At my age, I have seen and heard a lot. Girls/women tear themselves down constantly, and even the ones I have met that appear to be totally fine with themselves will confess their insecurities at some point. I think we all have them, and then more and deeper from all of the hate and abuse we experience along the way in life. Some of us will realize that we are our own worst critics, and that most people never give our self-perceived "flaws" a first glance. I just wish ALL women would support one another, and avoid hurting one another, especially with bashing and shaming and such. I LOVE all the little differences we each have!!!
IMO, the greatest beauty any person can possess is their attitude. Despite what I am about to write below, I will go out into the world and try to infect people with my smile
I have made some pretty grumpy people smile over the years, and it feels REALLY good to have that affect on another person. I think my core Self is pretty damn beautiful
A bit too unfiltered for some though, HahHAha!!!
@DaniellaBlaze: First, big huggs! I know what you mean about something that you CANNOT change, ever. Especially when it limits what you can do that others just do without a thought, and it causes you to look different from others. Of all the posts in this thread, yours stood out to me, because you seem to be projecting a positive attitude despite having to deal with it. Every day. I deal with being a paraplegic every day, knowing it will NEVER change. It is not the same as what you have had to deal with, but I can empathize with some of how it can feel. I love your bravery, I love your attitude!! Please keep that, because, combined with your strength, I truly believe you will constantly and consistently find yourself surrounded with friends that will love you for your beauty and strength, and they will be there when you hit those moments in life when you just do not have the energy for that strength and that smile. (I hope I expressed that properly... I hesitated to comment, but you made me smile so big I could not resist
)
My insecurities are pretty numerous and deep. It is all exacerbated by several years of serious abuse from my Mom's second husband (through age 15, until I finally ran away from home), bullying at school, etc. Add in a rape by a friend of a friend at a party, and a "abduct-rape" one night, and self-blame (and more) can begin destroying further. I was finally at a point in my life when I was feeling decently enough about myself, when I finally decided to not care what others thought, and to move forward and leave my past behind, and boom! I get hit by a car, and my world was destroyed. In a way, I died that day (pretty close too, coma for 6 days). And it felt like things just progressively worsened once I got out of rehab and began recovering further at home. I was making tons of money, had tons saved, and in that one moment, it all disappeared. No health insurance.
I have a huge forehead, likely from my Welsh ancestry. I saw someone else call it a "fivehead" hahAha! Yeah, good way to put it. I have joked that people could use it at a drive-in to show movies on. Some of my features I have described as being "in between"; not all cute like many girls seem to have, but not all bulky/large like a guy has either. I got my Mom's hairline too, but so far not losing patches like she has (knock wood). But, it is not that cute hairline most girls seem to have, all wispy and cute. I got my Mom's teeth too, and got picked on for my front teeth in school, 'cause they look like Chicklets gum. I am 5' 8", so slightly taller than average, but not too tall. But, tall enough to stand out, and that makes me more self-conscious. Being in a wheelchair might seem to make that go away, but I feel like I look larger than other girls in wheelchairs.
And the damage from the accident... wow... I see all the girls on here, and then look at their Twitter feeds, MFC profiles, etc... wow... Even though I have been told I do not look my age (will be 50 in a few days), I see the effects of aging. The gray in my hair is not too bad yet, and the blonde helps to mask it a bit. I only get a stray gray in my eyebrows now and then, and no idea if there is any gray below; last time it was long enough to check was after the accident while recovering. But all of that pales when I see myself in a mirror now. My right side was damaged badly. Most of it is crooked now; my right hip is pushed in slightly, and sits up higher. My right hand was put back on nicely, but it is crooked as well, and cannot move as well as it used to. I get muscle spasms galore. I gained almost 90lbs while I was in years of depression. While I only have about 20lbs of that left to lose, the lack of abdominal muscles means my belly has ballooned out (some call it "quad belly"), while below that everything has atrophied. I lowered my anti-spasm meds so that my legs would move more, and it has allowed them to tone out quite a bit. No butt muscles at all though, so it is just... soup. Somehow my hips are still 41" though, HAhHA. I do not know how well I will handle the negative comments and such once I start camming, but I have to give it a try. I cannot just survive, I have to live. And retaining the ability to still feel a good part of sexual/sensual experience (orgasms galore, and sensual expression... mmmm!!!)... well, some people paint, some play piano, some sculpt. For me it seems my calling is in the sexual and sensual arts.
Girls, you are all so beautiful!!! Embrace your differences. Embrace your Selfs. Big huggs for all, and big smiles too!!!
