crushing on cam girl without being delulu

[Darfydarf]

Hi everyone,
I’ve been looking around and I am aware that love scams are really common and I can appreciate the red flags and support around this, for models and customers. Of course, I feel “special” and as if my story is unique. Please slap me silly, tell me I’m crazy.
Here it goes,
I met a beautiful cam girl from Colombia, we started chatting and conversation was fun. I would tip her and she would say no it’s ok we’re just talking… and I took her private a few times just to turn my cam on and show her who she’s talking to. Not to sound obnoxious but I am somewhat conventionally attractive and I have a big dick so I’ve been told.
This progressed over a few days and I ended up asking for her contact. She seemed genuinely interested and told me to send my number in a dm.. I did it (cuz I’m a genius!)
But things are surprisingly genuine feeling. She’s never asked me for money or implied she needs money. She feels honest, but I really have no way of knowing.
Let me just list the points out and please if you can provide some experience or advice it’s appreciated.

-Hasn’t asked for money
-Hasn’t invited me back into her room (since getting number haven’t been back, about a week)
-sends me pics of her without makeup, family, pets
-told me she doesn’t have a bf but has “friends wink wink” which felt honest
-told me she wants to do a video call and said right after on here not on the chat site
-most of our talking isn’t sexual, but there have been some “what do you like” kind of sexy talk.

Is she playing the “long game” lol ? But what’s the benefit in doing that exactly.
We seem to match in kinkiness and she’s really intelligent which I find super sexy.
I would like to meet her at some point because she is super sexy and I feel like the sex would be fantastic but I don’t know. She has said she’s open to meeting at some point but also is apprehensive about it and has told me that.
Please help me out

 

[Marceline]

This progressed over a few days and I ended up asking for her contact. She seemed genuinely interested and told me to send my number in a dm.. I did it

since getting number haven’t been back, about a week

Soooo it’s been like two weeks? Potentially less? That’s hardly enough time to rule out her playing the long game. If she’s a smart woman trying to scam, she wouldn’t ask for exorbitant amounts of money in less than two weeks of talking offsite.

Buuuuut, let’s say this is totally legit. She fell absolutely, madly, head over heels in love with you and your huge dick. This beautiful, intelligent woman (who just so happens to live in one of the areas most commonly associated with love scams) only had to have a couple chats with you and get a glimpse of your gigantic cock on her laptop screen to want to risk it all by not blocking you when you asked for offsite communication (since that’s a bannable offense, depending on the camsite). She then proceeds to show a stranger, because after only two weeks of online communication you are still effectively a stranger, pictures of her family.

Does that sound totally normal to you? If there’s absolutely no intention to love scam, wouldn’t it be odd that this seemingly amazing woman got attached so fast to someone she doesn’t know? To show pictures of her family and risk her job for a man who seemingly just wants to fuck her?

But obviously you know what we will all say if you’ve taken even a precursory glance at any of the other hundreds of threads exactly like yours. Because sorry, but your story is not unique or special. It’s the same as every other dude who comes here looking for validation on something that in his gut doesn’t feel right, because if it felt totally right and normal you wouldn’t have to ask strangers on the internet if the other stranger on the internet is scamming you.

So, instead of telling you “yeah, you’re probably getting scammed, proceed with caution”, this is what I’m going to say.

“There’s a slight chance you’re not getting scammed, so jump right in! Dive head first into this sexual relationship with someone who lives in a different country from you! If she invites you to go see her, immediately book your flight and go to see her! Have unprotected sex! Walk down dark alleyways in a foreign country! It will all work out perfectly for you!”

 

[Darfydarf]

Damn haha well I guess I asked for it.
Thanks for the reality check. I of course know it’s abnormal.
You do sound somewhat angry though, just pointing that out lol. I didn’t say anything about love confessions, neither of us have done that. There’s no baby and my love talk.
It’s been about a week so yes I’m an idiot, but what’s the harm in seeing if she does ask for money or not over the next few weeks..
what’s the long game with these girls exactly?

Your points are appreciated and I agree with you for the most part.

 

[droopla]

As an experienced user who also likes to chat offsite i can only give you few advises.
Forget the love game , she can be very nice , you may also say "i love you" but see it as a good friendship and don't give her any expectations either.
You where in her room for sexual purposes , nothing wrong with that. And now the sexual part is less important .... but you still think about it a lot.
This will frustrate you and makes you weak and vulnerable , just tell her what you want (online sexual things and she knows you got a big dick) .
If she loves you she will also want it. And if she ever asks you for some financial support , private shows costs money too. But avoid she's giving you shows for money.
I have seen guys going to Colombia , getting married in Colombia and it all went good.
But i have also seen guys getting abandoned in Colombia because they did not bring enough money.

So play the game by your own rules and don't get played
Wait at least a year before you even think about meeting. (and you can also send her a ticket to come to you.) (i did that once with a US camgirl)
And if it does not work and you break up it will be a month of sorrow and you will be fine again.

 

[AmberCutie]

You do sound somewhat angry though, just pointing that out lol.

I think you mistake the language of cynicism and jadedness to be anger. She just point-blank said what most of us would because we've seen it a thousand times. You say "not delulu" but... it is delulu thinking.

 

[Vixxen81]

The "long game" is to keep you interested and tipping.

 

[Darfydarf]

I think you mistake the language of cynicism and jadedness to be anger. She just point-blank said what most of us would because we've seen it a thousand times. You say "not delulu" but... it is delulu thinking.

Yes I get that. You guys are helping me out so I’m thankful for your input and experience.
And yea there isn’t a way of going about this that isn’t delusional your right. I’m checked out from it at this point. She’s fun to talk to and flirt with, it ends there.

I will say however I have and never will send money. There might be times when I log back in and send her tokens and just get off but it will end there.

 

[Marceline]

You do sound somewhat angry though, just pointing that out lol.

**sigh**

It seems like any time a woman is not agreeable to what a man is saying, is being cheeky or not coddling, she's seen as "angry". I'm not angry, I just have a very sarcastic/blunt tone when typing. And also, it's just like "...seriously?" when dudes come here asking the same questions that have been asked literally hundreds of times over the years and then, nine times out of ten, get upset when we answer honestly.

I didn’t say anything about love confessions, neither of us have done that.

And neither did I. However, you're talking about wanting to go to another country to fuck some girl you've known for a week. That's stupid. And someone should tell you that is stupid. Obviously I was being cheeky instead of coming straight out and saying that's stupid, but there. Ask anyone who genuinely cares about you if they think that would be a good idea, and I'm sure they'd say the same thing. And hey, that might even be nicer, but less straightforward, about it.

It’s been about a week so yes I’m an idiot, but what’s the harm in seeing if she does ask for money or not over the next few weeks..

Then what is the point of coming here asking us if we think it's a scam if you are still going to talk to her no matter what we say? Go back to my first point, it's just.... really?

what’s the long game with these girls exactly?

For love scams there's a lot of different "long games".

1. Model makes member feel like she is in a serious, long distance relationship with him. Shows "personal information" (sometimes true, sometimes not), tells him about her life, talks to him offline. Once member is effectively hooked and has real feelings, she starts asking for money. Not in a straight up manner, but suddenly she has student loans she's behind on, her phone broke and she can't afford a new one, her rent is late and she will be evicted if she doesn't pay soon. Perhaps progressing to more serious stuff i.e granda died, pet died, model got hospitalized. She will also talk about meeting up with member, but make excuses when the time comes to meet him. Once he has sent tons of money and is starting to catch on to the fact that the model is not interested in actually being with him, model will ban and/or ghost.

2. Same game as above, but instead of not meeting the member, she invites him to her country. Member arrives there and is drugged with scopolamine by model. Hopefully, he is only robbed blind. Scopolamine robberies are common in Colombia, with single foreign men being the main targets. And it's not like these girls are pharmacists. They're using god knows what dosage, so you can potentially overdose from it or it has an adverse reaction and you die that way.

3. Asking for money may or may not be a part of this long game, but more than likely is a part. Model does meet up with member, whether in his country or hers. Model continues on with the relationship and pushes for marriage. Why? Green card. Depending on the member, this may not be a problem for him. A lot of relationships/marriages are transactional in nature, and some men are totally okay with marrying hot women who are only with them so they can leave their country.

Obviously there's variations of those three, but yeah.

And believe it or not, me or anyone else being cheeky on this forum is because we actually don't want to see men taken advantage of or potentially harmed.

 

[wlm123]

People are people and sometimes through the intimacy you share on the site natural bonds can form. If it is real, it will show itself over time. Take your time, watch out for warning signs, enjoy what you have online. You'll know if she starts asking for things to run away. What's the hurry?

I'm 4 1/2 years in with a wonderful woman from Romania (I'm in the US). She is in her late 30s and I'm early 50s, so mature people. We met on Streamate and very quickly realized we had a natural chemistry. We share and talk about everything, on and off the site. She has never asked for anything. It was probably almost 2 years in before we started communicating off site. I'm not rich, but I treat her nicely...normal gifts for Christmas, Birthday, Martisor, etc, but nothing extravagant that she is keeping me around for, lol. I do have a wonderful florist in Bucharest that takes Paypal!

She spent a couple years with a full time day job and we maintained our relationship through that with very little time on the site. She is back camming full time now, for now. We just really enjoy each other and have built our relationship slowly and naturally. We have not met and neither of us is pushing for it. By now we know our feelings are real, we share them and talk about them regularly, but we are content with where we are. It can happen, but take your time. That's my experience. Good luck.