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The Friendly Freeloader

Discussion in 'Ask-a-Model!' started by Larajoy_, Dec 1, 2018.

  1. Larajoy_

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2018
    Messages:
    72
    So I've run into something that didnt bother me at first, but after a full week of it, its starting to tick me off and Im not sure what to do.

    So I started streaming more on chaturbate this last week. The first day I came on after a while break, i picked up a new regular. They're pretty friendly, and like to chat with me a lot. To the point of writing long paragraphs of personal experiences in public chat.

    Theyve dmed me on Twitter to "warn" me about people in my room that I should ban, as theyve seen them being obnoxious in the past. People I personally havent had any particular problems with. They say theyve helped moderate lots of other models rooms before (I've never set them as mod myself)

    Heres the kicker. Theyve been in my room the whole past week every shift, for like 80-90% of the time I'm on. Theyve only tipped me once, like 40tk the first day I was back.

    They get really excited when I do tip requests from other people.

    I normally dont mind people who just like to chat, but they should also understand that I AM there for a purpose. I have a regular on MFC who is similar, but she tips me 10tks here and there to show her appreciation and will sometimes do more when I flash too. And I dont mind her at all!

    I think I put up with it on a thought process of "maybe they will eventually tip for all this time I've put into them".

    I know the obvious solition is to just ban but I honestly would feel bad because well, I've been enabling it for a week.

    What would you do? Has it happened to you?
     
    • Inspiring Topic Inspiring Topic x 1
  2. justjoinedtopost

    In the Dog House

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2015
    Messages:
    3,862
    Doesn't CB have a feature where you can only allow people who have tipped to chat?
     
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  3. Starman

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2017
    Messages:
    105
    I suggest that before banning, you have a frank discussion with them - something like “I’m here to make money and you don’t tip. It’s nice that you’re friendly, but I need to focus on the paying customers. I also need to control the chat in my room. If you want to help keep the chatter going that’s ok, as long is it isn’t too much and all about you. And don’t PM me, I only respond to PMs from tippers.”
     
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  4. a_haze420

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2017
    Messages:
    2,308
    Yeah I would talk to him. If he's tipped once he isnt really a regular. He is literally a friendly freeloader. If talking to him doesnt work make it so only tippers can talk or ban.
     
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  5. ElaySmith

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2010
    Messages:
    2,519
    Since you don’t want to ban, a week is perfect timing for you to step up and set some ground rules/boundaries.... and I was going to write more but starman pretty much said everything I was
    Going to.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  6. Larajoy_

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2018
    Messages:
    72
    Thank you guys!! I think I'm going to copy and paste this haha its perfect. Stern but not rude.

    I would rather not set it as only ppl that have tipped can chat because I do like talking to people even non tippers.. i just dont like being taken advantage of which this kinda feels like.

    I will if I have to though, if this becomes a trend
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  7. AudriTwo

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2014
    Messages:
    4,404
    You have to set boundaries with your veiwers. Do not let someone take advantage of your precious time because they are nice. Quit rewarding their nontipping behavior by continuingly giving them attention. Don't be afraid to ban and stand up for yourself.

    They are already trying to manipulate and control your room. You don't need a moderator, and never trust people who say they are. People lie. They are out for their own needs, not yours. Do not listen to members who suggested to ban certain members. That is your judgement, and could be costing you money.


    I don't mean this to sound offensive, but you have to grow a spine and take control. There are people who will selfishly take advantage of your good nature and wreck you. If you no longer want someone you pm you because they don't tip, tell them. Do not tolerate it on the "maybe they'll tip me tomorrow if I keep putting in the time" what if. Guess what, if they aren't paying now or no longer, chances are they never will.

    It's okay, you are new. You are still trying to figure out your hustle and building your brand. Don't feel guilty because some asshole is taking advantage of you. Take control.
     
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  8. Lunasha

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2018
    Messages:
    387
    I think it's something that is not easy to do (for certain people anyway)...to be able to stand 'against' viewers who act super nice and like all they want is our most complete happiness. I mean, it's way easier to ban or be rude with someone who's already rude or nasty. And when you haven't been camming for long, it's easy to fall for those who are like ''Trust me, I only want to help, I want nothing in exchange, blah blah blah''. (I know it from experience)

    Here we have a good example. The person is not really tipping, they try to control stuff about your room, they're super clingy while you're on cam and assumed they could stay in contact with you through your Twitter DMs. If their goal was really to be helpful to you, they wouldn't be like that. Or they didn't get how this business works and it's not really your problem. You can always explain nicely but even then, I would say to do what feels most comfortable to YOU. What is someone helpful doing when visiting a camgirl's room?

    1. Tipping. Because for most of us the number one reason to be there is not to have fun, it's to make money, whether it's to put food on the table or to have a nice little bonus every month.
    2. Being respectful (I think it should even be put first, because someone who tips but isn't respectful isn't better imo). Which means learning what are the camgirl's boundaries and not disrupting her shows by being attention whore. Which also means to ask her first if she's comfortable with the idea of staying in contact outside of the camsite.
    3. Give advice related to how to manage her business when the model ask about it ONLY. Unless it's something really obvious like ''The music sound really weird, is there a problem with your mic?'' or other technicalities that might not be on purpose.

    I'm personally not really good at being super upfront with people like that, so I either ban them or I make sure to ignore them enough so they understand that I'm not there to entertain them for free.
     
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  9. Larajoy_

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2018
    Messages:
    72
    Thank you so much you guys !!!! I really needed this. I've always been a people pleaser (lol) so this stuff is difficult for me. As Lunasha stated its a lot easier when theyre being overtly disrespectful and rude.

    So I messaged the person, and their (not all that surprising response) was "well sorry if i dont have a zillion tokens like everyone else >.> ppl come and go in ur room but im the 1 tht gets singled out"

    They obviously DONT understand what it means to do this as a business, and the energy it takes. When I've told a couple people what I do, theyre like "oh that sounds easy!" And maybe it looks that way sometimes but especially as an introvert it takes a lot of energy for me to go on all day and try to hold everyones interest and talk and interact for hours on end.

    Do I even respond to them at this point or just drop it and ban of they come to my room? I dont want to continue feeding them my energy.

    Speaking of which, this reminds me that this happens to me ALL THE TIME irl, as I am a strong empath and therefore people love feeding off my energy, often being destructive for me :/
     
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  10. JickyJuly

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2011
    Messages:
    5,243
    They do understand. He knows what he's lacking and what he's getting. Clients on an adult site aren't children or puppies. You don't have to train them. Ban, ignore or keep letting him annoy you for free.
     
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  11. Osyrus

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2018
    Messages:
    44
    Cool topic!
    I totally understand the empath part, I get that in real life too, and it's insanely draining. people are always willing to participate in fulfilling themselves and it's easy for people like you and me to get involved with that and the next thing you know you can't think straight because you're focusing on them not you and too exhausted to realign properly. Then you become a miserable mess and that affects pretty much everybody around you.

    Yeah I can relate to this pretty well as the freeloading friendly viewer and as the Tipper watching it happen.
    unfortunately this happens pretty often and is dependent usually on budget in my case as I am a willing Tipper when i m able to do so. I would find myself in rooms that I thought I was going to like and before I tip I would be chatty with the room and then after a few shows of tipping and chatting I would be sitting quiet realizing I did not like parts of the room and wanted to go but I enjoyed the chat.
    Personally I always felt guilty about sitting in a room quietly after only tipping 1 and let the tippers chat, unless it is quiet then I'm happy to spoil the silence. I mean, chatting you usually are looking for some level of interaction, and if you are being ignored by the model or the viewers, probably not going to be the best experience. But that is partially why some people tip big.

    I think it's especially tough for the model if the person that is free loading is a on and off again Tipper and you are trying to meet a goal of some sort and all you are getting is chat for your effort.
    good chat fills the time but it doesn't keep your refrigerator stocked up, and I think if you were to take a ban or kick to that person you would of course lose out on future support. Even tougher if they are a long-time friendly regular, with good conversation. It really is a tough call to make as the model.

    I believe it falls upon the viewers Respect and comprehension of cam modeling business, and budget combined. I'm pretty sure everybody understands budget, but the respect and comprehension kind of also fall partially on the models room and interaction. partially.
    Of course if the viewer has some knowledge of the effort it takes and knows the model is not there for friends and fun only,and has the ability to participate and doesn't? yeah that's going to be a candidate for removal/ignore in my opinion.

    A good conversation, handshake, and a $5 bill isn't going to get me to go do extra work in my day job, I feel that it's a similar situation here.
    maybe if I go to the grocery store every day and tell the owner how good there outfit looks and treat them to a lunch maybe they can foot half of the bill on my next grocery purchase or maybe just the whole bill.
    I know it's not the same thing but they do share the same principle.

    in regards to giving out too much free attention, I think the viewer getting used to it creates some level of expectations even if it wasn't intended that way. next time they ask and you ignore or decline it's going to have some sort of impact.
    like, there's a lot of different parts of giving out free attention to a non tipping regular or even a freebie to a regular-low-tipping regular, I don't see any long term good reason to giving out any free extra if they are a constant low/non tipper.

    Honestly though, I'm a guy and viewer not a model, and I probably am missing something because I'm seeing it differently than what I am thinkin verses what I see happen. Not talking about anyone specifically, its a trend i notice is all. Also i'm quite old fashioned in my thinking, I don't believe in a free ride.

    my opinion only, but I think doing a lot of free for low tippers ends up creating something false and I feel like you end up feeling like you have to be doing extra to keep them tipping, little things like that start to creep up at least that's what I see with viewers and models interactions.

    No big tipping viewer wants to see a model give priority attention to a viewer that has tipped only 1 , nothing, or a light blue user, over themself. unfortunately I do see it often.
    But I completely understand it is part of the work, and it is the models choice, but I don't imagine it typically ends up in four digit gratitude.
    I'm not a model and I'm not as experienced as a lot of you here, but I wanted to share from the standpoint of a generous Tipper and as Somebody who is new to cam rooms. I don't see it being all about money or control, it's about both sides being treated properly for their efforts which in this case tips and time, and attention go hand-in-hand... otherwise wouldn't this be a dating site or something.. okay I'm getting off topic now... LOL

    Short-quick reply:
    my opinion only, you could always make an announcement to the whole room while the person in question is viewing and an announce prices and rules often, that could make it easier for you to tell them yes or no openly or privately and it wouldn't be as awkward or off-putting When mr. free starts up. And if its just chatting they are doing, just don't reply to them till they start to do whatever it is that makes their contribution worth noticing. I'm sure you will work this out and keep the lot of them satisfied!
     
    • Helpful Helpful x 2
  12. THE MOLLIE MARIE

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2013
    Messages:
    2,221
    People who aren't paying you aren't regulars. That's all I have to say about that.
     
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  13. Osyrus

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2018
    Messages:
    44
    God damn this is a great reply. Honestly, I cant disagree.
     
  14. Larajoy_

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2018
    Messages:
    72
    Thanks, I appreciate youre input from the other side of it!!

    Ive never had an issue with non tippers bothering me til now. Like you pointed out, sometimes its nice having someone to talk to when its quiet!

    Ive had a couple people in the past frequent my room once or twice a week, and just pop in to chat but dont tip. Yeah I wish they would, obviously lol, but its fine.

    But this person, I have literally spent at least 10 hours this week talking to them. Theyve been in my room hours per shift every time I've been online, talking constantly.

    And the difference between that and just sitting quietly is that Im giving them so much more of my energy than what you might call my "default", that they would get otherwise if they were just chillin and watching.

    A non tipping room is frustrating, but they also get what they get by not tipping. The tippers are the ones who want more and value my time and energy for it.

    I also understand that not everyone has the money all the time. But I dont believe thats an excuse to expect me to still be willing to chat with you hours a day because that one time you threw 2$ my way. Keep me company here and there but dont take up ALL my time please haha

    The way you describe what you choose to do sounds a lot more respectful of the models time. Even if its low tips just to chat, it shows them that you care :)
     
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  15. Larajoy_

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2018
    Messages:
    72
    Truuuuuu hahaha i will remember this
     
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  16. AudriTwo

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2014
    Messages:
    4,404
    ban his manipulative ass. he clearly doesn't respect your time. he could tipped you like 20 tokens and apologize. explaining funds are tight. but no, he acted like a whiny bitch.
     
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  17. Larajoy_

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2018
    Messages:
    72
    Thank you for putting my feelings about his response into words haha

    Ive decided ill def be banning him. I'm just tired of it at this point lol
     
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  18. Osyrus

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2018
    Messages:
    44
    I hope you decide to tell him why, so we can see his post here, complaining and mad he got banned for not tipping :joyful:... or maybe it will be more entertaining if you don't tell him :hilarious:
     
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  19. THE MOLLIE MARIE

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2013
    Messages:
    2,221
    Glad you came to that decision, I bet you will feel relieved once you have done so! Personally, I think any performer should ban a member at the point which they start making you dread logging in to do your job because you'll have to interact with them. No exceptions. You will lose money not only wasting time on him, but because you are also teaching other members that you are okay with this freeloading behavior and that they don't have to pay for your time, and are likely not putting forth your best effort because of the energy drain they cause. The pros of keeping someone like this around on the off chance that they might become an active tipper are far outweighed by the cons when you look at the bigger picture of how they will impact your business.

    If he wants to talk to people for free, he can go to meetup.com and find someone open to friendly interaction that is not based on a monetary exchange. Wasting your time because it's not within his budget to pay you is the opposite of friendly! This is not the kind of "friend" that you want or need, ya know? Even if he was your friend, do your friends come to your workplace to distract you from making money? :shake:
     
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  20. Osyrus

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2018
    Messages:
    44
    I get why this is a option, I dont get why some models use it.
    Some of the rooms that aren't huge, in my opinion, this could end up stopping a potential contribution.
    When I am on a dummy account and browsing, I see a model that I want to engage, my grey account can't say hi or see how the models interaction clicks with mine, 90% of the time I won't go back with a dark purple account.
    Yes sometimes I use a dummy account in a less popular room so im not instantly noticed and PM just because im higher potential. The alternative is watch silently and wait to see if theres some interaction that is relevant to my interest and that can be way too time consuming sometimes. I am not on my grey accounts but maybe a dozen times a month if that, but I have had the experience of ignoring the filtered rooms maybe 20 times. It's kinda relevant but not often enough for me to have a super strong opinion towards the filter. I stick with 1 room anyway these days

    I wouldn't change the option to filter chat like this though, i think it has value.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  21. Larajoy_

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2018
    Messages:
    72
    Thank you!!! I love that last point haha so tru about the workplace thing.

    I decided also to not reply to him, trying to type a response was stesssing me out because like someone else mentioned he likely knows what hes doing and im not gunna just magically change his opinion, he will just keep arguing his side and drain more energy from me
     
    • Hugs Hugs x 3
  22. Mila_

    Cam Model

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2015
    Messages:
    3,428
    I am someone who enjoys people’s energy in chat regardless of tipping so I would never kick or scold someone simply for not tipping... I believe they can contribute in other ways through cheering and interaction but:

    1) Non-tippers should never expect 1 on 1 attention from me or from the chat.

    2) Non-tippers must always be kind to me and others and must have something positive to add to the room

    If any of the above is not met, then I am faced with a choice between banning or talking to them. I go by heart on that one, depending on how much I like the person.

    Your friend fails at 1) and 2) and I would probably ban
     
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  23. callmepete

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2018
    Messages:
    78
    I think where he crossed a line is when he started 'helping'.

    "Oh ban this guy he's a known asshole." That probably means this person called him out for being a freeloader at some point.
    "I've been a moderator before." This is his way of convincing you it's totally normal to have a guy show up every day, tip once, and wield the all mighty [perceived' power of a mod lol.

    MY humble opinion has always been that ones participation in goals should be parallel to ones participation in the room. Don't tip 40 tokens once every 2 weeks and then never shut up in the room. I thought this was perfectly stated.
    . If I'm running a news stand I'm sure as hell not going to let some guy hang out reading the papers all day for free running his mouth about other customers and not buying a damn thing. ;)
     
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  24. ZeraEve

    Joined:
    Saturday
    Messages:
    14
    I totally agree with this! I have a few friendly freeloaders, and I don't mind them, but they know not to expect me to PM with them back and forth. Sometimes having someone in the public chat constantly talking to you is nice, and gives others a chance to chime in so it can be good for your room. But if they start wanting your direct attention through messages and PMs I would say something.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2

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