Some people think I'm a bit weird, but when a girl rejects me, I always find the entertainment value in it.
If anyone else out there is twisted in that same way, I thought we could share some funny stories of rejection.
So a few years ago, I met this girl at work. Had an instant crush on her. I was so attracted to her she actually kinda turned me into a teenage boy where I was afraid to talk to her. But after a few encounters I sacked up and asked her out.
A week or so later we meet up. Have some appetizers, a couple of drinks. Head to a bowling alley. We play a game or two, then play some pool.
THEN she says she wants to go to a karaoke bar nearby...
I am not a karaoke guy. I don't do it. Ever. I will go to a bar, I will watch my friends sing, I will cheer for them but I never get up. I can't sing and I am fully aware I can't sing, so I'm not really a fan of the idea of drawing that attention to me.
But she's cute so ofcourse I'm like "Hell yeah let's go!" Plus I had a few drinks at this point so my reservations were mostly gone.
When we step inside, we order drinks and she says "What song are you going to sing?" Now the fear begins to rise again. But again I'm trying to be a cool guy so I just say "I'm gonna surprise you!"
I look through the book and finally make a decision. An old Elvis song. "Kiss me quick" (see below) I figure it's cute and silly enough and if she digs it, maybe I'll get a kiss out of it.
I warn her that I'm a terrible singer when they call my name. Walk up to the stage and take the mic. She walks up and stands near the stage. The music starts, and so do I.
And it's bad. Really bad. But I know the words, and I'm staying with the song.
But then! She is grinning from ear to ear and even wiggling a bit to the music! Holy shit! I start pointing at her and singing it straight to her and she seems to be loving it! I grab her by the hand and pull her on stage with me and she starts dancing around me. At this point I am singing my drunken ass off because my ego is through the fucking roof! In my head I am throwing a victory parade to myself and just picturing telling this story to ALL of my friends that said I couldn't get this girl.
The song ends. She throws her arms around me, and kisses me. Not like a make out, but a solid kiss on the lips. Everyone watching in the bar ofcourse claps and "awwwwww"s because it's cheesy and bla bla bla.
We stay awhile longer. She sings a song as well but my brain was spinning the rest of the night so I have no idea what she sang or if she was good.
We leave the bar, I walk her home.
At her door we say our goodnights, and I lean in...
Aaaaaaaaand she pulls back.
She says "ummm? what?"
Me: "Huh? Oh sorry, you don't kiss on the first date?"
Her: "Date?"
Me: "... uhhh yeah"
Her: "Wait. Aren't you gay?"
Apparently, we were having a BFF night, and I had no idea.
The car I'm sitting in for my victory parade suddenly swerves and drives me off a bridge.
The song in case anybody doesn't know it:
If anyone else out there is twisted in that same way, I thought we could share some funny stories of rejection.
So a few years ago, I met this girl at work. Had an instant crush on her. I was so attracted to her she actually kinda turned me into a teenage boy where I was afraid to talk to her. But after a few encounters I sacked up and asked her out.
A week or so later we meet up. Have some appetizers, a couple of drinks. Head to a bowling alley. We play a game or two, then play some pool.
THEN she says she wants to go to a karaoke bar nearby...
I am not a karaoke guy. I don't do it. Ever. I will go to a bar, I will watch my friends sing, I will cheer for them but I never get up. I can't sing and I am fully aware I can't sing, so I'm not really a fan of the idea of drawing that attention to me.
But she's cute so ofcourse I'm like "Hell yeah let's go!" Plus I had a few drinks at this point so my reservations were mostly gone.
When we step inside, we order drinks and she says "What song are you going to sing?" Now the fear begins to rise again. But again I'm trying to be a cool guy so I just say "I'm gonna surprise you!"
I look through the book and finally make a decision. An old Elvis song. "Kiss me quick" (see below) I figure it's cute and silly enough and if she digs it, maybe I'll get a kiss out of it.
I warn her that I'm a terrible singer when they call my name. Walk up to the stage and take the mic. She walks up and stands near the stage. The music starts, and so do I.
And it's bad. Really bad. But I know the words, and I'm staying with the song.
But then! She is grinning from ear to ear and even wiggling a bit to the music! Holy shit! I start pointing at her and singing it straight to her and she seems to be loving it! I grab her by the hand and pull her on stage with me and she starts dancing around me. At this point I am singing my drunken ass off because my ego is through the fucking roof! In my head I am throwing a victory parade to myself and just picturing telling this story to ALL of my friends that said I couldn't get this girl.
The song ends. She throws her arms around me, and kisses me. Not like a make out, but a solid kiss on the lips. Everyone watching in the bar ofcourse claps and "awwwwww"s because it's cheesy and bla bla bla.
We stay awhile longer. She sings a song as well but my brain was spinning the rest of the night so I have no idea what she sang or if she was good.
We leave the bar, I walk her home.
At her door we say our goodnights, and I lean in...
Aaaaaaaaand she pulls back.
She says "ummm? what?"
Me: "Huh? Oh sorry, you don't kiss on the first date?"
Her: "Date?"
Me: "... uhhh yeah"
Her: "Wait. Aren't you gay?"
Apparently, we were having a BFF night, and I had no idea.
The car I'm sitting in for my victory parade suddenly swerves and drives me off a bridge.
The song in case anybody doesn't know it:
