I want to tell everyone about something I try to do at least once or twice in the weeks leading up to Christmas. It is something I do for myself, it makes me feel good, and I am without regret in my selfishness.
First I have a confession to make; recently I said, I did not believe in god. That is not true - I said that because my god was so far out of context, that the explanation of my god would not have made sense at the time. My god does not embody any of those all powerful, all supreme, all knowing qualities, that a lot of other ppl feel their God does. My god is not a single entity, or even a discernible number of things. In fact my god might best be described as nothing at all, yet to me it is as real as anything else I know. I can not pray to my god and think it will change the arch in the orbit of a single electron. I get no DM's from my god, cryptic or otherwise. Yet, I am so connected to my god that I understand it to be part of me, and I know I have influence in my god, that change things in ways too expansive for me to ever understand. I know the voice of my god well, and my god speaks to me all the time, and directs my life to a great extent.
I feel like this^^^^^^^^^ has nothing to do with the title of this thread, or the opening paragraph, and I am writing the dam thing, I can only imagine how you must feel about now. :roll: ......... I will come back to it and you will understand its relevance,,,, I hope.
I stood at the head of the line at the local Barnes and Noble contemplating the extra $10 I had found in my pocket. Should I add it to the $25 I had planed to spend on a gift card, or keep it and use it in some meaningless way on fast food or other random crap? Nether I decided, I would use it in a selfish act to make myself feel good.
Sitting in my car in the B&N parking lot with two gift cards, one for $20 which I put in the center console, and another for $15 in my hand it did not take long to spot my victim. She was driving a Volvo wagon at least 20 years old, and though it was not a rat of a car it did not have the look of a car being kept in pristine condition. She had not found a close parking spot and looked a bit frustrated as she parked and made her way around to the opposite side of the car to help a 5 or 6 year old child from the passenger side of the car.
I easily made it to the first set of double doors before the lady and little girl, and holding the door open for them to enter, I caught the woman's eye and said, "excuse me, I have a gift card I have no use for, I thought you could maybe use it."
My god, was in the smile of the lady that seemed to say, you don't know how much I can use it. In the smile of the little girl who at first ducked half way behind her mother's leg and then realized it was a nice strange man. And in the smile of the cashier who I had told of my plan when buying the cards, and I glanced over to see had noticed me at the door.
My god was in all those smiles, and is made up of all the smiles of everyone everywhere. As I settled back into the car seat and reached up to adjust my rear view mirror, and caught myself grinning broadly I was aware I had just done a selfish act. I know that that $15 gift card made me feel good and that was the reason I had done it. I also felt I had shared a little bit of my god with the world and was ok with that.
In the next few weeks, Do Something Selfish, or Meet My God, and post about that experience here.
First I have a confession to make; recently I said, I did not believe in god. That is not true - I said that because my god was so far out of context, that the explanation of my god would not have made sense at the time. My god does not embody any of those all powerful, all supreme, all knowing qualities, that a lot of other ppl feel their God does. My god is not a single entity, or even a discernible number of things. In fact my god might best be described as nothing at all, yet to me it is as real as anything else I know. I can not pray to my god and think it will change the arch in the orbit of a single electron. I get no DM's from my god, cryptic or otherwise. Yet, I am so connected to my god that I understand it to be part of me, and I know I have influence in my god, that change things in ways too expansive for me to ever understand. I know the voice of my god well, and my god speaks to me all the time, and directs my life to a great extent.
I feel like this^^^^^^^^^ has nothing to do with the title of this thread, or the opening paragraph, and I am writing the dam thing, I can only imagine how you must feel about now. :roll: ......... I will come back to it and you will understand its relevance,,,, I hope.
I stood at the head of the line at the local Barnes and Noble contemplating the extra $10 I had found in my pocket. Should I add it to the $25 I had planed to spend on a gift card, or keep it and use it in some meaningless way on fast food or other random crap? Nether I decided, I would use it in a selfish act to make myself feel good.
Sitting in my car in the B&N parking lot with two gift cards, one for $20 which I put in the center console, and another for $15 in my hand it did not take long to spot my victim. She was driving a Volvo wagon at least 20 years old, and though it was not a rat of a car it did not have the look of a car being kept in pristine condition. She had not found a close parking spot and looked a bit frustrated as she parked and made her way around to the opposite side of the car to help a 5 or 6 year old child from the passenger side of the car.
I easily made it to the first set of double doors before the lady and little girl, and holding the door open for them to enter, I caught the woman's eye and said, "excuse me, I have a gift card I have no use for, I thought you could maybe use it."
My god, was in the smile of the lady that seemed to say, you don't know how much I can use it. In the smile of the little girl who at first ducked half way behind her mother's leg and then realized it was a nice strange man. And in the smile of the cashier who I had told of my plan when buying the cards, and I glanced over to see had noticed me at the door.
My god was in all those smiles, and is made up of all the smiles of everyone everywhere. As I settled back into the car seat and reached up to adjust my rear view mirror, and caught myself grinning broadly I was aware I had just done a selfish act. I know that that $15 gift card made me feel good and that was the reason I had done it. I also felt I had shared a little bit of my god with the world and was ok with that.
In the next few weeks, Do Something Selfish, or Meet My God, and post about that experience here.
