The Cam Model Gender Gap

[DeezNA]

It was the same kinda deal when I was a male stripper several years ago: either you were a top of the line Chippendales kinda dude or you were... basically gay. Between that and the ridiculously sketchy management, I called that quits very quickly.

That aside, since we're dipping into sexual politics a little here, this is where I'm at with it. I truly and honestly believe that, as a species, we should be WELL beyond unfair treatment based on gender, sexual preference, race, religion, whatever. We are at a point in history where we SHOULD be past all that bullshit and I don't play into it. EVERYONE gets a fair chance in my presence unless they give me a legitimate reason to treat them otherwise.

I am aware that I am a minority in this way of thinking, it's disheartening but it's reality. Either men are stuck in the some archaic alpha mentality or women are (rightfully) spiteful of the horrific treatment men have bestowed upon them over the entire course of history. It is understandable, it is justified, but it is also cyclical and breeds resentment. It wasn't "men" that treated women (or any other oppressed group) so horribly, it was a bunch of ignorant, fucked-up assholes. Their sex had nothing to do with their bullshit, it was simply an excuse for their sociopathy.

I don't mean to insult or stir up a hornets nest with these statements, they are my personal views, so please take that with a grain of salt.

With that said, in the digital world (especially the cam world) we create our own communities. We choose who can stay and who can go, who is welcome and who is not, who is treated as a peer and who is treated as lesser. We can ban, block, ignore, unfollow, delete, etc. Given this opportunity, we are also presented with the ability to see people as simply... humans. No gender, no race, just text on a screen that embodies how they choose to represent themselves.

I have really tried to seize this opportunity to improve myself as a person; to build my identity and interactive community not on the broken, fucked up foundation that ignorant assholes built, but on a fresh foundation of "either you are a respectful human or you are an asshole". I think, in a way, we can all relate to that and I really hope I'm not alone in this ideal.

 

[BambiPersimmon]

That aside, since we're dipping into sexual politics a little here, this is where I'm at with it. I truly and honestly believe that, as a species, we should be WELL beyond unfair treatment based on gender, sexual preference, race, religion, whatever. We are at a point in history where we SHOULD be past all that bullshit and I don't play into it. EVERYONE gets a fair chance in my presence unless they give me a legitimate reason to treat them otherwise.

I don't understand what you mean by "play into it". You mean "play into" oppression? Play into seeing differences between people?

I am aware that I am a minority in this way of thinking, it's disheartening but it's reality. Either men are stuck in the some archaic alpha mentality or women are (rightfully) spiteful of the horrific treatment men have bestowed upon them over the entire course of history. It is understandable, it is justified, but it is also cyclical and breeds resentment. It wasn't "men" that treated women (or any other oppressed group) so horribly, it was a bunch of ignorant, fucked-up assholes. Their sex had nothing to do with their bullshit, it was simply an excuse for their sociopathy.

I think that is a gross oversimplification of the history of oppression of any group. Maybe "fucked-up assholes" have committed atrocities BUT those who are apathetic or complicit are just as guilty even though most would not label them "fucked up assholes" or consider themselves as such. Saying someone's sex has NOTHING to do with their choice to oppress others is garbage. If one stands to gain something from oppression, they are likely to be complicit and even reinforce it. If "fucked up assholes" were mere outliers of humanity that did shitty things sometimes, they would not have the power to reinforce and keep systems of oppression into play.

With that said, in the digital world (especially the cam world) we create our own communities. We choose who can stay and who can go, who is welcome and who is not, who is treated as a peer and who is treated as lesser. We can ban, block, ignore, unfollow, delete, etc. Given this opportunity, we are also presented with the ability to see people as simply... humans. No gender, no race, just text on a screen that embodies how they choose to represent themselves.

Seeing people as "simply humans"? No gender, no race? Seeing people as "simply human" and not taking into account their gender or race is actually harmful. Knowing these things about someone helps to humanize and understand someone. How does giving everyone a generic human card solve things? Yes, SOLELY basing your treatment of someone based on those things is shitty, but refusing to acknowledge differences does not benefit anyone.

I have really tried to seize this opportunity to improve myself as a person; to build my identity and interactive community not on the broken, fucked up foundation that ignorant assholes built, but on a fresh foundation of "either you are a respectful human or you are an asshole". I think, in a way, we can all relate to that and I really hope I'm not alone in this ideal.

Good for you, but having a respectful human vs asshole mentality doesn't leave a lot of room for a gray area. There are respectful assholes. There are people who appear to be respectful humans, but are content to profit from systematic oppression and not give a shit about trying to make the world better for others (which is there prerogative). Some people are assholes because they feel respect needs to be earned rather than given freely. I'm not saying there is a right or wrong way to go about this. What I'm saying is that being a person that is a part of multiple marginalized groups, hearing the "we are all human" cliche makes me want to go screaming into the sunset.

 

[DeezNA]

I don't understand what you mean by "play into it". You mean "play into" oppression? Play into seeing differences between people?

I never claimed to not see differences in people, it's pretty obviously that everyone is a unique individual based on a myriad of factors and everyone has identifiable traits. We are not simply blank clones wandering around this rock. I mean I don't "play into" using gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, political affiliation, whatever as an excuse to hate or degrade a group of people before getting to know who they actually are as individuals. If I said I was white, that does not dictate who I am as a person, it dictates what color my skin is, what my blood lineage is. This does not dictate my personality, my beliefs: my identity as a human. Oppression happens. I am aware of this, it sucks but it's life. I don't see the benefit of hating people or treating them as "lesser" simply because they fall into a statistic, so I do not partake. That's what I mean by I don't play into it.

I think that is a gross oversimplification of the history of oppression of any group. Maybe "fucked-up assholes" have committed atrocities BUT those who are apathetic or complicit are just as guilty even though most would not label them "fucked up assholes" or consider themselves as such. Saying someone's sex has NOTHING to do with their choice to oppress others is garbage. If one stands to gain something from oppression, they are likely to be complicit and even reinforce it. If "fucked up assholes" were mere outliers of humanity that did shitty things sometimes, they would not have the power to reinforce and keep systems of oppression into play.

The history of oppression of any group is actually really simple, people are just really really fucking good at creating bullshit reasons to back up what they are trying to gain. Oppression is rooted in fear, it's suppression of a viewed threat; one of the most rudimentary forms of mammalian defense mechanisms. Oppression is used as a tool for personal gain, or to preserve the aforementioned gain. It's an excuse.

Being apathetic does not apply guilt, in my humble opinion, it's simply not taking action to stop or partake in something. It is literally neutrality, which can simultaneously have a good and bad connotation depending on perspective of others. Complying, for the most part, is either a necessary evil (i.e. a country surrendering to the Nazis in WWII because there is no way they could have won, lesser of two evils, potentially a few thousand lives) or a means to an end. There is no need to judge those who are thrust into a shitty situation and are forced to make impossible lose/lose choices and there is absolutely no need for them to be punished; being forced to make impossible decisions is punishment enough. The motivation behind these decisions is what truly defines an individual's moral identity.

Sex is absolutely a choice to oppress others, so is gender, religion, hair color, preferred shampoo brand, whatever you really want. They're all just reasons to hate a group of people and use them for personal gain, whether that gain is material, emotional or egotistical. Oppressors are by far not a minority and I never claimed they were, I simply try with every ounce of my soul not to be one of them and I will not perpetuate that cycle or allow myself to be engrossed in it.

Seeing people as "simply humans"? No gender, no race? Seeing people as "simply human" and not taking into account their gender or race is actually harmful. Knowing these things about someone helps to humanize and understand someone. How does giving everyone a generic human card solve things? Yes, SOLELY basing your treatment of someone based on those things is shitty, but refusing to acknowledge differences does not benefit anyone.

Once again, I am not claiming that I do not see these things. They are part of each individual's identity and are integral factors in development of personality, heritage, morality, identity, etc. I am simply stating that I do not use them as factors in judging how I feel about a person's personality or identity. Acknowledgement is absolutely there, but it is not by any means at the forefront. I see people as people, and THEN get to know them as individuals. To be clear, there is no refusal to acknowledge differences on my part; differences are simply factors that exist, interpersonal chemistry is what matters in social groups.

Good for you, but having a respectful human vs asshole mentality doesn't leave a lot of room for a gray area. There are respectful assholes. There are people who appear to be respectful humans, but are content to profit from systematic oppression and not give a shit about trying to make the world better for others (which is there prerogative). Some people are assholes because they feel respect needs to be earned rather than given freely. I'm not saying there is a right or wrong way to go about this. What I'm saying is that being a person that is a part of multiple marginalized groups, hearing the "we are all human" cliche makes me want to go screaming into the sunset.

Respect and being an asshole are mutually exclusive, I will give you that. I was using the word "asshole" in a colloquial sense to not get too serious with the matter. Respect is integral in my life and my interactions. I can be a complete asshole, it's all about context.

Getting too in-depth with profiting off the oppression of others is a very touchy subject that I don't think we should get into here. This world was colonized by blood and greed and we have ALL profited from that in one way or another. ALL of our hands are dirty in one way or another if we trace it far enough back, that guilt is either something we can blame ourselves and each other for (and what is really gained from that?) or we can learn from the atrocities of our predecessors and make ourselves the best humans we can be. That's really all I have or wish to say on that topic.

I'm sorry that the patchouli brigade (I know, ignorant judgement on a group of people, it's a joke, I apologize. Like I said, I can be an asshole too. =P) destroyed the integrity of the concept of treating people as equals, it really is a fucking shame and I'm with you 100% on wanting to scream about it. I am just tired of fighting over stupid shit and living in the past. Our future is ours to shape. Our community is ours to shape. I simply hope we can all shape it with the core of respecting each others' commonalities and differences and keeping ignorant or unjust hate and abuse out; that's what it really all comes down to.

 

[AedanRayne]

I'm thrilled that you're taking it seriously. Not much can be said that wasn't already said but it has been difficult to take male cam models seriously when they got the idea,

"Oh, I can just masturbate while on cam and make lots of money!"

Like Jolene said, they didn't take themselves seriously (by sitting in a dark room stroking with little appeal other than a hard dick). Also, they didn't take us seriously. Many men got the idea that being a cam model didn't require much work and it was purely orgasm = money. Many of them have insulted me on numerous occasions. It's sickening to get request after request from male "cam models" to do B/G shows together without having spoken to me before. I feel that many men thought it was a sly way into the industry and to get an easy lay.

So, I applaud you for taking it seriously and hope you can show men how to do it appropriately (Thor was a great example - I miss him) while being respectful to women and men in the industry. Best of luck to you!

 

[PersonalAngel]

I have thought about cam modeling just for the experience of it, but deep down inside I am afraid I would be alone in an empty room.

You know whats worse than an empty room? Having a full room of non talkers.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

The next time I hear someone say baby daddy, I will think of this post (BB DD). :lol:

Sorry I feel like I should contribute something serious, but it's pretty much all been said. You seem like a cool guy with a good idea how to actually treat his business. Hope things go well!

 

[xDollPartsx]

Awww look, we can all be friends. Can I get a "whoa Bundy?"

 

[Shaun__]

I have thought about cam modeling just for the experience of it, but deep down inside I am afraid I would be alone in an empty room.

You know whats worse than an empty room? Having a full room of non talkers.

That is why I try to talk when I visit a model.