Accidental whale, how to become a dolphin?

[mefd]

Hi all! First post after lurking here a few days and I was hoping for some advice. I think a cam girl loves me! (just kidding)

My foray into "whale" territory probably happened as many do... after jumping between models, I found a favorite. And one night, a bit intoxicated and with the room buzzing, I dropped 5k tokens before I even knew it. Well, fast forward about a week and I've dropped more than 50k tokens on my favorite model. No regrets whatsoever, but unfortunately I'm not an Arabian prince or dogecoin millionaire and need to cut things back.

I want to continue to support this model and become at least semi-regular... her room usually has only 100 people or so, and the one time I popped in anonymously there was basically no one tipping, so I want to help however I can. It may be in my head, but the last few shows it seemed like she upped the cadence once I joined the room... clothes started coming off after just a few tips, which made me think she was just getting prepped for some bigger tips from me to come in (and to be fair, they did lol). But honestly, she could keep her clothes on and I'd still tip. In the future I'd like my tips to be more of a show of support instead of the tips that kick off a cumshow.

Should I tell this model I'll be tipping less? I wouldn't want her to think that something she's doing/not doing is keeping me from tipping, or start relying on a certain tip amount from me. Also, what is the best way to spread out tips? Like, if I'm going to spend ~4k tokens a month, how would you prefer to get those tips? A few hundred tokens on a slow day? Nickle tips throughout the show to try and encourage other people in the room to tip? Or larger tips on the busy days? What is best to help drive a model up the "charts"?

Thanks for reading and for any advice! I've read a few other threads about whales, and I think the main reason for the "weekly" whales that just drop a bunch of tokens and then vanish is similar to my situation... we just don't know how to continue tipping at a normal level, or we feel bad that we can't whale all the time. There's nothing better than the giddy smile of your favorite model when you drop a "make my day" tip

 

[NotYou]

I am just a user like yourself but If things are good between you both and she is a nice enough person, then I would definitely say to be honest (not too in-depth). Literally, just say it was a one time kind of occurrence because you are not rich and you have your own expenses so you have your own budget to spend on her. If she gets too angry or whatever, then don't feel bad for it as you need to stick with your budget,

 

[KenzieCams]

Just tell her like you told us. She will be cool about it. I would be. I've had a few whales suddenly not tip as much without any explanation. If there is one thing I've learned as a model, it's that whales have an expiration date. They aren't forever, but there's always a new one that will come. So don't stress it.

 

[Smores]

In your shoes I would give the model total transparency to everything you have told us here.

"I sent you a huge amount of tokens last week, because I am new to this and I really loved your show. But I completely overspent my budget by a very large amount and I need to cut back my spending. Going forward you can expect me to spend between $X and $Y every time I am in your room. Also, you do not need to take anything off for me unless I ask for it. I will send the money anyway."

Use your own words. But she will appreciate understanding the past and future behavior of an important customer.

 

[bbbbadddd]

You're over-thinking this. Really not all that rare. Lots of people tip heavy once or a few times and then completely disappear. You're not under any obligation to tip some amount or explain yourself. Just tip what you're comfortable with spending. She'll figure it out.

 

[MarieElise]

If she's a busy, popular, 1st page model then what user bbadd above me said is probably fine. If she is generally a quiet, less busy model, then what Brett and Smores said. That's my opinion. Nice of you to care and ask though, I applaud the conscientious consideration. Refreshing.

 

[Mila_]

A single comment like "Hey, I wont be able to do this every day I visit, I am just a regular employee with a salary, but I would love to continue to support you within my means " should be enough for her to get the message. Spare any specific details of your situation or budget woes to make the conversation less awkward.

Generally what I want with my guys is for them to tip me in a sustainable way so they stick around. I prefer to make less from each person but have them stick around and be a part of my community than to have them blow all their savings in a month and then vanish. It's better all around.

Now my tips on how to tip (lol):

a) Tip merrily.. meaning.. when you feel like it. Don't overthink it.
b) Join others when they tip without one-upping them. This way any other tippers in the room will see there are others who will support the show too, so things are more likely to progress.
c) Don't be too predictable: it is better if you vary the amount of tokens you tip her on each session and the way you tip them. This is because if you are the only person or one of the few people tipping and you fall into a pattern the other users will be expecting you to tip at certain times and will sit back and wait for you to come through instead of pitching in. She might also get tired. Similarly, it's better to not tip in a couple of shows so you can save some more tokens to make a splash on the third... go by ear.
d) Especially helpful tips are those who motivate the room, those who keep the model's morale high and encourage other members to tip too. Some of them are: the first tip when she puts up a goal, starting a yellow wall, the last tips to make a goal, joining in if others tip, if there's been too long a lull and she is getting tired you might want to tip something a little significant to help with motivation.
e) Tell her you are not expecting her to perform for your tips, that you are only there to support her. This is the single thing that makes me think highly of a user, when they aren't expecting me to perform... not just sexually but in general. However, she will want to keep her show sexual and will want you to continue to tip towards sexy goals because this is what encourages the other users to tip.. and she has to make her goals In general you don't need to tell her, just show up consistently and tip her when there isnt a goal up, or right before she leaves, etc.. you know.. tips to show her that without saying it. She will figure it out on her own that you are truly there for her, it isn't too difficult to figure out.

 

[nightwish]

Don't bother about it, everybody has his limits. As a model you have to understand that and as user you surely have to, else you become in dept. I 'm with a model i like very much, so i tipped her 30k on her birthday and occasionally 2-3k. But overall there are more days i only spent 100 in her room. And she's fine with it. Actually she never asked about it why nor did she complain. She's not very popular, certainly not high rated, but she's comfortable with it. I hope i can speak for other models here, else, knock me down

 

[Makko]

I was a bit similar like OP. Tipped her 10k in the first week I visited her. But I told her right after a big tip that I can't do that all the time. I had a bonus from work so I had a bit more to spend that month.
I still visit her after about half a year. Sometimes I tip her 1000 and sometimes 50. It depends on the day and situation really.

I keep my tipping very organized. I have a set amount I can spend each month and so when there are days I tip less, I can tip the next days a bit more and vice versa.

 

[JessicaXOXOXO]

Hi all! First post after lurking here a few days and I was hoping for some advice. I think a cam girl loves me! (just kidding)

My foray into "whale" territory probably happened as many do... after jumping between models, I found a favorite. And one night, a bit intoxicated and with the room buzzing, I dropped 5k tokens before I even knew it. Well, fast forward about a week and I've dropped more than 50k tokens on my favorite model. No regrets whatsoever, but unfortunately I'm not an Arabian prince or dogecoin millionaire and need to cut things back.

I want to continue to support this model and become at least semi-regular... her room usually has only 100 people or so, and the one time I popped in anonymously there was basically no one tipping, so I want to help however I can. It may be in my head, but the last few shows it seemed like she upped the cadence once I joined the room... clothes started coming off after just a few tips, which made me think she was just getting prepped for some bigger tips from me to come in (and to be fair, they did lol). But honestly, she could keep her clothes on and I'd still tip. In the future I'd like my tips to be more of a show of support instead of the tips that kick off a cumshow.

Should I tell this model I'll be tipping less? I wouldn't want her to think that something she's doing/not doing is keeping me from tipping, or start relying on a certain tip amount from me. Also, what is the best way to spread out tips? Like, if I'm going to spend ~4k tokens a month, how would you prefer to get those tips? A few hundred tokens on a slow day? Nickle tips throughout the show to try and encourage other people in the room to tip? Or larger tips on the busy days? What is best to help drive a model up the "charts"?

Thanks for reading and for any advice! I've read a few other threads about whales, and I think the main reason for the "weekly" whales that just drop a bunch of tokens and then vanish is similar to my situation... we just don't know how to continue tipping at a normal level, or we feel bad that we can't whale all the time. There's nothing better than the giddy smile of your favorite model when you drop a "make my day" tip

I would say something like, "As always you are amazing! I'll always support you when I can online just may not be the high amounts I have in the past." Driving a model up the charts is always the amount earned vs. the amount of time online. I always prefer my top supporters to pay me as directly as possible so I pay the least amount in fees. If a fan wants to give me $5,000 I'd rather get as close to $5,000 as I can vs the $2,500 usually received on a token based site. Same amount to you as a customer - WAY different amount directly to the model depending on the site.

If you stick to token sites and supporting her that way. I'd say I'd appreciate 1000 tokens at a time vs someone tipping in random amounts. Makes me feel better as a model

 

[JessicaXOXOXO]

Don't bother about it, everybody has his limits. As a model you have to understand that and as user you surely have to, else you become in dept. I 'm with a model i like very much, so i tipped her 30k on her birthday and occasionally 2-3k. But overall there are more days i only spent 100 in her room. And she's fine with it. Actually she never asked about it why nor did she complain. She's not very popular, certainly not high rated, but she's comfortable with it. I hope i can speak for other models here, else, knock me down

A 30k tip would blow my mind. I'm sure she loved it.

 

[Smoothie]

I have a feeling all tipping members have moments when they realize they’ve tipped more than they can sustain, or more than they’re comfortable spending all the time, and have to dial it back.

It’s good that you caught yourself though, rather than exhaust your reserves and be forced to disappear completely.

Absolutely no shame in admitting it to the model, IMO. It’s actually a flattering thing if you phrase it right. She did an amazing job entertaining you, you forgot your limits and spent too much. I reckon there are worse things than keeping a member around that enjoys your show that much (just don’t get weird about it), even if his token expenditures have to get smaller.

 

[Lelo1]

bit intoxicated

I dropped 5k tokens

It's probable not a good idea to mix drugs and cams.

I've dropped more than 50k tokens

If that's tokens, then you're saying you have spent about 4,000 USD in total? Is that debt you now have to pay off?

I'm not an Arabian prince or dogecoin millionaire and need to cut things back.

If you don't want to spend that much money on cams, the easiest thing to do, is stop going to the cams sites. Find some thing else to do, like a new hobby.

I want to continue to support this model

Should I tell this model I'll be tipping less?

try and encourage other people in the room to tip?

Your job is to take care of yourself. The model is going to be fine. You don't need to worry about them.
Hanging out in the room, just puts you in a position where your more likely to tip.

 

[mefd]

Thank you all for the responses! I wasn't expecting so much feedback and appreciate it. Sounds like honesty is the best policy... I'll keep it simple

Now my tips on how to tip (lol):

This is great advice and exactly what I was looking for as far as "tipping etiquette" goes, thanks for taking the time to share!

If you don't want to spend that much money on cams, the easiest thing to do, is stop going to the cams sites. Find some thing else to do, like a new hobby.

With all due respect, I didn't post to get lectures on how to spend my money. I'm a grown adult, the $4k is already paid off, and as I said I have no regrets. If I start missing mortgage payments or tapping my 401k I'll go get some therapy. I take care of myself just fine... Cam models provide a service I enjoy (as do the Twitch or Patreon creators I also contribute to). I like to pay for that service to encourage them to keep camming.

Also, if I were a dogecoin millionaire, I would not hesitate dropping a 500k tip. You can't take it with you, might as well spread it around!

 

[rockin_rod]

Like so many have said, I'd suggest total honesty with the model.
It could be argued that how much you tip is only your business, which is true, but if your behavior changes, consider it a courtesy to tell her.
There is no reason she wouldn't understand, and appreciate you explaining.

BUT.......
if you do this, then you owe it to yourself AND the model to stick to what you've said you'll do. If you get carried away again (especially after a few drinks) then she will be confused and perhaps lose confidence in your honesty.
I've been as guilty as anyone of getting carried away in the past, and (for what it's worth) what worked for me was this:

Back off visiting the room so regularly - skip a few shows, and mix up the days you do go in.
Decide on a token limit for that day, before you go into the room, and do not overspend that limit.
Don't buy a much larger number of tokens at a time - if you see the token balance, your brain tells you that is your new limit.
If you tip larger amounts, reduce the time you spend in the room during a given show to stick to limits.
Say goodbye and thank the model when you leave the room.

Good luck, hope you continue to have fun!

 

[mefd]

BUT.......
if you do this, then you owe it to yourself AND the model to stick to what you've said you'll do.

TBH I'm already a bit guilty of this... I dropped a "make my day" tip, said I would have to lay low the rest of the show, then proceeded to tip a bunch of smaller tips that added up to another big tip. It was a birthday show though, so at least I had some excuse! I've already considered dropping in for smaller amounts of time and basically budgeting tips across shows... since my tipping splurge I've only popped in once. Said I couldn't stay too long and left 100 token tip to show some love and then wished her a good night. At least I can use the advice in this thread to gauge when to stick around to motivate others to tip!

I mentioned how I'm a fan of Twitch above... I think it would be great if cam sites would let you distribute tokens to other users, the same way you can gift subscriptions on Twitch. Make it so they can only spend the tokens on that model or they get added back to your account at the end of the show. Could be a great way to get others tipping and maybe entice them to use some of their own tokens

 

[Smores]

I mentioned how I'm a fan of Twitch above... I think it would be great if cam sites would let you distribute tokens to other users, the same way you can gift subscriptions on Twitch. Make it so they can only spend the tokens on that model or they get added back to your account at the end of the show. Could be a great way to get others tipping and maybe entice them to use some of their own tokens

Brilliant product marketing idea.... I love the "use it or lose it" aspect of this. The problem I see is that CB has a problem with stolen credit cards being used to launder money using tokens. So the thief could buy 20K tokens, distribute them to non-affiliated users, who then spend the money on a model who is giving a kickback to the thief. That could create an administrative nightmare to unwind that. So CB would need to limit this feature to whales who have a perfect track record that extends over a long period of time.

 

[yummybrownfox]

A single comment like "Hey, I wont be able to do this every day I visit, I am just a regular employee with a salary, but I would love to continue to support you within my means " should be enough for her to get the message. Spare any specific details of your situation or budget woes to make the conversation less awkward.

Generally what I want with my guys is for them to tip me in a sustainable way so they stick around. I prefer to make less from each person but have them stick around and be a part of my community than to have them blow all their savings in a month and then vanish. It's better all around.

This, this, this!

 

[LenaSexton]

Caring enough to explain your need to budget is very courteous and would be greatly appreciated by us camgirls-especially those of us who are not top girls on the site. As someone said most whales have an expiration date and when they stop coming around they do not explain why in most cases. I have had a very dedicated regular for the past couple of years, but he stopped tipping when MFC stopped using Epoch in mid June. I asked him if there was a reason why he would not use a card to purchase tokens and he said he had gotten out of control with his spending before and that using Epoch's platform kept him from going over his budget.

I couldn't blame him for his position as we all have vices that we like to spend money on and sometimes have to reign it in. It just sucks, because my room doesn't get a lot of traffic most days as is so when a regular stops coming around you notice.