Model getting distracted during private shows?

[minlop2]

Hello all. Sorry if this is long but its been bothering me lately and I could use some other perspectives or some advice.

I've been having private shows regularly with a model for almost a year now. She is great and we usually have pretty good shows but I've been noticing lately that it seems like she is reading another chat during our private shows. I can usually tell when she is reading my chat because she always looks in the same direction - bottom right - when responding to my messages. But sometimes she is looking at the other side of the screen and it seems like she is reacting to other messages, I can see her eyes scanning the other side of the screen and I notice her smiling or laughing like she is reacting to another user's message.

We don't do exclusive private shows, so I'm aware people can spy, but I feel like I should pretty much be getting her undivided attention during a private show. I can understand a glance here and there if she gets a tip or something, but lately it seems like she is more focused on the other chat than mine.

The part that really bothers me is that it seems like she responds better to the other chatter than with me, even though I'm the one paying for the show. I usually try to compliment her or make her feel good during our shows and lately she barely acknowledges it. In the past, she was a lot more responsive to my comments and the energy was just better, but now she just seems less interested during our shows. And with this other chatter she is all smiley and giggly. It makes me feel bad because this chatter is getting the same positive attention I used to get while I'm getting nothing and I don't even know why. I almost feel like its not even my show and I'm just paying for this other guy.

I'm not really sure what to do. Sometimes I want to confront her during the show and ask if shes reading another chat, but I feel like that might be weird. I want to keep seeing this model, but its just such a huge turn off knowing that this other chatter is distracting her during our shows.

Thanks for reading. Any help is appreciated!

 

[stormythunder]

Hello all. Sorry if this is long but its been bothering me lately and I could use some other perspectives or some advice.

I've been having private shows regularly with a model for almost a year now. She is great and we usually have pretty good shows but I've been noticing lately that it seems like she is reading another chat during our private shows. I can usually tell when she is reading my chat because she always looks in the same direction - bottom right - when responding to my messages. But sometimes she is looking at the other side of the screen and it seems like she is reacting to other messages, I can see her eyes scanning the other side of the screen and I notice her smiling or laughing like she is reacting to another user's message.

We don't do exclusive private shows, so I'm aware people can spy, but I feel like I should pretty much be getting her undivided attention during a private show. I can understand a glance here and there if she gets a tip or something, but lately it seems like she is more focused on the other chat than mine.

The part that really bothers me is that it seems like she responds better to the other chatter than with me, even though I'm the one paying for the show. I usually try to compliment her or make her feel good during our shows and lately she barely acknowledges it. In the past, she was a lot more responsive to my comments and the energy was just better, but now she just seems less interested during our shows. And with this other chatter she is all smiley and giggly. It makes me feel bad because this chatter is getting the same positive attention I used to get while I'm getting nothing and I don't even know why. I almost feel like its not even my show and I'm just paying for this other guy.

I'm not really sure what to do. Sometimes I want to confront her during the show and ask if shes reading another chat, but I feel like that might be weird. I want to keep seeing this model, but its just such a huge turn off knowing that this other chatter is distracting her during our shows.

Thanks for reading. Any help is appreciated!

If it's killing your boner then I would find another model to request privates from. We can't control what the models do. I guess if you suspected it was against TOS that would be a little different but since it is a spy show I think it's up to how she wants to run it. I understand being put off by not getting what you feel you've paid for though.

 

[m3lissa]

Hello all. Sorry if this is long but its been bothering me lately and I could use some other perspectives or some advice...

I agree with Stormy about maybe finding another model to do pvts with. It may be that she actually changed her behaviour towards you or it may be you that just don't feel the same. But either way, there's no point on doing it if you're not gonna enjoy it.

And yes, I think it would be weird if you confronted her. Maybe let it rest and come back after some time if you really like her.

 

[Makko]

Did a TruePrivate a few days ago, From the start she was just typing (not to me) and completely ignoring me. After about 5 minutes, I told her all that typing was annoying and quit the show. Never came back to her room.
Just ask what she's doing. You're paying the big bucks and so you should be the focus. Or just stay away and if she asks why, tell her what bothers you.

 

[Vixxen81]

When you guys post stuff like this, you really need to tell us which cam site it is on. Because, for instance, if it was Chaturbate, she's watching her token count when looking at the bottom left.

 

[NotYou]

She could quite easily be doing private shows on multiple platforms at the same time and simply paying attention more to the other place if she earns more per minute from it.

FYI we have all experienced this one time or another. You have an easy choice to make: 1) speak to her about it and see what she says (especially if you're a regular), 2) put up with it and say nothing/do nothing, or 3) Stop having shows with the model if it's happening a lot over the year (not sure why'd you stick around too long if it keeps happening so that's on you to be fair)

 

[Vixxen81]

I'm going to be that bitch...

Sometimes you guys are just fucking boring. If you're not tipping on top and you don't have good game how much do you really want us to do when you're in private, especially dependent on the private rate itself. I give a little more because my rate is moderate but if you're not engaging and you don't tip more I'm gonna be a zombie about it.

 

[NotYou]

I'm going to be that bitch...

Sometimes you guys are just fucking boring. If you're not tipping on top and you don't have good game how much do you really want us to do when you're in private, especially dependent on the private rate itself. I give a little more because my rate is moderate but if you're not engaging and you don't tip more I'm gonna be a zombie about it.

Hahaha this is funny because in my previous post I originally wrote that maybe it's just he is being boring, but then I thought I was a bit of an ass to say and unfair, but glad great minds think alike

 

[yummybrownfox]

I'm going to be that bitch...

Sometimes you guys are just fucking boring. If you're not tipping on top and you don't have good game how much do you really want us to do when you're in private, especially dependent on the private rate itself. I give a little more because my rate is moderate but if you're not engaging and you don't tip more I'm gonna be a zombie about it.

Yeah, I'm getting tired of having to remind c2c guys to lower their cam for me so I can SEE them jerking off (Yes, I'm one of those chicks who genuinely enjoys watching a dude j/o during a paid session). It's weird for me to be in a c2c session, and just be staring at a dude's face and chest as he stares back at me...with his bottom half not visible on cam. Lol. It creeps me out...it's boring af...and I just don't see the point of a dude even turning on his cam for me if he's A) not showing me a lil' something...lol...or he's B) not interested in talking aloud with me, or performing a song for me. Haha. Cuz why do I need to even look at you on cam then? If you want to jerk off for me on cam, and you've enabled your camera for it, then show me the action as it's happening...DUH. Like they expect me to use a vibrator with my only visual being looking at their damn pores. Yeah, no...that's not gonna turn me on. Blurting out every 30 seconds "I want you to cum hard, bb" (Also fucking annoying...STOP DOING THIS!) when you're boring af, and ain't giving me anything to work with is a joke. Lol.

 

[KingMarti]

It's weird for me to be in a c2c session, and just be staring at a dude's face

It's the absolute worst when they are just sitting there like full on poker faced

 

[NotYou]

Yeah, I'm getting tired of having to remind c2c guys to lower their cam for me so I can SEE them jerking off (Yes, I'm one of those chicks who genuinely enjoys watching a dude j/o during a paid session). It's weird for me to be in a c2c session, and just be staring at a dude's face and chest as he stares back at me...with his bottom half not visible on cam. Lol. It creeps me out...it's boring af...and I just don't see the point of a dude even turning on his cam for me if he's A) not showing me a lil' something...lol...or he's B) not interested in talking aloud with me, or performing a song for me. Haha. Cuz why do I need to even look at you on cam then? If you want to jerk off for me on cam, and you've enabled your camera for it, then show me the action as it's happening...DUH. Like they expect me to use a vibrator with my only visual being looking at their damn pores. Yeah, no...that's not gonna turn me on. Blurting out every 30 seconds "I want you to cum hard, bb" (Also fucking annoying...STOP DOING THIS!) when you're boring af, and ain't giving me anything to work with is a joke. Lol.

To be fair this is a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation - regarding camera pointing at dick.
Some women hate it when you just point right at the dick, and then others hate when you're only on the face.. I think sometimes it's a courtesy thing, start off with face so we're not a complete creepy weirdo or whatever, then slowly move to dick.

I have definitely had models who hate seeing a dick at all, and others who really do enjoy it like you, so it's really difficult. BUT, I have personally learned ages ago to just ask if there is a preference before we start - or most models i will take are ones I have become regular with anyway so I have an idea already.

But I do hate just having my face staring all the show especially if it's a lengthy one, i feel like I have to exaggerate my expressions more if i am only showing face, then if i switch to dick i can relax more

 

[ts_cammer98]

Yeah, I'm getting tired of having to remind c2c guys to lower their cam for me so I can SEE them jerking off (Yes, I'm one of those chicks who genuinely enjoys watching a dude j/o during a paid session). It's weird for me to be in a c2c session, and just be staring at a dude's face and chest as he stares back at me...with his bottom half not visible on cam. Lol. It creeps me out...it's boring af...and I just don't see the point of a dude even turning on his cam for me if he's A) not showing me a lil' something...lol...or he's B) not interested in talking aloud with me, or performing a song for me. Haha. Cuz why do I need to even look at you on cam then? If you want to jerk off for me on cam, and you've enabled your camera for it, then show me the action as it's happening...DUH. Like they expect me to use a vibrator with my only visual being looking at their damn pores. Yeah, no...that's not gonna turn me on. Blurting out every 30 seconds "I want you to cum hard, bb" (Also fucking annoying...STOP DOING THIS!) when you're boring af, and ain't giving me anything to work with is a joke. Lol.

LMAO I scare a lot of guys in JOI, CEI stuff... I'm not very dommy what so ever, but here on chaturbate they kind of pick you lol idk, and you don't wanna leave too much money on the table, so as I guide them to jerk off I say spit on it! and they get so weird about it lmao. They ask for that stuff but can't stand to do it. Like you want me to guide you to eat your cum, and your scared to get your dick wet????
All those ppl that pay for pms or even in pvt and just say "your hot" over and over again, thats crazy and yes boring af! It's always a breath of fresh air when doing a pvt with someone who actually takes charge and directs me into some fun stuff (not just holding my feet up or masturbating in a very close shot)

 

[Vixxen81]

LMAO I scare a lot of guys in JOI, CEI stuff... I'm not very dommy what so ever, but here on chaturbate they kind of pick you lol idk, and you don't wanna leave too much money on the table, so as I guide them to jerk off I say spit on it! and they get so weird about it lmao. They ask for that stuff but can't stand to do it. Like you want me to guide you to eat your cum, and your scared to get your dick wet????
All those ppl that pay for pms or even in pvt and just say "your hot" over and over again, thats crazy and yes boring af! It's always a breath of fresh air when doing a pvt with someone who actually takes charge and directs me into some fun stuff (not just holding my feet up or masturbating in a very close shot)

Someone wanted me to tickle my feet and I was like I cannot think of anything I'd rather do less than look like a total idiot on cam for his 25 tokens.

 

[NotYou]

Someone wanted me to tickle my feet and I was like I cannot think of anything I'd rather do less than look like a total idiot on cam for his 25 tokens.

Can you even tickle your own feet? I mean, you can try but does it work? I have never been able to tickle my own... am I weird for not being able to?

 

[Vixxen81]

Can you even tickle your own feet? I mean, you can try but does it work? I have never been able to tickle my own... am I weird for not being able to?

I was going to explain to him that it doesn't work that way with sensory systems but I was polite and simply said no thank you I don't want to do that. He was polite in return.

But yeah I don't think you can tickle any part of your body on your own.

 

[ts_cammer98]

Someone wanted me to tickle my feet and I was like I cannot think of anything I'd rather do less than look like a total idiot on cam for his 25 tokens.

lol I do enjoy turning ppl on with some of the weirder kinks, but there is a lot of requests that are awkward or just nonsense to pull off on a cam. Plus oddly, a lot of the more weird kinksters don't seem to tip for what they want I've noticed. 25 tks is right on par with the stereotype lmao

I do get a few ppl that understand it will be done in pvt and have had fun with it, but yeah not too often. lmao

 

[Vixxen81]

lol I do enjoy turning ppl on with some of the weirder kinks, but there is a lot of requests that are awkward or just nonsense to pull off on a cam. Plus oddly, a lot of the more weird kinksters don't seem to tip for what they want I've noticed. 25 tks is right on par with the stereotype lmao

I do get a few ppl that understand it will be done in pvt and have had fun with it, but yeah not too often. lmao

I suggested private and he was like nah, so I felt it was fair to do the same. Unfortunately for me, I tend to get the TOS-violating kinky people so I rarely get to have fun with the kinks I enjoy like dude-on-dude oral and that line of play.

 

[NotYou]

lol I do enjoy turning ppl on with some of the weirder kinks, but there is a lot of requests that are awkward or just nonsense to pull off on a cam. Plus oddly, a lot of the more weird kinksters don't seem to tip for what they want I've noticed. 25 tks is right on par with the stereotype lmao

I do get a few ppl that understand it will be done in pvt and have had fun with it, but yeah not too often. lmao

Feet and Slave ones are the ones I see most that want and never pay for them. Especially the "let me be your slave and make me do anything" kind of thing. As if it's an honour for the woman to make them do stuff.. you tip because YOU are getting the pleasure from it, and these guys are too dumb to understand that.. or they know it but try swap it around

 

[smoker919]

If she's typing away it probably means that she's streaming on multiple sites and not hiding the cam on the other sites during your private shows and continuing to conduct business there. It's very common and even policy in some studios to do this.

If you want to continue doing private shows with this model then it's worth either trying to find this out on your own or else asking her directly about her setup and how she conducts private shows.

 

[ts_cammer98]

Especially the "let me be your slave and make me do anything" kind of thing. As if it's an honour for the woman to make them do stuff..

lol sure would be nice. The guys that want to sub like that usually end up acting dom af towards me once the pvt starts, telling you what to tell them ect ect. Like hey even though I'm not a dom, you choose me and wanted this pvt. Even though I'm really not a dom, I don't think it actually goes this way lol but like whatever. Oh is my eyes looking at that damn corner again? sry lol

 

[ts_cammer98]

sry for the double but...

Something I don't think a lot of viewers realize is that a lot of us choose to do this. So most of us come from quite the background where things that are not normal to them are very normal to us. So yeah some of that super vanilla stuff or someone very vanilla trying to act more like us gets pretty boring lol

 

[Vixxen81]

sry for the double but...

Something I don't think a lot of viewers realize is that a lot of us choose to do this. So most of us come from quite the background where things that are not normal to them are very normal to us. So yeah some of that super vanilla stuff or someone very vanilla trying to act more like us gets pretty boring lol

I think they also forget they are most likely not the first person to say the thing they said and so when it doesn't get a reaction like they hoped they blame us, like we didn't get their little joke or whatever. No, I got it. It's just not funny or original. Like the guy who just quipped when I got a decent tip, "oh that's what makes you smile! Got it!"

Yes, getting paid makes models smile. Good job Inspector Gadget!

 

[m3lissa]

Feet and Slave ones are the ones I see most that want and never pay for them. Especially the "let me be your slave and make me do anything" kind of thing. As if it's an honour for the woman to make them do stuff.. you tip because YOU are getting the pleasure from it, and these guys are too dumb to understand that.. or they know it but try swap it around

lol sure would be nice. The guys that want to sub like that usually end up acting dom af towards me once the pvt starts, telling you what to tell them ect ect. Like hey even though I'm not a dom, you choose me and wanted this pvt. Even though I'm really not a dom, I don't think it actually goes this way lol but like whatever. Oh is my eyes looking at that damn corner again? sry lol

In my experience the "make me do anything" guys are some of the most difficult to handle, mostly because that's a fallacy 99% of the time. Even if they think they do want to "do anything" the reality is that they want you to ask them what they really want to do, and you should know what that is because you read minds or something(?).

For most it is a fantasy that doesn't have any relation to something that they've actually done in real life so they have no idea how a true D/s relationship works. So yes, a Dom should have the last word but also must know what buttons to press, right? There's a huge difference between being passive and being submissive.

I do prefer a "submissive" guy who tries to "top from the bottom" and tells me exactly what he wants to hear so I can function as a mirror and give them the fantasy they want.

Anyway, when I get one of those, I'd always ask them, anything? Let's start with something simple--tip me a 100.

 

[LilyLaughing]

I don’t get it, if it’s not exclusive, you don’t have the right to be asking for exclusive attention?

If this is on Streamate, even more so because for all you know, the other viewers are paying more than you are. If I misunderstood and you are paying exclusive and she is ignoring you, it’s a totally different matter. I have definitely been on the other end of 3 private clients at once all making different requests that would be impossible to perform at once and it is awkward af.

 

[MarieElise]

God, I don't mean to hurt feelings OP but you know what's on the bottom right - the clock!

On SM middle left is your cam to cam feed, but remember a lot of people reverse their feeds too, and flip the camera.
Bottom right is also where text notifications from your phone come up, if you are using phone link. And if they are monitoring family, I wouldn't judge them for that. ie some people have elderly relatives they need to stay in close contact with due to dementia, Alzheimer's, etc

For example ,my Mom helps my Grandma, and Grandma will call and text 50 times a day to say the same thing, but my Mom still has to monitor it and remain aware to be a responsible helper. Because one of those 50 could be a fall or a home intruder, or something serious.

 

[LilyLaughing]

Yeah that’s the other thing, I often stream with different monitors and arrange my browser windows different ways, this is reading too much into eye movements.

But seriously it doesn’t matter because you didn’t pay for exclusive and are complaining about not getting her undivided attention so it’s like …

 

[smoker919]

Yeah that’s the other thing, I often stream with different monitors and arrange my browser windows different ways, this is reading too much into eye movements.

But seriously it doesn’t matter because you didn’t pay for exclusive and are complaining about not getting her undivided attention so it’s like …

I'm going to disagree with this. If you're paying a fair rate and you've negotiated any extras, etc., then you 100% should have an expectation to receive a model's full attention during a private show. Exclusive or premium or whatever is about who can watch, not about who is an actor in, the private show. My experience is primarily with CB and SC so maybe there are different nuances on Streammate or another site.

But, as I said before, I know that some studios require models to keep their cams visible to the entire rooms on other sites while they're in private on one site and to continue to interact with viewers in those rooms. At that point it's buyer beware. Anyone doing a private show should know what they're getting into, i.e., how a model operates, and should definitely have a conversation to set expectations before starting a private show.

 

[LilyLaughing]

Exclusive or premium or whatever is about who can watch, not about who is an actor in

According to who?

I agree a model shouldn’t go back on what was promised in advance, but OP didn’t say that, just that it “seems like” he should get her undivided attention without paying the rate to ensure that expectation.

 

[Maxi]

There is no walk of professional life where reading a few messages on a phone or otherwise is not okay.

ETA: oops sorry, didn’t realise the category.

 

[smoker919]

According to who?

The support docs on CB, SC, and I'm sure other sites.

I agree a model shouldn’t go back on what was promised in advance, but OP didn’t say that, just that it “seems like” he should get her undivided attention without paying the rate to ensure that expectation.

it seems like she is reacting to other messages

it seems like she responds better to the other chatter than with me

What OP said is that it seems like she is reacting to and following the requests of other people in addition to his own.