How would you handle this?

[yummybrownfox]

Hey, guys. You don't have to tell us "Not all guys are like that though" any time women on here vent about disgusting male behavior. Don't worry. We know that not all guys are like that.

Maybe not all of them but a fair lot of them do think that way and its despicable. These same assholes are the same ones who will come into a girl's room and sit for yours and never tip a damn thing. These same assholes are the ones who will beg for freebies until they are blue in the fucking face and then call you a nigger or a bitch if you tell em off.

It doesnt matter if you work in mainstream porn or a cam site or even if you do something minimal like phone sex work, you shut the fuck up and you dont tell your business to the rest of the world because it can backfire on you tremendously. Its hard to keep seperate lives but that is necessary if you want to keep your sanity and a paycheck.[/QUOTE]

^Which is why I could never be on a cam site like LiveJasmin...where cam girls aren't even allowed to ban members as they wish. On MFC, the go-to insult (after a guy realizes he's not having it his way) for some of these guys was to make stereotype remarks about how I'm just another welfare queen with a bunch of babies with different daddies. Lmao. One guy got really nasty with me after I told him no, I'm not comfortable doing master/slave roleplay of me on your plantation. That was surprising, because the master/slave guys usually just say "Okay" and move on.

And you are right...if you're gonna be telling people about what you do in the adult industry, that will be the thing they decide to "throw in your face" later on during an argument or something. "Well at least I'm not showing my tits to a bunch of strangers on the internet!" The OP said that she had told a few female co-workers, and it sounds like those some of those female co-workers got big mouths and was telling her business. Can't say that I'm surprised. Gossiping Gabbies in the workplace is one thing I do not miss about working outside the home.

 

[yummybrownfox]

^Sorry, I messed up with the quote function. Lol. The "It doesn't matter if you work in mainstream porn...." paragraph wasn't said by me. That was part of LexyLyn90's post.

 

[Violet Dawn]

This kind of stuff really, really digs into me deep. My advice would be to calmly explain to them that just because you have sex with YOURSELF for money does not mean that your personal space is to be invaded. You are the same person you were before you did this, or before they found out and they should treat you the same.

If someone continues I would just try to be subtly, extremely rude to them. Just randomly. They'd probably wonder why and I'd explain "Well you decided to start treating me a certain way because you found out I was a sex worker. So after I found out you're an idiot, I decided to start treating you like one."

Hopefully they'll understand, but if they don't which they never do I'd just explain to them if they touch you again you will get the manager/law involved. Or break their finger. Or light them on fire like @SaffronBurke said. (That's a joke but still)

You > Them

Edit: Breaking finger was a joke too.

 

[Ambers Troll]

Being asked "can I kiss you" is the quickest route to dry panties. It is better to escalate and interpret her reactions than to fish for permission. If the girl doesn't want to kiss you that is what doing a cobra is for:

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I get some radical feminists won't rest until every act of romance is twisted into some form of sexual abuse, some of them even justify the idea that "marriage is rape" but if you want to actually get that girl you are pining for, assuming the sale by going for that kiss is a must. Until the girl says "no" or does something like a cobra you shouldn't assume she doesn't want you.

I agree that pushing consent, risking rejection is/ can be sexy. Confidence and reading a partner is an incredibly sexy part of romance. My comment was really about where it leads to a woman being seen as 'asking for it'.

Does outing yourself as a model make for some indicator of consent that you are interested in any fantasy guys are interested in sharing with you? I think women can expect a little better from men outside of the dating scene in particular. A bit of playful teasing over it, and curiosity is fine, but we should know when we are going too far. Asking for the site/ cam name for instance is going too far, they may as well ask her to strip for them during lunch break.
Guys do this because we get confused over what women want, and want from us. It doesn't excuse our bad behaviour, even if many women like it, we should sense when this particular woman doesn't like it and stop, even before cobra or 'no'.

The confusion does start with our concepts of 'romance', not that we should change that, but assign it to its proper place/ moment.