Death & The Internet

[Vixxen81]

Do you have a plan in place to let your internet friends know you've crossed over to the other side? If so, what is it?

Sorry for the morbidity, but a friend just told a few of us it's his time to go (end stage liver disease). It hurts in a weird way.

 

[Wuggie]

I have not, but I should probably add it to my "death message system"

I have a system that if I do not put in a code with 14 days intervals, it will send out a automated message to different people, but I haven't added my internet friends to this, but only things for.. other things lets call it that..
but it's a good idea to add maybe a bit more "personal" things into it nowadays..

other than that, I'm sorry to hear about your friend, it's never a good time losing a friend to anything, online or not..

 

[cbhours]

Do you have a plan in place to let your internet friends know you've crossed over to the other side? If so, what is it?

Sorry for the morbidity, but a friend just told a few of us it's his time to go (end stage liver disease). It hurts in a weird way.

I have emergency access setup with one of those passwork managers so a trusted contact can have all the logins and passwords for all my accounts if I die. It works like a request from the emergency contact and if I dont respond to it in 7 days or something like that its automatically approved because it assumes im dead.

 

[Highlander884]

I haven't but feel like I should let a couple of people know that I've gone. Certainly a couple of the ladies so that they don't think I got bored.

 

[Smoothie]

Do you have a plan in place to let your internet friends know you've crossed over to the other side? If so, what is it?

Sorry for the morbidity, but a friend just told a few of us it's his time to go (end stage liver disease). It hurts in a weird way.

Very sorry about your friend.

I actually have no plan at all, and never really thought about it. And since I don’t live where I grew up, or where I went to college, many of my IRL friends are also basically “internet friends” at this point, so that term covers a lot of folks for me.

I’m sure word would spread to the closest friends as soon as my next of kin got notified, but yeah, I probably ought to figure something out for the rest of my people.

 

[EasternPromis]

I haven’t had any plan in place but I had health emergency with massive bleeding and while in ER I just wrote in iPhone note for my husband with all the important banking and accounts/passwords info, although he knows my phone password and this way he would access everything I assume.

Still alive and not yet have better plan.

 

[Vixxen81]

Very sorry about your friend.

I actually have no plan at all, and never really thought about it. And since I don’t live where I grew up, or where I went to college, many of my IRL friends are also basically “internet friends” at this point, so that term covers a lot of folks for me.

I’m sure word would spread to the closest friends as soon as my next of kin got notified, but yeah, I probably ought to figure something out for the rest of my people.

One would think word would spread. When my sister's best friend* in the entire world died on a holiday she wasn't told about it and the guy who found her was sleeping with my sister at the time. Everything was ruled above board, she was cremated and a small ceremony held at her mom's house.

I was also friends with this friend of my sister's (this sounds like such bullshit but I swear it's true [friend of a friend of a friend/my Canadian girlfriend]). I hadn't heard from her since Christmas Eve so I shot off an email and in my epic Leo-ness simply said, "are you dead?" This was around February the next year, HER sister replied that she was in fact dead, had died on Christmas day. Called my sister who called the medical examiner who walked her through the findings of the autopsy.

*She was in some pretty deep trouble from defrauding her company out of a lot of money with a fake cancer diagnosis. Death was ruled inconclusive. All drug/alcohol levels were therapeutic and overdose was ruled out.

 

[Ozzie_]

One would think word would spread. When my sister's best friend* in the entire world died on a holiday she wasn't told about it and the guy who found her was sleeping with my sister at the time. Everything was ruled above board, she was cremated and a small ceremony held at her mom's house.

Hold on...am I following this correctly? The guy who was sleeping with your sister, found her best friend dead, but didn't tell her?

I guess it is something that those of us with networks of internet friends should certainly look into putting something in place.

 

[Vixxen81]

Hold on...am I following this correctly? The guy who was sleeping with your sister, found her best friend dead, but didn't tell her?

I guess it is something that those of us with networks of internet friends should certainly look into putting something in place.

Correct. It's a sordid tale that I could turn into a billion dollar franchise if I ever felt like writing it all out in a narrative. The guy was BFF's neighbor. My sister took a shine, they started sleeping together, then my sister got clingy so he basically stopped calling her. There's a small chance it was assisted suicide as they don't screen for propofol in autopsies and he was a nurse at the local hospital. He got "suspicious" when she hadn't left to do something she said she was going to do the next day.

 

[Smoothie]

One would think word would spread. When my sister's best friend* in the entire world died on a holiday she wasn't told about it and the guy who found her was sleeping with my sister at the time. Everything was ruled above board, she was cremated and a small ceremony held at her mom's house.

I was also friends with this friend of my sister's (this sounds like such bullshit but I swear it's true [friend of a friend of a friend/my Canadian girlfriend]). I hadn't heard from her since Christmas Eve so I shot off an email and in my epic Leo-ness simply said, "are you dead?" This was around February the next year, HER sister replied that she was in fact dead, had died on Christmas day. Called my sister who called the medical examiner who walked her through the findings of the autopsy.

*She was in some pretty deep trouble from defrauding her company out of a lot of money with a fake cancer diagnosis. Death was ruled inconclusive. All drug/alcohol levels were therapeutic and overdose was ruled out.

That is wild. Wow.

On the topic of internet friends, I guess the other wrinkle is my next of kin wouldn’t necessarily even know where to begin. I guess they could figure out where I spent time online once they got my passwords and such, but I’m not sure they would go the extra mile and start posting at/emailing my usual places about my demise.

In the cam site space specifically - I’m guessing my next of kin would probably act like they never saw that portion of my internet history and move on without contacting anyone. Mostly to save themselves from making the awkward introduction.

 

[Vixxen81]

That is wild. Wow.

On the topic of internet friends, I guess the other wrinkle is my next of kin wouldn’t necessarily even know where to begin. I guess they could figure out where I spent time online once they got my passwords and such, but I’m not sure they would go the extra mile and start posting at/emailing my usual places about my demise.

In the cam site space specifically - I’m guessing my next of kin would probably act like they never saw that portion of my internet history and move on without contacting anyone. Mostly to save themselves from making the awkward introduction.

Yeah I thought about -- the "ohnoes adult site" push it under the rug thing. The same as "delete my internet history". I guess for me I'm like that's silly. I couldn't care less what someone thinks about me after I'm dead.

 

[CheeseMoon]

Good thread with a subject I think a lot of people aren't necessarily thinking about so much. I have already set this up on the main, personal Gmail account I've had for 15+ years and the address "everyone" knows about. It's a fairly simple process technically speaking, but it's an odd feeling to prepare things for when you're dead. It's found on https://www.google.com/settings/account/inactive

The long and short of it is that you can specify when the "I'm dead" switch engages (3, 6, 12 or 18 months), the phone number for extra verification that you're actually still alive, the 1-10 people who should be notified, the mail that will be sent and the autoreply that will come into effect. You can also specify what account data to share. I.e. you can leave out your account's search history.

I've already had a brief talk with my (20-something) daughter about it so she knows what to expect; a (very short) list of peripheral irl and online acquaintances that otherwise wouldn't know that I'm dead, the login details to my password vault (in which ACF is also found), how to unlock my phone and my computer(s), the safebox in the basement and other stuff. The same info is in a note in the password vault. There's also some wishes for my burying ceremony (aka the very-lost-in-translation "walk across"). She already has future, official, formal power of attorney in case I'm legally incapacitated in some way, plus she's the benefactor of the life insurance and all my stuff.

But even though I was brought up with death being a natural thing and not some kind of taboo or a thing best not talked about, the "I'm dead, now what?" mail was very hard to write. But I thought it was better to do it before I knew my date.

 

[Vixxen81]

Good thread with a subject I think a lot of people aren't necessarily thinking about so much. I have already set this up on the main, personal Gmail account I've had for 15+ years and the address "everyone" knows about. It's a fairly simple process technically speaking, but it's an odd feeling to prepare things for when you're dead. It's found on https://www.google.com/settings/account/inactive

The long and short of it is that you can specify when the "I'm dead" switch engages (3, 6, 12 or 18 months), the phone number for extra verification that you're actually still alive, the 1-10 people who should be notified, the mail that will be sent and the autoreply that will come into effect. You can also specify what account data to share. I.e. you can leave out your account's search history.

I've already had a brief talk with my (20-something) daughter about it so she knows what to expect; a (very short) list of peripheral irl and online acquaintances that otherwise wouldn't know that I'm dead, the login details to my password vault (in which ACF is also found), how to unlock my phone and my computer(s), the safebox in the basement and other stuff. The same info is in a note in the password vault. There's also some wishes for my burying ceremony (aka the very-lost-in-translation "walk across"). She already has future, official, formal power of attorney in case I'm legally incapacitated in some way, plus she's the benefactor of the life insurance and all my stuff.

But even though I was brought up with death being a natural thing and not some kind of taboo or a thing best not talked about, the "I'm dead, now what?" mail was very hard to write. But I thought it was better to do it before I knew my date.

Very thoughtful of you to do all of that. When my dad passed none of that was in place and though I am the sole legal, rightful heir it's not worth the money or time to close/settle the estate because I'd still have to do probate because there are living offspring but due to step-parent adoption have no legal claim. It's a mess.

Mom's side is locked up tight and I get half, regardless of the documents in place due to state laws.

 

[Maxi]

When my mom/mum died we managed to get access to her Facebook account and download everything but that was it really. I think you can put a claim in, or at least you could a few years ago.

My dad was useless with passwords and accounts so it took about a year or so to sort everything out; i.e. guess email passwords, Amazon, etc. It wasn’t fun. Luckily there wasn’t too much.

Good luck and so sorry to hear about your mate.

 

[CheeseMoon]

Very thoughtful of you to do all of that. When my dad passed none of that was in place and though I am the sole legal, rightful heir it's not worth the money or time to close/settle the estate because I'd still have to do probate because there are living offspring but due to step-parent adoption have no legal claim. It's a mess.

Mom's side is locked up tight and I get half, regardless of the documents in place due to state laws.

Ouch. Inheritance can be the worst. My grandmother's uncle died childless and somewhat wealthy in Canada in the 1930s. The probate process and everything else took years and brought a few surprises too. It was apparently a thing in the extended family for decades after. There's one guy they to this day they white out on the family tree!

One of the reasons I got anal about it is that a friend of mine died suddenly in the mid 2000s and left behind a bloody mess wrt to papers and digital presence. I helped his mother with the process and vowed to make it easier for the ones I left behind. There's already more than enough paperwork for them. As far as inheritance is concerned, nobody has according to local laws dibs on anything as long as my offspring is 18+ and alive.

 

[CheeseMoon]

When my mom/mum died we managed to get access to her Facebook account and download everything but that was it really. I think you can put a claim in, or at least you could a few years ago.

You can nominate a Facebook account that will "own" your Facenook account when you're officially dead. Your FB account will then also be converted to some kind of memorial account people can post to.

 

[Vixxen81]

Ouch. Inheritance can be the worst. My grandmother's uncle died childless and somewhat wealthy in Canada in the 1930s. The probate process and everything else took years and brought a few surprises too. It was apparently a thing in the extended family for decades after. There's one guy they to this day they white out on the family tree!

One of the reasons I got anal about it is that a friend of mine died suddenly in the mid 2000s and left behind a bloody mess wrt to papers and digital presence. I helped his mother with the process and vowed to make it easier for the ones I left behind. There's already more than enough paperwork for them. As far as inheritance is concerned, nobody has according to local laws dibs on anything as long as my offspring is 18+ and alive.

Long story short, my dad was a big ol' ho and had three children out of wedlock. I'm the only child born in wedlock, but my half-sister was adopted by her step-father so she no longer retains rights. My half-brother died shortly after my father did and my dad adopted my mom's first child through a step-parent adoption. (I have MAJOR opinions on step-parent adoptions after all of this crap.)

In my state the laws are quite clear about who gets what and how much of the total estate. Spouse? All of it. No spouse and living children? All assets split equally among the living children.

 

[CheeseMoon]

In my state the laws are quite clear about who gets what and how much of the total estate. Spouse? All of it. No spouse and living children? All assets split equally among the living children.

Same as here, and it's IMO a fair way to divide an estate, but the downside is ofc all the sleazeball orgs jonesing for old people's money.

And sorry you have to go through all that! I know a couple of guys who are the same, and their lives looks tiresome. Luckily we can choose our friends.

 

[Vixxen81]

Same as here, and it's IMO a fair way to divide an estate, but the downside is ofc all the sleazeball orgs jonesing for old people's money.

And sorry you have to go through all that! I know a couple of guys who are the same, and their lives looks tiresome. Luckily we can choose our friends.

Yep. Forever in an argument about money with at least one baby mama at a time. When I called the probate office to see what it would take to get things rolling, the clerk of court was basically like "he had more children?" What I want to know is why the state didn't know that and put two and two together since he's on my birth certificate.