The usual man problems

[Sir Galahad]

I am, one of those 50+ (60+ actually) married guys who hasn't had sex in 20 years and has been enchanted by the apparent interest of beautiful young girls in my cock. I really never knew it was so big haha
I could post about many of the problems I face as a camgirl addict.
Falling in love / becoming obsessed with models.
Spending too much money.
The deceit involved in getting money to buy tokens without my wife finding out, secret bank accounts, secret jobs et.
The hours and hours I spend looking at young pussy.
The embarassment of losing my hard on when a girl is doing her best to make me cum.
The slightly sordid secret meetings in the bathroom at work or when we have visitors staying.
I have a medical condition and the medication I that makes me horny all the time, it also causes obsessive behaviour. I stand no chance.
At the moment I have one particular girl who I focus my obsession on. She says she loves me but she says that to everyone. I said that I love her but explained that I love her online character not her real self who I don't know. It's like being in love with a film star. I was going to liken it to the love I have for my dog but though better of it. Yes, we do all the usual things, we chat a lot. Sometime my cam is on for hours often just showing my face but more often my cock. I like seeing her cum as i pile on the tokens. Here's a problem I could do with some help with. How does one wank and tip at the same time. I thought of asking her to pause the lush while i load hundreds of 1's 5's 10's and the occasional 50 and 100. Then when I'm ready she could unpause and enjoy the flood.
My biggest problem is seeing her perform for other users, she sometimes seems to have more fun with a random stranger than with me. We have worked out a sign language code that she uses when with others to signify that she is actually performing for me. That makes me feel better but it's not easy to come to terms with. I don't mind when I team up with other users to give her a real good orgasm but do not like it when one person takes her away. I have tried spying on her private shows but it really turns me off. Anyone else struggle with these emotions?
I have a second girl who I sometimes visit when girl number one is not online. To put this in perspective, I go to bed at about 9, recently 8. I check on the sites, no masturbating, I have accounts in 5. I sleep for a couple of hours and around 12 I wake up and visit girl 2 for an hour or two. Another side effect of my condition is sleeplessness. Another 2 hours of sleep and girl one is online 0400 I stay with her masturbating the whole time with my cam on. I got to work at 0800 until 1500. Get home and check the sites plus do a little work at my computer then have dinner and watch tv with my wife. We sleep in different bedrooms by the way. I have a busy job (2 actually) and I am also into a particular sport that I train for 3 times a week. I'm pretty good at it.
Why have I written this?
Men just don't talk about this stuff and I would like to know if there are others out there who share the same concerns and live a similar life. I would also like to hear from models. What makes models latch onto me, there have been several. Is it just the tokens or do you like having somone to chat with during the lonely hours when there are few users logged in or lots but no one is saying anything.
So, what's my problem? I don't have one. I'm just having fun. I like watching the girls and I like them watching me. I think they are doing a great service to men like me who thought their sex life had ended with the birth of their 3rd child. I know my cock isn't really that big (7" by the way) but i love it when i get told that it is.
I will never meet these girls but if i did i would take them out for dinner rather than have sex with them.
Keep up the good work girls your efforts are greatly appreciated.


Sir Galahad is one of the Knights of Camalot by the way.

 

[Marceline]

Is it just the tokens or do you like having somone to chat with during the lonely hours when there are few users logged in or lots but no one is saying anything.

Depends on the model, but for most, yes, it's the tokens. If you stopped tipping I can assure you, you wouldn't be getting the same kind of attention. There's also models who enjoy having someone talk to them in their rooms when it's a slow day.


Also, what's up with guys suddenly coming on the forum to make posts talking about their cocks and sexual prowess? I don't claim to speak for everyone, but I highly doubt there's many people on here who care about random online dude's cock sizes or how often they fuck (or how they have to turn down strippers because they are worried about giving them to many orgasms). We have to hear about dicks we don't give a shit about when we are working, why do we want to also hear about it here, when we're not working? And I'm sure the men who come on this forum also don't care about other men's sex lives.

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

god i remember having customers like you. I really fucking hated it lol.

 

[piercedcock78]

How does one wank and tip at the same time. I thought of asking her to pause the lush while i load hundreds of 1's 5's 10's and the occasional 50 and 100. Then when I'm ready she could unpause and enjoy the flood.

My biggest problem is seeing her perform for other users, she sometimes seems to have more fun with a random stranger than with me. We have worked out a sign language code that she uses when with others to signify that she is actually performing for me. That makes me feel better but it's not easy to come to terms with. I don't mind when I team up with other users to give her a real good orgasm but do not like it when one person takes her away. I have tried spying on her private shows but it really turns me off. Anyone else struggle with these emotions?

Why have I written this?
Men just don't talk about this stuff and I would like to know if there are others out there who share the same concerns and live a similar life. I would also like to hear from models. What makes models latch onto me, there have been several. Is it just the tokens or do you like having somone to chat with during the lonely hours when there are few users logged in or lots but no one is saying anything.

So, what's my problem? I don't have one. I'm just having fun. I like watching the girls and I like them watching me. I think they are doing a great service to men like me who thought their sex life had ended with the birth of their 3rd child. I know my cock isn't really that big (7" by the way) but i love it when i get told that it is.
I will never meet these girls but if i did i would take them out for dinner rather than have sex with them.
Keep up the good work girls your efforts are greatly appreciated.


Sir Galahad is one of the Knights of Camalot by the way.

Well, without knowing what site that she is on, if there is a way to go private or better exclusive you would be paying her without having to tip and wank.

I have clients who do this and then they tip me additional after the show.

If you do an exclusive (provided they offer that on her site) you can be assured that no one else will be coming in.

As long as you always realize it for what it is (a fantasy...specifically your fantasy) you will have a fun time and never be let down. The only problem that comes in is when a client thinks that it is anything beyond just that.

I have one regular who is transitioning. She found me as a way to help to prepare her to go out into the real world and pays me for a boyfriend experience. She understands it for what it is and I am glad that I can help her out.

Another client that I had, his husband was a police officer who died in the line of duty. He had not got off at all since his husband's passing (even by way of masturbation) and frankly he wasn't sure that he was even looking to get off that night. I asked him why that he visited sites like the one that I am on. He said something very profound without realizing it. He said, "I'm just filling a void."

In a way, that is what everyone does at some level. We all have a void that we are trying to fill. Some people turn to literature, music, hobbies and other people turn to people like me. At the end of the day it is whatever makes you happy.

I just try to give everyone a fun and positive experience.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

These are not usual man problems, all I'm gonna say for now.

 

[Derek_Zoolander]

It just sounds like the post is just another opportunity for the OP to turn himself on with his hobby when prevented from actively participating. He probably wrote this on his lunch break.

 

[Deleted member 57737]

And I'm sure the men who come on this forum also don't care about other men's sex lives.

Thanks for pointing that out.

 

[piercedcock78]

Thanks for pointing that out.

I kind of took it as a guy who knows he has a medical problem, sees cam models as a way of dealing with it, didn't take himself too seriously and wanted to thank the cam girls for what they do.

Hence my response to him in the way that I did.

That said, in general, I do understand the sentiment as far as guys just coming on to brag and talk about their sex lives to try to impress someone on here.

I hope that makes sense. lol.

 

[cbhours]

I am, one of those 50+ (60+ actually) married guys who hasn't had sex in 20 years

Thats a usual man problem?

 

[melanieoncam]

I always wonder if these types of men put the same energy into their marriage they did into writing posts like this if they would have these issues.

 

[Sir Galahad]

Wow, I didn't expect that. I was just being honest.
That has certainly given me a reality check.
I'm not even a sad fucker, just a sad wanker.
I need to go away and think about my life.
Thanks for the boot up the arse.

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

Wow, I didn't expect that. I was just being honest.
That has certainly given me a reality check.
I'm not even a sad fucker, just a sad wanker.
I need to go away and think about my life.
Thanks for the boot up the arse.

you're not paying us to lie to you. You speak *Horribly* about women. The way you said "Young Pussy" made my skin crawl. You've admitted to being addicted. Addiction makes people do horrible things to the people they love. A therapist will allow you space to be honest, but not judge you. Here, you won't get that. I actually don't think you were being honest in this post though. Not really. You're repeating a story you tell yourself about how awesome and wonderful this addiction is and how you you don't have a problem.
Tell your wife the truth - she doesn't deserve this.

The hours and hours I spend looking at young pussy.

was going to liken it to the love I have for my dog but though better of it.

The deceit involved in getting money to buy tokens without my wife finding out, secret bank accounts, secret jobs et.

 

[AudriTwo]

This sounds like a you problem. Not a man problem.

Please take your money to therapy for you and possibly couples counseling with your wife. You know you are hurting your wife if she finds out or you wouldnt be so secretive.

Men do talk about their emotions and they should. Thinking that its okay for your gender to do is toxic masculinity and why you are probably experiencing these problems. You have used cammodels to fill emotional voids, and now you are addicted to them because it feels so good.

Its a new year man. Man up and go to therapy. Its gonna take a lot of work. But if you dont want to living in this toxic situation you created, you can either fix it or continue being miserable.

Do it for yourself and your wife. Because im guessing you married her because you love and care about her.

 

[Sir Galahad]

You are right, the real me would not even use the word p*****. I have become a monster and didn't realise it. It is also right that I am not being honest, my work is suffering, my health is suffering and my mind is suffering. It is true that the medication I am on has this strange side effect of causing addiction. People have even won court cases and won compensation for the money they have spent gambling but I can't hide behind this. Before I started with camgirls I managed to channel this into positive things, work, hobbies etc. I must get back into that mindset.
Reading your responses has been very painful, I can only apologise for my post but I am not sorry I wrote it.
Kicking an addiction is not an easy thing bit I can get help. Luckily I live in a country with a good healthcare system and I will ask my neurologist to refer me to a psychologist. The way I am going will lead to a very sad retirement if I don't.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

Take care. It sounds like you need to address where you are prioritizing energy in your relationships, and find a healthy outlet for intimacy. These are real problems and shouldn't go unaddressed. I hope you follow through with finding someone professional to talk to about this stuff so you can work it all out.

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

You are right, the real me would not even use the word p*****. I have become a monster and didn't realise it. It is also right that I am not being honest, my work is suffering, my health is suffering and my mind is suffering. It is true that the medication I am on has this strange side effect of causing addiction. People have even won court cases and won compensation for the money they have spent gambling but I can't hide behind this. Before I started with camgirls I managed to channel this into positive things, work, hobbies etc. I must get back into that mindset.
Reading your responses has been very painful, I can only apologise for my post but I am not sorry I wrote it.
Kicking an addiction is not an easy thing bit I can get help. Luckily I live in a country with a good healthcare system and I will ask my neurologist to refer me to a psychologist. The way I am going will lead to a very sad retirement if I don't.

I appreciate this response and I'm happy to read it. I hope you follow through and get some help. Remember that you can shop around for a good fit with psychiatric care.

 

[piercedcock78]

You are right, the real me would not even use the word p*****. I have become a monster and didn't realise it. It is also right that I am not being honest, my work is suffering, my health is suffering and my mind is suffering. It is true that the medication I am on has this strange side effect of causing addiction. People have even won court cases and won compensation for the money they have spent gambling but I can't hide behind this. Before I started with camgirls I managed to channel this into positive things, work, hobbies etc. I must get back into that mindset.
Reading your responses has been very painful, I can only apologise for my post but I am not sorry I wrote it.
Kicking an addiction is not an easy thing bit I can get help. Luckily I live in a country with a good healthcare system and I will ask my neurologist to refer me to a psychologist. The way I am going will lead to a very sad retirement if I don't.

I also hope that you seek help.

Likewise, you have taken a big first step in admitting that you have a problem.

One thing to remember: You are not your addiction (whatever that addiction may be, cam models, gambling, the like).

An addiction is an action that you choose. You are also not your actions.

Just as you chose to engage in an addictive pattern, you can also choose to take action to get out of it.

It sounds like you have taken the first step.

Please understand that I am not a doctor, however, if you think that the medication that you are on may be causing an unuseful or destructive behavior you may also wish to contact a medical professional about that issue as well.

I hope that this helps and stay strong.

 

[AudriTwo]

Please understand that I am not a doctor, however, if you think that the medication that you are on may be causing an unuseful or destructive behavior you may also wish to contact a medical professional about that issue as well.

this is my thinking too. @Sir Galahad you mentioned you have a neurologist you regularly see. my father sees one regularly for his epilepsy and his doc always asks him about his personal life. work, relationships, issues, stress, whatnot. you probably know emotional stress/mental health can also negatively affect your physical chemistry too. please be open with your neurologist about your current situation too

glad to see you are ready to take care of yourself op!

 

[Deleted member 57737]

You are right, the real me would not even use the word p*****. I have become a monster and didn't realise it. It is also right that I am not being honest, my work is suffering, my health is suffering and my mind is suffering. It is true that the medication I am on has this strange side effect of causing addiction. People have even won court cases and won compensation for the money they have spent gambling but I can't hide behind this. Before I started with camgirls I managed to channel this into positive things, work, hobbies etc. I must get back into that mindset.

I strongly believe that you can do it. Imagine how great it will be when you can look back to your problems and say "I made it!" Being proud of yourself will help you to stay there.

I know addiction. The dangerous thing is when you made some progress you might want to reward yourself and give in just a little bit. Don't! Or else any progress will be for nothing. I made this mistake many times. Its very hard.

I think it might also help to do something creative. Why not write all this down as you did here in this thread. Make a story out of it. The problems you have are relevant for the whole society.

 

[GraysonDrake]

It just sounds like the post is just another opportunity for the OP to turn himself on with his hobby when prevented from actively participating. He probably wrote this on his lunch break.

I was literally thinking he was typing this one handed

 

[Sir Galahad]

Actually I did type with one hand, due to my neurological condition I can't use my left hand.
I didn't really get off on writing it although I take the point. You may not believe it from my poor grammar but I am a writer (I have an editor who sorts out my grammar).
In a way this discussion has supported what I was saying in the original post. Apart from a bit of friendly banter in a models public chat, us users have little communication. I thought I was a typical user and it turns out that I have a problem. To be honest I knew I had a problem. I have tried to find a forum for users but the closest I got was this forum that is really for models. I appreciate the honest feedback I have received. You models have must have come across all types and the fact that I got such an extreme reaction has certainly made me think.
One of the problems was the tone of my first post. If my friends read it they would be shocked. I would never have written such a thing 6 months ago but I have become desensitized by the exposure to the camgirl chat. In the chat I come across as extremely polite but that's just relative to the rudeness of others.
My first thought was to give away all of my tokens close down all my accounts. I have closed 2 out of 5 but its not that easy to cut and run. I am going to see if i can moderate my time online to a few hours each week. It's not the use that's the problem it's the abuse.
I have looked into psychological help but don't have an appointment yet. i live in a very small town and I do not feel comfortable talking about my problem with my doctor, I am ashamed. Maybe I find someone on line, this is a common problem with people with my condition so there are helplines.
I spoke to my brother about my addiction, he is a recovering alcoholic and could see many parallels.
I think that the person I really need to talk to is my wife but one step at a time.
I guess I will piss someone off with this post but what the hell. I haven't visited a chatroom for 24hours, every time I get the urge I read your comments and it kills it dead. I'm certainly not the only guy with these problems @Gruner suggested I write down my experiences, maybe I will

 

[cbhours]

I think that the person I really need to talk to is my wife but one step at a time.

Why has it been 20+ years for someone thats married? why in separate beds?

 

[CheeseMoon]

Why has it been 20+ years for someone thats married? why in separate beds?

As a long since divorced guy I can easily see that happen if you let the marriage drag out. I wasn't married as long as 20 years though.
In any case, the elephant in the room your head is just another symptom of something. Trying to answer your questions here, by anyone, is just going to be speculative gossip.

 

[Marceline]

Why has it been 20+ years for someone thats married? why in separate beds?

Health issues affect libido. Certain prescription medications affect libido. Aging affects libido.

And for sleeping in separate beds, it's not extremely uncommon. I've known older couples who don't sleep in the same bed because they are more comfortable sleeping on their own. One person has to get up more often in the middle of the night to use the restroom and doesn't want to wake their spouse, one person snores and keeps the other person awake with it, or they require different types of mattresses to be comfortable.

There's reasons beyond just marital problems that would cause that. Yet even still, it's really none of our business what potential marital or medical problems OP and/or his wife have.

 

[AudriTwo]

Why has it been 20+ years for someone thats married? why in separate beds?

10 years+ my husband has sensory issues and i need noise/light to sleep. with his school/work schedule, i will sleep in the next room on weekdays. it's very important for him to get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

hell its very important for everyone to get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.


it's not an elephant in the room. it's something lots of couples do. if its because of marital issues, so what? thats nothing to mock or judge.

 

[cbhours]

it's not an elephant in the room. it's something lots of couples do. if its because of marital issues, so what? thats nothing to mock or judge.

The elephant in the room comment was intended for the not have sex in 20 years part. I just can't even begin to imagine what that would be like but I don't find it surprising that someone in that situation would have a cam model addiction. Not mocking or judging him.

 

[rockin_rod]

Everyone's experiences will be different. But I will say that even if a marriage/relationship is not completely functional, there can be many reasons why that relationship continues rather than dissolves: deep attachment long after intimacy is gone; a joint agreement to maintain stability when minors/dependents are involved; financial complications when many assets are jointly owned; stubbornness to risk losing property or aspects of lifestyle; fear of taking the steps necessary to leave; and so many other motivations.
And none of them anybody else's damn business, except those immediately involved.

 

[Deleted member 45270]

I really hope you can find exterior help, because a support group and a plan forward is the only way forward, and I'm really glad you are taking steps to shut accounts down. You took the hardest step: admitting out loud what you already knew was a problem.

A sexologist might be worth looking into, I (think) they offer help with porn addiction. I know you're embarrassed, but a professional would have seen it all by now, and not judge you one bit for your pain or problems.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Smores]

I am, one of those 50+ (60+ actually) married guys who hasn't had sex in 20 years and has been enchanted by the apparent interest of beautiful young girls in my cock. I really never knew it was so big haha
I could post about many of the problems I face as a camgirl addict.

I am not going to judge you, but I think you need to get the right context for making a post like this on a webcam performer discussion website. A therapist will also not judge you, and a good one will ask 1000 questions trying to understand you and your history and your motivations. All of that is done in order to understand your point of view and your motivations, and to help you understand your own behavior and how it might affect others. A good therapist should show compassion for you, and at the same time she will try to help you see what is not sustainable, not healthy for you, and what might be hurtful to others in your life.

Assuming a therapist does at least most of the things I just outlined, you need to understand that no one here will do those things. Here, there be dragons. Some of the people who respond to threads like these are just plain mean, unsympathetic, and many who respond do not care if you have a problem or not. It would be dangerous for you to take the comments of people here the way you would the comments of a real therapist. No one here is watching out for your sanity or trying to help you get to a better place, or get there gently. If you are a masochist and need some abuse, fine. If you are not, you might be in the wrong place to ask for this kind of advice.

I will say that as camgirl addicts go, you are not the worst. The worst ones are the porn addicts who visit dozens of rooms each day and completely objectify the models. They bark out sexual orders, never pay much for anything, and are completely incapable of having normal conversations with women. They act like the video stream is just a porn movie they are downloading from Pornhub, except they think they get to interact with the porn for free and act like the director.

Given the situation you outlined of being in a small town, I think you should look online for a "sex therapist" and you might even want to explore using more than one until you find a good fit. A sex therapist will help you to develop a healthy relationship to your sexual needs and try to deal more honestly with your marital relationship. Some things I observe about your situation are that you had a mostly sexless marriage for 20 years and the addiction to webcam models is mainly your attempt to regain sexuality. Some people do that with online porn, but you want the interaction with real people. A good sex therapist is going to be much more accepting of unusual sexual variants, and that person will understand sexless marriages very well. Going to an ordinary therapist is maybe more risky to your situation since that person might have a much more restricted view of healthy sexual interactions. You need someone who can listen to all your facts without being shocked or judging or missing a beat on helping you to figure it all out.

 

[Omne35]

You mentioned a neurologist. Based on what you said it sounds like you are taking a dopamine agonist, known for causing compulsive behavior.
You need to tell your neurologist what's going on so they can consider trying a different medication that may lessen your compulsion. There are several drugs in that class and they don't all have the same effect. The important thing is to keep your doctor in the loop on this stuff.