How to keep high tippers when they want to meet up?

[Marceline]

I'm really interested in this industry, from all sides (perspectives of models, member, sites). It's been a fun but also fascinating experience. A lot more to it than I thought.

Just going to say this, it can be somewhat to very insulting when people outside the industry treat sex workers and the adult industry as a whole like lab specimens under a microscope. As if we’re some interesting anomaly of the human species to be carefully observed and studied.

That’s the vibe I get from your posts, and more than likely the reason why you haven’t been getting positive feedback. Also, because every single post you’ve made on this forum is about models meeting up with whales. It’s such a weird thing to have a hang up about, imo.

Idk, while I get how the adult industry has some sort of fascinating allure to some people that aren’t and never will be in it, I’d have so much more respect for those people if instead of just bombarding us with questions about the things that interest them they’d instead ask stuff like “Is there any way that I, as a non-industry worker, can help out during this time where sex workers/adult industry workers are facing more political backlash than ever before?”. Because let’s be real, most dudes who are “really interested” in the industry have no actual interest in our well-being as actual human beings and hearing about the shitty political side of sex work doesn’t get their gears going like hearing about potential meetups between a model and a member.

 

[HeadyRaven]

Just going to say this, it can be somewhat to very insulting when people outside the industry treat sex workers and the adult industry as a whole like lab specimens under a microscope. As if we’re some interesting anomaly of the human species to be carefully observed and studied.

That’s the vibe I get from your posts, and more than likely the reason why you haven’t been getting positive feedback. Also, because every single post you’ve made on this forum is about models meeting up with whales. It’s such a weird thing to have a hang up about, imo.

Idk, while I get how the adult industry has some sort of fascinating allure to some people that aren’t and never will be in it, I’d have so much more respect for those people if instead of just bombarding us with questions about the things that interest them they’d instead ask stuff like “Is there any way that I, as a non-industry worker, can help out during this time where sex workers/adult industry workers are facing more political backlash than ever before?”. Because let’s be real, most dudes who are “really interested” in the industry have no actual interest in our well-being as actual human beings and hearing about the shitty political side of sex work doesn’t get their gears going like hearing about potential meetups between a model and a member.

Well, fair enough. It wasn't my intention; it's more that I didn't have much experience or knowledge of it until recently. I didn't have any awareness, honestly, of a backlash against the industry. I had thought (apparently mistakenly) that cam modeling, for example, has been around a long time and is very established no one is worried about it or criticizing it at all. I guess I'm not tuned into anyplace it's discussed, but I never hear anything about recent political attacks. I can remember hearing about cam modeling 10 or 15 years ago - maybe it was still somewhat newer and discussed in media? But I rarely hear anything (outside of a site like this) nowadays.

Aren't people often interested in jobs/industries they aren't involved with? Like police/law enforcement. Just an example. I'm not personally interested (have a negative view of it lol) but a lot of people who aren't in that world are fascinated with law enforcement, detectives, crime solving...they watch lot of tv shows about it, read news stories. Same with other industries... People may be fascinated with it or glamorize it, but from outside, they don't get what it is really like. Sex industry of course is still kind of taboo so maybe that adds to the level of fascination?

I care about the well-being of a couple of models I've gotten to know. I've learned a lot about the challegnes and frustrations they deal with in the job. That has been eye opening anyway. And I've tried to be supportive, financially and otherwise.

 

[MarieElise]

Context; any new member who comes here and pokes aroubdcwould see there’s an ongoing issue with deluded and obsessed men coming here claiming to be in love with cam models. It doesn’t take much effort or analytical ability to figure that out and think; hmmmm maybe I shouldn’t encourage that or make comments that feed into that

Nothing novel about an egotistical guy coming here, making rambling long points, because his need to be right or seen a certain way overrides any other consideration .It really would have taken about 5 minutes of skim reading to figure that out. And no people don’t go t police forums and jerk off to details about their jobs unless they have deep problems. Obviously.

But hey, you’re our ally clearly and I’m just jaded rotfl

 

[Miss_Lollipop]

Well, fair enough. It wasn't my intention; it's more that I didn't have much experience or knowledge of it until recently. I didn't have any awareness, honestly, of a backlash against the industry. I had thought (apparently mistakenly) that cam modeling, for example, has been around a long time and is very established no one is worried about it or criticizing it at all. I guess I'm not tuned into anyplace it's discussed, but I never hear anything about recent political attacks. I can remember hearing about cam modeling 10 or 15 years ago - maybe it was still somewhat newer and discussed in media? But I rarely hear anything (outside of a site like this) nowadays.

Aren't people often interested in jobs/industries they aren't involved with? Like police/law enforcement. Just an example. I'm not personally interested (have a negative view of it lol) but a lot of people who aren't in that world are fascinated with law enforcement, detectives, crime solving...they watch lot of tv shows about it, read news stories. Same with other industries... People may be fascinated with it or glamorize it, but from outside, they don't get what it is really like. Sex industry of course is still kind of taboo so maybe that adds to the level of fascination?

I care about the well-being of a couple of models I've gotten to know. I've learned a lot about the challegnes and frustrations they deal with in the job. That has been eye opening anyway. And I've tried to be supportive, financially and otherwise.

If you’re that fascinated why not google?

Yes we are under attack. Not just FOSTA/SESTA but more recently the Mastercard/visa regulations and several states have banned porn without ID

A highly digestible documentary on this just hit Netflix, called the Pornhub story.

I’m fascinated by Mormon fundies. But I’d never just like show up and them questions that made them feel like they were not people. I research them..

And yes, it is the taboo nature that makes us an industry that is prone to this. And quite frankly the fact that you feel entitled just like everyone else to come here and ask ignorant questions, take our time, without doing any research let alone supporting us with informed voting is galling. Not surprising, we are used to it. But it sucks that we have to educate you instead of you just googling or reading a few blogs . Tbh you could have done some reading here too before posting.

I often have to spoon feed this stuff to my customers too but at least they pay me for my time.


I know from my research into fundies that they feel particularly persecuted by plural marriage laws and laws that favor the mothers in custody arrangements. If I can manage that, you can manage this.

 

[Vixxen81]

All of this plus we are under attack as women in general. Laws dictating our medical care are being passed left and right and supported by other very powerful women. Our last victory was approval of an OTC birth control pill that is only 91% effective versus the standard 97% and that's not the win it's presented to be. It's a very small step in the right direction. The only reason we got that win is because Republicans thought it would remove birth control from the covered by insurance mandate. The list goes on and on and on and on...

 

[Marceline]

Well, fair enough. It wasn't my intention; it's more that I didn't have much experience or knowledge of it until recently. I didn't have any awareness, honestly, of a backlash against the industry. I had thought (apparently mistakenly) that cam modeling, for example, has been around a long time and is very established no one is worried about it or criticizing it at all. I guess I'm not tuned into anyplace it's discussed, but I never hear anything about recent political attacks. I can remember hearing about cam modeling 10 or 15 years ago - maybe it was still somewhat newer and discussed in media? But I rarely hear anything (outside of a site like this) nowadays.

Execution matters more than intention. It doesn’t matter if your intentions were well meaning when the way you execute them ends up insulting or irritating others.

While FOSTA/SESTA didn’t make huge headlines and wasn’t talked about as much outside of sex worker circles, there’s been other issues that have plagued the adult industry that has been highly publicized and talked about. Mastercard/Visa cracking down on adult sites because of tube sites like Pornhub was a huge thing. There was posts on the front page of Reddit about it. Granted, it was mostly people bitching about content being wiped from the site, but anyone with a smidge of common sense or even the faintest sense of care for adult workers would have realized that payment processors becoming way more strict would have a negative impact on the industry and the people who work in it.

Multiple states have now implemented what is obviously the first steps in a porn ban, by forcing users to upload government ids to be able to access certain sites. Again, this is something that was highly talked about. I was seeing this all over Facebook and Reddit, from accounts that don’t have any association with my work.

It really does take a quick google search to find a ton of different articles on all these topics.

Aren't people often interested in jobs/industries they aren't involved with? Like police/law enforcement. Just an example. I'm not personally interested (have a negative view of it lol) but a lot of people who aren't in that world are fascinated with law enforcement, detectives, crime solving...they watch lot of tv shows about it, read news stories. Same with other industries... People may be fascinated with it or glamorize it, but from outside, they don't get what it is really like. Sex industry of course is still kind of taboo so maybe that adds to the level of fascination?

That’s the thing, they read news stories, they watch documentaries, they do research. They don’t go to people in those industries and ask them a ton of questions about something that is a sore subject to those in the industry and double down on what they believe is right, despite being told otherwise. And if they do, it’s because they have their own issues and biases that they should probably work on.

Like, I posted a reply I made in another thread explaining what FOSTA SESTA is and why neither the sites or models want talks of meetups happening. You probably didn’t read it and instead in your next post was like “Oh well, do the sites care if someone is an escort if they’re not doing it on the site?” If you were actually interested in something other than fantasizing about other members and models getting it on, I feel like you’d be like “oh wow, that’s crazy messed up. Is there anything that could be done about this screwed up law?” Especially since anyone with even the smallest amount of critical thinking skills can realize that the implications of laws like FOSTA SESTA has an outreach that will eventually affect far more than just the adult industry. When law makers want to pass draconian/authoritarian type laws, they’re not going to implement those laws on a large scale at first. They’ll make those laws first to target marginalized groups that the vast majority of the general public don’t care about as a test run of sorts. It’s just wild to me that someone can hear about laws like FOSTA SESTA that amends a law that the internet quite literally wouldn’t exist without, and not give a shit.

I personally don’t think that customers have to be invested into the political side of things. If someone just wants to enjoy what the industry and workers have to offer and then go about their business, that’s fine. Sure, it’s great when guys actually do care about the less sexy side of things and want to help out in the ways they can (informed voting, writing to their representatives, participating in protests), but I’m the sort of person who doesn’t think anyone is owed anything. However, I do think it’s really annoying when someone claims to be soooo interested in the industry as a whole, but then basically dismisses anything that doesn’t tickle their fancy. And also when they treat us like we’re specimens in a lab, subject to their examinations whenever they please.

 

[HeadyRaven]

there’s an ongoing issue with deluded and obsessed men coming here claiming to be in love with cam models.

Yes and there also seems to be an ongoing issue with some fraction of models encouraging this, intentionally or otherwise. This would include love scammers, as well as models who hover on the edge of scamming and are basically manipulating. Not to mention models who aren't scamming at all, but expressing a willingness to meet up (for money or whatever reason). This may be a small percentage but seems the issue isn't 100 percent on the client side.

 

[HeadyRaven]

when they treat us like we’re specimens in a lab, subject to their examinations whenever they please

I'm not sure that asking some questions on this forum or being interested in opinions of people in the industry is quite the same as treating you like lab specimens, but if that's how it feels, I'm sorry it comes off that way. Despite what's being said about FOSTA SESTA and other laws or tactics pursued by the morality police, seems that the porn industry is still booming. Lastly, sure I can Google and read up on these topics (and I do read things I come across about the industry) but there's no substitute to asking those who actually live it day to day. Shouldn't you be glad there are customers like me who pay a lot to sites and individual models and also have some interest in how it all works?

 

[deltaepsilon]

I'm not sure that asking some questions on this forum or being interested in opinions of people in the industry is quite the same as treating you like lab specimens, but if that's how it feels, I'm sorry it comes off that way. Despite what's being said about FOSTA SESTA and other laws or tactics pursued by the morality police, seems that the porn industry is still booming. Lastly, sure I can Google and read up on these topics (and I do read things I come across about the industry) but there's no substitute to asking those who actually live it day to day. Shouldn't you be glad there are customers like me who pay a lot to sites and individual models and also have some interest in how it all works?

out of curiosity if you use the services of a lawyer do you then join a legal forum and ask questions or seek further enlightenment on the profession for free? do you tell them I'm so happy you joined the legal profession and that it is such a big business? do you tell the lawyers, aren’t you grateful for my valuable business I bring? how would they respond to you? from my experience here most of the models here are very experienced service professionals and deserve the same deference you would have in any legal forum, or any other professiona forum.

 

[HeadyRaven]

if you use the services of a lawyer do you then join a legal forum and ask questions or seek further enlightenment on the profession for free?

Not personally, but people do post such questions to professionals, asking them about aspects of their jobs. Some would be happy to talk about the pros and cons of their work and address misconceptions. Not sure why it has to be taken as offensive. They aren't required to reply.

But also let's remember: No legal forum has a set of threads with 100 posts under the heading, "I'm in love with a lawyer. Is it real or a con job?" Neither does any other profession. Cam modeling is a very unique job and brings out a lot of novel topics.

 

[Maxi]

Just pay tokens and ‘whack off’ like the rest of us leave the rest to the professionals…

 

[MarieElise]

Yes and there also seems to be an ongoing issue with some fraction of models encouraging this, intentionally or otherwise. This would include love scammers, as well as models who hover on the edge of scamming and are basically manipulating. Not to mention models who aren't scamming at all, but expressing a willingness to meet up (for money or whatever reason). This may be a small percentage but seems the issue isn't 100 percent on the client side.

Of course but we aren’t on a cam site we’re on a forum of mostly indie models who are against that. Ffs stop deflecting. No one needs you morality policing us here when you haven’t taken any time to introduce yourself to the environment whatsoever. All you seem to want is endless attention and debate. The problem is you don’t know anything about what you’re debating about, and that’s very clear. Whatever dude. Do your thing.

Maybe you’re a libra, who fucking knows. And in that case fair enough. Just saying it’s odd. And the way I’m perceiving this is that you just want t be right about something. But now it’s kind of shifting what, which is kind of funny and entertaining at least.

I’ll be the first to admit there are lots of models around who don’t seem like the best people. However, this forum is run pretty strict and that isn’t allowed here. As far as being a con model or a love scammer. That’s looked down on here, and disapproved of. So hopefully all these thoughtful answers you got, are helping you learn more and satisfying your inquisitiveness. So you can at least be an ally to some of us.

 

[Marceline]

I'm not sure that asking some questions on this forum or being interested in opinions of people in the industry is quite the same as treating you like lab specimens, but if that's how it feels, I'm sorry it comes off that way. Despite what's being said about FOSTA SESTA and other laws or tactics pursued by the morality police, seems that the porn industry is still booming. Lastly, sure I can Google and read up on these topics (and I do read things I come across about the industry) but there's no substitute to asking those who actually live it day to day. Shouldn't you be glad there are customers like me who pay a lot to sites and individual models and also have some interest in how it all works?

There’s asking questions and then there’s badgering. You originally asked a question about what the motivations of high spenders are, answered your own question by saying that you believe the motivation behind every whale is to meet up and sleep with a model, and then doubled down on that stance when you were told by actual models that that isn’t generally the case. It shows that you don't give a damn about the actual truth, you just wanted confirmation bias.

Again, you seem to have a very weird hang up around that. Like, are you insecure that no model wants to meet up with you or something? Or are you insecure that other guys might be meeting up with hot models while you're not? It's strange, to say the least. At least to me, a person who honestly doesn't give a damn about what consenting adults do in their private lives, as long as it's not putting my livelihood in jeopardy.

The way you come off does sound like you're examining us. And yet again, it doesn't matter if that wasn't your intention. Remember, execution matters more than intention.

And about the industry booming, yeah, there's always going to be people willing to pay to have no strings attached orgasms. Not even orgasms, there's always going to be people willing to pay for entertainment or even just give money to women they find attractive. That doesn't mean that our jobs haven't become significantly harder due to recent legislation. In fact, with all the changes that have occurred in the last few years, it will probably be even harder in the future to make a living doing adult work. And that's just talking about camming/content creating as a US based model. Full service sex workers and internet based sex workers in other countries already have it incredibly tough. But that's a whole other conversation I'm sure you don't actually care about either.

And lastly, "Shouldn't you be glad there are customers like me who pay a lot to sites and individual models and also have some interest in how it all works?". No. I honestly do not give a single solitary fuck how much money you spend or if you're interested in the industry when you're not able to or willing to do a thing to help it out in this current political climate.

 

[Vixxen81]

That "boom" you hear is literally people being pushed into the adult world because of Covid. How does everyone forget that? (Not directed at Marceline or MarieElise or any other model on here.)

 

[Marceline]

That "boom" you hear is literally people being pushed into the adult world because of Covid. How does everyone forget that? (Not directed at Marceline or MarieElise or any other model on here.)

I truly believe that the huge uptick in people casually joining the adult industry and OnlyFans’ catapult to mainstream popularity is one of the big reasons why we’re seeing the political backlash currently happening.

No shame to anyone who is trying to make ends meet by doing what they can after a worldwide pandemic and lockdowns, and all the shame on shitty, hypocritical politicians who are pushing their moral, Christian narrative while consuming the same adult entertainment in private they’re condemning in public.




PS. I’ve been day drinking while packing. Sorry.

 

[Vixxen81]

I truly believe that the huge uptick in people casually joining the adult industry and OnlyFans’ catapult to mainstream popularity is one of the big reasons why we’re seeing the political backlash currently happening.

No shame to anyone who is trying to make ends meet by doing what they can after a worldwide pandemic and lockdowns, and all the shame on shitty, hypocritical politicians who are pushing their moral, Christian narrative while consuming the same adult entertainment in private they’re condemning in public.




PS. I’ve been day drinking while packing. Sorry.

I 1000% agree with you!!!! And I'm about to start drinking so maybe I should lock my phone.

 

[Marceline]

I 1000% agree with you!!!! And I'm about to start drinking so maybe I should lock my phone.

Cheers! Take a shot of Jameson (or any whiskey) for me!

 

[MarieElise]

Cheers 3! i just made a cocktail too. long week!
I believe the same, but I also don't blame the new models. i blame hypocritical politicians and clergy people or whatever the Fuck (many of those) hypocritical Jesus knob suckers are called.

 

[Vixxen81]

I love how all three of us said the same thing in very different ways. This place rocks.

 

[HeadyRaven]

saying that you believe the motivation behind every whale is to meet up and sleep with a model, and then doubled down on that stance when you were told by actual models that that isn’t generally the case.

Completely untrue and if you or anyone else is actually interested, feel free to revisit it. I said that I thought some of them are there to meet up, either for escort services, sugaring, or even to find a "real" relationship. And I know that's true. I never said all of them. What I did say, though, is there seems to be a big ego motivation for some of those dudes. (I like the example of the guy who posts screen shots in his profile of every instance where he was King in a room, showing the amount he tipped. Now that seems more like insecurity than anything I've been saying or asking).

Like, are you insecure that no model wants to meet up with you or something? Or are you insecure that other guys might be meeting up with hot models while you're not?

No to both, especially because as I said elsewhere, I already encountered such invitations (which I took as travel escorting), and I also am aware that there are definitely others using the sites for that purpose. I have no idea what percentage of users it is; maybe it's small. I don't have an issue with it. It's strange that this is such a touchy subject; why not just fight for legalized prostitution and then this all becomes moot? Seems the sites are having to cover their asses with all these rules, but they are a lot more likely to enforce them against the models, not the members.

The way you come off does sound like you're examining us.

It's an interesting profession, what can I say? Some of us are just inquisitive.

you're not able to or willing to do a thing to help it out in this current political climate.

What would help?