Hello ladies,
i struggle about 4 years on free camsites with patience and confidence, which keeps me away from success. I set personal goal, but when shift is slow, im afraid of natural face reaction,which shows,how i feel emotionally.I feel like i cannot have a bad day, because models will make me eat it. Im able to handle trolling from users, but models know better,how to make you feel bad. Dont take me wrong,i dont mean all models!
We all have a haters, but it looks, like im not strong enough to handle my weakness(bad day),feeling hated by whole world. Is it ego? Fear of looking unsuccessful? I did never care,if i will be in the top, but then something changed and i started to feel pressure.
Even i know, it is about to stay long and be consistent, there comes my unpatience personality, when i feel like i want to jump from the window or kill somebody for not rewarding my effort,cause others are witnessing my bad day - (knowing,others take it immediately as an opportunity to take me down) - feeling like an idiot and dont wanna entertain at all,so i will take a break and live in circle.
I can try too much - and be fake actress,or not try -and have a bad day (cause guys are used to see action from me,surprise usually not come,but who knows,i dont stay long enough,not consistent enough).. Im trying to find balance and it is little bit better..but still...I have respect for all models and admire their strong will.
So here are my questions, if someone would be willing to share advice on
1) How you overcome fear from failure and emotions when you are having a bad day,when you comparing yourself to other models?
2)How to be patient during shift and not take bully comments or "user" nicknames personally/or with anger/fear of looking sad-unsuccessful in front of others?
I know,there is no recipe for success,this post is very personal for me,thinking long time if i should post it,so please dont judge me too much. I just want to move on, stop fearing of bad days,people reactions and my own reactions and feel a bit of satisfaction and natural calmness in my life- im just a human. I have tried to work with myself, but i feel strong resistance. This is the biggest challenge of my life and im loosing it and it feels really horrible. Even there could be simple solution. Maybe little empathy from people would help me a bit. I dont know, i just dont want to end up with hating myself for repeating same mistakes over and over again.
Thank you in advance - for your honest opinions. (sorry for long story and for gramatic mistakes)
i struggle about 4 years on free camsites with patience and confidence, which keeps me away from success. I set personal goal, but when shift is slow, im afraid of natural face reaction,which shows,how i feel emotionally.I feel like i cannot have a bad day, because models will make me eat it. Im able to handle trolling from users, but models know better,how to make you feel bad. Dont take me wrong,i dont mean all models!
We all have a haters, but it looks, like im not strong enough to handle my weakness(bad day),feeling hated by whole world. Is it ego? Fear of looking unsuccessful? I did never care,if i will be in the top, but then something changed and i started to feel pressure.
Even i know, it is about to stay long and be consistent, there comes my unpatience personality, when i feel like i want to jump from the window or kill somebody for not rewarding my effort,cause others are witnessing my bad day - (knowing,others take it immediately as an opportunity to take me down) - feeling like an idiot and dont wanna entertain at all,so i will take a break and live in circle.
I can try too much - and be fake actress,or not try -and have a bad day (cause guys are used to see action from me,surprise usually not come,but who knows,i dont stay long enough,not consistent enough).. Im trying to find balance and it is little bit better..but still...I have respect for all models and admire their strong will.
So here are my questions, if someone would be willing to share advice on
1) How you overcome fear from failure and emotions when you are having a bad day,when you comparing yourself to other models?
2)How to be patient during shift and not take bully comments or "user" nicknames personally/or with anger/fear of looking sad-unsuccessful in front of others?
I know,there is no recipe for success,this post is very personal for me,thinking long time if i should post it,so please dont judge me too much. I just want to move on, stop fearing of bad days,people reactions and my own reactions and feel a bit of satisfaction and natural calmness in my life- im just a human. I have tried to work with myself, but i feel strong resistance. This is the biggest challenge of my life and im loosing it and it feels really horrible. Even there could be simple solution. Maybe little empathy from people would help me a bit. I dont know, i just dont want to end up with hating myself for repeating same mistakes over and over again.
Thank you in advance - for your honest opinions. (sorry for long story and for gramatic mistakes)