Best way to ask for tip for PM without being rude?

[ava1992]

Hi everyone! Hope your day is going well.

I apologise if there are any duplicate threads about this topic. Also, I apologise if this is in the wrong section. I tried to put it in the category I thought was best.
Note: If this is something I need to wait to post about until I'm approved for "models only" I totally understand and will take it down.


*
I am somewhat new to camming, but have experience as an exotic dancer and nude model.
I really enjoy camming so far. I am so grateful for all the info available here!

My question to experienced cam models is, what is the best way to ask for tips for PM's during chat without seeming rude or dismissive? Am I doing the right thing?

My tip menu is 18 tokens per PM, unless they are in my fan club.

The reason I do this is because my chat gets busy sometimes,
and it's hard to keep up with the PM.

This is partially on me, I have a short attention span and don't really have a "way with words."
I would rather talk than type.

I got two thumbs down recently with no feedback.
I think they might be because I tell guests who ask for a PM that it's on my tip menu.
Note: these are guests with tokens, I have grey chat turned off.

Sometimes guests (not in my fan club, and not regulars) come by and say "PM me" and tip one token, or do not tip at all first. I don't PM them. My reply is usually :

"Hi! How are you? Thank you for stopping by. PM is on my tip menu! Looking forward to chatting more ."

I used to PM all who asked my first few broadcasts. Sadly, my PM would get so overwhelmed it was hard to focus on the chat, especially when it got busy. I found it
took up -a lot- of my time, so I added it to my tip menu.

Most guests don't have a problem with it and are very understanding.

They usually either leave, or tip then we PM.

But a few thought that was a rude and dismissive response.
My question is - is it,? And if so, what is a better way to let them know (without lowering my price.) ?

The last thing I want to do is come across as dismissive or rude. I really care about my viewers and want to do the right thing.

Thanks so much!

xoxo,

Pearls/
PrettyArtist1992

 

[ForumPoster]

Sounds like you know what you're doing. You set the value for your time. I think PM do distract since you have to type back instead of talking.

So if they want your time they pay as you decide.

Nothing you said seemed rude or unreasonable.

 

[Nigerian Prince]

My honest advice is don't be nice about it, and raise your PM price. If someone asks for a PM just say you have the price on your menu, and leave it at that. In my experience, people who don't tip for PM's but ask for them are just there to waste your time.

 

[ava1992]

Hi ForumPoster,

Thank you so much for your reply! And hope your day is going well!!

I appreciate that. I am still getting my bearings with camming so just want to make sure I'm doing everything right.

Best,
Pearls/
PrettyArtist1992

 

[ava1992]

My honest advice is don't be nice about it, and raise your PM price. If someone asks for a PM just say you have the price on your menu, and leave it at that.

Hi Nigerian Prince,

Thank you so much! That's refreshing to hear I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being rude by saying that. I was surprised that some guests were "put off" by it. I care a lot
about my audience and if I was doing something wrong, I would want to fix it.

Best,
Pearls/PrettyArtist1992

 

[ava1992]

Also, hope your day is going well and good vibes to all!

 

[Smoothie]

My reply is usually :

"Hi! How are you? Thank you for stopping by. PM is on my tip menu! Looking forward to chatting more ."

Not only is that a polite response to a PM request, it might be the friendliest response I’ve ever seen. It’s the total opposite of rude. You’re doing fine.

You could even keep it short and simple. “Hi [user], PM is 18tk” ... nothing rude about that either, especially if it is already made clear by your tip menu.

Good luck!

 

[ava1992]

Hi Smoothie,

Happy Birthday! !! Hope you have an amazing day!!

Thank you so much, that means a lot! I want to make sure my audience has a great experience, so I try to be mindful of how I respond to everyone.

Best,
Pearls/PrettyArtist1992

 

[Deleted member 37064]

As a member, I've come to expect most models have some kind of price for PM. I'm not as familiar with CB, since it's been years since I've been on there. But, on MFC, models can take advantage of friend's lists and block anyone not on there from PM'ing them. Being added to a model's friend's list can be anything from 50 tokens to 500 depending on the model, higher ranked models are usually on the higher end. Some models have added members due to activity and personality without tipping for it.

They usually also have this as a whiteboard, profile or topic item. It's not rude to politely say that you prefer chat to occur in the room, and you limit PM's because they distract you from the room.

I utilize a similar method as a member. I only allow friends and models I've bookmarked or friended to PM me. I've had too many models send me PMs for tokens, or try and get me to come to their room whom I've never interacte with. Or, maybe was in their room once.

 

[ava1992]

Hi ForceTen,

Thank you for you reply I hope your day is going well!

I appreciate your perspective as a member! It means a lot, as I want to create a great show !

I think I am going to add the PM thing into my room topic next time I'm on

Also, I think the "friend only" PM makes a lot of sense on both ends and can help keep things organized.

I am sorry some people do that! I think begging for tokens/going to other
model's chats to PM members is definitely not good behavior for models. If anything, it is counter-productive and hurts the mood.
It is the online equivalent of going up to a customer while another dancer is dancing for them.

Best,

Pearls/PrettyArtist1992

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I'm doing well, thanks. Hope you are well, and your day is good so far.

I'm not sure what CB offers for PM's, as it's been too many years and the couple of models I visited had it setup where only members with tokens could chat and had to tip to request PM. I don't think they offer friends lists, which is something I hear about CB frequently. Some models like the idea, others not since they don't want to do the social aspect of a room.

Great analogy too about dancers. I've had that happen a couple of times in years past. Actually, it's been forever since I've been to a club... Kind of missing that.

 

[DoD404]

Note that it exists a bot who recognizes the user's requests and answers automatically with the menu entry and the price : " The Menu " so that you'll not feel responsible of the answer xD

Edit : you don't have to display a "friend only pm price".. just open pm when you want to tallk to a friend or when you judge he tipped far enough, it's your room ^-^
(you don't have to show everybody who is friend and who is not)
- last edit (but i don't delete) : I just misunderstood the reference to mfc , that's obvious haha -
Also mfc and CB are far different on this point. OP's way to manage it in CB is the good one

 

[ava1992]

I'm doing well, thanks. Hope you are well, and your day is good so far.

I'm not sure what CB offers for PM's, as it's been too many years and the couple of models I visited had it setup where only members with tokens could chat and had to tip to request PM. I don't think they offer friends lists, which is something I hear about CB frequently. Some models like the idea, others not since they don't want to do the social aspect of a room.

Great analogy too about dancers. I've had that happen a couple of times in years past. Actually, it's been forever since I've been to a club... Kind of missing that.

Thank you so much, ForceTen!

My day is going well. Glad to hear yours is, too.

I am taking today to really research camming, as I want to make sure I am doing everything right.
This site has been so helpful and I'm so glad I found it!

What everyone I've seen doing on here is have a tip menu and then they decide how much to charge.
I have my chat so that "dark blue names" and up (users that have tokens and have tipped a significant amount to models)
can talk, but I am thinking of switching it to tips only.

(Also....if any models
have any suggestions on that feel free to let me know what works best!) I want to get verified for "models only" if accepted!

I love a social room as long as I can keep up with it, lol! I am better at talking than typing, so I usually try
to limit PM. I take forever to think about what to say. I like to make sure what I'm saying sounds right haha.

It's definitely a transition going online! There are a lot of similarities to dancing, but camming is definitely more fast paced. Both involve
keeping a group engaged, performing to an audience, social skills, charisma, and reading a room (or chat room.)

I still have my 4:00 AM snacks after work lol, but they somehow don't taste the same. Missing the clubs too!

Best,
Pearls/PrettyArtist1992

 

[ava1992]

Note that it exists a bot who recognizes the user's requests and answers automatically with the menu entry and the price : " The Menu " so that you'll not feel responsible of the answer xD

Edit : you don't have to display a "friend only pm price".. just open pm when you want to tallk to a friend or when you judge he tipped far enough, it's your room ^-^
(you don't have to show everybody who is friend and who is not)
- last edit (but i don't delete) : I just misunderstood the reference to mfc , that's obvious haha -
Also mfc and CB are far different on this point. OP's way to manage it in CB is the good one

Hi DoD404,

Thank you so much! I am still learning how everything works, so I appreciate your reply. Hope your day is going well!!

I like that bot and will check it out! I currently use the "All In One Bot" that has a tip menu built in. Is it similar?

Best,
Pearls/PrettyArtist1992

 

[DoD404]

I have my chat so that "dark blue names" (users that have tokens and have tipped a significant amount to models)
can talk, but I am thinking of switching it to tips only.

I think that you're confusing a bit. You can not allow "dark blue names" but :
- Only the blue profiles (any blue color even if they didn't tip any token in years) <= this is the most common to use
- Only those who tipped you today in your room, or in last days <= this can make a sadly silent room if you have too few users

And also as some broadcaster visit rooms to peach your viewers :
- block broadcasters
- block broadcasters who are currently broadcasting

I like that bot and will check it out! I currently use the "All In One Bot" that has a tip menu built in. Is it similar?

Yes it reacts the same plus the auto-response. You can use it to try (and unselect menu in "All In One Bot")

 

[ava1992]

I think that you're confusing a bit. You can not allow "dark blue names" but :
- Only the blue profiles (any blue color even if they didn't tip any token in years) <= this is the most common to use
- Only those who tipped you today in your room, or in last days <= this can make a sadly silent room if you have too few users

And also as some broadcaster visit rooms to peach your viewers :
- block broadcasters
- block broadcasters who are currently broadcasting


Yes it reacts the same plus the auto-response. You can use it to try (and unselect menu in "All In One Bot")

Thank you so much! I will give it a try. I appreciate everything a lot, this has been helpful!!

Sorry for any confusion lol.. I think my settings are the first one you described. Dark blue and up can talk but they don't have to have tipped me to talk.
It is hard for me to remember the colors and which is which,
but I know dark purple is those that have tipped the most, green is fan club, and light blue is the least. Still getting the hang of it

The second part is helpful as well! I haven't had that happen yet thankfully, but I may change my settings to include that. I do get a lot of requests from broadcasters
for cam watching, not all of whom intend on tipping lol.

Best,
Pearls/PrettyArtist1992

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Thank you so much, ForceTen!

My day is going well. Glad to hear yours is, too.

I am taking today to really research camming, as I want to make sure I am doing everything right.
This site has been so helpful and I'm so glad I found it!

What everyone I've seen doing on here is have a tip menu and then they decide how much to charge.
I have my chat so that "dark blue names" and up (users that have tokens and have tipped a significant amount to models)
can talk, but I am thinking of switching it to tips only.

(Also....if any models
have any suggestions on that feel free to let me know what works best!) I want to get verified for "models only" if accepted!

I love a social room as long as I can keep up with it, lol! I am better at talking than typing, so I usually try
to limit PM. I take forever to think about what to say. I like to make sure what I'm saying sounds right haha.

It's definitely a transition going online! There are a lot of similarities to dancing, but camming is definitely more fast paced. Both involve
keeping a group engaged, performing to an audience, social skills, charisma, and reading a room (or chat room.)

I still have my 4:00 AM snacks after work lol, but they somehow don't taste the same. Missing the clubs too!

Best,
Pearls/PrettyArtist1992

I think you're doing things right. Research, learn, and apply what makes sense. It's a never ending cycle but you learn over time what works best for you. And I don't see why you wouldn't be accepted to the models only area so long as you're a broadcaster, active and respectful like so many other models.

I prefer social rooms myself, and most models I visit talk in the room instead of PM. Those who do PM more usually don't know English that well, so they type.

Wishing you all the best, and success!

 

[ava1992]

Thank you so much, ForceTen!

I prefer social rooms as well when I am visiting cams. It's so much fun to hear a model enjoying themselves and having a good time. I try to always think of that, and bring positive energy to my cam.

You too! ! *good vibes*

Best,
Pearls/PrettyArtist1992

 

[DoD404]

I do get a lot of requests from broadcasters

Are they males broadcasters ?
-Trans profiles who visit like this are mainly women or spamming bots, transforming their profile as trans to enter model's room (another way to eject spammers being to simply block women) These ones generally spam for other sites and also remain grey.
-Many males figure that you can be interested in a free cam to cam session xD -
-If women, it's surely addressed to your viewers and not to you.

Anyway, don't hesitate to simply kick/ban them, some push the vice to pay to register as supporters to be able to PM directly your viewers...
Very few of them would tip and can be nice, but you'll never see them speaking in chat like this, 'cause it is rude.
(except though some very new models, but they will learn in few hours... with your help when you kick her ^^)

 

[Beawaresweety]

@prettyartist1992,
you're so sweet
even in your responses
in this thread.
Maybe it's because you're new
or because it's simply a part
of your personality.

Being sweet is helpful
in any business.
Just make sure
that members aren't
1. taking advantage of your niceness.
2. spoiling your mood
and the whole vibe of your room.

I know it's hard
but you gotta learn
how to not let some people's
shitty behavior affect your mood
and your business.

I usually let people know
that my PM costs X tokens
or send them to read my bio
if I'm being busy
(my prices are listed there).

If they don't want to tip,
they may come off as rude.
It's an instant ban.
No regrets,
no second thoughts,
no impact on me.
Even if they had an intention
to tip me (as they're claiming)
and my friendly reminder
about tipping put them off,
good for me.
I don't want to deal with people
who refuse to understand
the basics of this business.
They probably
will annoy the fuck out of me
even if they tip.
Not worth it.

Try to not care
about someone's feelings
when they obviously
don't care about yours
(unwillinglness
to spend one minute
on reading your tip menu
or unwillingness to pay).
Those people aren't
your audience.

Only gift members
who are worth
your time and energy,
with your sweetness.
Or you'll burn out really quickly.

Good luck in camming

 

[diasysmith101]

That is very polite. I used to say it that way but then they just keep nagging, so now I have a bot that automatically replies with my tip menu and I ignore them otherwise.

 

[ava1992]

@prettyartist1992,
you're so sweet
even in your responses
in this thread.
Maybe it's because you're new
or because it's simply a part
of your personality.

Being sweet is helpful
in any business.
Just make sure
that members aren't
1. taking advantage of your niceness.
2. spoiling your mood
and the whole vibe of your room.

I know it's hard
but you gotta learn
how to not let some people's
shitty behavior affect your mood
and your business.

I usually let people know
that my PM costs X tokens
or send them to read my bio
if I'm being busy
(my prices are listed there).

If they don't want to tip,
they may come off as rude.
It's an instant ban.
No regrets,
no second thoughts,
no impact on me.
Even if they had an intention
to tip me (as they're claiming)
and my friendly reminder
about tipping put them off,
good for me.
I don't want to deal with people
who refuse to understand
the basics of this business.
They probably
will annoy the fuck out of me
even if they tip.
Not worth it.

Try to not care
about someone's feelings
when they obviously
don't care about yours
(unwillinglness
to spend one minute
on reading your tip menu
or unwillingness to pay).
Those people aren't
your audience.

Only gift members
who are worth
your time and energy,
with your sweetness.
Or you'll burn out really quickly.

Good luck in camming ❤

Hi Beawaresweety,

Nice to meet you & hope your day is going well !

Thank you so much for your reply! This helped me with getting some perspective on the situation. I am still new and it is much appreciated .

Preventing burnout is so important! I'm glad you mentioned this. I felt like keeping up with the PM's the entire chat could lead
to burnout if it got any busier. I like to relax and enjoy my time on cam, and I noticed it was a lot easier to follow the chat
once there were fewer PM's.

I am more used to chatting individually than in a group and am still adjusting to the chat room format tbh.

I try to always be kind and have empathy, while maintaining my boundaries. Everything you said really resonates with me and helped me feel better. Thank you so much!!

Sadly, I got two thumbs down recently on the same day. I am just trying to figure out why, they didn't leave any constructive feedback.
I think it was the tokens for PM thing. But I think anyone seeing my page would hopefully understand and see that most of my reviews are good.

I am surprised some guests don't get that this is our job. I like camming and it's fun, but it's not a hobby. I'm there for financial reasons above all.

I have been trying to think of it in comparison to a coffee shop. It helps me feel better about setting my boundaries in the chat.

It's not like they would go to a coffee shop and pay 5 cents when the coffee is $1, then demand a coffee anyway.

Nor would they go to a coffee shop and expect that complimenting the cashier will get them a free coffee.

Or ask questions/complain about the coffee all day long without ever buying.

Or say they got there at the right time when another guy buys a coffee, and ask him for a sip ..... and if he can add more sugar?

All of that would get them kicked out!!

So why do they do similar things online?? lol



Still, I'm working on not letting it get to me. At the end of the day, I am so grateful for this job. Every field has it's ups and downs, so I know
it's not personal when those type of guests come in.

Best,
Pearls/PrettyArtist1992

 

[ava1992]

Are they males broadcasters ?
-Trans profiles who visit like this are mainly women or spamming bots, transforming their profile as trans to enter model's room (another way to eject spammers being to simply block women) These ones generally spam for other sites and also remain grey.
-Many males figure that you can be interested in a free cam to cam session xD -
-If women, it's surely addressed to your viewers and not to you.

Anyway, don't hesitate to simply kick/ban them, some push the vice to pay to register as supporters to be able to PM directly your viewers...
Very few of them would tip and can be nice, but you'll never see them speaking in chat like this, 'cause it is rude.
(except though some very new models, but they will learn in few hours... with your help when you kick her ^^)

Hi DoD404,

Yes, they are all male broadcasters. I usually just tell them it's on the tip menu, then either they tip or leave. I don't mind watching if they tip,
it's always fun to see other rooms!

I have not really had many women come to my chat, yet. I didn't even know that was a thing, so I will look out for it. Thank you so much, this was helpful!

Best,
Pearls/PrettyArtist1992

 

[ava1992]

That is very polite. I used to say it that way but then they just keep nagging, so now I have a bot that automatically replies with my tip menu and I ignore them otherwise.

Hi diasysmith101,

Nice to meet you! Hope your day is going well !

Thank you so much! I am still new to camming so it is much appreciated.

I just wanted to make sure I was doing everything right.
I use the "all in one" bot and just added a message reminding guests that PM's are on the tip menu.

Best,
Pearls/PrettyArtist1992

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Sadly, I got two thumbs down recently on the same day. I am just trying to figure out why, they didn't leave any constructive feedback.

I wouldn't worry about it. It's unrealistic to think you can please everyone all the time. No matter what, you will always have people leaving negative remarks. Just focus on making it the best you can, which it sounds like you're doing.

 

[ava1992]

Thank you, ForceTen!

 

[lovelylaura]

@prettyartist1992,
you're so sweet
even in your responses
in this thread.
Maybe it's because you're new
or because it's simply a part
of your personality.

Being sweet is helpful
in any business.
Just make sure
that members aren't
1. taking advantage of your niceness.
2. spoiling your mood
and the whole vibe of your room.

I know it's hard
but you gotta learn
how to not let some people's
shitty behavior affect your mood
and your business.

I usually let people know
that my PM costs X tokens
or send them to read my bio
if I'm being busy
(my prices are listed there).

If they don't want to tip,
they may come off as rude.
It's an instant ban.
No regrets,
no second thoughts,
no impact on me.
Even if they had an intention
to tip me (as they're claiming)
and my friendly reminder
about tipping put them off,
good for me.
I don't want to deal with people
who refuse to understand
the basics of this business.
They probably
will annoy the fuck out of me
even if they tip.
Not worth it.

Try to not care
about someone's feelings
when they obviously
don't care about yours
(unwillinglness
to spend one minute
on reading your tip menu
or unwillingness to pay).
Those people aren't
your audience.

Only gift members
who are worth
your time and energy,
with your sweetness.
Or you'll burn out really quickly.

Good luck in camming ❤

Well said. Most users I find on CB do not read bio or room rules. rule number one in my bio is no PM. And within the first half hour I am on I get at least 2 users who pm me without tipping. It annoys me and I am not nice about it. If they can’t take 2 minutes to read my room rules and follow them, I don’t want their business.

 

[lovelylaura]

I have also gotten thumbs down on CB I believe was related to PM request. I use to charge 30 tks for PM. However, I noticed that some users who did pay for PM expected you to keep pm ing, them for long periods of time without further tips. They wanted a whole drawn out private conversation while you were in the public chat. Then when I said PM was only for a few replies they’d get upset and rate down. These users had unrealistic expectations for public chat. I now say you have to go private if you want a private conversation. Firm boundaries are a must, or like previous post said you will burn out. So many try to take advantage.

 

[ava1992]

Hi Lovelylaura,

Thank you so much for your reply & very nice to meet you! Hope you are having a great day

It would annoy me as well! I put my rules in my bio and I have noticed the same, a lot of people don't read them. I wonder why? If visiting another chat, I try to always be considerate and read/follow their rules.

Best,
Pearls/PrettyArtist1992

 

[ava1992]

I have also gotten thumbs down on CB I believe was related to PM request. I use to charge 30 tks for PM. However, I noticed that some users who did pay for PM expected you to keep pm ing, them for long periods of time without further tips. They wanted a whole drawn out private conversation while you were in the public chat. Then when I said PM was only for a few replies they’d get upset and rate down. These users had unrealistic expectations for public chat. I now say you have to go private if you want a private conversation. Firm boundaries are a must, or like previous post said you will burn out. So many try to take advantage.

Hi Lovelylaura,

Thank you!! I am so sorry that happened to you. Some guests can definitely be challenging.

Upon reflecting back, I think this may have possibly been what happened to me.
Sometimes I don't always see their PM right away, and then by the time I notice it is there and answer they have left.

I prefer private for longer conversations too, because it is so much easier to keep up. Maybe I should specify more
that it is per PM in the public chat and long conversations are preferred in private.

I have seen a lot of that happening so far, so I'm working on being polite...but also firm when they try.
I'm trying my best to show that I value the audience, but I also value & respect myself.

Best,
Pearls/PrettyArtist1992