Victim of love bombing

[Jgerb001]

I’ve been chatting with a cam model for almost a year now. Randomly I stumbled upon a post here that after reading through I realized was talking about the exact same person. He was trying to figure out if this girl actually liked him, same as me. Seeing someone describe the same thing I went through finally helped me break free of her control, so I decided to post this on the off chance it helps someone else.

I don’t know if I’m allowed to call her out by username but I’ll just give the details that helped me figure it out. I met her on tinder (the other guy said plenty of fish so I assume she’s using multiple apps) and after a brief conversation she had me follow her Instagram. There she revealed she’s a cam model on the site imlive.com and tried to get me to do a private show. I had never heard of the site so I was cautious, but I liked her and the site appeared legit so I eventually gave in. At some point she moved our conversations to telegram and I started to believe I might be more than just a customer to her.

She is Colombian but claimed to live about 40 minutes from me in Southern California. The other user said she claimed to be in Detroit so I know she’s just picking random locations to make people think she’s nearby. Her sob story is that her aunt has kidney failure and she needs money to pay for the medical bills. She also claimed to not have a phone, but borrows her aunt’s to chat. She only chats during the afternoon and evening when she’s live on the site.

Anyway I eventually told her I love her (stupid I know) and she began to say the same. She made many promises to eventually meet but whenever I pushed the matter she would get upset and say she was too busy working 24/7 for her aunt. She would very heavily guilt me and make me feel like I was stressing her out. Also claimed I was the only person she talked to outside of the site, but this was obviously not true.

So through some google searching I found the mentioned post. I pretty much knew it all along but I was scared of the off chance I was wrong about things. I finally deleted my account on the site and told her I knew the truth. She continued to deny and guilt me but I know it had to be done. So that’s my story, hopefully it can help at least one other person.

 

[englishmuffins]

Glad you were able to figure it out. If it’s it too good to be true, it likely is. Sorry that happened to you but glad you listened to you gut and instincts and discovered the truth.

 

[thinkinboutit]

Man, I don't know how people have the time/energy to run these scams...
if I had half that effort into honest cam work I feel like I'd be rich

 

[Jgerb001]

Man, I don't know how people have the time/energy to run these scams...
if I had half that effort into honest cam work I feel like I'd be rich

Seriously, I’ve been thinking how stressful it must be to keep track of all these different people she’s “dating”. Remembering details about their lives, writing all these super affectionate messages, must be exhausting

Glad you were able to figure it out. If it’s it too good to be true, it likely is. Sorry that happened to you but glad you listened to you gut and instincts and discovered the truth.

Thanks. it’s not even the money or time I really care about, worst part is the emotional damage. I certainly won’t be using any apps or online dating, and the career I’m starting now is a lonely one :/

 

[Highlander884]

Seriously, I’ve been thinking how stressful it must be to keep track of all these different people she’s “dating”. Remembering details about their lives, writing all these super affectionate messages, must be exhausting


Thanks. it’s not even the money or time I really care about, worst part is the emotional damage. I certainly won’t be using any apps or online dating, and the career I’m starting now is a lonely one :/

Oh I've given up on online dating. Almost no success of any kind, the only people that seem to reach out to me are escorts.

Didnt tinder get revealed as putting up fake accounts themselves? I did come across photos of a cb lady on there knowing that she lived nowhere near me.

 

[MarieElise]

Oh I've given up on online dating. Almost no success of any kind, the only people that seem to reach out to me are escorts.

Didnt tinder get revealed as putting up fake accounts themselves? I did come across photos of a cb lady on there knowing that she lived nowhere near me.

It's been years, but one of my friends had success w eharmony.

I tried match.com, and got one somewhat serious relationship out of it, and some fun dates, but ultimately it didn't work for me either.

Man, I don't know how people have the time/energy to run these scams...
if I had half that effort into honest cam work I feel like I'd be rich

THIS ^^^^ I just don't get it.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

the time/energy to run these scams

I think for people who operate in this manner, it comes naturally to them. They are used to having dysfunctional interpersonal relationships, so it's easy to allow their "work" to go the same way.

 

[Marceline]

It's been years, but one of my friends had success w eharmony.

I tried match.com, and got one somewhat serious relationship out of it, and some fun dates, but ultimately it didn't work for me either.

One of my previous neighbors met his wife through either eharmony or match. It’s been awhile so I can’t remember which one. I’ve known other people who’ve had success with dating sites where you have to pay for a subscription.

According to my neighbor, sites where you have to pay are usually much better with finding people who want long term relationships, since they’re serious enough about it to actually spend money. Which makes sense. Tinder, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish and other ones that you can easily use for free (I think there’s an option with each of those to upgrade your account for a certain amount a month but I’m not totally sure) have way more people looking to just hook up.

I tried OKCupid and Tinder a loooooong time ago, went out on literally one date (which went terribly from the get go because this dude smelled like ranky ass) and ended up deleting all my profiles shortly after because no one caught my attention. I did meet a guy who looked and acted like Monica’s boyfriend Richard from Friends through SA, but I wouldn’t really consider SA a dating site.

Anyway TLDR; for the guys who want to find a serious relationship through dating sites, your best bet is to pay for eharmony or match.

 

[MarieElise]

went out on literally one date (which went terribly from the get go because this dude smelled like ranky ass)

Lol, I feel ya. I once went on a date w a guy who smelled overwhelmingly like pork chops. I don't like any meat from the pig, and I especially hate both the smell and taste of pork chops! IDK if he ate like 20 pork chops before our date or what, but it was like the smell was oozing out of his skin.

I never tried Tinder or any of the rest, I just went to the bar instead. I wanna get a feel for someone in person, their "vibe" etc. But I'm weird. And old haha. When I wanted to hook up, I did it the old-fashioned way i.e. parties and bars. There are advantages to that though #1 being the old sniff test

 

[Jgerb001]

One of my previous neighbors met his wife through either eharmony or match. It’s been awhile so I can’t remember which one. I’ve known other people who’ve had success with dating sites where you have to pay for a subscription.

According to my neighbor, sites where you have to pay are usually much better with finding people who want long term relationships, since they’re serious enough about it to actually spend money. Which makes sense. Tinder, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish and other ones that you can easily use for free (I think there’s an option with each of those to upgrade your account for a certain amount a month but I’m not totally sure) have way more people looking to just hook up.

I tried OKCupid and Tinder a loooooong time ago, went out on literally one date (which went terribly from the get go because this dude smelled like ranky ass) and ended up deleting all my profiles shortly after because no one caught my attention. I did meet a guy who looked and acted like Monica’s boyfriend Richard from Friends through SA, but I wouldn’t really consider SA a dating site.

Anyway TLDR; for the guys who want to find a serious relationship through dating sites, your best bet is to pay for eharmony or match.

I was told the same by a friend but didn’t take the advice, partly because I was in this situation but also I was pretty ashamed of my job and financial situation. That’s getting better though so maybe I’ll give it a shot

 

[MarieElise]

partly because I was in this situation but also I was pretty ashamed of my job and financial situation.

When you meet the right person that doesn't matter. My BF actually had only just got done living in his car for 3 mos when I first met him (he still showered and didn't rank of ass or pork chops though!), and had a low-paying job, and no real savings or material assets. However, I fell in love with him nonetheless. His sister told me he didn't think he would ever find a GF because of his financial and job situation, but here we are nearly 5 years later, still deeply in love, and nearly 2 kids to show for it. He can support himself, but I doubt he'll ever be a rich guy. That makes zero difference to me though. He's there when I need him, he's loyal and he supports me emotionally, which is of way more value to me. Plus we are compatible, have similar interests, views, and physical chemistry, and make each other laugh.

We are moving out of the day and age where how much money a guy has or makes matters to lots of women. Sure some still see it as a primary consideration, but many really, truly don't. Of course in the cam world context, things are completely different, for obvious reasons though.

 

[AmberCutie]

Tinder, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish and other ones that you can easily use for free (I think there’s an option with each of those to upgrade your account for a certain amount a month but I’m not totally sure) have way more people looking to just hook up.

Also easier to catfish people into money scams. (I've had people bitch at me that I scammed them on PoF, clearly other people catfishing with my images.)
Or just to make scammy accounts to get people to sign up for their onlyfans/etc. As we've seen people openly admit to doing on this very forum (which I don't approve of, by the way lol.)

 

[AmberCutie]

Also easier to catfish people into money scams. (I've had people bitch at me that I scammed them on PoF, clearly other people catfishing with my images.)
Or just to make scammy accounts to get people to sign up for their onlyfans/etc. As we've seen people openly admit to doing on this very forum (which I don't approve of, by the way lol.)

To follow up on this: all actual dating apps should be pay to use to avoid the shit I mentioned here. People looking for serious dates should be willing to pay for the service to ensure some sort of quality of users.

 

[Highlander884]

One of my previous neighbors met his wife through either eharmony or match. It’s been awhile so I can’t remember which one. I’ve known other people who’ve had success with dating sites where you have to pay for a subscription.

According to my neighbor, sites where you have to pay are usually much better with finding people who want long term relationships, since they’re serious enough about it to actually spend money. Which makes sense. Tinder, OKCupid, Plenty of Fish and other ones that you can easily use for free (I think there’s an option with each of those to upgrade your account for a certain amount a month but I’m not totally sure) have way more people looking to just hook up.

I tried OKCupid and Tinder a loooooong time ago, went out on literally one date (which went terribly from the get go because this dude smelled like ranky ass) and ended up deleting all my profiles shortly after because no one caught my attention. I did meet a guy who looked and acted like Monica’s boyfriend Richard from Friends through SA, but I wouldn’t really consider SA a dating site.

Anyway TLDR; for the guys who want to find a serious relationship through dating sites, your best bet is to pay for eharmony or match.

You met a guy who looked like tom selleck?!
God damn as a heterosexual male I'm jealous! That moustache!

 

[lydialove]

I find it sooo interesting that someone else posted about her too on here

 

[cbhours]

lol i remember that, claimed she was from colombia and moved to detroit