Something I detest doing but I feel must be done.

[Jebbaz]

I want too start by formally apologizing to everyone on the forum. I've been an ass as of late, and there is no excuse for it. I've gotten a little too attached to the forum, and MFC in general, and its affected my behavior. I'm not trying to explain away my behaviors or get any sympathy, because I hate people who do such things only for attention. No... I'm writing this because I want to earn some respect back.

Truth about my life is, since I moved to this town, 8 months ago now, I have not made a single friend. I have tried, and tried and tried, but too no avail. Its made my life difficult... and in the absence of real life companionship I rediscovered MFC and eventually this forum. As far as a social life goes, as far as having any friends at all. This is all I have. I've let myself get slightly dependent on this... and when I see things that my desperate mind views as a threat to my happy place, I've attacked. This is highly inappropriate of me, and I will cease at once.

I know I've messed up... a lot recently. I sat in Amber's chat for nearly 2 hours tonight and never said a word... was afraid I'd use my final straw and get banned.



The point of this increasingly long and pathetic bank of text is that I am sorry if I've mistreated you, and I hope you can forgive me and we can move on.
This is all I've got right now. I cant lose it.

 

[Eva_ChangeN]

I have respected you ever since I first read a post by you on here. In general, you have been more or less with the majority on most topics. I do commend you for stepping up and not making excuses but, putting yourself out there...or here rather. Maybe you need some time away from the internet. About once every 6 months I stop logging in and make a few days of personal time, to meet new real people. Maybe go to a festival, show, park and make new friends. Maybe just find a club and chat it up with some people. Ya know...just reconnect with yourself, your mind and maybe some new people. Then come back and not be so addicted or drawn into your net life. It's easy for the net to take presidence, just take a few steps back and breath without a screen in your face Sometimes its just what ya need

:romance-grouphug:

 

[BCamden]

Totally cool of you to man up, admit you're wrong, and ask forgiveness.
Here's hoping you'll meet some real life cool people.

 

[AmberCutie]

I'm glad you posted this, Jebbs. :angel10: Not because I feel we needed any apology, but because it's good to know that people still have the decency to take a look at themselves when called out instead of just getting defensive and ragequitting. I'm glad to have you on the forum and on MFC, but definitely noticed the presence of a lot of rage in posts and replies in MFC chat that didn't necessarily need it. You mean well, as you stand up for those you hold close to you, just gotta take a deep breath before posting/replying sometimes.

 

[Mirra]

.... it's good to know that people still have the decency to take a look at themselves when called out instead of just getting defensive and ragequitting.

WTF Amber!?!?!? If that's how you feel that's fine. I'm done. PEACE OUT.

>_>

I honestly didn't notice the extra rage coming from Jebbaz. Guess I fail. :-(

 

[JoleneBrody]

I'm kinda new... I just thought you were always like that... :lol:
Still, I really like you and enjoy your posts... I find drama seems to track down your posts and vice-versa but it's was just part of the scenery to me.
Huge props for baring yourself, though!

Mwah!

 

[LadyLuna]

Does this mean the old Jebbaz, who I was waiting to come joke around in my room but never got to before I had to take a break, is gonna come back?

DAMNIT, now I need to get back to full time camming FAST.

*huggles* WB happy Jebbaz.

I will say, even your ragey threads were usually fairly well written, if a bit blunt. And I really can't comment on being too blunt. Stupid math major mind... luckily my writer-ness has been coming out more lately and softening the bluntness.

My suggestion:

Read, and write (not on a forum, just writing). It tends to make a person a hell of a lot more sensitive, and gives you a chance to get out what you need to, along with working out whatever is going on.