Do you let your SO look at your profile and content?

[Lasershark]

Ok, so before I go totally off the rails I have a few clarification questions.

1: Is this a sexual relationship? I would assume after 16 months you'd have seen her "in all states of undress" by now.

2: she didn't actually cheat, did she? It was just a show, right?

3: Are you supporting her financially? Or does her camming pay her bills?

Feel free to ignore this post. I think I know the answers to these already but I'm legitimately curious

1. Yes its a sexual relationship.

2. It was a show but it was the act that was performed on the show that crossed her boundary that we both agreed on.

3. I help support her financially, some help from the government and camming pays for other things.

 

[admjgg]

1. Yes its a sexual relationship.

2. It was a show but it was the act that was performed on the show that crossed her boundary that we both agreed on.

3. I help support her financially, some help from the government and camming pays for other things.

ok. Phew. Good to know. I've had my fair share of shitty relationships and I was getting Vietnam flashbacks lol. That's nothing that can't be solved with a simple conversation. But be firm and direct with your boundaries or she'll walk all over you for the duration of your relationship.

However, 2 wrongs don't make a right. Respect her boundaries too. I'm sure once you get camming and doing couples shows that you'll be more comfortable with her doing her own shows, whatever they may be

 

[Lasershark]

ok. Phew. Good to know. I've had my fair share of shitty relationships and I was getting Vietnam flashbacks lol. That's nothing that can't be solved with a simple conversation. But be firm and direct with your boundaries or she'll walk all over you for the duration of your relationship.

However, 2 wrongs don't make a right. Respect her boundaries too. I'm sure once you get camming and doing couples shows that you'll be more comfortable with her doing her own shows, whatever they may be

The thing is that I'm fine with her doing shows, i don't interfere, i help motivate her when she's needing encouragement, listen to her stories of shit callers and the funny ones about strange requests, do her household stuff so she doesn't have to worry about it after work, I'm honestly behind her 100% it was just the crossing of the line that has caused the blips. Everything will be fine, i was really just curious about other cam girls thoughts on their partners viewing their work stuff.

Thanks for the advice.

 

[Beawaresweety]

2. It was a show but it was the act that was performed on the show that crossed her boundary that we both agreed on.

I think there's the problem.
"HER boundary" and "WE BOTH agreed on".
I really don't think she has to discuss her boundaries (especially work related ones) WITH YOU even if you're in a relationship.
It's HER body, HER boundary.
And it's just insane to think she owes you a discussion or she should get your agreement on what she wants (or doesn't want) to do.
She has crossed her boundaries, that may be sad FOR HER. But I don't see a single reason why it may be sad for you.
Honestly, there's no such a reason by default.

A loving partner would think about HER feelings first ("she's sad about what she's done, what can I do to make her feel better about herself?") but your phrase "they've seen what I haven't seen" made you sound selfish and immature.

No hate but IMHO.

 

[AlexaCrush]

I generally haven't let my partners know much (if any) of my camming info or anything. I think the guy I dated when I first started knew at least the Alexa part of my name, and a recent guy I dated found me in the wild on reddit and watches my free videos on pornhub lol. As far as I know he's the only one aside from other models who I know irl who's seen my stuff. I generally keep that stuff to myself because I get incredibly self conscious of my work. Idgaf who sees me nude online, but as soon as it's a person I know in real life my anxiety picks up. It's different somehow when it's someone you know. I'm slowly working through that and getting over it, but I'm still anxious that someone I know irl is going to look at my videos or something and be like "damn, how the fuck is she making money with this? These suck". I know no one is thinking that, but I can't help but stress about it sometimes. We're our own worst critic lol. Is it possible that your girlfriend is upset about it because of something similar?

 

[admjgg]

I think there's the problem.
"HER boundary" and "WE BOTH agreed on".
I really don't think she has to discuss her boundaries (especially work related ones) WITH YOU even if you're in a relationship.
It's HER body, HER boundary.
And it's just insane to think she owes you a discussion or she should get your agreement on what she wants (or doesn't want) to do.
She has crossed her boundaries, that may be sad FOR HER. But I don't see a single reason why it may be sad for you.
Honestly, there's no such a reason by default.

A loving partner would think about HER feelings first ("she's sad about what she's done, what can I do to make her feel better about herself?") but your phrase "they've seen what I haven't seen" made you sound selfish and immature.

No hate but IMHO.

I think you're misunderstanding him a bit here. He said something along the lines of "hey babe, you want to cam? Ok cool but don't shove a 2 foot long horse dildo up your butt and spin" and she got drunk and did it anyway. He absolutely has the right to set boundaries if they both agree to them. Relationships go both ways. If she doesn't want him viewing her cam that's also well within her rights in their relationship.

Oh yeah I never did answer the actual question of the post. I would hope that if my SO was a camgirl for a living that she would at least mention it. It would be pretty weird being in a long term relationship and not knowing what she does for a living, at least to me.

 

[KylieJacobs]

Yes, I let my SO watch my videos. He has actually edited some of my clips also.

 

[AudriTwo]

I think you're misunderstanding him a bit here. He said something along the lines of "hey babe, you want to cam? Ok cool but don't shove a 2 foot long horse dildo up your butt and spin" and she got drunk and did it anyway. He absolutely has the right to set boundaries if they both agree to them. Relationships go both ways. If she doesn't want him viewing her cam that's also well within her rights in their relationship.

he also enables her drinking by providing her with drinks, knowing when someone is under the influence she may blur the boundaries so there is that too... really she shouldn't be drinking on cam period, and OP shouldn't be enabling that behavior.

should never perform under the influence of alcohol and substance abuse, because you may do things you normally won't do that will lead to unwanted ugly thoughts.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I generally haven't let my partners know much (if any) of my camming info or anything. I think the guy I dated when I first started knew at least the Alexa part of my name, and a recent guy I dated found me in the wild on reddit and watches my free videos on pornhub lol. As far as I know he's the only one aside from other models who I know irl who's seen my stuff. I generally keep that stuff to myself because I get incredibly self conscious of my work. Idgaf who sees me nude online, but as soon as it's a person I know in real life my anxiety picks up. It's different somehow when it's someone you know. I'm slowly working through that and getting over it, but I'm still anxious that someone I know irl is going to look at my videos or something and be like "damn, how the fuck is she making money with this? These suck". I know no one is thinking that, but I can't help but stress about it sometimes. We're our own worst critic lol. Is it possible that your girlfriend is upset about it because of something similar?

We definitely are our own worst critic. Aside from going to a stripclub and seeing one of my friends there, I've never seen any of the content or performances others have done. Some of them are not my type. But, I've never thought negatively of them such as you feel someone might. If anything, it's just the opposite. If she can make money without putting herself into a compromising situation (drugs, alcohol, being taken advantage of or abused) I'm extremely supportive of her and think of it as being nothing other than a normal job for her.

Kind of like a couple of the models I message with offline. I typical don't inquire about anything on cam specifically. If I do ask along those lines it's pretty generic such as "How was work?" Or, more often "How was your day? Hope it was good for you." What a person does for work is typically irrelevant to me.

 

[Beawaresweety]

He said something along the lines of "hey babe, you want to cam? Ok cool but don't shove a 2 foot long horse dildo up your butt and spin" and she got drunk and did it anyway. He absolutely has the right to set boundaries if they both agree to them.

Sorry, what?
This line would be appropriate only if she wanted him to participate in it or to use his body for camming purposes. He definitely has the right to decide if he wants to "shove a 2 foot long horse dildo up her or, moveover, his butt". But this work isn't about him. She doesn't want him to be involved. She doesn't want him to cam with her. So it's only HER choice what to put in and what to do in general during her show.
Relationships go both ways only when it's about two people involved.
He has the right to say, "I don't want to fuck your ass" or "I don't want you to fuck my ass". But it has nothing to do with him. That's simply not the case.
He doesn't own her body no matter who he is in her life. Friend, boyfriend, fuck buddy or husband. That's the point. So he can't set any boundaries that aren't about him or his body involved.

 

[Lasershark]

he also enables her drinking by providing her with drinks, knowing when someone is under the influence she may blur the boundaries so there is that too... really she shouldn't be drinking on cam period, and OP shouldn't be enabling that behavior.

should never perform under the influence of alcohol and substance abuse, because you may do things you normally won't do that will lead to unwanted ugly thoughts.

Lets get this straight, when i said make her drinks i mean coffee, juice, water. In no way do i enable anyones habits, any alcohol she has is in her work space and she pours that herself anyway she sees fit. We have raised our concerns about it and has taken steps to reduce her intake especially with having a new car, hungover school runs are not a clever thing to do! Don't make me out to be an enabler or abuser, i treat my lady like a lady, she's an amazing woman and i love and respect her more than anyone on this planet.

 

[Lasershark]

I think there's the problem.
"HER boundary" and "WE BOTH agreed on".
I really don't think she has to discuss her boundaries (especially work related ones) WITH YOU even if you're in a relationship.
It's HER body, HER boundary.
And it's just insane to think she owes you a discussion or she should get your agreement on what she wants (or doesn't want) to do.
She has crossed her boundaries, that may be sad FOR HER. But I don't see a single reason why it may be sad for you.
Honestly, there's no such a reason by default.

A loving partner would think about HER feelings first ("she's sad about what she's done, what can I do to make her feel better about herself?") but your phrase "they've seen what I haven't seen" made you sound selfish and immature.

No hate but IMHO.

Before she started camming she looked up advice from other cam girls in relationships to get a prospective of how they managed relationships and the number one thing was openness and boundaries so thats where the boundaries came from. I asked what she would be comfortable doing and i agreed to that (I'm aware what she does with her body is her own business and respect that). She is her own woman and free to do what she wishes, she was the one that introduced the boundaries and that any changes would be discussed with me, to which i agreed. If anything have a go at the other cam models that gave the advice, not us for following it.

 

[Lasershark]

We definitely are our own worst critic. Aside from going to a stripclub and seeing one of my friends there, I've never seen any of the content or performances others have done. Some of them are not my type. But, I've never thought negatively of them such as you feel someone might. If anything, it's just the opposite. If she can make money without putting herself into a compromising situation (drugs, alcohol, being taken advantage of or abused) I'm extremely supportive of her and think of it as being nothing other than a normal job for her.

Kind of like a couple of the models I message with offline. I typical don't inquire about anything on cam specifically. If I do ask along those lines it's pretty generic such as "How was work?" Or, more often "How was your day? Hope it was good for you." What a person does for work is typically irrelevant to me.

That is what i am like, i ask her how her night at work was/is going, if she worked late ect.. but thats it, any details she brings forward is her decision. I'm there for her when she's had a good night and I'm there for her when she's had to deal with shitty people, we have a great solid relationship aside from the minor blip. Seriously I'm her number one supporter.

 

[Lasershark]

I generally haven't let my partners know much (if any) of my camming info or anything. I think the guy I dated when I first started knew at least the Alexa part of my name, and a recent guy I dated found me in the wild on reddit and watches my free videos on pornhub lol. As far as I know he's the only one aside from other models who I know irl who's seen my stuff. I generally keep that stuff to myself because I get incredibly self conscious of my work. Idgaf who sees me nude online, but as soon as it's a person I know in real life my anxiety picks up. It's different somehow when it's someone you know. I'm slowly working through that and getting over it, but I'm still anxious that someone I know irl is going to look at my videos or something and be like "damn, how the fuck is she making money with this? These suck". I know no one is thinking that, but I can't help but stress about it sometimes. We're our own worst critic lol. Is it possible that your girlfriend is upset about it because of something similar?

Your story actually sounds very similar to my lady. She doesn't have a very high opinion of herself even though she is a very beautiful lady inside and out, i build her up all the time and I'd like to see her see herself as everyone else does, hell she looks that good she was offered a professional modelling contract (life changing amounts of money) last October from a very well known high street fashion chain but her confidence got the better of her and she declined unfortunately. I hope one day she and you become people that recognise their beauty and gain an awesome level of self confidence. Thanks for your reply.

 

[Lasershark]

Sorry, what?
This line would be appropriate only if she wanted him to participate in it or to use his body for camming purposes. He definitely has the right to decide if he wants to "shove a 2 foot long horse dildo up her or, moveover, his butt". But this work isn't about him. She doesn't want him to be involved. She doesn't want him to cam with her. So it's only HER choice what to put in and what to do in general during her show.
Relationships go both ways only when it's about two people involved.
He has the right to say, "I don't want to fuck your ass" or "I don't want you to fuck my ass". But it has nothing to do with him. That's simply not the case.
He doesn't own her body no matter who he is in her life. Friend, boyfriend, fuck buddy or husband. That's the point. So he can't set any boundaries that aren't about him or his body involved.

You've missed a point, she does want to cam with me but the agency she works for requires her to have more live time first, she's also encouraged me to cam solo too.

 

[Leverageurassets]

I do get embarrassed still when sharing my content with my SO. Even when I watch it by myself I get embarrassed lol. Its more of a “this feels silly” feeling not at all shame. We are super open in our communication and neither of us imposes on each others personal space. When I want to share and tease I send him something. When I don’t, I don’t. He’s my biggest fan and emotional rock.

I wouldn’t want him in my cam room unless he was watching on an electronic somewhere else in silence just because I would giggle and be distracted. Though sometimes I ask if he can check my lighting or sound from a far.

The moment he started thinking he could impose any limits on how I support myself we’d be done. I don’t have time or patience for drama, I’m busy.

 

[imTheSupremeOne]

I didn't even made a separate name for camming accounts, lol. Don't think that this would ever affect me, cause if it would bother anyone, I wouldn't have any interactions with them in a first place, anyway...

 

[lilscottishgal]

The only reason I don't show my partner all the content I make is that it might get him "in the mood" whereas I'm just showing it to him as more of a "hey honey, look what I did at work today." He hasn't watched any of my cam shows because I feel like it would be a distraction when I'm trying to entertain a bunch of strangers. I did have the fun idea that one day he could come in under an anonymous account and I have to "guess" who he is.

 

[AudriTwo]

Lets get this straight, when i said make her drinks i mean coffee, juice, water. In no way do i enable anyones habits, any alcohol she has is in her work space and she pours that herself anyway she sees fit. We have raised our concerns about it and has taken steps to reduce her intake especially with having a new car, hungover school runs are not a clever thing to do! Don't make me out to be an enabler or abuser, i treat my lady like a lady, she's an amazing woman and i love and respect her more than anyone on this planet.

my apologies, that was a misunderstanding.

 

[Lady_Sha]

That's a good question. If it came up I probably would let him see some material to get a feel for what I do. We are in a relationship so my work isn't off limits.

I've been open and up front with all men during the dating phase about what I do and they have been accepting of it. I have yet, however, to engage with a man who has actually wanted to see my content or cam site. It's never been an issue.

 

[KristinKervz]

My honest opinion... if your significant other has a set of do's and don'ts for your cam time, you're gonna have a lot of issues. Cam models, especially new ones, evolve a lot. Some boundaries disappear, and new ones are created. I've been doing this for 9 years and what I will and won't do change up almost every day. You keep mentioning HER boundaries. I keep imagining myself in her situation, having this conversation with you, and if you were to get upset with me supposedly for crossing MY OWN boundaries, I'd really feel like you were gaslighting, manipulating to make me feel bad about myself, and make me feel like you're just looking out for ME, like you know what's best for ME, when really, I'm just fine and the real issue is your jealousy.

To answer your question, my husband was a fan before we met, and honestly still is. He sometimes joins my room and tips me here and there, or will randomly subscribe to my OnlyFans. He knows he can get all the content he wants free, but I think he enjoys giving me the thrill of a sale/tip. I just don't see how he and I could have a healthy relationship if he were so concerned with what I do on cam. I mean I told him when we first met that I didn't wanna put anything in my butt, but there's been a few times people tipped me enough to convince me since then. I'd hate to feel like I wasn't allowed to do what I'm comfortable with in that moment.