Patience and emotions - advice

[Maryjane440]

Hello ladies,
i struggle about 4 years on free camsites with patience and confidence, which keeps me away from success. I set personal goal, but when shift is slow, im afraid of natural face reaction,which shows,how i feel emotionally.I feel like i cannot have a bad day, because models will make me eat it. Im able to handle trolling from users, but models know better,how to make you feel bad. Dont take me wrong,i dont mean all models!
We all have a haters, but it looks, like im not strong enough to handle my weakness(bad day),feeling hated by whole world. Is it ego? Fear of looking unsuccessful? I did never care,if i will be in the top, but then something changed and i started to feel pressure.
Even i know, it is about to stay long and be consistent, there comes my unpatience personality, when i feel like i want to jump from the window or kill somebody for not rewarding my effort,cause others are witnessing my bad day - (knowing,others take it immediately as an opportunity to take me down) - feeling like an idiot and dont wanna entertain at all,so i will take a break and live in circle.
I can try too much - and be fake actress,or not try -and have a bad day (cause guys are used to see action from me,surprise usually not come,but who knows,i dont stay long enough,not consistent enough).. Im trying to find balance and it is little bit better..but still...I have respect for all models and admire their strong will.
So here are my questions, if someone would be willing to share advice on
1) How you overcome fear from failure and emotions when you are having a bad day,when you comparing yourself to other models?
2)How to be patient during shift and not take bully comments or "user" nicknames personally/or with anger/fear of looking sad-unsuccessful in front of others?
I know,there is no recipe for success,this post is very personal for me,thinking long time if i should post it,so please dont judge me too much. I just want to move on, stop fearing of bad days,people reactions and my own reactions and feel a bit of satisfaction and natural calmness in my life- im just a human. I have tried to work with myself, but i feel strong resistance. This is the biggest challenge of my life and im loosing it and it feels really horrible. Even there could be simple solution. Maybe little empathy from people would help me a bit. I dont know, i just dont want to end up with hating myself for repeating same mistakes over and over again.
Thank you in advance - for your honest opinions. (sorry for long story and for gramatic mistakes)

 

[Sxmxr]

Hello ladies,
i struggle about 4 years on free camsites with patience and confidence, which keeps me away from success. I set personal goal, but when shift is slow, im afraid of natural face reaction,which shows,how i feel emotionally.I feel like i cannot have a bad day, because models will make me eat it. Im able to handle trolling from users, but models know better,how to make you feel bad. Dont take me wrong,i dont mean all models!
We all have a haters, but it looks, like im not strong enough to handle my weakness(bad day),feeling hated by whole world. Is it ego? Fear of looking unsuccessful? I did never care,if i will be in the top, but then something changed and i started to feel pressure.
Even i know, it is about to stay long and be consistent, there comes my unpatience personality, when i feel like i want to jump from the window or kill somebody for not rewarding my effort,cause others are witnessing my bad day - (knowing,others take it immediately as an opportunity to take me down) - feeling like an idiot and dont wanna entertain at all,so i will take a break and live in circle.
I can try too much - and be fake actress,or not try -and have a bad day (cause guys are used to see action from me,surprise usually not come,but who knows,i dont stay long enough,not consistent enough).. Im trying to find balance and it is little bit better..but still...I have respect for all models and admire their strong will.
So here are my questions, if someone would be willing to share advice on
1) How you overcome fear from failure and emotions when you are having a bad day,when you comparing yourself to other models?
2)How to be patient during shift and not take bully comments or "user" nicknames personally/or with anger/fear of looking sad-unsuccessful in front of others?
I know,there is no recipe for success,this post is very personal for me,thinking long time if i should post it,so please dont judge me too much. I just want to move on, stop fearing of bad days,people reactions and my own reactions and feel a bit of satisfaction and natural calmness in my life- im just a human. I have tried to work with myself, but i feel strong resistance. This is the biggest challenge of my life and im loosing it and it feels really horrible. Even there could be simple solution. Maybe little empathy from people would help me a bit. I dont know, i just dont want to end up with hating myself for repeating same mistakes over and over again.
Thank you in advance - for your honest opinions. (sorry for long story and for gramatic mistakes)

Some days will be better than others. Sometimes you just have to think of it like a regular job where you will be dealing with similar difficult people.
also we all have flaws and no one is perfect so instead of focusing on what could go wrong, think about what could go right.

Sometimes I think that no one will tip me because I hate my thighs I always have and was alway teased for them but I focus on what I do like about myself, shake it off and take it one step at a time.

Sometimes the first few steps won’t be too confident but if you keep going, you will find your balance. Don’t think about failure, think about your next step.
And some days just suck and your still stressed and tired but when you give as much as you can on those days other days will be more rewarding.

Also don’t compare yourself to anyone because the person you’re comparing yourself to probably feel the same way sometimes. The grass is always greener where you take care of it.

 

[Mila_]

You need an 180 in your mindset here. Think of it like this: the only thing guaranteed here is to fail. Failure is going to happen to you every single day if you don't do your part. It happens to everybody because this is the name of the game. Some days you will be able to turn the failure into a win and that is amazing. Some days you will not. When you turn on your cam your job is to turn the failure into a win, and to do that you have to accept the failure from the start and work your way around it to win. It will be easy sometimes, the money is just flowing, it happens. Some days it will be more difficult and you will have to come up with 10 different strategies to turn the room around. Sometimes you will win, sometimes you will lose but if you don't try you will always lose. Make it a fun challenge to yourself.

Now.. when it comes to how you come across to other people... I don't know, I have very little shame. It's not that I don't care what others think, I guess I do, but when I am doing something in the moment the opinions of other people are a very distant thought and it only bothers me after the fact sometimes. Perhaps because I am impulsive and I capitalize on that. Still, trust me when I say if other mdoels are going out of their way to make you feel bad and you didn't do anything to them you are doing something right.

 

[Danigirl]

Last week or two I've started doing affirmations in the mirror to myself. Finding 3 things I like about my body. Could be anything from eye color, good hair day, bloat is down, skin finally looks clearer whatever. Find three things you like and smile. Tell yourself you're pretty. Force it if it's weird in the beginning. I thought it was stupid but it's really changed my attitude in the morning and I am a bit more positive through out the day. No one can make you feel like shit without your permission. Don't give it.

Where do you hear the models giving criticism or hate? Ban them from the room, don't go to or read what they say if elsewhere. Hurt people are the ones who hurt people. It's insecure douches who go out of their way to be mean to others. Happy people or secure people just focus on their goal. Camming is def not for thin skin. It can be absolutely brutal. Sorry you have this.

 

[Humburgalar]

I don't know who you are but I sure am glad you're a cam model. It's an important job and I hope you continue and that it gets easier for you.

 

[Marceline]

I faced a lot of the same issues with impatience and struggling to remain consistent when I was still camming on MFC. I knew that if I stayed online longer, if I made it a point to cam at the same time everyday, that I would have done much better than I did. But, being as impatient as I am, I'd get frustrated if my goals weren't met in the timeframe I had set for them in my mind, so I'd want to log off and if I did remain online I'd be grumpy. It got to the point to where I began dreading having to work because the thought of "what if I'm not able to reach my goals" was always in the back of my mind whenever I was about to log on. I was setting myself up for failure, because that mindset was putting me into a negative mood and people can easily pick up on those moods, even when you're trying to hide it. And people don't go on cam sites to be around negativity. People go on cam sites to forget about whatever negativity they may have in their daily life and to have a good time with pretty models.

Back when I was still a bartender I ran into similar issues. Sometimes when I thought it wouldn't be a good night, that'd it be slow or we'd have a terrible crowd because of whatever event the club I worked at was hosting or I was just not feeling good (i.e hungover, haha), I'd go into work with a sourpuss attitude. That would usually greatly affect my tips, even when I was trying my best to hide how grouchy I was. Whereas, whenever I went into work with a positive, happy attitude I'd do really well, even if it wasn't that busy. Happiness and positivity attracts people.

You can try changing your mindset. Meditate, do yoga, repeat affirmations, etc. You can also try changing up how you work. I know this won't work for everyone, but for me, the best decision I ever made in the time I've been in this industry was to switch from live camming to making content. The constant worry about how my cam shows would go, having to mentally prepare myself before every shift in case it didn't go how I planned, it really took a toll on me. I started making more content outside of the vanilla content I had been making up until then (which I mainly did because I thought that was what I had to do to make money, despite not enjoying it or even being all that comfortable with it), and focused on niche stuff I knew and enjoyed filming. I got lucky and got pretty popular in one niche category right off the bat, and I was able to stop camming and focus 100% on content creation. Still do it to this day and haven't looked back. I absolutely love what I do and I don't think I'd be this happy, or financially secure, if I hadn't taken that leap to change up what I was doing. That's not to say you should do what I did, but, you can always change up your camming style, put out more content or change sites and see if that helps.

As far as trolls or bullies go, fuck 'em. Ban models from your room, ban greys or basics from chatting, and ban anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable in your own room. If they talk outside of your room, like on social media, ignore it. Don't engage. If you don't entertain any of their nonsense, they will eventually stop, because people who do spend their time harassing or trolling other people do it for a reaction. If you don't give them what they are looking for, there's no reason for them to continue.

 

[Maryjane440]

When im reading my post, it seems to be little bit oversensitive , but i have those feelings for so long+ family issues ,so i felt weak. I needed to hear opinions from someone from the industry, since this is isolating job. Guys, thank you. For your supportive comments and experiences. I will take your advices and use them in hope, i will be able to turn situation my way. It is lot about mental work,it feels little bit better to know, im not totally alone and really appreciate,that you shared your thoughts with me..I will try to think more in long term and when i will feel down,im gonna read this.At the end of the day,this can be best job ever,when you know,how to play the game. Thank you again and wish you all the best ♥