Still no plans for a back tattoo..
There have been some developments, the last couple of weeks have been a Whirlwind.
I've booked and travel to Colombia next week.
(NOT REALLY ;-)
Some generous members here have provided wise counsel and discussed the situation at length, providing their experiences and objective perspectives, AKA #brutaltruth
I certainly became conscious of initiating most contact through whatsapp so eased off on this. She has been initiating contact also when I leave it a couple of days, she messages outside her shift and on day off. I'm not visiting her room very often either - 2-3 times per week
My Spanish lessons are progressing - through Babbel, attending weekly in person, listening to podcasts as I AM traveling to Espana in September. But my level is still too low to converse. I have done cam to cam with her- Non sexual but it's so she can see the living breathing person rather than just a coloured user name.
Also - Turn down some the request for money (Id say all but i know realistically you are probably empathic and will give in occasionally). It’s not your problem, and will show strength.
If they stay in your life through that - not saying the “love” is real - but they probably do care about you in some capacity.
She did come forward and ask about the supermarket vouchers which I offered as an alternate to Western Union. The Colombian supermarket is EXITO and they do have gift cards, but my international credit card may not work, it requires Colombian ID number and phone number ( which I can create). Also requires a valid email to send voucher to and while she had given me an email previously I had wondered if it was fake- never tried it either. She confirmed it was valid and her private email ( or one of them anyway) I will attempt this and questioned if the alternative English tuition wasn't better long term.
Some recent events
The studio demands for her to do hardcore shows with others seem to have...gone away
She was fined for being late to shift start after her nephew disappeared for some hours
She contacted me distraught after someone recognized her in her room, named her town and former job before mocking her - has not appeared or been mentioned since..
Someone tipped her 600 tokens in a single tip and a few hundred more before that. The most I've seen her receive.
But I get it, we all try to delude ourselves to believe our situation is unique and we will be the .1% that works out. Just be careful to only do things within your means.
I feel polarised most of the time swinging from, there actually is a level of connection, she comes to me when in trouble & trusts me with personal info few would provide, and swinging to I'm a fucking drongo for getting into this situation, it's not even real, I'm being strung along and played.
She has maintained she wants out of cam world but I don't know if she really means this or part of the sympathy narrative.
And if you read this thread from the start, I don't know to say WTF or is Days of your Lives a program you watch!