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The (negative?) impact of regular big spenders in rooms

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Aug 3, 2022
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Minus the language barrier issue, I had a guy who did this to me. He spent probably $40,000 in tokens on me and would say it was cool just sit there and enjoy it. I started to get really mad about it because it was stopping me from showing that I did the actions I was tipped for and for anyone new in the room it looked like I was flaking because he always said it in a tip note. I banned him when I noticed that people were coming in and immediately leaving when they saw he was in the room. They were like "fine let her have her time with him, he'll go away and I'll come back" but the compounded problem was people felt that because he tipped all of that I already made enough money for that day and they didn't need to open their wallet to keep the show going.

It's obviously up to her what to do about it but maybe point her to this forum so she can read these posts?
Yeah, I think this model likes having a big spender but there are signs she may not love all of it. When he was tipping with the gibberish tip notes she sent him what amounted to a “wtf” emoji.

And he also turned his attention to the wrong user today. There is this user who comes into her room for 10-15 minutes every day and flirts with her and who tips a little bit every day with these very eloquent tip notes praising her (in Spanish). The model absolutely loves him (honestly, I kind of have a crush on him haha). So this user comes in and starts flirting with the model (it is pretty overtly sexual to be fair) and the new big tipper starts harassing him telling him not to get too sexual without tipping. The longtime regular says to the dude (and this may not be exact wording but pretty close): “Respectfully, I do not need you to tell me how to conduct myself in <modelname>’s room. She and I are friends and if she has a problem with me she will tell me and I will beg forgiveness. You can mind your own business.” Then the model (politely) told the new dude to back off the longtime regular
 
Jul 11, 2019
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So I have my room that I stick with on Chaturbate.
For some months now there's been a guy visiting almost every night and he's spending insane amounts.
One of the highest spenders on the whole site.

Since he started coming I have seen a lot of other regulars visiting a lot less or even stopped showing up at all.
Some of them have expressed that they are annoyed by the attention that they feel like he gets or that they feel like what they have to offer is embarrassing compared to his tips.
This seem to have resulted in a room were only this guy is tipping like crazy and everyone else is leaning back and enjoying the show or fuel their hate in silence.
The model is obviously making pretty good money but she is annoyed by the inactivity of the other guys in the room.
Personally I am still tipping but I am starting to feel like having both this guy tipping tons and the other guys still being active is close to impossible.

Have you guys experienced something similiar?
How would you feel as a viewer or a model in this scenario?

Some people will understand what this does. Some people will not.
Every room has its chemistry amongst members. If someone throws a hissy fit because of a regular whale, then they can move on. Or just keep silent.


Personally I just ignore the whales. I tip what I can and keep it fun for my co-room acquaintances.
 
Jun 12, 2022
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I'm also in the camp of "happy for the model" but I must admit there's a part of me that's conflicted based on recent experience. There's a new guy visiting my friends room recently who throws a lot of cash around. He's operating at the "send me home for the day" level of tipping so it's big sums. Obviously I totally understand why he's being prioritised in terms of conversation but I worry that my interest will start to wane if he's a permanent fixture. I tip regularly and (I think) I tip well enough but not at that level. I've had to ask myself whether it's jealousy, but I'm not sure it is. I know there are lots of other guys who come and chat and that has never bothered me but this one totally dominates the room. It's not a lot of fun to not be able to get a word in edgeways. Any tips? Do I just wait this one out or gracefully step back?
So a wee update on this one. This guy has been getting pushier and pushier in recent days. I can't turn up without him being there. Now granted, he's probably saying the same about me.

He's completely dominating the room at this point despite the fact that he's not really throwing huge amounts of money around. It's almost like he's living off the fact that he made a big "go home" payment once upon a time and she's almost got to entertain him in case he does it again.

Tonight I completely blew up at her and him. She streams on two platforms. I predominantly visit one and him the other, although I go to the second one for privates with her because she earns more there. The other night I visited her and she got a bit upset about life stuff. I stayed with her and chatted and comforted her. I happened to mention that again tonight on platform 1. Unbeknown to me, he is lurking as a guest in platform 1 and copies my chat over to the public chat in platform 2 to prove to her how clever and invisible he is. It was a private conversation. Yes, I understand it was in a public platform but I consider it a huge dick move to copy it to the public chat on an entirely different platform.

Thing is, the job is fucked whatever way you look at it. She has to continue to pander to him because he spends or gives the illusion that he might spend. However, I think I can see where it's going to go. He's going to control that room within weeks and pretty much all of the smaller regulars are going to end up stepping away because it's too hard to get a word in or compete.
 
Nov 3, 2022
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So a wee update on this one. This guy has been getting pushier and pushier in recent days. I can't turn up without him being there. Now granted, he's probably saying the same about me.

He's completely dominating the room at this point despite the fact that he's not really throwing huge amounts of money around. It's almost like he's living off the fact that he made a big "go home" payment once upon a time and she's almost got to entertain him in case he does it again.

Tonight I completely blew up at her and him. She streams on two platforms. I predominantly visit one and him the other, although I go to the second one for privates with her because she earns more there. The other night I visited her and she got a bit upset about life stuff. I stayed with her and chatted and comforted her. I happened to mention that again tonight on platform 1. Unbeknown to me, he is lurking as a guest in platform 1 and copies my chat over to the public chat in platform 2 to prove to her how clever and invisible he is. It was a private conversation. Yes, I understand it was in a public platform but I consider it a huge dick move to copy it to the public chat on an entirely different platform.

Thing is, the job is fucked whatever way you look at it. She has to continue to pander to him because he spends or gives the illusion that he might spend. However, I think I can see where it's going to go. He's going to control that room within weeks and pretty much all of the smaller regulars are going to end up stepping away because it's too hard to get a word in or compete.
If you right click his name, you can ignore him. Try it. I do not understand anyone getting upset about a model taking money from a guy and then turning around and being disappointed when she doesn't get what she deserves.

We've heard the insults, the demands, the insane requests...WE HAVE TO PAY OUR BILLS and every time someone dips out on the room because of someone else's behavior it HURTS US. I can't control who buys tickets or sits in the front row or decides to come in and out a thousand times a day with doing nothing at all, but I ALWAYS have to believe that unless someone has outright insulted me past my point of like "that was a joke" I need to give them a chance to redeem themselves.

Negging is a real thing and it can be profitable. It's not our fault guys are fucked in the head.
 
Jul 11, 2019
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@misterical

He sounds like a misogynist. Just because he has money he controls her?
Seen this happen far to often in the cam world.

I suggest you move on from her room/s. It may feel like it hurts for a short bit. But the world goes on.
 
Nov 3, 2022
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The Chaturbate algorithm for page rank goes like this:

- Number of registered non-gray accounts in the room
- Number of total registered viewers in the room
- Active tipping
-Active tipping by people who have spent a lot of tokens previously

When it hits the sweet spot it moves a room from page 64 to 10. So forth and so on...Leaving us in the dust because you don't like someone in chat is akin to taking your ball and going home and all your doing is hurting the broadcaster who is actually doing nothing wrong.
 
Jun 12, 2022
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When things are smooth and everyone is just enjoying the show and not focused on what anyone else is saying, just what you're doing on cam... *CHEF'S KISS*
Thing is, I've never given a fuck about the other guys. I've always played nice with them. Cutting and pasting a private conversation from one platform to the other though, well that to me is a fucking liberty and it shows exactly where he sees himself in the hierarchy of members in the room. Myself and all the other members have always kind of looked on each other as equals but not this guy.
 
Jun 12, 2022
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If you right click his name, you can ignore him. Try it. I do not understand anyone getting upset about a model taking money from a guy and then turning around and being disappointed when she doesn't get what she deserves.

We've heard the insults, the demands, the insane requests...WE HAVE TO PAY OUR BILLS and every time someone dips out on the room because of someone else's behavior it HURTS US. I can't control who buys tickets or sits in the front row or decides to come in and out a thousand times a day with doing nothing at all, but I ALWAYS have to believe that unless someone has outright insulted me past my point of like "that was a joke" I need to give them a chance to redeem themselves.

Negging is a real thing and it can be profitable. It's not our fault guys are fucked in the head.
I genuinely can't tell whether you're backing me up here or criticising me.
 

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Thing is, I've never given a fuck about the other guys. I've always played nice with them. Cutting and pasting a private conversation from one platform to the other though, well that to me is a fucking liberty and it shows exactly where he sees himself in the hierarchy of members in the room. Myself and all the other members have always kind of looked on each other as equals but not this guy.
This guy feeds off the drama and issues he creates. Best possible response is to remain unbothered.

It'll blow up eventually. Vote w ur wallet...
 
Nov 3, 2022
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I genuinely can't tell whether you're backing me up here or criticising me.
I'm defending the model who lets guys get out of pocket when they're drunk/high and stupid and taking their money hand over fist. Just say "good for you girl".
 
Nov 3, 2022
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Full disclosure I've had about 6 beers, but we're not your babysitters. We have to deal with TOS and everyone's fantasies and then you want us to be concerned about whether or not someone in the room pissed you off and it's our fault? Nah.
 
Aug 3, 2022
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The Chaturbate algorithm for page rank goes like this:

- Number of registered non-gray accounts in the room
- Number of total registered viewers in the room
- Active tipping
-Active tipping by people who have spent a lot of tokens previously

When it hits the sweet spot it moves a room from page 64 to 10. So forth and so on...Leaving us in the dust because you don't like someone in chat is akin to taking your ball and going home and all your doing is hurting the broadcaster who is actually doing nothing wrong.
But the other side of that is if you are a user and a room isn’t fun for you anymore (for whatever reason), you are under no obligation to stay and tip. Why pay for something that isn’t enjoyable?

When I think about the models I visit regularly now, there are a couple I am invested in/like enough that I will try to work a lot of issues out. There are several others that if the experience gets crappy I probably would just leave and find another room
 
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Nov 3, 2022
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But the other side of that is if you are a user and a room isn’t fun for you anymore (for whatever reason), you are under no obligation to stay and tip. Why pay for something that isn’t enjoyable?

When I think about the models I visit regularly now, there are a couple I am invested in/like enough that I will try to work a lot of issues out. There are several others that if the experience gets crappy I probably would just leave and find another room
That's fine but it's not an airport, we don't need to know the reason why you left. Just go.
 
Aug 3, 2022
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That's fine but it's not an airport, we don't need to know the reason why you left. Just go.
That’s fair. I would just say there are many models who if you did that they would come find you and ask what the deal was anyway
 
Jun 12, 2022
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I'm defending the model who lets guys get out of pocket when they're drunk/high and stupid and taking their money hand over fist. Just say "good for you girl".
And I was never criticising the model. She is my friend. She is the one put in the impossible situation.
 
Aug 3, 2022
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This guy feeds off the drama and issues he creates. Best possible response is to remain unbothered.

It'll blow up eventually. Vote w ur wallet...
Yep. It’s like the users who take pictures of other users tipping in Model A’s room and send them to Model B to try to create a wedge. It’s purely about creating drama and trying to cause triangulation issues.

Those guys often flame out because their dysfunction shows in other ways too
 
Apr 21, 2020
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Leaving us in the dust because you don't like someone in chat is akin to taking your ball and going home and all your doing is hurting the broadcaster who is actually doing nothing wrong.

To me, this is the flipside of a valid talking point that often pops up here. Which is the idea that members need to remember cam rooms are for entertainment, and treat it as the client-entertainer paid business arrangement that it is. Models owe members no loyalty, and vice versa.

But in order for that to be a fair arrangement, there can’t be this idea that a member has done something unfair to a model just for ending his room visits for a few weeks/months/forever.

Models can and should run their rooms however they want. Members can and should spend their entertainment money however they want. Models don’t need a reason to ban a member. Members don’t need a reason to leave a room.

But if I leave, and if my reason for leaving is that another member in that room irritates me, and I choose to leave quietly (that is the key… no meltdowns or long goodbyes, or even short goodbyes), I don’t feel like I’ve neglected some obligation to that model.

There is never a guarantee that I’ll be back for the next show anyway. Just like there’s no guarantee that the models I enjoy won’t just vanish when life takes them in a new direction. It’s just the way it is, for both sides.
 
Oct 30, 2015
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But the other side of that is if you are a user and a room isn’t fun for you anymore (for whatever reason), you are under no obligation to stay and tip. Why pay for something that isn’t enjoyable?

When I think about the models I visit regularly now, there are a couple I am invested in/like enough that I will try to work a lot of issues out. There are several others that if the experience gets crappy I probably would just leave and find another room
That's really what this entire issue boils down to. There is no right or wrong as far as the model or the member in most of the examples. It comes down to whether staying is worth it for the member.
 
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Dec 4, 2020
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So a wee update on this one. This guy has been getting pushier and pushier in recent days. I can't turn up without him being there. Now granted, he's probably saying the same about me.

He's completely dominating the room at this point despite the fact that he's not really throwing huge amounts of money around. It's almost like he's living off the fact that he made a big "go home" payment once upon a time and she's almost got to entertain him in case he does it again.

Tonight I completely blew up at her and him. She streams on two platforms. I predominantly visit one and him the other, although I go to the second one for privates with her because she earns more there. The other night I visited her and she got a bit upset about life stuff. I stayed with her and chatted and comforted her. I happened to mention that again tonight on platform 1. Unbeknown to me, he is lurking as a guest in platform 1 and copies my chat over to the public chat in platform 2 to prove to her how clever and invisible he is. It was a private conversation. Yes, I understand it was in a public platform but I consider it a huge dick move to copy it to the public chat on an entirely different platform.

Thing is, the job is fucked whatever way you look at it. She has to continue to pander to him because he spends or gives the illusion that he might spend. However, I think I can see where it's going to go. He's going to control that room within weeks and pretty much all of the smaller regulars are going to end up stepping away because it's too hard to get a word in or compete.
It's not always easy to just ignore the changes that come about when a big personality inserts itself in a room.
But guys like this often get off on the power plays, and seeing the way they can create a gap and then drive a wedge into it.
You said (above) that you 'blew up at her and him'. Probably exactly what he wants, since it puts you against them, and in turn unites them (is this your model friend that you wrote of?).
You can't control what this guy does, but you can decide if you're going to let his behaviour control yours.
 
Jun 12, 2022
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When things are smooth and everyone is just enjoying the show and not focused on what anyone else is saying, just what you're doing on cam... *CHEF'S KISS*
Yes and no. On a site like Chaturbate where there are potentially dozens of viewers then you can do that. When there are 3 of you in the room and one voice is dominating it all then it's much more noticeable.
 
Jun 12, 2022
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Full disclosure I've had about 6 beers, but we're not your babysitters. We have to deal with TOS and everyone's fantasies and then you want us to be concerned about whether or not someone in the room pissed you off and it's our fault? Nah.
I didn't remotely say it was her fault. And this isn't really about the money either, which I'm sure is the next thing that people will be thinking. At the same time as all this was happening, another guy came in and dropped $100. Couldn't have been happier for her. The difference is that this guy was respectful.

If I'm having a one to one conversation with a model in one platform, particularly of a personal nature, then I don't think I'm overstepping the mark to expect that a third party doesn't come along and cut and paste that conversation into the public chat on a second platform. It's just common decency not to do that. I have an account on both of these platforms. If I'd wanted my messages to appear on the second platform then I'd have posted them there myself. The guy was posting my messages to show how "clever" he was that he could see everything that was going on in one platform without being visible to the model as being in her room.

Then a whole stream of shit in the chat about how he used to be a hacker. Fuck off. He sat there with a guest account. Hardly "Wargames" level hacking, is it?
 
Jun 12, 2022
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It's not always easy to just ignore the changes that come about when a big personality inserts itself in a room.
But guys like this often get off on the power plays, and seeing the way they can create a gap and then drive a wedge into it.
You said (above) that you 'blew up at her and him'. Probably exactly what he wants, since it puts you against them, and in turn unites them (is this your model friend that you wrote of?).
You can't control what this guy does, but you can decide if you're going to let his behaviour control yours.
That's exactly what it is. I've no doubt that he'll be back in the room tonight and he'll raise the topic of my reaction and portray me as overly sensitive.
 
Dec 4, 2020
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That's exactly what it is. I've no doubt that he'll be back in the room tonight and he'll raise the topic of my reaction and portray me as overly sensitive.
By predicting what he'll do, you're already working yourself up to having a shitty experience though, which will be apparent to those who know you by your changed behaviour.
And if you're provoked into an overreaction, he comes out of it looking squeaky clean while you may appear to be the problem.
 
Jun 12, 2022
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he comes out of it looking squeaky clean while you may appear to be the problem.
I'm lucky. I know the friendship thing has been kicked to death on another thread but despite all of the doom laden predictions, after more than 6 months, we're still close. It means that we can each air grievances without fear of things falling apart. So we've already spoken on Whatsapp today. She's explained things from a model's perspective and she also totally understands why I was angry. So we're good.

The guy is an asshole though, and the problem of how I reconcile visiting her with his constant, arrogant presence is still not one I've solved in my mind. He is there for literally hours on end and he's not tipping for all of that time either before anyone jumps to conclusions.
 
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Mar 6, 2022
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That's exactly what it is. I've no doubt that he'll be back in the room tonight and he'll raise the topic of my reaction and portray me as overly sensitive.

I'm not criticising you, misterical, and I get it that you are close with her but if I may presume to make a suggestion, you may want to put it in perspective. This is just some asshole who happens to be cashed up atm, apparently. He'll be on his way at some point. Personally, I would likely just drop in say briefly to say hi and tip her there or offline for the time being.
 
Jun 12, 2022
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I'm not criticising you, misterical, and I get it that you are close with her but if I may presume to make a suggestion, you may want to put it in perspective. This is just some asshole who happens to be cashed up atm, apparently. He'll be on his way at some point. Personally, I would likely just drop in say briefly to say hi and tip her there or offline for the time being.
Absolutely. I don't think this guy is a short haul asshole though. He's subscribed to the fan club etc. He's one step short of a t-shirt with her face on it already and it's only been about 3 weeks. I'm not insecure about my friendship with her because I know how strong that is but while we talk offline a lot, time differences mean that the optimal time to interact with her is when she is working. It's kind of difficult with such a dominant presence in the room. While I've been visiting for a long time, I like to think that I've faded into the background when needed. My usual approach is offline tips or something from her tip menu and often a private so I'll continue with that approach but basically my skin bristles as soon as I enter the room and he's there. I've no issue with the big tippers. I always celebrate her successes there but it's the arrogance of the guy that rattles me. You know the type where it's more about swinging their dick and dominating the room than it is about the show.
 
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Sep 29, 2022
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Absolutely. I don't think this guy is a short haul asshole though. He's subscribed to the fan club etc. He's one step short of a t-shirt with her face on it already and it's only been about 3 weeks. I'm not insecure about my friendship with her because I know how strong that is but while we talk offline a lot, time differences mean that the optimal time to interact with her is when she is working. It's kind of difficult with such a dominant presence in the room. While I've been visiting for a long time, I like to think that I've faded into the background when needed. My usual approach is offline tips or something from her tip menu and often a private so I'll continue with that approach but basically my skin bristles as soon as I enter the room and he's there. I've no issue with the big tippers. I always celebrate her successes there but it's the arrogance of the guy that rattles me. You know the type where it's more about swinging their dick and dominating the room than it is about the show.

I’m sure you don’t need me, or anyone else to tell you that change can be hard; especially if it upsets a dynamic that you’ve been enjoying and it sounds like you’ve been visiting her room for a good while.

At the end of the day anyone can come in and tip, as long as they obey the rules. I’m sure you’ll be there supporting long after this arrogant guy has moved on.
 
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Sep 29, 2022
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Conversely though recently I’ve been the only who really tips in my favourite model’s room.

Got to the point last night when she stopped the show and said:

“Really guys… only Maxi, AGAIN..?”

…apparently there were 10 other members there with tokens.

Immediately announced all future shows would be ticketed.

Fair play.