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Loneliness being camgirl

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Allforshow93

Cam Model
Aug 12, 2018
16
6
46
I’ve been a camgirl in CB since 2017 and I am very happy of my earning, although having this kind of job is really difficult in terms of having friends that I can share my day, my problems in viewers and everything as a cam model... Please help me how you manage telling people about your job without telling your real job... To be honest I am very guilty telling my family about what my real job is.. I am guilty telling a lie about my real job. I am just scared to be judge. I am looking forward on having a friend here.
 
Hello. I don't know if you will find this helpful but I certainly understand your situation. I have a particular model that I have become close friends with (virtually) and we spend a lot of time talking, emailing and snapchatting. She is in a similar situation where no one knows what she does and she has no one to talk to. When I met her she was about a year into it and not getting very far. I could see she was a remarkable woman and starting to chat with her. Soon she would Private Message me as soon as I showed up. Then we did some privates and after the sex part, we would just chat. Now she was pretty naive at the time and thank goodness she selected me instead of some malevolent dude. She revealed way too much to me from a security perspective. But all is well. I would rather die than harm her because I am a true gentleman. My suggestion would be to look for a decent sort of guy to chat with. If he seems nice enough, exchange emails with him. (get his first and send him an email) If you choose well, you will have someone who doesn't know the real you but only knows you as a cam model. This is the exact opposite of everyone you know. I am a much older gentleman and have no designs on any model for anything nefarious. I wish you the best of luck!
 
I’ve been a camgirl in CB since 2017 and I am very happy of my earning, although having this kind of job is really difficult in terms of having friends that I can share my day, my problems in viewers and everything as a cam model... Please help me how you manage telling people about your job without telling your real job... To be honest I am very guilty telling my family about what my real job is.. I am guilty telling a lie about my real job. I am just scared to be judge. I am looking forward on having a friend here.

This job can be very isolating. Having to work from home as a freelancer, a job that takes up SO much time off camera, a job with strange hours, and a job that many people don't understand or may judge... It can be hard to connect with others who aren't in the business, especially if you have to lie to them to protect your relationships. You constantly feel like you are living a double life, and there's always a wall in between you when you have to keep such a big part of your life and your self shrouded in secrecy. It's hard, especially if you have no other choice. If you aren't fortunate enough to be able to be completely open & honest (and many models aren't!), it can be incredibly lonely.

Keep posting here, lovely. And as soon as you are able to, get verified. Then you'll have access to the Model's Only section, where you can be a bit more open and connect with your peers. This board is filled with tons of models, many of whom have been in your exact situation. Models who can understand both the struggles and the highs that this job can bring. If you need someone to give you a hug or someone to cheer on your successes, we're here!

 
Try to find other girls or people in the business that you can connect with. Or if you know people you can trust fully then maybe share your secret with them.

I was out of school and out of work for a while, what some people call a NEET, but then I started doing some affiliate stuff for an adult film company. It was actually a friend that I had made online who suggested it, and we became very close. Was somebody I could talk business with, but I also shared a lot of personal things with her. We had a bit of a falling out, but I always appreciated the level of trust i could have with her. I'm not doing the affiliate stuff anymore, but I've told a few friends and theyve been understanding and haven't blabbed about it. One of them actually used to do photography and website design work for a foot fetish site.

I think if you find people like that then it will also help you to feel better in general. Having complete confidence and trust in friends is very reassuring.

And yeah, keep posting here. Message boards have also been a bit of an escape for me, and it's fun connecting with other people about whatever random interests you may have.
 
Try to find other girls or people in the business that you can connect with. Or if you know people you can trust fully then maybe share your secret with them.
I would be a bit reserved on connecting with other girls in the industry... unfortunately not all are nice.... i think OP is talking more about connecting with real life people... indeed its a rough time for us not being able to share our "secret" lives.... i am lucky enough to have my husband that knows what im doing for a living, understands it completly and i can share with him stuff.
 
I would be a bit reserved on connecting with other girls in the industry... unfortunately not all are nice.... i think OP is talking more about connecting with real life people... indeed its a rough time for us not being able to share our "secret" lives.... i am lucky enough to have my husband that knows what im doing for a living, understands it completly and i can share with him stuff.

The girls on here are mostly nice. In fact this is the only place in the entire sex industry where you do find the nice girls.
On twitter or perhaps on the actual sites not so much and competition is fierce but ACF there’s allot of support and models who will cheer you on and help you whenever they can.

FYI @AmberCutie huge thanks for actually building a nice community of girls
 
The girls on here are mostly nice. In fact this is the only place in the entire sex industry where you do find the nice girls.
On twitter or perhaps on the actual sites not so much and competition is fierce but ACF there’s allot of support and models who will cheer you on and help you whenever they can.

FYI @AmberCutie huge thanks for actually building a nice community of girls
Yeah i didnt ment here:) i was talking more about making a connection in real life...
 
The girls on here are mostly nice. In fact this is the only place in the entire sex industry where you do find the nice girls.
On twitter or perhaps on the actual sites not so much and competition is fierce but ACF there’s allot of support and models who will cheer you on and help you whenever they can.

FYI @AmberCutie huge thanks for actually building a nice community of girls

Not sure if it's the only place, but I do 100% agree that the ladies on here are for the most part, extremely nice individuals. I've been on this forum for geez, five years now? This place is a truly beautiful community.

@Allforshow93 Definitely try to get verified here and stick around. :) Even if what you're looking for is mostly IRL interaction to counteract the loneliness, there are lots of great models on here who are really friendly and it can help with at least having someone to talk to, even if only in a virtual setting. Plus plenty of models have gone on to make IRL friends with one another once they get to know each other better. :)
 
I’ve been a camgirl in CB since 2017 and I am very happy of my earning, although having this kind of job is really difficult in terms of having friends that I can share my day, my problems in viewers and everything as a cam model... Please help me how you manage telling people about your job without telling your real job... To be honest I am very guilty telling my family about what my real job is.. I am guilty telling a lie about my real job. I am just scared to be judge. I am looking forward on having a friend here.

Hey beautiful! I totally feel you. I understand your guilt about not telling your family. I am also not telling mine. Im ready to deal with the consequences if they find out, but they won't find out from me. It would hurt them cause they wouldn't know why I do it, they would not understand. For them sex workers are not in their right minds haha.. Theyre old and have their own beliefs. I have been seeing a psychologist for a while dealing with anxiety and we have talked about this. She kind of compared it to people working for secret services. They pretty much need to invent a cover story cause they cant say what they really do. If you had a different job that wasn't sex work and you couldn't talk about would you still feel guilty? Or is there still a little bit of yourself subconsciously thinking sex work is wrong? In my case I will be 100% honest and admit that I still am wired to believe sex work is not right. My conscious mind knows its not wrong, im not hurting anyone! Its much deeper than our conscious mind. I love it, I feel good, I love my life, my freedom, but we are working through years and years of conditioning and wiring to make us believe its wrong! Dont be too hard on yourself for not telling. Why would they NEED to know? Youre an adult. Youre not sharing your life with them as you would with a partner. Youre welcome to message me if you wanna keep in touch! Anyone is ::)
 
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Hubby has been wonderful and we do most of the cam talk. However, we both found we enjoy the swinging life- going to clubs etc. we don’t actually swing as in swap partners, we just like being in the company of others who are more open minded. They don’t judge as much since their lifestyle is deviant as well. We’ve been making friends and another girl is now thinking about camming too so that could be interesting. Find your tribe!
 
I am actually very honest with the majority of people in my life and most people in my life know what I do and are ok with it...its not the kind of job you should do if your scared of getting judged because your putting yourself out there to the world friends and family may eventually find out anyway... embrace what you do.. I got sick of trying to explain my cover job to people and everyone wouldnt stop asking questions so I just decided to tell them and these days its quite common and more expected. If they dont except it then you dont need those ppl in your life. I actually struggle with the loneliness of working from home and living alone and yes we are social in our jobs but not face to face contact like I had with retail
 
You're better off telling someone you can talk to face-to-face who is not in your family before you tell them, if you ever do. Ideally it would be a trusted girlfriend who's open-minded about sex, if you have someone like that in your life. If that doesn't work for, maybe go see some kind of therapist or counselor a few times. It's important to hear yourself tell someone and relieve yourself of this burden you have been carrying around, but there's no point in risking your relationship with people you are close to.

I'm sure you're a little relieved just telling us about your feelings, but it's not a topic to have a detailed discussion about here on the public side. Get yourself verified and then you will be able to get into it more in Models Only. If you're going to find a friend here, it will probably be easier in a more private space. Good luck bb.

 
Hello. I don't know if you will find this helpful but I certainly understand your situation. I have a particular model that I have become close friends with (virtually) and we spend a lot of time talking, emailing and snapchatting. She is in a similar situation where no one knows what she does and she has no one to talk to. When I met her she was about a year into it and not getting very far. I could see she was a remarkable woman and starting to chat with her. Soon she would Private Message me as soon as I showed up. Then we did some privates and after the sex part, we would just chat. Now she was pretty naive at the time and thank goodness she selected me instead of some malevolent dude. She revealed way too much to me from a security perspective. But all is well. I would rather die than harm her because I am a true gentleman. My suggestion would be to look for a decent sort of guy to chat with. If he seems nice enough, exchange emails with him. (get his first and send him an email) If you choose well, you will have someone who doesn't know the real you but only knows you as a cam model. This is the exact opposite of everyone you know. I am a much older gentleman and have no designs on any model for anything nefarious. I wish you the best of luck!

I would actually strongly advise against making friends with any of your male audience. I've made the mistake multiple times, never turns out well. In some cases like the one above maybe you'll get lucky and they won't use any info against you, but 99% of the time something will go wrong. Plus, just talking to another camgirl is better anyways because she will understand and relate to everything and be able to give good advice from experience. I'm going through the same thing right now. Since I'm always working from home I never really go out or meet anyone. I have my boyfriend and that's kind of ok but I really wish I had other friends who webcammed. I just joined this forum so maybe it can fill a bit of a void for me lol
 
It is very frustrating right? Especially when all of your friends share work-related stories and you always have to be careful of what you say. Fortunately my boyfriend knows everything and I can talk about it with him, but sometimes I feel he's not the most objective person I can talk to, so I come here and I share my feelings and experiences. I know I won't be juged here and I will always be very well advised.

Like AvaCharlotte says, I wouldn't make friends with clients either, you never know who's on the other side of the screen. You can never be too careful! I hope our messages will help you feel less lonely 💋 💋 💋
 
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Don't make friends with clients. It is very tempting, especially since they are ALWAYS around. But just don't. They end up taking up ALL of your time and energy and eventually whatever tipping they are doing stops. They become too attached and jealous and it's just too much too fast.

I encourage you to at the very least keep posting here and get verified so that you can join us in the Models Only section. You will find so much more helpful advice that we tend to keep to ourselves. And who knows? Maybe there is another cam girl near you that you might be able to connect with and befriend? There is always a chance.
 
I'm only a member, not a model. But, I would highly recommend what many of the models here suggest: Become verified so you can post in the model only section of the forum. It would allow you to post some more things you wouldn't want to post out in the GenPop of the forum/internet. But, still be a little cautious of what you do post.

As to making friends with, and discussing such things with members who you become close with. Again, I'd be very cautious about it. I have a few model friends that had become very close with. But, again, be very selective with who you may share some information with.

Hopefully you can find someone close to where you live, and whom you can determine is trustworthy, to where you can be open about what you do and discuss things with. Ideally, another cam model, or someone who's involved with the adult industry who has a better understanding than others. If not, anyone who is non-judgemental about your work, lifestyle, etc. may be of benefit as well. Most of the models I have come to know in some fashion have stated that it's very difficult to have friends/family/relationships offline due to negativity.

I wish you all the best. :)
 
I've found Twitter to be a great support of like minded community. I've made so many great friends on there with similiar jobs to that I can reach out to.
 
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Hey beautiful! I totally feel you. I understand your guilt about not telling your family. I am also not telling mine. I'm ready to deal with the consequences if they find out, but they won't find out from me. It would hurt them cause they wouldn't know why I do it, they would not understand. For them sex workers are not in their right minds haha.. Theyre old and have their own beliefs. I have been seeing a psychologist for a while dealing with anxiety and we have talked about this. She kind of compared it to people working for secret services. They pretty much need to invent a cover story cause they cant say what they really do. If you had a different job that wasn't sex work and you couldn't talk about would you still feel guilty? Or is there still a little bit of yourself subconsciously thinking sex work is wrong? In my case I will be 100% honest and admit that I still am wired to believe sex work is not right. My conscious mind knows its not wrong, I'm not hurting anyone! Its much deeper than our conscious mind. I love it, I feel good, I love my life, my freedom, but we are working through years and years of conditioning and wiring to make us believe its wrong! Dont be too hard on yourself for not telling. Why would they NEED to know? Youre an adult. Youre not sharing your life with them as you would with a partner...

Years of conditioning, exactly! All humans struggle with shame (check Brene Brown's ted talks, she has also published a lot of great books. "The gifts of imperfection" has helped me a lot). I have honestly found this to be the hardest part about doing this. I have always been an open book, very honest, and outgoing type of person that easily makes friends. But now I have needed to shift my attitudes around my expectations from friends and any new person that I meet.

I feel like my main group of friends from uni and I are simply growing in different directions, and although they know what I've been up to, I accept that I will likely not want to be as open with them about my life as I have been in the past. If I sometimes experience shame about what I do- and I'm the one with the courage to even do it, no doubt a part of them will be judging me. That being said, I really only know how to be myself- and I dislike being surrounded by people whom are unable or willing to make the space necessary for me to freely express myself. I also understand that if I were to be totally out about it, most people would either lose inerest or be offended by me. The good news is that people who respond this way were likely not going to make valuable friends anyways. What's a friend really if you can't even be real? So now when I meet new people who seem like they have the potential to be an actual friend, I just tell them and see how it goes. I don't know these people and will probably never see them again unless we mutually chose to make a plan to meet up, so there's nothing to loose. Living in a large north american city I have the privilege of doing that. And if I didn't live in a place where people are more open-minded, I would seriously consider it! Completely living a double life is very hard psychologically.

I have connected with some people online and one in real life that make me feel supported recently. My partner is also a good source of support as he really understands me is able to hold that space, same with a good friend of mine. I have developed a much deeper appreciation for these friendships and realized that maybe I don't need to have so many friends, rather invest more these relationships and understand it will take time to find my tribe. Sex work really pushes us to get clear on our boundaries not only with viewers but due to the stigma and shame- people in your life as well.

Plus, people in general attach wayyy too much of their sense of identity to their job. Sex worker or not your job does not define you, and no one needs a career to define them or validate their worthiness as a person. You are you no matter how you choose to show up in the world, and that is enough. Our real jobs are to consciously heal, understand, and love ourselves. If everyone made decisions about their life and related to others with this understanding, the world would be profoundly better. But I digress..

We are all actors and life is a stage. We need to understand who we really are to gain clarity on what character we want to be, and find the courage to be it. As your natural self and as a model. If we cultivate this understanding and courage, we will begin to attract the relationships we desire. It requires patience and the willingness to look within. But the only way out is through.

If anyone is interested in talking about this more, feel free to message me! :)
 
It is very frustrating right? Especially when all of your friends share work-related stories and you always have to be careful of what you say. Fortunately my boyfriend knows everything and I can talk about it with him, but sometimes I feel he's not the most objective person I can talk to, so I come here and I share my feelings and experiences. I know I won't be juged here and I will always be very well advised.

Like AvaCharlotte says, I wouldn't make friends with clients either, you never know who's on the other side of the screen. You can never be too careful! I hope our messages will help you feel less lonely 💋 💋 💋

Yeahhh it is really frustrating though.. Thanks for the advice I really appreciate it:)
Right I don't make friends with my clients It is too dangerous. I mean we just talk to them in our show and we don't really know who they are.
 
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