Opinions about personal preferences to initiate an exclusive PVT

[Deleted member 100707]

Hey everyone,

I have been thinking about how I usually approach booking a private show, and I would love to hear what models actually think about it.
Before starting a show with someone new, I tend to ask quite a few questions. I want to know how much time the model has available, because I prefer longer sessions of around 40 minutes or more. I also like shows that build up gradually rather than jumping straight into things. A bit of teasing, an oil show, working up to more over time. That kind of pacing feels a lot better to me than rushing.

One thing I always do is buy toy control and pay for any extras the model wants to offer. If a model has something she enjoys doing or wants to add, I am happy to pay for it. I try to approach the whole thing with respect, and I accept any no without question and never bring it up again.

What I have noticed over time is that when a model brings her own ideas into a show, things feel more relaxed on both sides and the whole experience is genuinely better. I also find myself coming back more often to models who show some initiative, and that is usually how I become a regular somewhere.

That said, I know that asking about preferences does not always get a real answer. A lot of the time the response is simply "I do all" and the conversation moves on or ends. I understand that, but I am sometimes left wondering whether I am asking too much upfront or whether there is a better way to approach it.

The one thing I do ask for in every show is that other platforms and tabs are closed during our time together. I am on Stripchat/XHamsterLive, so that is the context here.

I would genuinely love to hear from as many models here as possible. What works for you when a new member reaches out before a show? Is there anything that makes the whole thing feel easier or more comfortable on your end?
Thanks a lot in advance if you take the time to share your thoughts. I really appreciate it.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Hi. I would much rather prefer a guy just be upfront and politely ask "Will you ___________ in private?" instead of ask "What all do you do in private?" Tbh that's a pet peeve of mine, and the moment you come at me with "What all do you do in private?" without even a greeting beforehand, it's already giving me the impression that you're gonna be a cheap, demanding guy that will get on my nerves. Lol.

Besides...offering a variety of things doesn't mean I want to do ALL of those things right then and there in that one session. And I feel like guys asking that question actually will expect the model to do every single one of those things she's listed. Many of these "What all do you do?" guys end up not even paying for a show, because I think they're trying to be slick...hoping the model will give explicit details about what she'll do so they can be all "Mmmm, that's so hot bb."

Or there will be the "What all do you do?" guys who are cheap and demanding...trying to do a quickie, rushed show where they're demanding you twist your body into a pretzel while they continuously bark orders at you. Uh...NO, THANK YOU. Lol.

That's my long-winded way of saying...I prefer you just straight up ask politely "Will you _________ in private?"

 

[Vixxen81]

Disclaimer: I am not on Stripchat.

That said, I don't like to be interviewed. If something is already on my tip menu that's pretty much where my limits reside. I don't like to be pushed to orgasm or even really talk about it at all. That's your fantasy (perhaps), not mine. If insisted upon I'll end it or grow so visibly uncomfortable the entire universe will feel the energy. If I don't have toy play or control toy play on the menu, it's not an option without a substantial tip of 500+ tokens.

I think with most of these answers you're going to get unique viewpoints of all sizes. Some models love to watch and provide a genuine cum show experience, some are happy to fake it til they make it, others are not.

If were to bring something to the table it's my kink of guy-on-guy oral and whooboy that's a toughy to broach without the guy bringing it up first.

 

[Deleted member 100707]

Hi @yummybrownfox, thanks for your honest reply, I really appreciate it. And I think we are not that far apart actually.

Of course I say hello first, that goes without saying. And I do not ask for a list of everything someone does. I have a few specific things I want to clarify beforehand, and that usually goes quite quickly. If it works, great. If not, happens.

The reason I ask at all comes down to experience. Profiles very often do not match what actually happens, whether it is the things someone offers, the schedule, or the pricing. And you simply do not know beforehand what kind of person you are dealing with, what potential language barriers there might be, what the personality is like, or whether there are studio rules involved. You find all of that out in conversation. I am talking exclusively about models I have never interacted with before.

I also do not expect everything to happen in one single show. I prefer longer shows with a natural build and some relaxed moments in between. A good second show is worth more to me than one overwhelming first one.

@Vixxen81 on the pushing during a show: I do not do that either. What I will say is that I am not a fan of a show starting and then nothing really happening, but that is a different thing entirely.

And the "Mmmm, that's so hot bb" is genuinely not my thing either. On that we definitely agree.

 

[NotYou]

OP you have to remember the model could get asked this a hundred times every day so it's always easier for them to say "everything" or "most things" or similar.
Even if you ask "what do you enjoy in private" it's still a hugely vague question with a million possible answers, it all depends on mood and the day etc and them having to try explain that to you (and again, another hundred guys) is exhausting, so instead do what they have suggested above or before rushing to a show, tip her in the public room, get to know her, how she is, what she seems to like and you will get to find this stuff out once you're a regular.

 

[Vixxen81]

And the "Mmmm, that's so hot bb" is genuinely not my thing either. On that we definitely agree.

I feel like there is a difference between a cam girl and a porn star/full-service sex worker. And that kind of talk goes into the last two categories. Again that's just me, but I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Through experience I've grown more confident in shutting things down immediately.

This reminded me of another really strong cringe thing for me -- expecting the same level of enthusiasm or engagement every time. We're human, too.

The only time my private shows are "just sitting there" is if no tips on top are happening. My rate is to take me behind closed doors, it does not guarantee actions per token per minute.

 

[ElGato]

This reminded me of another really strong cringe thing for me -- expecting the same level of enthusiasm or engagement every time. We're human, too.

Good point! Exactly like IRL sex/intimacy. Who knew? lol

As far as detailed privates like that, I don't know... If I want to see sexual acts, I'll just tip for it in open chat.

The privates I do are more like "Lets just hang out naked, chat, and flirt" That's the type of encounter I prefer to be one-on-one, private. I'll tip for the actions I want but they are things like certain lingerie, topless, nude... Things to keep the movement going while we are actually conversing on shared interests. There's a handful of models I follow that really enjoy these type of privates... usually at the beginning of the stream or the end. Sometimes in the middle of the stream if it's slow and it would be more profitable per minute than what she is earning in free chat.

With models I've never had a private with, I do communicate my wishes via PM prior. That I'm more prone to tip for songs or poses but not a bad dragon in the ass lol
But by that point I've already figured out if the model is someone I could just "hang" with as real people.
I'm weird, I know.

 

[ts_cammer98]

Hi. I would much rather prefer a guy just be upfront and politely ask "Will you ___________ in private?" instead of ask "What all do you do in private?"

This right here is how I prefer it 100%! It's straight to the point. If I say yes, then we can chat about other details like estimated length and such before beginning the show.

OP you have to remember the model could get asked this a hundred times every day so it's always easier for them to say "everything" or "most things" or similar.

And this right here is why I prefer it that way.

Through experience I've grown more confident in shutting things down immediately.

and this right here is not really for the viewers reading this, but more for the newer models out there. It may sound a bit counterintuitive when your beginning or even sort of harsh, but trust me on this, It's not! It's the complete opposite actually, repeat business is not only good for the model but for the viewer too. I'm also sure the viewer doesn't want to be led onto a very mediocre show as well. You get to establish that model/viewer relationship a bit, making the show even more exclusive for them and learn the viewers likes/dislikes to keep improving that private show when they come back. Your not going to get much repeat business as a model if your doing your weakest acts or skills or whatever all the time, or especially if it's something you don't really want to do in the first place, as there are models out there that do those things much much better with more enthusiasm. Advertise those strengths and set expectations! Your also putting the foot into the door as a model for the viewer to talk you into doing things you don't want to or are bad at if you don't just shut it down immediately.

I know each model is a little different. I don't charge much for pms, but because of that I also don't prioritize pms like at all (and I set those expectations too, so I really don't ever get anyone upset over this). I talk more than type and typing takes away from the public show. I deal with a lot of tire kickers all day long, so the quicker the viewer gets to the point, the better. A 20 min or longer q&a session with very broad questions is something I never take seriously because most of the time it never leads to a pvt in the first place, and if I put too much attention into that my public show can hurt from it.

I used to really dislike pvts that are initiated out of the blue with 0 chat or 0 indication on what the viewer might want, but as a model you tend to adjust. I put on a very generic opening if this happens and always mention "hey this is your show, if you want me to do anything specific just let me know in the chat" and if they never say a word then I put on a very generic basic show that I sort of developed over the years that escalates as the time moves on.

 

[Deleted member 100707]

Thanks everyone for the many responses, this has been genuinely useful and I want to respond to a few things honestly.

The "will you X" framing makes sense as a starting point and I will take that on board. The broader point about pre-show questions is fair too. That said, I want to push back gently on one thing: how do you actually go into a private with someone you have never met before and have no idea what to expect? With models I already know, sure, I read the room and go from there. But with a completely new person, three short questions save both of us time. I am not running a 20 minute interview. I am trying to find out in a few messages whether it makes sense to proceed at all.

On the money side it really depends on where you are and what kind of shows we are talking about. I am not a whale and I am not online every day. But with models where things clicked, within one or two months I have easily left 4000 to 5000 tokens, with and without private shows. For models who want to build a real regular base rather than chase one-time tips, that kind of consistency is worth something.

The cam girl versus full service comparison is genuinely not my world and not what I am looking for, so I will leave that one aside.

What I will say, not as a comparison to what models deal with because that would be unfair, is that the member side has its own noise. On any given day I have five to ten messages waiting from accounts I have never spoken to, all variations of "hi baby", "hey love how are you", "hiii bb hru". Studio models I have barely interacted with sometimes ask me directly whether I can help them reach their daily goal. To give a concrete example from yesterday, someone wrote: "hi baby it was a really bad day, I want to go home and I need 323tk and I couldn't get it done two hours ago." That is a real message, not an invention. Other users, male ones, occasionally write asking if I can top up their account. This happens two or three times a month. None of that is comparable to what a model faces daily, I know that. But it means that when I reach out to someone new I am already trying to set a different tone than what I see in my own inbox every day.

The honest question that stays with me is this: what actually signals to a model at first contact that a conversation is worth having, before more money flows into a private show? I am asking this directly to the people writing here, because you are exactly the ones whose answer would actually tell me something.

@Vixxen81 you wrote "we are human too" and that is actually exactly the starting point I try to work from. I am consciously trying not to fall into the pattern you described. I know from models that many viewers do exactly that. What genuinely interests me is why my approach gave you the opposite impression, because that is something I would actually like to understand.

 

[ts_cammer98]

Honestly if your keeping it brief, your approach sounds just fine. We are all so different as models, and you are too as viewers. Your going to find more models you like as a viewer being a little flexible for different personalities and same way with models, they need to be a little flexible too. We are only a small taste of what is out there so you don't have to do exactly how we are saying here.

I guarantee your going to be more likely to find models that love what they are doing and are genuinely interested in giving a show your going to love more with independents that are not chasing you for business. I'm pretty strongly opinionated when it comes to models that poach or spend all their time chasing viewers. If I was a viewer, I would take a model begging me for business as a sign that there is a reason they are that available. It's one thing to ask for tips from time to time as a model in your own room (your kind of a fool if you don't), but it can make things less entertaining in a heartbeat if it's overdone. Everytime I've looked into a room of a model I've seen poaching for biz, its like a very depressing sight, they are not enthused, they are just typing/doing things on the pc, and most importantly not smiling ever. It gets more depressing if you look them up on cbhours.com and see that they are putting in 6-8 hour days 5 times a week with no more than 5 viewers in their rooms ever and only very few pvts sprinkled throughout their time online. I wouldn't even do this if it was like that. Another thing is that I feel bad for them as it would take a pretty bad situation I feel to push forward through such little business. This is supposed to be fun. I know I like to complain about my situation from time to time as a trans in a country that seems to want to lash out at me for some reason, but I'm still living in luxury compared to the situations those types of models are probably in and its kind of a dark side of this industry and the definition of exploitation.

 

[Vixxen81]

My statements are about my experiences, not directed at or assuming anything about you.

There are other people who will read this thread in the future.

 

[darcyduke]

I agree with what the other models have said here - being upfront is key. However, I tend to lose patience after a tonne of questions, and I wonder if the user is actually getting off on them, so I'll ask to be paid to go into detail. That usually sorts the meat from the chaff.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

“What do you like to do in private?” Is such a hard question to answer because I’m immediately trying to read your mind and figure out what you want.

Cos my genuine answer is I’d like to eat pizza and watch tv while you pay me but that’s probably not what you want lol

I guess I’d like an approach that’s like “hey I’m looking for a sexual show where we both masturbate and enjoy ourselves. Are you up for that? “ followed by a question like “I really like x and y, but I also love incorporating your own ideas and I like a girl who has some idea of what she wants and likes.. so id love if you showed me your fav toys or any specific things you like? Like maybe roleplay, or a specific position or toy or fetish you like?”

That gives me like a framework - and I can suggest something from there

 

[MarieElise]

Yeah my time is limited online live, so I appreciate guys who know what they want and use specific language to state directly what that is.

I get mini interviews or attempted mini interviews all shift long, and it's a total turn off and snooze fest for me. Because I only talk for prolonged periods of time in free chat, with long term regs, not new guys.

But I guess a lot of new guys assume the guys I'm chatting with for a while, are new too, they're not. Lots of the people I shoot the shit with in public chat, are clients I've had and known (in this context) for a long time. Like Darcy said after 2 non specific, overly wide, general questions from a Newb, I tend to assume it's not a serious buyer, and move to ignore/ focus on someone something else. I also tend to assume they are not that horny, because they don't seem to have a clear sexual desire or direction of their own. So it seems like they're kind of lost and floundering expecting me to hand hold them, and lead them to their own sexual self discovery.

That isn't my place or my job. I figure most adults know what turns them on, so I don't waste time with that. My eyes glaze over, and I start to get turned off and or confused why they won't just say what they are looking for. From my experience it doesn't work when guys find a model who's physically attractive to them, but doesn't enjoy the same stuff sexually. A lot of guys try to change what they like to get a show with me, and I strongly encourage them just to find another model who likes and offers what they like. Because trying to force it hasn't really worked out in my past experiences in this context, and just leads to frustration on both sides. Maybe I'm oversimplifying but at the early stages my opinion is just kinda black and white on this. You spit out what you're into, I say whether I'm into it too, and feel like it at that specific moment. If I don't you move on to another model, if I do, you begin the show.