how do you get used to anal??

[purelove]

ive done anal once.. but it hurts supper bad. i want to get into anal more but im scared of the pain and injuring myself... does anyone have any tips??? do you get used to it after a while?

 

[Evvie]

Anal sex should not be painful.

Your poop chute wasn't designed for fornication. It can provide pleasurable sensations, because you can stimulate your vaginal wall through your colon. But there's nothing wrong with not enjoying anal.

I have been doing anal for ages, and while I enjoy it, it can still be uncomfortable for me. Here is what I have found definitely works and gets me in the mood:

Have regular vaginal sex (or masturbate) beforehand. Have an orgasm or two before you start anal; get super turned on. Your vagina and anus will both relax and be more receptive to penetration once you get aroused. When I am not aroused, even a small thin toy is uncomfortable or even painful for me. When I am very aroused, I can use a very large toy and enjoy it a lot, with no pain at all. Arousal makes a huge difference.

Start with a very small toy (or your fingers) and lots of lube. Your colon obviously does not secrete lubrication like your vagina does, so use lots of bottled lube and don't be afraid to use more than you think you will need.

While engaging in anal, stimulate your clitoris as much as you can (or want). I enjoy anal sex while using a hitachi toy. You may find that while you are being anally penetrated, a little vaginal penetration is very enjoyable as well (many women enjoy double penetration a great deal, because anything inserted in the anus will take up space and make your vagina feel tighter and therefore, sensations there will feel stronger and more intense).

I enjoy anal in its own right, but when I started out, I definitely did not feel that way. It is really important to relax and stop if anything gets painful or starts to hurt - don't listen to men who tell you that you can push past the pain and take it. Microabrasions and tearing are big possibilities, and there is no need to injure yourself.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Mmm if the idea of it turns you on, then it does. Use a lube and a small (thin) toy, and see how that works, lots of lube. I would avoid desensitising lubes as you shouldn't be feeling pain from anal.

You might want to say have a hot bath, and then get some lube and play a bit there as having a bath will relax your skin (and be cleaner). Then see how you feel afterwards.

The trick with anal is that you have to be relaxed. If you're tense you will get nowhere, so being horny is a good thing as usually for me I'm more relaxed!

I've found a really comfortable position for actual anal sex to start off with is if you're with a guy lying down together in spoon position, feeling all sleepy so you're all relaxed, yet also slightly horny. Whenever I've done anal like that, it's more of an accidental "I'm horny and want it now" kind of thing, but it's never hurt.
Positions I find easiest are typical doggy style position, I personally find lying down on my back with legs up is very painful.

 

[Jessi]

Get your partner to lick your ass while they're going down on you, and rub it during sex! Bums need foreplay too

 

[southsamurai]

as usual, the two lovely ladies have said almost everything in such a complete way that i have little useful to add. having had some experience on both ends of the equation i can go into some specifics

lube: water based, of course. astroglide is the most versatile for anal play imo. i have a friend who swears by KY silk-e, but i find it not to be thick enough. they make lubes that have numbing agents, but i recommend against them, especially when one is starting out. the pain sensation is there for a reason, dont block it, and when it appears listen to it.

toys: for a beginner there are toys designed for anal play that are better than the standard vibes and dildos. Doc Johnson makes a reallly good one that is narrow, easy to use, flexible, and has a wider base that prevents problems. if i can find it online ill link it so you can see the model im talking about

position: for solo play you have a lot of options for getting used to penetration and sensation. i recommend a standard "gyno" set up with a mirror for exploration (yes, for guys too) once you have a "feel" for what goes where you can switch out, but i've found over the years that being able to see what you are doing is helpful at first.

with a partner the situation shifts a great deal. doggie position certainly allows for easy access, but has a lack of control on the receiving end. a modified missionary works better in the early stages in my experience. being able to communicate face to face helps ensure a lack of misunderstanding. plus with the knees drawn up to the chest and spread the greatest amount of opening is provided to the muscles of the anal sphincter and surrounding connective tissues. both of these require control and patience on the partner's end. if the "receiving" partner is on top they have more control and the same opening of muscles is achieved, but for some reason a lot of women seem not to enjoy it as much (among my partners anyway)

found it! http://www.sextoy.com/quick_view.php?pnum=DJ0408-00 not the absolute best toy ever, but great for a beginner

 

[Deleted member 8603]

A lot of it is mental.

If you expect pain, you'll get it. Your muscles will tighten and your body will be less receptive to the good parts.
Try to expect and enjoy the idea of it feeling awesome.

Another thing that everyone will say and that is super true is to GO SLOW AND USE LOTS OF LUBE.

I loooovvvee anal. And sometimes when I'm just not getting turned on, it doesn't feel very nice.

Give your body time to adjust, watch your favorite porn and do it by yourself for a while before trying it on cam or with another person. You can't tell/show someone else how to make you feel good if you don't know how to make yourself feel good.

Don't stress yourself out with it. It should be fun for you, so if it hurts or is uncomfortable, stop all motion for a bit, or take a break and grab more lube or get more turned on. :thumbleft:

 

[Rose]

Since I see you have model status, next time try using the search function. :thumbleft: We've got some great tips in the models only section on stuff like this.

Also of note, the thread is aptly named Anal for the Newbie.
http://www.ambercutie.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=35&t=8060&hilit=anal+tips