Shitty Ask-a-Model - Like Ask-a-Model only shittier

[AmberCutie]

Have you ever had a wacky mix-up where you accidentally shipped your used panties to your dad and a book about World War II and an "over the hill" birthday card to a confused MFC member?

No, but on facebook, several times I was THIS CLOSE to sending a nsfw or ACF link to a friend who doesn't know what I do instead of to one of the models I'm facebook friends with.
I usually have several chat tabs open on facebook because I'm such a smart cookie. :roll: I'm really just waiting for the day it'll inevitably happen and this will be my exact reaction:

Why do you have real life acquaintances on your model facebook? Or do you have RL friends that are also models? Because I know you didn't give out your RL facebook to other cam girls...

Also yeah, that backwards gif really fucks my eyeballs lol.

Adding an edit for clarity, sorry this is so serious in a thread meant for sillies...

There are a lot of girls who are uber paranoid about people finding out their location, and about their personal info being leaked, and about RL people finding their cam girl profiles, so mixing RL social networking accounts with cam profile personas is scary. Having an RL facebook is scary enough, even when it's on lockdown, but having friends added that are in your cam life is bound to lead to some sort of interference at some time. Even if it's the other cam girls RL facebooks, it would still be less risky to chat/message/etc via other means which are cam girl friendly.

I've typed this much because I'm a tad shocked at the post I quoted since location and personal information being kept private has always seemed high priority for you, Lily.

 

[yossarian]

Why do so many models use the Hitachi incorrectly? Clearly it's designed for vaginal penetration and yet most models just use it on their clit. Being a cultured guy, I don't mind a bit of artsy fartsy teasing, but when I lay down a 10 token tip, I wanna see some penetration, dammit :?

Not to mention it's supposed to be a back massager! It says so on the box!

When I first saw a girl taking tips for a Hitachi show I thought "Ah, that's nice, she's going to give herself a stress relieving back massage--ZOMG THAT'S NOT YOUR BACK THAT'S YOUR LADYCLOSET!"

 

[mynameisbob84]

Why do so many models use the Hitachi incorrectly? Clearly it's designed for vaginal penetration and yet most models just use it on their clit. Being a cultured guy, I don't mind a bit of artsy fartsy teasing, but when I lay down a 10 token tip, I wanna see some penetration, dammit :?

Not to mention it's supposed to be a back massager! It says so on the box!

When I first saw a girl taking tips for a Hitachi show I thought "Ah, that's nice, she's going to give herself a stress relieving back massage--ZOMG THAT'S NOT YOUR BACK THAT'S YOUR LADYCLOSET!"

I'm always reminded of the Bill Hicks bit where he talks about the US supplying Iraq with "farming equipment" and the Iraqis converting them into weapons. (2:30 on)



I always picture some prudish old couple selling "back massagers" in a general appliance store in some conservative township, recoiling in horror when they realise what their "back massagers" are being used for.

"Yeah, we sold this young woman a vibrating phallus so she could massage her back at home... but do you know what she did with that? :?"

 

[yossarian]

I remember in grade school my friend showing us his mom's "back massager" and telling us how he used it when he was stressed from school. Even then, my other friend and I were like..."Oh...dear...God..."

 

[yossarian]

Have you ever had a wacky mix-up where you accidentally shipped your used panties to your dad and a book about World War II and an "over the hill" birthday card to a confused MFC member?

No, but on facebook, several times I was THIS CLOSE to sending a nsfw or ACF link to a friend who doesn't know what I do instead of to one of the models I'm facebook friends with.
I usually have several chat tabs open on facebook because I'm such a smart cookie. :roll: I'm really just waiting for the day it'll inevitably happen and this will be my exact reaction:

Why do you have real life acquaintances on your model facebook? Or do you have RL friends that are also models? Because I know you didn't give out your RL facebook to other cam girls...

Also yeah, that backwards gif really fucks my eyeballs lol.

Adding an edit for clarity, sorry this is so serious in a thread meant for sillies...

There are a lot of girls who are uber paranoid about people finding out their location, and about their personal info being leaked, and about RL people finding their cam girl profiles, so mixing RL social networking accounts with cam profile personas is scary. Having an RL facebook is scary enough, even when it's on lockdown, but having friends added that are in your cam life is bound to lead to some sort of interference at some time. Even if it's the other cam girls RL facebooks, it would still be less risky to chat/message/etc via other means which are cam girl friendly.

I've typed this much because I'm a tad shocked at the post I quoted since location and personal information being kept private has always seemed high priority for you, Lily.

I took it as maybe she has two separate FB accounts (one RL and one camfriends) and had chats open from both at the same time?

 

[Poker_Babe]

Have you ever had a wacky mix-up where you accidentally shipped your used panties to your dad and a book about World War II and an "over the hill" birthday card to a confused MFC member?

No, but I accidentally sent my dad the video of me stripping naked and a member the video of me singing happy birthday twice (once properly, once off-key with the rotten lyrics). Luckily, my dad didn't quite have a heart-attack, but the conversation was AWKWARD for the next year.



Not actually true, but I thought that was the spirit of the thread.

Ah man... I didn't see the "Not true" part until just now, after clicking the quote icon, and ready to type my reply... This really did happen to me, and I've never spoken about it to anyone. Well it wasn't a video, it was a "naughty" picture that accidentally got emailed to my uncle (my dad's brother). Stupid auto fill on the recipient email address line put in my uncle's email instead and I didn't realize it until after going through my sent mail box a few minutes later. OMG I flipped the fuck out. Thought I was gonna throw up... seriously.
But it actually feels better to get that off my chest now.

 

[LilyMarie]

Why do you have real life acquaintances on your model facebook? Or do you have RL friends that are also models? Because I know you didn't give out your RL facebook to other cam girls...

Also yeah, that backwards gif really fucks my eyeballs lol.

Adding an edit for clarity, sorry this is so serious in a thread meant for sillies...

There are a lot of girls who are uber paranoid about people finding out their location, and about their personal info being leaked, and about RL people finding their cam girl profiles, so mixing RL social networking accounts with cam profile personas is scary. Having an RL facebook is scary enough, even when it's on lockdown, but having friends added that are in your cam life is bound to lead to some sort of interference at some time. Even if it's the other cam girls RL facebooks, it would still be less risky to chat/message/etc via other means which are cam girl friendly.

I've typed this much because I'm a tad shocked at the post I quoted since location and personal information being kept private has always seemed high priority for you, Lily.

I took it as maybe she has two separate FB accounts (one RL and one camfriends) and had chats open from both at the same time?

I only have a personal facebook. I have 3 models friends on my personal facebook - I really trust those girls with all my heart. I don't think there's much of a risk with them.
I'm sorry about the gif, I don't watch The Office (but I should). I found the gif on tumblr someday and saved it ^^

 

[AmberCutie]

Why do you have real life acquaintances on your model facebook? Or do you have RL friends that are also models? Because I know you didn't give out your RL facebook to other cam girls...

Also yeah, that backwards gif really fucks my eyeballs lol.

Adding an edit for clarity, sorry this is so serious in a thread meant for sillies...

There are a lot of girls who are uber paranoid about people finding out their location, and about their personal info being leaked, and about RL people finding their cam girl profiles, so mixing RL social networking accounts with cam profile personas is scary. Having an RL facebook is scary enough, even when it's on lockdown, but having friends added that are in your cam life is bound to lead to some sort of interference at some time. Even if it's the other cam girls RL facebooks, it would still be less risky to chat/message/etc via other means which are cam girl friendly.

I've typed this much because I'm a tad shocked at the post I quoted since location and personal information being kept private has always seemed high priority for you, Lily.

I took it as maybe she has two separate FB accounts (one RL and one camfriends) and had chats open from both at the same time?

I only have a personal facebook. I have 3 models friends on my personal facebook - I really trust those girls with all my heart. I don't think there's much of a risk with them.
I'm sorry about the gif, I don't watch The Office (but I should). I found the gif on tumblr someday and saved it ^^

It's not about trusting the models, it's about crossing over your personal life with your model life. I PMd you with my ultimate concern.

 

[LadyLuna]

Why do so many models use the Hitachi incorrectly? Clearly it's designed for vaginal penetration and yet most models just use it on their clit. Being a cultured guy, I don't mind a bit of artsy fartsy teasing, but when I lay down a 10 token tip, I wanna see some penetration, dammit :?

Disclaimer: As previously stated, I'm taking this thread in the spirit of replies being trollish. Do not take anything I post here seriously.

Because using it correctly fucks with the menstrual cycle. Shit, sometimes using it incorrectly fucks with the menstrual cycle. See, it's so powerful that if used shortly after a period, it can vibrate the egg right out of the ovaries. And if a girl used anytime during the week before she's supposed to start, she will start bleeding the next day. Some girls have vaginal walls that are so thin, that it works even when used on the outside, which is why those girls won't use it (no matter what they tell you about why they won't use it, it's because of this).

Any time you see a girl insert a hitatchi (or even the seven-speed massager that looks like a hitatchi but is pink) she's trying to get her period to come early. Or she's late, and trying to make it start already.

Once again, this was a trollish post. I'm putting this here because most people don't expect me to come up with a trollish post, and since this seems like an explanation which could sound logical to people who don't know much about a woman's body. To my knowledge, nothing in the explanation I gave is fact.

 

[zippypinhead]

Be honest:

Does this gold-plated Lamborghini make my penis look too big?

 

[yossarian]

Be honest:

Does this gold-plated Lamborghini make my penis look too big?

You need a second one, just for your penis.

 

[Sevrin]

Once again, this was a trollish post. I'm putting this here because most people don't expect me to come up with a trollish post, and since this seems like an explanation which could sound logical to people who don't know much about a woman's body. To my knowledge, nothing in the explanation I gave is fact.

Luna, where did you take your trolling lessons? Show them this post and see if you can't get your money back.

 

[EdgarAllenWhoa]

If you blow into your thumb, do your boobs get bigger....bb's?








I added the cheap "baby's" at the end because that's what makes it classy.
:character-hobbes:

 

[LadyLuna]

Once again, this was a trollish post. I'm putting this here because most people don't expect me to come up with a trollish post, and since this seems like an explanation which could sound logical to people who don't know much about a woman's body. To my knowledge, nothing in the explanation I gave is fact.

Luna, where did you take your trolling lessons? Show them this post and see if you can't get your money back.

TrollISH. I am not a troll. I am just a cammodel having a bit of fun coming up with answers that seem likely.

 

[LadyLuna]

Be honest:

Does this gold-plated Lamborghini make my penis look too big?

No, in fact, it doesn't make your penis stand out too enough. Try adding diamonds.

If you blow into your thumb, do your boobs get bigger....bb's?

Why yes, it does! Unfortunately, sucking on my thumb makes them smaller again. I have to be very careful to switch to sucking on a penis before my boobs become too small. This is why the size of a woman's boobs fluctuates so much that it takes an hour to find a bra which fits.

Though, generally, if you leave off sucking and blowing for awhile, the boobs gradually go back to their normal size. Kinda like how a balloon leaks air. Interestingly, it's theorized that women who blow their boobs too often cause their boobs to lose their perkiness sooner, but they're having trouble finding a control group to test this.

 

[zippypinhead]

You're a superstar at this, Luna. :thumbleft:

 

[missmeowmixx]

What does a lady boner look like?

Shaun__ was of course correct. Vouched.

Being cam girls, it stands to reason that you're all sex addicted nymphettes and spend at least 16 hours a day either having sex or feeding the pony while all those pics of member's dicks run through your mind's eye like some cockoscopic slideshow. What do you fill the rest of your day with?

SLEEPING, hello, there is only 24 hours in a fucking day.

Be honest:

Does this gold-plated Lamborghini make my penis look too big?

Yup. You want one of these.


^^^^
incidentally, this is also what my particular ladyboner looks like.

Disclaimer: As previously stated, I'm taking this thread in the spirit of replies being trollish. Do not take anything I post here seriously.
Once again, this was a trollish post. I'm putting this here because most people don't expect me to come up with a trollish post, and since this seems like an explanation which could sound logical to people who don't know much about a woman's body. To my knowledge, nothing in the explanation I gave is fact.

But but but but but butbutbutbutbutubt I BELIEVED YOU LUNA. No more disclaimers, you've got a talent that you should not put away.

 

[zippypinhead]

I'm so nervous and excited! I'm finally going to ask a model to marry me. But first, I have an important question:

Should I tip her before I pop the question, or should I wait until after she says "yes"?

 

[Jessi]

I'm so nervous and excited! I'm finally going to ask a model to marry me. But first, I have an important question:

Should I tip her before I pop the question, or should I wait until after she says "yes"?

No, never tip a model if you have romantic feelings for her. No self respecting woman would do sexual things for money, so if you do anything other than lurk for free and take up all her attention, you are disrespecting her!
If you ever spend a dime on her you'll never know if her feelings for you are true! Everyone knows you cant have genuine friendship/relationship after youve done business with someone. Shes supposed to love you for who you are, what kind of gross shallow whore would expect you to pay for her time and attention?! Afterall, you're not like the other guys.

 

[AshleyMarks]

How come models queef glitter and poop rainbows? Is this some magical thing that you have to become a cam model for? I mean damn! When exactly does the unicorn stop showing up? I just have to know. Layeth all your secrets upon me. The damn unicorn has been eating all of my food and stealing my chair from me since last month. Make..it..Stop! Ahhhhhh!

 

[yossarian]

I'm so nervous and excited! I'm finally going to ask a model to marry me. But first, I have an important question:

Should I tip her before I pop the question, or should I wait until after she says "yes"?

No, never tip a model if you have romantic feelings for her. No self respecting woman would do sexual things for money, so if you do anything other than lurk for free and take up all her attention, you are disrespecting her!

This is so true. Nothing says "I love you" like a well-placed "show ass bb" unaccompanied by a tip.

Oh, and a gross emote involving ejaculation. :thumbleft: