Very inappropriate messages from members...Can we do anything about it?

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Mfcalana

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Along with a 5 token tip, I received this message from a member under the username Drhorrible922: "I want to ziptie your wrists behind your back rip those panties off stuff them in your mouth as a gag bend you over and use you till im done"
I think it's fucked. Even if its a "porn site", members bringing up rape topics in the context that they would rape you should not be tolerated. Do you think if I was to send the screenshot MFC would at least send a warning to that person? I hate the fact that they sent it with a tip so they would know I read it for sure. Really upsetting but going back online anyway.
 

Miss_Lollipop

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You can ban and ignore that person. The ignore will strip all tip notes so u won't ever see them
 
Dec 9, 2018
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I'll take things members say that make you go "wtf?" for 200, Alex...

There's a very interesting spectrum of messed up personalities on camsites. And for me I feel like there's a continually dropping bar of things of things that disappoint me or make me facepalm. Some of it used to be good for laughs, but this is a bit creepy.
 
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Mfcalana

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I'll take things members say that make you go "wtf?" for 200, Alex...

There's a very interesting spectrum of messed up personalities on camsites. And for me I feel like there's a continually dropping bar of things of things that disappoint me or make me facepalm. Some of it used to be good for laughs, but this is a bit creepy.
This is more than creepy. Its unacceptable. I’m hoping this person is not out on the street behaving the same as he is on MFC. There are so many women victims of rape/murders everywhere it’s not a topic for jokes. I understand it’s a fetish for some but you can’t throw that in someone’s face without first discussing it.
 
there is definitely a difference between acting out a fantasy online and being a gentleman in real life. No need to explain, but if you feel offended, then by all means, throw some stats in the air and demonize the industry you take income from.
 

AudriTwo

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there is definitely a difference between acting out a fantasy online and being a gentleman in real life. No need to explain, but if you feel offended, then by all means, throw some stats in the air and demonize the industry you take income from.
This is unnecessary. Models here are venting how gross some people talk to us because we are cammodels. When people thrust their fantasies and fetishes on us without consent. No one is demonizing the industry.

Even if it's a fantasy it's still important to seek consent before roleplaying, especially rape fantasies. Over 90% of sexual assault victims experience PTSD. So it's safe to say this can be very triggering. I know personally I get really upset and unnerve when someone thrusts their rape fantasies on me.

Rape statistics are all over the place because it's underreported, but one and six women in the us is estimated to experience sexual assault. There is a large amount of women cammodels, so you can assume some sadly have a history of sexual abuse or assault.
 

Emberblaze

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there is definitely a difference between acting out a fantasy online and being a gentleman in real life. No need to explain, but if you feel offended, then by all means, throw some stats in the air and demonize the industry you take income from.
What the fuck have you been smoking?

There's a giant difference between saying "mmmm love to fuck you bb" and forcing rape fantasies on them.

Rape play is a genuine kink that can absolutely be played out online between CONSENTING PEOPLE.

Members that wish to partake in rape play that aren't complete fucking trash can very easily say "are you open to rape play fantasies".

But complete and utter trash just force them onto models.

Rape play isn't a standard expected menu item and if you you think it is and you should be allowed to just force rape fantasies onto anyone without their consent sex workers or not I think you should take that issue up with a therapist.
 

SaffronBurke

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there is definitely a difference between acting out a fantasy online and being a gentleman in real life. No need to explain, but if you feel offended, then by all means, throw some stats in the air and demonize the industry you take income from.
Complaining about people saying violent things that we did not consent to is not "demonizing the industry we take money from". There are plenty of respectful guys who ASK FIRST, which is standard protocol with any fetish, and especially extreme fetishes, regardless of if it's online or in person. It is not that hard to ask "do you do rape play" before saying something like this.
 

Mfcalana

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there is definitely a difference between acting out a fantasy online and being a gentleman in real life. No need to explain, but if you feel offended, then by all means, throw some stats in the air and demonize the industry you take income from.
Dude please put the pipe down or go see a mental health professional if this is truly how you think. Somethings wrong in ya little bald head.
 
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Mfcalana

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Complaining about people saying violent things that we did not consent to is not "demonizing the industry we take money from". There are plenty of respectful guys who ASK FIRST, which is standard protocol with any fetish, and especially extreme fetishes, regardless of if it's online or in person. It is not that hard to ask "do you do rape play" before saying something like this.
🙏 THANK YOU!
And yes I have had people politely asking in the past which I have declined politely as well. If you can ask to play rape fantasy I don’t think you’re a real life rapist. If you force them on me, even online, I am actually worried about women crossing your path in real life. BecAuse I’m only a partial nude model, and was fully clothed in latex at the time and doing domme stuff the person was obviously wanting this to be upsetting for me and didn’t want any form of consent. And even if I would have been fully naked with my legs spread as far wide as they go it still wouldn’t have been acceptable or an invitation for this kind of comment.
 

Mfcalana

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Even if it's a fantasy it's still important to seek consent before roleplaying, especially rape fantasies. Over 90% of sexual assault victims experience PTSD. So it's safe to say this can be very triggering. I know personally I get really upset and unnerve when someone thrusts their rape fantasies on me.
This was the first time someone actually didn’t ask and shoved it in my face. To be honest I had to go offline and take a break. Not a long one. Wasn’t gonna let the dickhead win. But I just didn’t know how I felt. I think I started having fantasies of my own... involved cutting balls off and cooking testicle stew.
 

SaffronBurke

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And even if I would have been fully naked with my legs spread as far wide as they go it still wouldn’t have been acceptable or an invitation for this kind of comment.
Exactly! Performing a sex act is in no way consent to participate in another, nor is it an invitation for people to throw their fantasies at you.
 

Mfcalana

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Exactly! Performing a sex act is in no way consent to participate in another, nor is it an invitation for people to throw their fantasies at you.
I was just thinking I was probably more attractive for someone seeking non consensual sex being all dressed the way I was. Would have been too easy if there was no clothes to force off my body. And looks like our friend who believes this is ok is actually working in the sex industry himself. Interesting. *red flag*
 
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🙏 THANK YOU!
And yes I have had people politely asking in the past which I have declined politely as well. If you can ask to play rape fantasy I don’t think you’re a real life rapist. If you force them on me, even online, I am actually worried about women crossing your path in real life. BecAuse I’m only a partial nude model, and was fully clothed in latex at the time and doing domme stuff the person was obviously wanting this to be upsetting for me and didn’t want any form of consent. And even if I would have been fully naked with my legs spread as far wide as they go it still wouldn’t have been acceptable or an invitation for this kind of comment.

Know and respect thy audience. Everyone has a limit, and we need to learn it for those we interact with. It's pretty sad how many people think adult sites, especially cam models, are there to be shit on by talking about physical violence done to them by members. Just the other day, I saw something about a model needing to report someone because the member talked about killing her and doing some nasty shit...

Sometimes I just don't get WTF is going on in some people's heads...
 

AmberCutie

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Models here are venting how gross some people talk to us because we are cammodels. When people thrust their fantasies and fetishes on us without consent
Just had a rant about this while on cam last night. There's a way to ease into displaying your kink to a live cam model. And making your opening introduction with a very visible cue to your off-kilter (non-vanilla is how I described it last night) is not proper and likely WILL result in us berating you for it (as happened last night).
 

Mfcalana

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Just had a rant about this while on cam last night. There's a way to ease into displaying your kink to a live cam model. And making your opening introduction with a very visible cue to your off-kilter (non-vanilla is how I described it last night) is not proper and likely WILL result in us berating you for it (as happened last night).
Yep and well the thing is if you're not a true rapist and its just a fantasy then just ask for consent. If you don't well yeah I'll believe you're a true rapist and its not a premium membership to MFC you need, its a premium membership to a mental hospital.
 

GweenBlack

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Yep and well the thing is if you're not a true rapist and its just a fantasy then just ask for consent. If you don't well yeah I'll believe you're a true rapist and its not a premium membership to MFC you need, its a premium membership to a mental hospital.
People sometimes just don't know how to talk, it doesn't mean they are rapists. Thats a very strong word and just assuming people with their kinks can go to a mental hospital just because they don't know how to approach you on a porn website is very very harsh.

In the sex industry, a lot will approach you with a lot different kinks, taboo ones, it doesn't mean they do/want that in real life - imagine that, it can disgust them if turned into real fantasy!

What you can do is brand yourself and teach yourself how to avoid these situations - ignore button and ban button without losing control of your room are good options already! That will send the message you are not into that kind of talking and get back to your show ASAP - like MissLollipop said.

If you don't want to deal with ANY kind of conversations like that, if its a trigger of your past - consider Pineapple Support to talk about it! Its a free line for sex workers to talk about it. And see how you can make sex work a better place for you to work.
 

Mfcalana

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People sometimes just don't know how to talk, it doesn't mean they are rapists. Thats a very strong word and just assuming people with their kinks can go to a mental hospital just because they don't know how to approach you on a porn website is very very harsh.

In the sex industry, a lot will approach you with a lot different kinks, taboo ones, it doesn't mean they do/want that in real life - imagine that, it can disgust them if turned into real fantasy!

What you can do is brand yourself and teach yourself how to avoid these situations - ignore button and ban button without losing control of your room are good options already! That will send the message you are not into that kind of talking and get back to your show ASAP - like MissLollipop said.

If you don't want to deal with ANY kind of conversations like that, if its a trigger of your past - consider Pineapple Support to talk about it! Its a free line for sex workers to talk about it. And see how you can make sex work a better place for you to work.
Nah I think this person knew very well what they were doing and they could talk very well seeing the descriptive way they put out what they’d do. They might not be that way in real life, but unfortunately being approached that way will just shape my belief that they are.
I can deal with it, but I want to denounce it. It won’t do anything to ignore it and if there is someone who doesn’t know how to act sees this thread, and it makes them think about asking for consent to avoid possibly triggering someone, then it will have been worth writing this post.
 
Lots of comments are misplaced assumptions, one post above me " Nah I think this person knew very well what they were doing " and based on what this person thinks it builds a whole new story. How can you even have a discussion when one side is told, and placed in such a way that you look like a victim. If you can stand the heat get out of the kitchen. This is an industry, no volunteer jobs here.
 
You are so professional in your statements. Let me put it down in words you understand better. Dont piss in the pool you swim.
No one needs to put up with abusive behavior in their workplace, and the fact that you are defending it like this is just weird. What is your goal?
 

CharlotteLace

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Complaining about one aspect of a vast, VAST industry is commonplace. If it's just a matter of "you should be grateful so just shut up," well if we adhered to that mentality in other industries, then there'd never be any kind of improvement or worker safeguards in other fields. ("You want a fire escape in the sweat shop? Be grateful you have a job!")

Also, etiquette is a thing. It's perfectly reasonable to expect (and enforce) a level of respect in your room. The whole reason a lot of us do this job is because we can dictate the level of respect we're given. If anything, when a dude like the original example comes along, it just makes it easier for us to separate the wheat from the chaff. So it's not really "pissing in the pool," for somebody to come to a camgirl forum and essentially ask how to better control their room's atmosphere.

We don't have to tolerate disrespectful treatment. If we wanted that, we'd be in a normal customer service job.
 

AudriTwo

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Lots of comments are misplaced assumptions, one post above me " Nah I think this person knew very well what they were doing " and based on what this person thinks it builds a whole new story. How can you even have a discussion when one side is told, and placed in such a way that you look like a victim. If you can stand the heat get out of the kitchen. This is an industry, no volunteer jobs here.

It's cute when people try to explain themselves but they come out looking like a bigger asshole.

We shouldn't have to tolerate abusive language because someone is paying us. And it's hella problematic if industry reps don't empathize with us. (by the way what do you do?)

Imo you are just as scummy as the people who push their fetishes on you without consent.
 

SaffronBurke

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You are so professional in your statements. Let me put it down in words you understand better. Dont piss in the pool you swim.
You seem quite confused about who is doing the pool-pissing. Hint: It's not the models who expect consent.

I've been active in local BDSM circles since 2008.Nobody in the scene would consider this behavior acceptable just because it's online.
 

AmberCutie

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JoleneBrody

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You are so professional in your statements. Let me put it down in words you understand better. Dont piss in the pool you swim.
Like the model pool you rely on to survive?
Who are you again? I’m going to put 10 bucks on affiliate marketer...
 

paige_orion

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Lots of comments are misplaced assumptions, one post above me " Nah I think this person knew very well what they were doing " and based on what this person thinks it builds a whole new story. How can you even have a discussion when one side is told, and placed in such a way that you look like a victim. If you can stand the heat get out of the kitchen. This is an industry, no volunteer jobs here.
You are so professional in your statements. Let me put it down in words you understand better. Dont piss in the pool you swim.
This really isn't a discussion where both "sides" need to be told, when the comments/actions speak so clearly for themselves. One person thinks it is perfectly acceptable to approach a stranger and tell them the brutal details of a VIOLENT RAPE they want to do to said person. Out of nowhere. Because, y'know... That's how you speak to people, especially strangers? The other person is simply saying, "Hey. Can you please stop trying to do that? It isn't okay." I guess I really don't understand where your derision seems to be coming front. A stranger being told the graphic details of a brutal, violent rape.... Yeah, that does make her the victim of harassment. But the way you are painting it makes it sound like you think she's wrong?

There isn't really two sides here, and there really isn't any need to try to see the side of the Rape Fantasizer, or try to emphasize with what he was doing or his motivations. Most of us have dealt with enough people like this, time and time again. We're not assuming - we're using our pretty vast experience on the topic to make a judgement about their intentions. We don't need to see their side. Springing such comments on a stranger without their consent... Yeah, we see quite clearly how most of them love the reaction of pain, anger, hurt, fury they get to see. Which is hardly surprising, since so many rapists get off on the non-consensual violence/power of the event... Springing the fantasies on the unsuspecting, knowing the reaction it will cause and enjoying it... They get to live out their rape-victory-power feelings over an unsuspecting model. Why do I need to see things from their point of view? At best, they're jerkfaces who think emotionally abusing a stranger is okay, and at worst, they are a straight up psychopath.

A lot of us have some messed up kinks and fetishes - and as a professional kinkster, my job is to help people explore those desires in a safe, healthy, and consensual manner. But you don't go up to a stranger and tell them you want to violate & brutalize them. It's common sense. It's unacceptable. It doesn't matter what job you're in. No person should have to experience that, let alone over and over and over again. And we're allowed to tell people that it's inappropriate to do WITHOUT CONSENT. That doesn't make any of us weak or unfit for this job.

Actually, I'd say that it makes all of us MORE fit to do this job. This can be a beautiful, amazing industry. But it can also chew you up and spit them out if you're too naive, if you don't know how to stand up for yourself, if you continuously let people walk over your boundaries, if you put your own emotional needs in last place. Do you know how people thrive in this industry, building up a long-term career, instead of burning out after a short career and fading away from the industry as a whole? They learn to protect themselves. They learn to stand up for themselves. They learn how they deserve to be treated and refuse to accept anything less than that. They learn how to say No and they learn when they need to say it. And those are vital, powerful skills for any model to learn. And that's what is happening here. Models are saying they don't want to put up with behavior that emotionally hurts them. That means they belong in THIS kitchen. That means they have boundaries, it means they know how they should be treated - like a human. Not like someone who thinks they deserve to be a punching bag for every stranger's fucked up fantasy, especially when it comes at the expense of their own emotional well-being.

"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen," is one way to phrase it, but I don't think it fits this situation. A more accurate version may be, "Hey. If you're going to work in a hot kitchen, make sure you know how to protect your vulnerable skin so you can do your job safely because kitchens can be dangerous places, man. If all you do is stand in front of the heat, trying to grab hot objects with bare skin, thinking you deserve to be scalded every day, and never try to don protective gear, then maaaaaaybe the kitchen isn't the best place for you."

It is strange to see someone in the industry defend rape-violence fueled comments, acting as if it is absolutely outrageous for models to expect respect and decency. The fact that you think models should have to accept such treatment and shut up about it... It shows a lot about what you actually think of adult models. And it doesn't seem to be much.... You could call this comment an assumption. I'd say it's an inference based on your words, your tone, and the attitude you are directing towards models who are simply asking to be treated with human decency. Someone says, "I wish people would stop telling me the violent & brutal ways they wish to rape me, without asking if I'm okay with it first," and your reaction is one of derision and scorn and contempt... It really does speak volumes, and not, I'm afraid, in a flattering way. :(
 

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Approaching people like a decent human being with a sliver of common courtesy, what a horrendous ask? Whatever are we silly sex robots thinking?
 

Miss_Lollipop

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It's not pissing in a pool to block and ban and remove members who treat us like garbage, are rude and who make us miserable and make us do our jobs poorly. A triggered or upset model is a poor performer.

It's more like cleaning out the pool filter. getting the muck out of the pool so the rest of us can enjoy it! The members that are rude are more like the turds floating in the pool.

Am i doing the metaphor thing right?
 

Mfcalana

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You are so professional in your statements. Let me put it down in words you understand better. Dont piss in the pool you swim.
You’re trying to convince us we should just be happy and it’s part of the industry. That a bald move for someone relying on us to make money? Oops I meant bold move. Damn auto correct.