No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give myself

[Kunra9]

Saw a video of a comedian saying this the other day.

"There is not one woman on the planet that can give me a handjob that feels better than when I jerk off... I challenge you all to try though! I'll even let you cheat and use your mouths, vaginas, and assholes!"

 

[curvyredhead]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

i used to think this about my pussy being rubbed..

I was wrong.

 

[Anonymous]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

I often go limp when my fuck buddy strokes me. Its frustrating. I think its because I masturbate too much.

 

[Just_mark__]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

Some women can do it, but they are few and far between, most seem to be landing a helicopter in a storm

But I've had considerable practice on my dick, no ones ever gonna be better than me for getting me off. That AND I can feel what I'm doing to me and make those subtle adjustments

 

[SoTxBob]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

lmao.. the mans quite inventive in his quest to get laid.... :lol:

 

[Nordling]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

Ha! I think some guys are doing it all wrong. Method isn't everything. A bad handjob, unless it's painful, is always better than a wank.

 

[Zoomer]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

Eh? It's a joke - or does every joke cause a debate?
If there isn't a joke thread, there should be one

 

[Nordling]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

:lol: Understood. But if a joke uses a false premise, when that falsity is NOT the punch part of the joke, it deserves a hand jo....er, I mean to be debated. lol

 

[HarmlessSquirrel]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

Ha! I think some guys are doing it all wrong. Method isn't everything. A bad handjob, unless it's painful, is always better than a wank.

Well, yes and no. I think it's true that a guy knows what physically feels good to him better than someone else does. On the other hand (no pun intended), having a nice lady interested in that part of your anatomy is certainly a good thing.

 

[Kunra9]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

For me personally, the only time I find a handjob acceptable, is if it lasts about 30 seconds as a lead in to a blowjob and/or sex.

But if a girl just straight up offers me a hand jibber, I'm not exactly going to be super stoked about it. Not saying I would refuse it, but I would definitely be trying to escalate lol

 

[LadyLuna]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

I will say, that if I'm in contact with a dick which is attached to someone I like, my mouth is never far behind the hand... in fact, I don't really give hand jobs. More like mouth-jobs with a bit of hand (can't call them blow-jobs since I don't do much blowing or sucking... but lots of kissing, head-bobbing, and stroking with my tongue... mmm)

 

[Kunra9]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

I will say, that if I'm in contact with a dick which is attached to someone I like, my mouth is never far behind the hand... in fact, I don't really give hand jobs. More like mouth-jobs with a bit of hand (can't call them blow-jobs since I don't do much blowing or sucking... but lots of kissing, head-bobbing, and stroking with my tongue... mmm)

... go on....

 

[camstory]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

Interesting, I personally believe that there is 95% of sexual pleasure where most of us live most of the time. It is the domain of great toys often working better for woman than a partner, and where self manipulation is always better than that provided by another.

I also know there is another realm of sexual pleasure where someone has tuned in to your biology so well that it is as if you yourself controlled their experience and visaversa. It is a zone, a oneness, and the only thing I know I would call Zen. In this state the blending of sexuality can exceed that of the individual.

 

[Kunra9]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

Interesting, I personally believe that there is 95% of sexual pleasure where most of us live most of the time. It is the domain of great toys often working better for woman than a partner, and where self manipulation is always better than that provided by another.

I also know there is another realm of sexual pleasure where someone has tuned in to your biology so well that it is as if you yourself controlled their experience and visaversa. It is a zone, a oneness, and the only thing I know I would call Zen. In this state the blending of sexuality can exceed that of the individual.

I like to put my penis in ladies' buttholes

 

[Mirra]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

I like to put my penis in ladies' buttholes

Ben Affleck? Is that you?

 

[Just_mark__]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

I will say, that if I'm in contact with a dick which is attached to someone I like, my mouth is never far behind the hand... in fact, I don't really give hand jobs. More like mouth-jobs with a bit of hand (can't call them blow-jobs since I don't do much blowing or sucking... but lots of kissing, head-bobbing, and stroking with my tongue... mmm)

... go on....

*fap fap fap*

 

[Keithy]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

:lol: Understood. But if a joke uses a false premise, when that falsity is NOT the punch part of the joke, it deserves a hand jo....er, I mean to be debated. lol

But the false premise IS the basis for the joke. Because it's a statement to invite women to say "well that's wrong" to which he provides the answer, which is that they can prove him wrong. Without that false premise, the rest of it is just a creeper asking for sex.

 

[Nordling]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

:lol: Understood. But if a joke uses a false premise, when that falsity is NOT the punch part of the joke, it deserves a hand jo....er, I mean to be debated. lol

But the false premise IS the basis for the joke. Because it's a statement to invite women to say "well that's wrong" to which he provides the answer, which is that they can prove him wrong. Without that false premise, the rest of it is just a creeper asking for sex.

Okay, you've convinced me. lol

 

[LingWoosBunny]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

i used to think this about my pussy being rubbed..

I was wrong.

Lucky you :-D

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

I'm pretty good at giving handjobs, well I guess, guys always cum pretty dam quickly when I give them. But if I give a handjob it's basically because I'm too tired/lazy to give head, so I'm doing it to make them cum. If I give head I usually try and take it slower as I don't want them cumming too quickly as I enjoy giving it. Every guy is different and are sensitive in different parts, just like women. It's the same if you give head. Like some men really aren't fussed about deepthroat, because they're sensitive in different parts, whilst other men are obsessed with it. Some men wank from the top, some from the middle, some from the bottom. It's not that one person is doing it wrong, it's that they're all feeling different things in different areas. If you just try doing the same technique with everyone and don't pay any attention to their reaction then yeah you'll probably end up hurting them or not being that good.

I've personally never found a man who can make me orgasm like I can make myself orgasm, not even if they go down on me. But that's because say when I'm actually going to orgasm I'll put more pressure, whilst most men will just continue the same rhythm, it's also because I find it easier to orgasm whilst on my own, this applies to camming too, I will never have an intense orgasm on cam as I do while I'm alone. Only one guy has ever made me orgasm by using his fingers, he pretty much had the fingering thing down to a T! I've never come across anyone else who's understood the motion of it, don't know if any other girls would agree, but middle finger on the clit, keep it straight, do not bend/curl it and do little circular motions, whilst applying pressure.

Personally I don't really compare what I do on my own as with sex though. What's the point?

I have to say though, feeling put out if a girl "just" gives you a handjob? Really? The amount of guys I've got with who want a girl to give them a blowjob/make them cum from it, but will only mildly play with the girl in return, no sign of going down on her.....

You should feel lucky that she's playing with you at all! Have you ever thought that maybe a woman when she's starting to feel intimate with a guy will enjoy touching him, but is not ready to suck/fuck his cock? Maybe your cock smells bad or looks too small to pleasure her. If a guy fingered me a little bit and then stopped, I wouldn't have some kind of hissy fit about it, I wouldn't even think of it! But then again, if a man doesn't cum during sex/say the woman wants to stop before he can, the man will be really annoyed about it, whilst men always stop before I've cum. TOTAL double standards. Feel bloody lucky that penis's pretty much come with a manual and are a lot more sensitive than we are, feel lucky that you'll probably cum every time you have sex/are played with by a girl. Quit whining and enjoy what you're given. I will wager that the majority of men will get a LOT more enjoyment out of a handjob than the majority of women will get out of being fingered by a bloke.

 

[LadyLuna]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

I will say, that if I'm in contact with a dick which is attached to someone I like, my mouth is never far behind the hand... in fact, I don't really give hand jobs. More like mouth-jobs with a bit of hand (can't call them blow-jobs since I don't do much blowing or sucking... but lots of kissing, head-bobbing, and stroking with my tongue... mmm)

... go on....

I was just gonna leave it at that, but since you asked...

Sometimes, when a guy tries to finger me, it hurts. Like, feels like they're trying to poke a hole through my uterus, hurts. But when a guy rubs my clit, that usually feels good. Unless they do it too hard... damnit, I'm just overly sensitive. Seriously, it's too easy to hurt me on accident. Only way to get rid of that is practice.

(I'm not kidding, that is exactly what I was going to post after it, but I decided to leave it be, because I wanted to let you guys imagine. But you asked...)

 

[bawksy]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

How has anyone not posted this yet?

 

[curvyredhead]

Re: No woman can give me a handjob better than I can give my

I like to put my penis in ladies' buttholes

word