the definition of the word "real" from me, until they either get the point or gtfo. Anyone who won't take no for an answer has no place in my room, so pushing gets a quick block. I'll volunteer any personal info I'm comfortable sharing on my own.

    For any members looking for something better to call a model than HottestAss4U, try "what should I call you?" instead of "whats' your [real] name?" It'll help distinguish you from the idiots and ignorant.
     
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  17. RogueWarrior

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2011
    Messages:
    1,172
    As a long time member, I don't really care what your real name is. I really don't even need to know your stage name in order to engage. I've found that if you are engaged in public chat and pay attention, you will soon find out how a model prefers to be addressed.

    Not sure if any of that was helpful to the OP, but I will say, you don't need the guys that pressure you into doing something you're uncomfortable with. It's a power play, and then they'll be gone.
     
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  18. briandf255

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2018
    Messages:
    109
    I can see those conversations going like this:

    [Customer]: What should I call you?
    [HottestAss4U]: Call me HottestAss4U.
    [Customer]: :facepalm:

    [Customer]: What's your name?
    [HottestAss4U]: Call me Alice.
    [Customer]: :)

    [Customer]: What's your name?
    [HottestAss4U]: How dare you ask for my name!!! CREEP! *block*
    [Customer]: o_O

    I agree that asking for a real name is pushy, especially if the customer barely knows the model. No, I take that back... Asking for a real name is always pushy and should never be done. (Especially given the examples by some models of how that customer later tried to blackmail them or flippantly started using the name they were given - and they thought was real - in public chat.)

    However, I don't see the problem with asking for a name to call the model by (not necessarily her real name) just because she has a username that is not a name and the customer would find it awkward to use. I often ask girls their name in private chats if their username is not (and does not contain) a name.

    (Note: I always ask "What's your name?" and not "What's your real name?")

    (Also note: I don't visit public chats.. Maybe the etiquette is different for those places, but in a private chats I can't pick up the name the girl prefers to use by observing, since all conversations are one on one.)

    I don't ask for a name right at the start, but if we hit it off and I decide that I will visit her again I usually do ask, because it's nice to have a human name to call her by rather than something that looks more like a wifi password. Some girls are quite clear that they are giving me their stage name and I'm fine with that. With others, I'm not sure if the name they gave me is their real name or a fake name and I don't ask or care, because I got what I wanted. I never had a model flatly refuse to give me a name and I never had a model flip out on me because I asked her name instead of asking what would be the proper string of characters to address her with. I agree that asking for a model's real name is inappropriate, but I disagree that asking for a name is also inappropriate (I don't see how it would be) and I don't think it means the person asking is an idiot.

    Anyways, this thread is about asking for a model's real name and I think we're all in agreement about that, so I'll leave it at that.
     
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  19. Lintilla

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2012
    Messages:
    1,484
    If she wants to be called HottestAss4U, then call her HottestAss4U? And by asking what to call her, you avoid running into the third result. I don't enjoy guessing whether someone asking for my name is a creep or idiot or not (I never meant I assume someone is either of those, it just does nothing to rule it out). If you must get a "real sounding" "human" name for some reason, try "HottestAss4U is a bit awkward to keep using, is there another name I can use?"

    Then again, I don't use a name like HottestAss4U, so in my experience they usually are asking for a "real" name. So I do personally
    consider it a bit inappropriate to ask me "what is your name?" and am likely to be snarky at least. Because my name is on the screen. Someone with a descriptive rather than "human name" probably reacts to the question differently.

    Aaaaand now "HottestAss4U" has embedded itself into my phone's dictionary...
     
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  20. Emberblaze

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2015
    Messages:
    4,004

    My favorite is people that think Ember is "too weird" to call me so they must have my "real name". My real name is equally as weird sooooo... :haha:
     
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  21. Brett M

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2017
    Messages:
    737

    The fact is, depending what country you're from, someone else's name could be very weird to you.
    I mean take my name, it may not be a hard name to say, it may not be horrible, but to a lot of people in countries it will be unusual and weird because it's not a name people use (I could honestly not imagine many having my name in somewhere like Russia, for example - and many other countries).
    I am British and I am around common British chosen/popular names (your Adam, Stephen, Sarah, and so many others) and very rarely (except on cam sites) do I come across other non typically British names, so to me a lot of names used in other countries or cultures and religions will be strange to me if I have never heard it before..

    Ember is definitely an odd one for me but purely because I have literally never heard it before.
     
  22. briandf255

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2018
    Messages:
    109
    Strangely enough, "ember" means "human" in Hungarian, so you could not have picked a more human name than one that literally means "human" in another language. No Hungarian will ever think that you're a bot.

    But Brett has a point... I've had several girls call me "Briand", for example, so depending on how much exposure one has had to English names, what is or isn't a real name may not necessarily be obvious.
     
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  23. AudriTwo

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2014
    Messages:
    4,752
    Also most people are used to calling people by their username. This is more previlent in gamer and online forums. So if someone wants to go by their weird username, so be it.
     
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  24. Sophiestique

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2017
    Messages:
    402
    I use sophie/sofia( to make it more romanian) as name on cam. iif someone asks me if its really my name or whats my real name, i ask them if they wanna be lied. I mean dude ofc im not gonna tell u my real name, if i wanted you and other 202704 people in my room id have used that from start, so if ur gonna get pushy im gonna fake that i give up and tell u another name, ofc fake aswell just to shut u up. Usually guys get my point and let it go. didnt get any pushy ones in 8 years.
     
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  25. JoleneBrody

    JoleneBrody AdultIndieProductions.com
    Cam Model V.I.P. AmberLander Industry Representative

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2010
    Messages:
    10,555
    This thread is an example of just 1 of 2456 reasons a model should always use a stage name that resembles a real human name.
    Not only is it good business branding practice, it overall makes your job a lot less annoying
     
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  26. ForceTen

    Joined:
    May 11, 2017
    Messages:
    2,083
    I have no issues with a name like Ember, or something along those lines as it's easy to say seems along the personal side of a nickname, etc. It's the names such as I used in my original post "HottestAss4U" that is what would lead me to ask a model if she has a name or something else she prefers to be addressed by. If she says someting like "My screen name", I'll then ask her if "Hottie" works. I generally don't like pet names, and some nicknames I don't like saying for various reasons. But, it all depends on what she wants me to address her by.
     
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  27. tekwolf

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2017
    Messages:
    150
    If i may add a side note:
    Never use pictures on your profile or any social media with your performer name thatyou also use on social media with your real name.
    This is also a very easy way to find out a real name and more.
     
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  28. Sophiestique

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2017
    Messages:
    402
    And yet even with a real human name, you get questions like , is your name really Sophie?
     
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  29. Luna Belle

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2015
    Messages:
    2,336
    I just say it's Luna.

    It's not, but it could be if my mom was a big enough weeb.

    If I didn't have an actual name, I'd make one up because I can understand how hard it is to dirty talk to "Bigtitsredhead" or "yesdaddy1998"
     
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  30. curvyredhead

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2012
    Messages:
    3,889
    This
    It's one of my biggest work regret's, and at this point, I just don't wanna rebrand etc.
    But I really agree with this.
     
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