Old question with a modern pov

[EasternPromis]

I’m of the opinion that pretty much everyone can be an asshole under certain conditions. Human nature, and all that.

Yeah and tbh regardless of how some members were, camming and content creation is the best job ever for me personally.

There is many mean people in other fields too, or on the way to work, in elevators etc and can’t ban them so easily like I can in camming.

 

[luxgray]

Anyone think it’s weird that this is OP’s only post in 4 years?

Folks should know that when they are paying money, a “relationship” is not real. Maybe these sites should have clear disclaimers that we are basically paid actors and anything they see and hear is fiction. I don’t think we’re responsible for the actions of people who don’t know that.

Yes, some people definitely buy into my persona very deeply and ask me out on dates, ask constantly about what I’m into sexually (laying on my couch playing video games and fostering kittens!) But I redirect and ask if they are interested in a ‘girlfriend experience’ so that they know it’s a product.

Yes, I’m sure some models aren’t that direct but the clients are consenting adults and it should be crystal clear that this is a monetary transaction, because it’s a monetary transaction. If a guest completely stops any kind of payment and the model wants to become friends/lovers off platform, then maybe that’s ’real.’ But if there’s still any kind of tipping, money, one way payment for trips/food/etc involved - then you’re still buying the pleasure of her company.

In terms of cosplay and minors, I think it’s fine if the character themselves is 18+. And I’d personally be more comfortable if platforms vetted guests as heavily as they did models, including facial scans at every log on. I don’t think models are targeting minors via cosplay and mainstream social media. I think the point is to get a non-cam watching audience for conversions. These sites can try to throw liability our way as much as they want, but they’re the ones with enormous profits that plaintiffs will want to sue. Besides the total ick factor of minors, targeting adults who actually, you know, work and have money makes more sense if you’re trying to come at it from that angle.

 

[maskedsissyslutforyou]

I suspect that viewers (including the ones who won't/don't converse) are maybe 80% ok/20% assholes. I suspect that the viewers that converse lean much more heavily to the asshole side, maybe 50%/50% asshole, or even 30%ok/70% asshole. Most viewers don't know what to say so simply seem to keep quiet.

The asshole side seem rather stupid/clueless. I have had one complain in chat that my moderator bot was about to ban them (as if they were not being an asshole and I was going to stop it from banning them)--it was very clear they had zero clue that they were an asshole, and that the bot was set that way for a reason.

 

[HeadyRaven]

Anyone think it’s weird that this is OP’s only post in 4 years?

It doesn't seem to be unusual for someone to come here and make a big "vent" about a bad experience with a model or a criticism of the industry in general, and then vanish. In this case, there were a few interesting points that could have been discussed, but the fact that the person never returned makes me think it was more of a drive-by criticism.

Folks should know that when they are paying money, a “relationship” is not real. Maybe these sites should have clear disclaimers that we are basically paid actors and anything they see and hear is fiction. I don’t think we’re responsible for the actions of people who don’t know that.

I have seen where some sites have disclaimers like, "Purely for entertainment purposes" while others go into more detail and give warnings. It's kind of amusing that one site - I can't remember which one - has language someplace that says, more or less: "We strongly discourage giving any personal information or interacting outside the site. Do so at your own risk. We will not be responsible for any scams that occur."

Funniest I've seen is some site that has some really specific statement saying, "We will assume no responsibility for adverse outcomes of role plays or other situations arranged between members and models, this includes "blackmail fantasies" that go wrong." lol This makes me wonder what kind of crazy shit went down that caused them to put that specific warning. Then again, if you are dumb enough to play with fire so badly - and you even give real information to make it even more exciting - seems you might have a screw loose to not think something could go wrong. (By the way, for any models: Is this a "thing"? "Blackmail role play"?

Yes, I’m sure some models aren’t that direct but the clients are consenting adults and it should be crystal clear that this is a monetary transaction, because it’s a monetary transaction.

I agree with the caveat I've said before. Many of the so-called "love scam" situations in the posts on this site seem to involve members who are delusional or maybe at the least, reading into things. But some do involve classic scam crap, like the model outright lying in a persistent way about "feelings" for the member or plans for the future, and asking for money for the sick grandmother, or the "I want to meet you in X place but can you wire my Y amount of money in advance to get tickets." And never doing any boundary setting (clarifying that it's a GF experience or some other kind of role play).

Personally, I wonder how common this is. It seems that if someone is doing well as a model, it would be counterproductive, risky, and just a pain in the ass to spend a lot of time conning some dude - maybe unless vast amounts of money are involved. And maybe this is a stereotype, but most of the stories where some clear scam was being done to a sucker, it does appear to almost always be studios in certain parts of the world.

 

[HeadyRaven]

On top of that camming sites just generally being not a good place to meet a partner who’s far away etc, then this members also develop lots of jealousy to girls job and other members even tho they keep consuming her content and shows…

Yet at least based on what I hear from a few models, it seems to be incessant (being asked about interest in meeting or dating, or even marriage). lol Somehow the message that they aren't dating sites is not heard.

 

[HeadyRaven]

You're very naive if you think wealth sunk into a cam girl doesn't create vitriol.

Maybe I'm being dense - what did you mean? Are you meaning that the guys who spend a lot over time tend to become resentful?

 

[HeadyRaven]

if chase away every delusional member, there will be crickets in the chat rooms lol

This is really funny. Maybe a little sad about what it says about men (or at least customers of cam sites)? But still funny. It makes me wonder if what you are saying is: If there weren't so many messed up men, or at least men wanting to fool themselves, the industry might not exist. It's an interesting thought.

 

[EasternPromis]

This is really funny. Maybe a little sad about what it says about men (or at least customers of cam sites)? But still funny. It makes me wonder if what you are saying is: If there weren't so many messed up men, or at least men wanting to fool themselves, the industry might not exist. It's an interesting thought.

When I mean delusional I’m not only talking about “love” stuff. But also about things such as these 1 token yellow wall tippers for Lovense who believe it’s really doing something to model, all this ideas that woman gonna suck dildo standing on her head and cum from it etc can go on and on.

I don’t think men messed up for using cam sites or watching porn. I do however think it’s easier for average woman to get sex irl than for average man, and men just generally more driven to pursuing sex without thinking much about consequences aka “Don’t stick in crazy” stories.

Sex work is the oldest work as we all know, it will exist regardless it’s just changing like other industries with development of technology.

Everything is ok in moderation imo, including porn.

 

[EasternPromis]

Personally, I wonder how common this is. It seems that if someone is doing well as a model, it would be counterproductive, risky, and just a pain in the ass to spend a lot of time conning some dude - maybe unless vast amounts of money are involved. And maybe this is a stereotype, but most of the stories where some clear scam was being done to a sucker, it does appear to almost always be studios in certain parts of the world.

First of all show me a business that worried that their customers will go broke paying for it. Lmao

A cam model is just a tiny business with one employee, problems begin when members forget this.

Just from top of my head I will tell you benefits of having a “bf” member and why it might be worth it on top of significant financial gain:

1. Model may be able to stream less hours and not have to do as much explicit shows on camera if she knows money will come from very private communications with “bf member”. Especially if model concerned about cam recordings and it reaching her family & friends.

2. Working in countries where camming/porn illegal there will be issues with payments from sites from time to time, as model CANT receive money directly from site to her account. And she doesn’t pay taxes on this income.
Typically in this “bf member” situation member transfers money via Western Union and such to the model which makes that money more legal (gift from friend) and helpful when there is disturbances in payments from 3rd party. As an example just currently ongoing problem for Ukrainian models - Paxum on 1 Dec stopped payout in USD to USD bank cards of Ukrainian banks and now only allows payouts in local currency with very low rate and with crazy verification of card every time asking for card statement, selfie with paper and today’s date and photo of the card and it still takes forever to get the money.

3. Model doesn’t plan to make entire camming “career”. She just wants to get by while she’s in college in her early 20s and she doesn’t want to ruing her reputation in her town and to not get to marry nice guy sometime after college. Or she just needs X amount of money for apartment/car and get out. In this situation receiving money from “bf member” is great opportunity to not expose herself much, as she just wants in and out of the industry.


When model “doing well as a model” of course she can decline a lot of stupid BS, but there is still will be special treatment to whales etc just stakes MUCH higher. If men see a woman very desired by many other men its increases their willingness to offer her more.


That’s why usually “love conned” dudes go for models from poor countries where $500 a month is a serious money and he can have influence.
Offer this to home owner model in Miami and it will not get you far. Members abusing this all the time - get models from poor countries do for cheap what western models would do for much more.

 

[yummybrownfox]

By the way, for any models: Is this a "thing"? "Blackmail role play"?

Yup, I’ve had a guy ask me if I would blackmail him with calling his girlfriend or wife. I say no to things like that. Fuck no, I’m not doing that.

If you wanna be a piece of shit boyfriend or husband…disrespecting your wife to another woman, leave me out of that shit. I won’t participate in the harassment or bullying of any innocent person just to earn a few bucks. But if the member would like me to do a small penis humiliation session with him, hey, now we’re talking. But I won’t do racial play, and I won’t tolerate men trying to sneak other name-calling (calling ME names) into the session.

 

[HeadyRaven]

Just from top of my head I will tell you benefits of having a “bf” member

All those benefits make sense.

I get the "girlfriend experience" concept but it seems different because both people know (even if model is not reminding member daily) that it's just a service being provided for money. But in a lot of the "love con" posts, there's an element of model going to extremes to convince member that the situation is real, and she KNOWS the member also thinks it's real. I mean, that's why it's called a con.

It sounds like you don't believe there is a distinction between girlfriend experience (everyone understands what's going on) versus "love scam" (where member is dumb enough and model is overtly lying about wanting eventual real world relationship with member, even if member is looking for reassurance). I took your comments to mean: No matter what the model is saying in one of those "GF/BF" situations, the member should always assume it's fake, and if he DOESN'T, he's deluded or stupid, and the model isn't responsible to point out that he's an imbecile. lol

I guess I have a different mentality. I just can't imagine what guy, whether a rich whale or the average dude, would enjoy a situation where someone is insisting on having feelings, making promises, and so on, but it's lies aimed to extract money. Just human nature. That doesn't seem like same as both of them acknowledging it's a fantasy or role play, or a real sugar daddy arrangement that everyone understands.

 

[HeadyRaven]

I’ve had a guy ask me if I would blackmail him with calling his girlfriend or wife.

Wow. This is another example where people's possible fetishes are endless. Some of them, I just can't relate. I don't see how this would be fun. Maybe some kind of thrill about almost getting caught at something?

 

[EasternPromis]

model going to extremes to convince member that the situation is real

What extremes? You mean she’s just sitting typing on keyboard something new? Lmao

Also, members lying left and right about stories with models to gain sympathy. For example I remember one post here, dude was saying model was transferring money from her sites to him. It’s simply impossible. No site transfers money to anything only to verified model’s payment account unless they signed up with studio then money go to studio account. There ain’t no way site is sending money to someone else who’s in addition to it tax resident of different country. If he’s lying about this, I have doubts about other facts from his post.

It sounds like you don't believe there is a distinction between girlfriend experience (everyone understands what's going on) versus "love scam" (where member is dumb enough and model is overtly lying about wanting eventual real world relationship with member, even if member is looking for reassurance). I took your comments to mean: No matter what the model is saying in one of those "GF/BF" situations, the member should always assume it's fake, and if he DOESN'T, he's deluded or stupid, and the model isn't responsible to point out that he's an imbecile. lol

I do understand what is “distinction” between these things and yeah it’s a great summary of what I think.

Member should always assume it’s fake. Unless your local 20 year olds throwing their wet panties at you… I don’t know why would anyone believe online girlie 20 yo 10/10 is so fascinated by you. With whom you have nothing in common, huge age gap and barely communicate in English.
And it’s so easy to check - stop giving her money and gifts. But they do not stop. You know why? Because they do not want this to end

I guess I have a different mentality. I just can't imagine what guy, whether a rich whale or the average dude, would enjoy a situation where someone is insisting on having feelings, making promises, and so on, but it's lies aimed to extract money

Yeah gold diggers are not a good girls but they’re everywhere, not only in Eastern European cam studios.

 

[Vixxen81]

I guess I have a different mentality. I just can't imagine what guy, whether a rich whale or the average dude, would enjoy a situation where someone is insisting on having feelings, making promises, and so on, but it's lies aimed to extract money.

Because they are lonely and it's just money and there is a false sense of control.

 

[HeadyRaven]

What extremes? You mean she’s just sitting typing on keyboard something new?

No, just the kind of examples you see in the standard "love con" threads. Model is insisting straight up that yes, she really does intend whatever plans she's talking about with the "in love" member; claiming fabricated stuff (I'm thinking of one thread where model she sent picture of her supposed kid for whom she supposedly needed money for something, then member asked a few weeks later for picture of the kid in his new school uniform or something like that, but kid mysteriously grew like 5 inches in the next picture. lol). Just endless variations of this... Standard scamming tactics as would be done on "Meet Russian Brides" websites or similar. Again, maybe not everyone makes this distinction, but I see a difference between model flattering a big-spending member in some GF fantasy, maybe exaggerating how important the dude is to her....versus outright, cringe-level scams about mom needing an expensive medical procedure.

Also, members lying left and right about stories with models to gain sympathy.

I have no doubt that this is true. From one model alone, I've heard a lot of stories.

I don’t know why would anyone believe online girlie 20 yo 10/10 is so fascinated by you. With whom you have nothing in common, huge age gap and barely communicate in English.

Well, this is no different in real life if you see an older guy with a much younger, much better looking woman. Jimmy Page of Led Zep is 79 years old and his live-in girlfriend is 34. When they met, he was 69 and she was 24. We get it.

Not to nitpick, but not all love scam stories involve huge age differences. A lot of them are 27 year old dude and 21 year old model. In those cases, the guy isn't going to think, "This can't possibly be legit; she has to be pretending because I'm old enough to be her dad." But, just seeing pics occasionally (when members put their profiles for public view), there are members that may be in a possible age range, but other things still make you wonder. Like, okay, you're 28 and you can't get a halfway decent-looking girlfriend where you live - but this super attractive model is infatuated with you?

And it’s so easy to check - stop giving her money and gifts. But they do not stop. You know why? Because they do not want this to end

I can understand some guys might not want a fantasy to end. Especially if they don't know (or don't want to know) it's fake.