I'm coming out...

[BabyGirlRed]

...of the 'strange' closet. I never thought I'd do this, but now here I am. Coming out on this forum.

After my most recent post with the photo of the horse ladies, I have realized that I am just a weird mawfugga. Well, I have kind of known for a while, but I would lie to myself. I would just say to myself and others that noticed my weird internet searches that I'm curious. Which in a way is true. I am a very curious girl and always will be. But I have a lot of strange turn-ons.

The thing is, I've barely come out of the simple kinky closet in real life. I like it rough. I love pain.

I want to tell Mr. Man about who I really am, but I'm scared. Seeing as this is a very open and friendly forum, I thought that this would be the best place to come out first. And maybe some of you could give me advice on how to bring this up to Mr. Man.

I'm not sure if I want to bring up my weirder fetishes just yet, but how do I tell him that I want to be tortured and teased?

I've been acting like the sweet innocent girl for far too long. I really like this guy, and I want him to know everything about me.

I've hinted about spanking, choking, 'raping', and all that jazz, but I'm not sure if he understands my intense craving for it.

Another thing is I want to do this stuff on cam as well, but I've been treating my regulars like my boyfriend-- Hiding the fact that I'm a kinky fucker.

Any advice? I'm tired of hiding.

 

[Shaun__]

I think you should be honest, and open with your feelings. I do not see how you can ever be happy in a lie. Men seem willing to put up with a lot of kinky stuff if the end result is them getting to have sex.

 

[camstory]

I think Shaun has got this exactly right, down to the fact that we will tolerate quite a bit of kinky stuff to keep you ladies happy.

 

[LindseyDoll]

Try showing him some porn of the stuff that really turns you on. Explain why you find it so arousing, and ask him to try a bit.

Or just tell him you've been naughty and that he should throw you over his knee and give you a spanking, see if he takes you up on the offer

 

[Jupiter551]

Try showing him some porn of the stuff that really turns you on. Explain why you find it so arousing, and ask him to try a bit.

I take it you didn't see the bit about her liking horse-on-girl porn

 

[Bocefish]

Despite the fact some women think men are mind readers... I'd suggest being honest, open and downright blunt if need be. Most guys in a relationship appreciate hearing what their partner likes and are more than willing to please. If not, it's probably better finding out sooner than later.

:twocents-02cents:

 

[mynameisbob84]

Just be honest, yo. That doesn't mean you need to tell him everything at once; that might scare him off. Tell him a few of the things you're into, see how he takes to them. Then you can decide if/when to introduce the "weirder" stuff.
There's a chance he won't be prepared to do some of the things you like (I don't think I could ever do rape play. Even if I knew the other person was enjoying/craving it, if it felt for even a second like I was actually raping a girl, I'd lose my hard-on in a heartbeat. I suspect I'm not the only guy who would struggle with something like that) but then you can at least see what he is willing to do and ultimately, whether it's enough for you to be able to be satisfied in the relationship :twocents-02cents:

 

[southsamurai]

...of the 'strange' closet. I never thought I'd do this, but now here I am. Coming out on this forum.

After my most recent post with the photo of the horse ladies, I have realized that I am just a weird mawfugga. Well, I have kind of known for a while, but I would lie to myself. I would just say to myself and others that noticed my weird internet searches that I'm curious. Which in a way is true. I am a very curious girl and always will be. But I have a lot of strange turn-ons.

The thing is, I've barely come out of the simple kinky closet in real life. I like it rough. I love pain.

I want to tell Mr. Man about who I really am, but I'm scared. Seeing as this is a very open and friendly forum, I thought that this would be the best place to come out first. And maybe some of you could give me advice on how to bring this up to Mr. Man.

I'm not sure if I want to bring up my weirder fetishes just yet, but how do I tell him that I want to be tortured and teased?

I've been acting like the sweet innocent girl for far too long. I really like this guy, and I want him to know everything about me.

I've hinted about spanking, choking, 'raping', and all that jazz, but I'm not sure if he understands my intense craving for it.

Another thing is I want to do this stuff on cam as well, but I've been treating my regulars like my boyfriend-- Hiding the fact that I'm a kinky fucker.

Any advice? I'm tired of hiding.

well first off, welcome to the weird wide wonderful world of fetishes lol..... it seems that several people have given you the best advice already... go slow, introduce your partner to the ideas and be yourself. a nice honest and open conversation will get things rolling quite well. emphasize that you want him to know and have access to all of you, it always helps a guy's ego out lol.

that being said ill try to give you two sides to the world of fetish play. the first is the unexpecting partner's side. it can be a bit of a shock to find out that your loved one has been hiding a different side of their personality,sexuality or needs from you. often any negative reaction comes from the secrecy rather than the fetishes or new ideas themselves. if your partner is relatively new to such activities makes sure you go very very slow. stepping from regular vanilla sex, no matter how good and wild, to a full on rape fantasy scene with breath play (aka choking) is hard to do. another aspect is that with rape fantasy specifically some men may not be able to do it, much less enjoy it. we have been trained to view forced sex as a very evil thing, not just naughty, or bad, but purely wrong. it takes a lot of adjustment to overcome this mind set. i still dont enjoy rape scenes after decades of rather broad minded sexual play and research. just not my gig. i think you may be surprised at how eagerly your partner will be in regards to your self exploration if it includes him.


now, once any shock or hurt feelings from the previous secrecy are over with you can start to have fun. most men enjoy their partner being fulfilled and will join in even if it isnt their fetish of choice. i would start with the easier stuff first. light spankings, perhaps some bondage of some kind to ease into things. then move on to more intense activity. make sure that both partners are fully aware of what is going to happen at first, and always use a safe word until the submissive/dominant relationship is well established. there are a vast and varied assortment of toys, guides, magazines and websites that the two of you can use to explore your boundaries, bodies and desires. or heck, i've got nothing else going on so you can always ask me lol.(seriously, drop an email, or a post in the forums here or whatever, always glad to be helpful)


some of the fetishes you've mentioned are at the extreme of what most people enjoy, but do not worry, out of the billions of americans there's still at least a million who enjoy the same things. which leads me into the next segment of your post. camming.

i do believe that you will find an increased room count if you start doing even light s&m play on cam. in theory that should also lead to increased tips. i for one will tune in just to applaud. in general you will want to stick to the lighter side of things. spankings, leather, maybe the whole hot wax show. most people find a line when blood is drawn or real burns occur. exploring your own needs in this fashion will allow you to discover what turns you on for real, not just in fantasy, in a mostly supportive environment. we MFC guys tend to be complimentary and vocal about it when a nearly nude woman is doing kinky things. plus it allows you complete control over what does and does not happen.

lastly, let me say again that there are many many people in the world who enjoy playing with the pain/pleasure lines, myself included. there is no need for shame or doubt that what you feel and need is a negative thing. congratulations on "coming out" as kinky

 

[BabyGirlRed]

Thanks a big bunch, folks! I knew there would be a lot of great accepting people here to help me out with this.

Now, when I've mentioned these things to him in a somewhat joking kind of matter just to test his reactions, often times he will say things like "I'm not the kind of guy that would ever hit/hurt a woman."
But recently I've noticed that he's getting into are 'play fights' and he's able to give me some good spanks here and there.
I think that this may be him slowly easing into it. I'm sure he knows that I'm kinky, but we just haven't had a proper conversation about it.

I often send him links to porn that I enjoy, but it's all simple porn. I'm thinking that since he's used to me sending him porn links, I'll slowly transition into sending him some of the kinkier things i enjoy.

He seems to be an overall understanding fella, so I'm sure that telling him shouldn't be all that bad. The worst that could happen is him telling me he doesn't want to do that stuff, which really isn't all that bad.

I would at least like him to be accepting of me bringing the kink into my cam shows if I can't bring it into the bedroom.

 

[BabyGirlRed]

Try showing him some porn of the stuff that really turns you on. Explain why you find it so arousing, and ask him to try a bit.

I take it you didn't see the bit about her liking horse-on-girl porn

I think that part will be kept from him until he's on his death bed. Haha. I don't want to completely scare him off.

 

[LadyLuna]

I agree with SouthSamari.

All I really have to add, is to see if you can get him to show you the kinds of things he'd like. See if he has any fantasies he's been hiding away.

Also, if he has a bad reaction to the idea itself, let him know that it's okay if he can't do it, you can do it on camera. Make absolutely sure he knows that you are not going to leave him for any of the guys on camera just because they like some things that he doesn't (unless you think you might). That's going to be the biggest problem, right there. "You do it for them, but not for me!" and "I feel like if I don't give it to you, you'll leave me for one of them." (my partner and I have had those conversations)

Who knows, maybe he'll even be into it after he sees you actually enjoying it. Sometimes, their problem with it is making sure that you really are okay with it. Then again, he might not. (As in, you can hope for it, but don't be counting on it )

 

[southsamurai]

another note, tho snot directly related. anyone interested in the psychology behind fantasy, or in sharing their fantasies with their partners should hit the library or bookstore and inves t in some works by nancy friday. my secret garden, men in love etc... those are her first each of female and male fanties collected, explored and enlightened.

for the S&M folk... i suggest finding Secretary with james woods and maggie gyllenhaal. not only a wonderful film in its own right, but a loving look at what good can come from exploring our pain and pleasure

 

[Anonymous]

BabyGirl, as soon as I read the thread title, I started singing the Diana Ross song in my head. :lol:

Im coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show



And ditto to what Bob and the others said..."Just be honest, yo." :-D

 

[BabyGirlRed]

BabyGirl, as soon as I read the thread title, I started singing the Diana Ross song in my head. :lol:

Im coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show



And ditto to what Bob and the others said..."Just be honest, yo." :-D

Thank you for giving me something wonderful to dance to, Fox! This made my day. And thank you, everyone, for keeping this a positive, non-scary experience with me. You have all been so helpful in many parts of my life, and I just want to thank everyone here for passing on your knowledge and looking out for each other. It's like a big, silly, happy family, and I'm glad to be a part of it.
Thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen of this great forum! *hugs and kisses galore*