Am I thinking logical or have I lost my mind?

[Shaun__]

Come on ! Do you remember how you did enter ACF? With lots of drama & emotions about a cam model.

ok ok, you did develop yourself in this area (and you are more stable then me, I did the stupid "delete old ACF account and come back with a stupid name account).

But really, I don't think you are the right person to deny others to have emotions about a cam model.

The saddest thing about that affair was that I was leaving her life when she stopped me and told me more lies. Then later on after I tried to leave again she did more stuff. Then last night I saw she had followed then unfollowed me on twitter. I learned so many things from that mess, and all of them were painful. When the same basic thing happened again I said fuck it, and never looked back. Sometimes when you trust people they will do those kind of things to you.

 

[HankDank]

Hmm. She's not even working today and has spent the last 30 minutes on IM trying to convince me it is real. And I kind of believe her. I still have my doubts about even if the emotions are real, how realistic is that it could go beyond that point.

it would be a big step to even consider meeting in person.

Now, that being said. Several years ago, I used to chat in Yahoo Chatrooms some. I started talking to this girl. We talked online for a couple of weeks, and spoke on the phone a good bit. We had cammed and all that jazz. She came to visit. The first night, we hooked up, but I already knew the sparks weren't there for me. Things were different now that we were in person. She wanted to stay another couple of nights, but I told her she couldn't due to my daughter coming back home from her mother's. So I sent her on her way and that was the end of our in person meeting and relationship haha. point being is that i've tried it before and it didn't work.. and this girl was only a couple states away.

 

[Alexandra Cole]

The only thing I'd add is that is that while, yes, cam girls are people too, capable of falling for any other person and prone to desires of fucking other people and all that jazz; it's evidently very easy for a member to develop feelings for a cam girl but, I would imagine, harder for a cam girl to do the same. And it's not that they're unable to feel real feelings, ya know?

Somebody put it perfectly on this here forum in another thread - "A member sees a beautiful, smart, sexy, independent woman; a cam girl sees words on a screen". It's much easier to fall for the former than it is the latter.
And it's not that it doesn't happen. It's just that for every one cam girl who has ever fallen tits deep in love with a member, there must be thousands, literally thousands of members who have had those same feelings for a cam girl.
It's not that the girl is incapable of feeling things for the member, it's just that it's far more likely the member has developed feeling that the model doesn't share. :twocents-02cents:

That's a good point, though I suppose, for this, I'm not really counting any proclamation of love, marriage, or baby-making while the cock's in hand. I tend to give erection-induced Tourettes a pass. But I definitely take your point.

And I don't doubt that it's less common. The onesidedness, like you said, makes it harder to get to know those usernames, and that's assuming a model is even open to it. There are plenty of good reasons to preserve the distance. In fact, there are plenty of good reasons to preserve the distance even when there is a reciprocal connection. Feelings can really complicate an otherwise straightforward experience.

I suppose the cynicism just makes me squeamish. It's common for people to assume that anything we say is a ploy to leverage money out of a man's wallet (thanks, Gizmodo), and there's something a bit sad knowing that if, on that rare occasion, a camgirl does connect with someone, her honesty will be treated with suspicion. And it's also a bit sad that a member would be ridiculed for believing her. I don't want to suggest that we should abandon all judgment or trust blindly. It would just be nice if there were more room for sincerity.

 

[Megaclit]

I however am of the mind set that if it doesn't fit under the 'No longer paying, she started it, it's been a long time coming' blanket, it's likely not real.

I think Jolene's words are very wise. I completely agree with this. Get the money stuff out of the way and look at it again. See how it changes.

 

[UncleThursday]

The other really big thing to remember in this type of situation (using "you" as a generic term of anyone going to another country to visit someone they met online): If you go to meet him/her, you're going to an entirely different country. If anything happens to you, there are good chances of you never getting home.

My situation, I was staying in the same country... granted the US is big, but it's all one country. If I had been hit by a car in Miami or something, my health insurance would have worked, my family could have been notified, my job, etc.

If I get hit by a car in Europe? If the US Consulate/Embassy isn't notified, well, I could be SOL. Even worse in Eastern Europe.

Now, in your case, she may really like you... online. But, when it comes to meeting face to face, things might change. That's what I feel happened to me. She was all into me, online. She was even the one who started talking to me. But once I got down there (well shortly before... maybe she got nervous or something), something changed in her.

I have a few cam girls that I can joke with about how we'd go clubbing and dance the night away, American and European... But I make no mistake: While they might even want to hang out from knowing me online and thinking I'm a fun person, things could very well change the moment we meet face to face. The old adage about plans only working until first contact with the enemy? It applies here, even if the person is not your enemy. People can be way more into each other until they meet face to face.

Even happened to me when meeting a local girl from OK Cupid. We were pretty well into each other talking online and in texts. But when we met, there was nothing there, for either of us. I'm meeting another one this Friday, but she also already knows one of my friends from years ago, so things might work out better in this case. We'll see. But there's every possibility of us just not hitting it off once we meet face to face. And she's only the second girl I'll have met from that site.

So, my advice for anyone travelling to another area (state/country) to meet someone from online? Bring extra money for any strip clubs. At least then, if you don't hit it off with the person you go to meet, you can at least still see some bewbs or cocks (depending on what you prefer). Hell, the most action I got on my trip was the hottest stripper in the club by my hotel deciding to shove her hands down my pants during a couch dance and give me a handjob (I decided to find a strip club on my last night in Miami and found one in walking distance from the hotel). It's not much, but it's better than nothing.

 

[camstory]

I however am of the mind set that if it doesn't fit under the 'No longer paying, she started it, it's been a long time coming' blanket, it's likely not real.

I think Jolene's words are very wise. I completely agree with this. Get the money stuff out of the way and look at it again. See how it changes.

I don't agree that the $ thing must be out of the way. I would not argue that it would serve to make things clearer in most cases. But there is a Model on this forum who I am 100%confident is a true friend, though $ has been, and continues to be, part of that relationship. It has not been a constant, which no doubt is part of my confidence, but even if it had been, I think I would still be sure. MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND BB's, as sad as that might be, I think a relationship void of $ is putting uncommon restraints on this dynamic in particular.

 

[FrenchKitty]

I however am of the mind set that if it doesn't fit under the 'No longer paying, she started it, it's been a long time coming' blanket, it's likely not real.

I think Jolene's words are very wise. I completely agree with this. Get the money stuff out of the way and look at it again. See how it changes.

I don't agree that the $ thing must be out of the way. I would not argue that it would serve to make things clearer in most cases. But there is a Model on this forum who I am 100%confident is a true friend, though $ has been, and continues to be, part of that relationship. It has not been a constant, which no doubt is part of my confidence, but even if it had been, I think I would still be sure. MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND BB's, as sad as that might be, I think a relationship void of $ is putting uncommon restraints on this dynamic in particular.

I agree to a certain extent.... The relationship started with money involved, so unless the model is very rich and the guy very poor, I don't know.... I don't mean I expect my boyfriend to give me money everyday or anything, but if I end up in money trouble, and can't pay a gaz bill, i'd be very shocked if he refused to help (if I know he's able to afford it). It goes the other way too though, if I was richer than my man and he couldn't pay a bill , I'd help.... I don't see it any differently than moral support when a relative dies, physical help when you get attacked , things like that.... when you're in a relationship, you help each other out, or am I too romantic?

 

[Poker_Babe]

I am of the opinion that no kind of sex (whether it be physical or cyber, blow job, hand job, or foot job :lol: ) is ever "FREE". Even if it's with a person who loves you, or is even in love with you. You're always paying, whether it's with your sugar baby, girlfriend, wife, a hooker or cam model.
And even if it's not so much sexual and more just enjoying her company chatting online. There is nothing wrong with paying for that either. Actually, it's only the right thing to do IMO... I mean she is a cam model, this is her job! If "whores" get compensated for their time, why would it be any different for "cam whores"? And just because we are compensated for our time and companionship, that doesn't mean we don't sincerely care for the guys who are paying for our services; or that we don't enjoy what we do. I mean look at psychiatrists for example... they get paid for listing to ppl's problems and helping them work threw them... don't they still sincerely care for their patients, and don't they love their work?!

 

[FrenchKitty]

I mean look at psychiatrists for example... they get paid for listing to ppl's problems and helping them work threw them... don't they still sincerely care for their patients, and don't they love their work?!

Actually, in psychoanalysis, paying is compulsory because it's the sign you're engaged and willing to commit. Some even ask for cash for this reason.......

 

[HankDank]

hmm seems like the answers are pretty much across the board.. it's real.. its not.. give tokens.. don't give tokens.. cam girls do not fall for members.. yes they do..

pretty much sums it for me.. thanks

 

[LadyLuna]

hmm seems like the answers are pretty much across the board.. it's real.. its not.. give tokens.. don't give tokens.. cam girls do not fall for members.. yes they do..

pretty much sums it for me.. thanks

:thumbleft:

People are complicated. The camgirl you are talking to is a person, so she's complicated. You are a person, so you are complicated. Everybody is different, so it's impossible for us to say what is really going on with someone else. Only the person in question knows what's really going on with him or her. The reason some are saying to take your money out of it, is because some girls, when the money stops flowing, will stop talking to the member in question at all. Personally, I just move the conversation to off-camsite locations if I actually care about them, and try not to talk to them too much while I'm working. The problem with this is that I am an introvert... I don't keep friends easily. It's not that I don't care about them, because I do! I just, can't do it. But every girl is different.

Relationships are complicated squared, because there are two people involved. Every single one is going to be different, be it a camgirl-member relationship or a friendship. And pretty much no one, not even the two people involved, can accurately predict how it will pan out.

This is why you can't really get a straight answer. We're all giving you answers based on our own experiences or the plays we've seen pan out on this forum, but the truth is that your case could be completely different, just as we've all seen differing ends to the different stories that have played out on here.

 

[camstory]

hmm seems like the answers are pretty much across the board.. it's real.. its not.. give tokens.. don't give tokens.. cam girls do not fall for members.. yes they do..

pretty much sums it for me.. thanks

:thumbleft:

People are complicated. The camgirl you are talking to is a person, so she's complicated. You are a person, so you are complicated. Everybody is different, so it's impossible for us to say what is really going on with someone else. Only the person in question knows what's really going on with him or her. The reason some are saying to take your money out of it, is because some girls, when the money stops flowing, will stop talking to the member in question at all. Personally, I just move the conversation to off-camsite locations if I actually care about them, and try not to talk to them too much while I'm working. The problem with this is that I am an introvert... I don't keep friends easily. It's not that I don't care about them, because I do! I just, can't do it. But every girl is different.

Relationships are complicated squared, because there are two people involved. Every single one is going to be different, be it a camgirl-member relationship or a friendship. And pretty much no one, not even the two people involved, can accurately predict how it will pan out.

This is why you can't really get a straight answer. We're all giving you answers based on our own experiences or the plays we've seen pan out on this forum, but the truth is that your case could be completely different, just as we've all seen differing ends to the different stories that have played out on here.

Can you tell I am a thank whore? Regardless I would be thanking many of these contradicting post, because, yes we are complex ppl, you are a complex person, and she is a complex person. Sorry Hank, there are no easy answers to this one.

I think there are some things that most have agreed on though. I think most would agree that what you put into it will determine what you get out of it.

Personally, I say go for it, invest yourself in it. What the result will be is anybody's guess. But even heartbreak is not the worst thing that can happen, (tho it may feel like it at the time), the worst thing that can happen is to not live life to its fullest, IMhO.

 

[bob]

hmm seems like the answers are pretty much across the board.. it's real.. its not.. give tokens.. don't give tokens.. cam girls do not fall for members.. yes they do..

pretty much sums it for me.. thanks

exactly :lol:
in the end, if this woman is important to you, and it feels real....trust your instincts :thumbleft:
there is no one path through the forest

 

[JickyJuly]

Whenever I ask if I'm being logical, I know somewhere in my little brain that I am, in fact, being illogical. Hehehe. But, if you're having fun, enjoy it. Once it stops being fun, get outta there. :twocents-02cents:

 

[UncleThursday]

hmm seems like the answers are pretty much across the board.. it's real.. its not.. give tokens.. don't give tokens.. cam girls do not fall for members.. yes they do..

pretty much sums it for me.. thanks

It could be any of them.

But, like I said, even if it is real... it's real online. Things could very well change the moment two people who have great fun online and like each other a lot from online meet in person.

So, one always has to be prepared for that.

 

[Jo_Bunny]

I don't think it is worth the risk, think about how expensive a relationship with her will be- with all her "needs" and possible travel cost. You have a daughter at home, that's expensive enough and you don't need the drama of her possibly scamming you. This "relationship" will end of costing you so much time, energy, money and brain cells- and you don't need that with a daughter at home. High chances are, you're not the only one falling in love with her. I can see this can be worth it if you marry her and raise a family, but what are the chances of that? Slim to none. My suggestion is create a profile on eHarmony or something. Yes, you're lonely, but fill that void by going on dates from people you find online. The right one will come along with time and patience.

 

[Jupiter551]

Come on ! Do you remember how you did enter ACF? With lots of drama & emotions about a cam model.

ok ok, you did develop yourself in this area (and you are more stable then me, I did the stupid "delete old ACF account and come back with a stupid name account).

But really, I don't think you are the right person to deny others to have emotions about a cam model.

The saddest thing about that affair was that I was leaving her life when she stopped me and told me more lies. Then later on after I tried to leave again she did more stuff. Then last night I saw she had followed then unfollowed me on twitter. I learned so many things from that mess, and all of them were painful. When the same basic thing happened again I said fuck it, and never looked back. Sometimes when you trust people they will do those kind of things to you.

are you referring to...shall we call her ummmm.... VioletSolarIVXX?

 

[Jupiter551]

I don't think it is worth the risk, think about how expensive a relationship with her will be- with all her "needs" and possible travel cost. You have a daughter at home, that's expensive enough and you don't need the drama of her possibly scamming you. This "relationship" will end of costing you so much time, energy, money and brain cells- and you don't need that with a daughter at home. High chances are, you're not the only one falling in love with her. I can see this can be worth it if you marry her and raise a family, but what are the chances of that? Slim to none. My suggestion is create a profile on eHarmony or something. Yes, you're lonely, but fill that void by going on dates from people you find online. The right one will come along with time and patience.

Never used e-harmony but I agree with your general statement - OkCupid is pretty neat, and free.

 

[HankDank]

Thanks for the responses. Alot has transpired over the past couple of days. I have not doubts now that it is real, but I don't think its real enough that it would ever go beyond the point of talking online. I don't know. I'm not holding out for it. I will continue to talk to her, but I'm thinking a little bit more rational now about the whole situation.

Not counting it out, but not throwing my eggs all in a basket either.

 

[bob]

Thanks for the responses. Alot has transpired over the past couple of days. I have not doubts now that it is real, but I don't think its real enough that it would ever go beyond the point of talking online. I don't know. I'm not holding out for it. I will continue to talk to her, but I'm thinking a little bit more rational now about the whole situation.

Not counting it out, but not throwing my eggs all in a basket either.

cool....
three months isn't even a basket yet, anyway :lol:
let it evolve
:twocents-02cents:

 

[Jupiter551]

I think it sucks people often seem to have the inability to enjoy the moment and let what happens happen without worrying about what might or might not happen later.

Do you enjoy her company? Yes? Good, go enjoy.

 

[fiver]

hmm seems like the answers are pretty much across the board.. it's real.. its not.. give tokens.. don't give tokens.. cam girls do not fall for members.. yes they do..

pretty much sums it for me.. thanks

I can settle one part. Give tokens.

Bitches love tokens.

 

[ComicOzzie]

hmm seems like the answers are pretty much across the board.. it's real.. its not.. give tokens.. don't give tokens.. cam girls do not fall for members.. yes they do..

pretty much sums it for me.. thanks

I can settle one part. Give tokens.

Bitches love tokens.

I bet they love being called bitches too. :roll:

 

[BobbyB]

I mean look at psychiatrists for example... they get paid for listing to ppl's problems and helping them work threw them... don't they still sincerely care for their patients, and don't they love their work?!

Actually, in psychoanalysis, paying is compulsory because it's the sign you're engaged and willing to commit. Some even ask for cash for this reason.......

The reason for cash payment is likely the IRS

 

[victor0021]

My two cents. I was in much the same situation as your, the only difference is the cam girl in question is in the US. We got to know each other on MFC but kind of connected on a real level. We started talking a lot outside MFC exchanging phone numbers, email and such. We exchanged christmas gifts and birthday gifts. She would text me a lot during the week about non MFC related stuff and we would talk on the phone or go on yahoo messenger and hang out. I never requested any of these things I always left it up to her. I would never ask her to go on yahoo instead of MFC she would just let me know she wouldn't work that night and ask if I wanted to hang out there. I never stopped tipping while on MFC and never asked for anything free, and she never asked for anything from me outside MFC.

After about 8 months she wanted to meet me. I had a hard time with this as usually I am really cynical about stuff and was worried it was some sort of scam. After a lot of going back and forth I decided to do it. I went out to meet her figuring it wouldn't work out, so I had back up plans. I found fun stuff to do in the area I could do on my own just in case it went bad. We ended up spending 4 days together and both had a great time. There is no chance it goes beyond this for either of us and we are both ok with it. We've decided to meet up twice a year for 3 or 4 day each time for as long as we both want to do it.

I've never adjusted my activity on MFC after this and think it would be unfair to her to do so. If I ever decide to stop doing MFC for some reason I would stop tipping her but as long as i'm on MFC and in her room I won't. We have our MFC time and our non MFC time and the 2 never really cross paths. I still see her on MFC a couple times a week and we still hang out on yahoo and talk on the phone a lot, and text back and forth pretty much daily.

Cam models are just regular girls that are making a living. It is possible to find one and have a deeper connection with one then just MFC. It takes a lot of trust and understanding to make it work on both sides but it is possible. I'm not saying you should rush over and meet her. I'm just saying if you like her and she wants to talk outside MFC, whats the harm. Take your time to get to know her on a real level. I think it's best to treat it as 2 separate things. When you are on MFC with her be a paying customer because she is there to work, and when it's outside MFC don't let yourself get scammed. If she starts asking for money outside your normal tips move on fast.

I think stuff like this is pretty rare, so I wouldn't go in expecting this and honestly if you told me a couple years ago this could happen I would have laughed at you and said it's obviously some sort of scam. Just tread carefully and don't give out your CC number or SS number and you'll be fine. Could you get hurt if it turns out not to be real sure, but honestly in any situation with someone of the opposite gender and feeling it's possible to get hurt.

 

[Zoomer]

Follow your heart - and if you decide to meet her - I'd simply advise not making that the entire trip. Sort the trip to travel around the country, visit places. Then the last 2,3 or 4 days whatever you can meet her in whatever city. That way you have a great holiday. That way if she "chickens out" (have heard it happen) you've had a great holiday, but also the experience to just finish up visiting the last city as you "know what to do" (you've been doing it the last week) and aren't wholly stranded or dependent upon her. Doing this you also both have something to do together if you do meet, and plenty to talk about as well... your trip

You should only go if you are comfortable with it - but I think you can mitigate most of the "risk" aspects by rolling it into a great holiday for yourself at the time. Make the reason to travel the holiday; make the meeting her at the end of it a big bonus

You live life but once, and whilst you should err on the side of caution, experiences are only gained through doing - not sitting back and thinking "what if". Money comes, money goes, experiences and memories last forever. Just don't do what those who have gone before and regretted have done. Go for the sole purpose of meeting the girl. That leads to butt hurt in the event things aren't perfect (cold feet or other issues which prevent it happening). Sticking it at the end of the holiday also doesn't (if it doesn't go to plan) cause misery while travelling around. Sticking it at the end ensures you don't try to prolong it - keep the experience short.If it's genuine, you or her can travel again next time for something much fuller

 

[camstory]

hmm seems like the answers are pretty much across the board.. it's real.. its not.. give tokens.. don't give tokens.. cam girls do not fall for members.. yes they do..

pretty much sums it for me.. thanks

I can settle one part. Give tokens.

Bitches love tokens.

I bet they love being called bitches too. :roll:

:laughing-rolling: :laughing-rolling: :laughing-rolling: Ozzie, he was just trying to do his best to be a guy :lol:

 

[Jupiter551]

Follow your heart - and if you decide to meet her - I'd simply advise not making that the entire trip.

Better yet, meet somewhere 'neutral' so you can have a vacation together, imo. I hear Malta is nice.

 

[HankDank]

Was just having a read through the fourm and decided to report back on this topic, since it does seem to be a common question about "falling for a model"

I was a skeptic from the beginning and much of this advice from this post made me more of a skeptic. It was a terrible mistake. Why is it that so many people on this board have bad opinions about Romanian models? I assumed the worse. Just because the model is Romanian does not mean she is a scam artist. Granted, there are scams and fakes without a doubt, but don't assume the worst until you know. I was wrong about her and it almost cost us our friendship.

I assumed she was lying to me, or not being completely honest. I was wrong. She was very honest with me.Every situation is different. I never intended to fall for this girl. I"m not the type to fap and fall in love . Many of these girls are just normal girls making extra money camming while finishing up school. My girl is an independent model. She works from home.. not a studio. My situation is also different, because I'm not so bad of catch. I'm nice looking.. in my 30's. I'm pretty fucking cool too. We connected. We are attracted to each other. We spend hours a day talking on Skype or yahoo. Not shows.. not for tokens.. but because we want to spend time with each other talking. I know her real name. number, facebook. We've stayed on the phone talking for hours. 8 hours one night. Its also her real facebook btw, not some fake page or model page. Family and friends are on it. Pictures with family and friends. Interaction with family and friends on it. So I know it is her real account. We spend hours talking on the phone, cam, or IM. Now, we have most of our interaction is off MFC.

The point of this post wasn't to draw fire from skeptics, but to offer up a little encouragement to those questioning their relationship with a certain mobel. Every sitation will be different. It depends on the model and the member I suppose.
I'm glad I questioned the situation, because now those doubts are behind me. No,MFC is not Eharmony, but many of those girls are good girls making extra money taking off their clothes on cam. That doesn't make them a criminal, a fake, or a scam artist. So do what feels right, but dont' be a dumb ass. Use your head and be sure that you have the facts correct before getting too involved. We are meeting next month in Europe. Both of use are paying our own way there. After meeting in person, we will decide where our relationship goes from there. I'll report back after our visit

I'm sure people will think this is B.S. and I don't really care if they do. You nver know until you try. Find out the facts before passing judgement. THats my biggest regret. She was being straight forward and honest with me the entire time, but I didn't believe her.I regret that the most.

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

well i've decided to put a stop to it. or least to the way i've been thinking. all a bit of a fairy tale now that i really think about it. way too many what if's. my first cam girl crush. the cherry has been popped wide open.

i asked her today about the studio. she told me she did work for a studio but is independent now. i pretty much told her i want to be her friend still and i wish her the best but i think its been a big fairy tale. she's stood her ground saying how much she really likes me and that her feelings are real. and maybe there are to an extent, but realistically its a bad idea to even consider.

to be quite frank, i'm not the must trusting person in the world anyways. if there is doubt, i tend to dwell on them. if anything, it's made me realize that i'm getting too soft.. time to put back on my game face and move along.

This is probably smart, and cold turkey is the way to kick the cam girl habit.

My favorite thread on the subject is how not to fall in love with a camgirl. http://www.ambercutie.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=28&t=9761
It helped me.

If you soften and decide to talk her. I'll throw a suggestion out there, with caveat that have no idea if it make sense. You need to separate the fantasy; hot young girl, in exotic country, that you know will drive you wild in bed, and says she cares for you, from reality. Before you go an meet her, I'd try a series of skype dates with some ground rules. No token exchange, no gifts nothing financial involved. No sex, no nudity, and if you can convince her to talk to you with no make up in a sweatshirt even better. The final rule is no discussion of camming, mfc, cam girls etc. With these ground rules if you actually find you guys can chat for hour(s) on skype and still care about each other,than at least you'll know it isn't just a physical attraction.

Edit,
I posted this without reading your latest report, your change of heart was quicker than expected. So you can disregard, most of what I was saying since you've already spent non-MFC time with her. My only other point is to make damn sure the attraction is more than sex.