Fan club on CB: At which point do free PMs get annoying for models?

[Freddy_Fantastic]

Hi,

I guess too many PMs can get annoying for the model. Even for viewers it can get a bit strange when the model is only typing and has no time for the open chat. When the model engages in many private chats that's her choice of course, but it keeps me from tipping.

Now I entered a fan club for the first time, the prize was very low, there are no special benefits like pics or whatever. I know the model since 3 months and we enjoyed chatting, I find her to be a very interesting person, aside from the sexiness. She even sent me PMs for free sometimes. I always made it a point to tip her the normal PM prize for that. Now I entered her fan club along with a few other viewers. And now she spends a lot of time with PM conversations because she always has a lot to talk about. Sometimes she seems a bit unhappy when more than 4 Fan club members are in the room. Just an impression of course, I can't know for sure. I don't know since when she is a model but she might not have the routine like long time models do. She might fear loosing support by stopping a conversation.

Until now I didn't sent her PMs as a fan club member because I don't want to add to the problem. Anyway I think conversations that are non personal belong in the open chat. In some cases they can help the room in my experience. So the funny (and a bit sad) fact is that since I'm green we didn't have personal conversations anymore. She PMs me when I come into the room, but that's that. I'm definitely not complaining about the model because she does nothing wrong.

Questions:
- How does your favorite Fan club member behave apart from the obvious tipping?
- When and how often are free PMs ok for you?
- I never give advice when I'm not asked, but is there anything I could do to tell her about the things I described above?
- Do you ask Fans to shut up, or do you ignore PMs when it gets too much?

 

[Vixxen81]

She may be under the impression private messages are actually private but they're not.

 

[Freddy_Fantastic]

Well they are private in a sense that they are not public. Site admins or other staff at CB can read them of course like everywhere else, even in this forum its theoretically possible (at least it was with an older version of the forum SW I had the pleasure of dealing with)

But its not that she reveals super intimate stuff. I've decided not to say or do anything about it. Things might turn to normal soon enough maybe.

Still interested in answers to the questions in my OP.

 

[WQSR]

I do not offer free PMs for Fanclub members, even if it's slow. If it is quick, it is fine. Demanding 1 on 1 attention without tips hurts the model. After 3, for me, personally.

 

[ElGato]

Here's my take... As an 'ultimate' user on a site I have the ability to PM any model at any time for free.

• If I have the need/desire to PM a model I will always tip their PM price. It's what they want, it's in their tip menu.
• I don't waste the models time by sending anything that couldn't be in public chat.
• "Read the room"... Be aware if the model is not in a chatty mood or chatty person in general or not in a chatty portion of their show and give them that respect.
• If I come back to the room days later, I tip again for the PM to kick it off.
• Never expect them to drop everything to read or respond to your PM. No matter who (you think) you are.
• Don't expect a conversation. Chatting about their cats is not helping their show.
  If they start chatting about their cats,, traffic, breakfast... Maybe they just feel like chatting at that moment, who knows. It does not mean they are your soulmate.
• Oh, and never ever ever send an unsolicited dick pic

 

[LilyLaughing]

It is almost impossible to keep up with DMs while performing, tipped or not, though tipped ones obviously will be noticed rather than random messages. I tend to answer them all at the start of a stream and catch back up at the end or after a private. Generally, they prevent me from taking healthy breaks and negatively affect my income, so while streaming I’m also likely to say one on one private talk is best acheived in a private show. I do enjoy chatting and often chat/trade emails on my offline time while uploading content but one-on-one chatting (especially sexual or fetish chat) while I am live is exactly what private shows are made for.

 

[Freddy_Fantastic]

Thanks all for the answers, I pretty much follow the recommendations from @ElGato . As I said this is my first fan club. Before that I never did PMs other than discussing a private. When I think about it there is not much that can't go into the public chat. In the case I described above its a model that types a lot into PMs even when I don't start the conversation. So she sees that I'm entering the room and after a few seconds there is a PM. Its her choice. Maybe she will change that when it gets too much and focus more on the open chat. I certainly would like that better.

Thanks a lot @LilyLaughing and @WQSR that was exactly what I was looking for from the models perspective.

As an afterthought:

a few months ago Facebook started to use content posted by members to train AI. There was a deadline where you could change the settings to tell FB not to use your content.

I find it a bit spooky to think about CAM sites using the entirety of PMs sent by models to train "lovebots". Strange times ahead. Maybe as a model you will be able to train your own AI that will take care of PMs. Who knows.

 

[LilyLaughing]

a model that types a lot into PMs even when I don't start the conversation. So she sees that I'm entering the room and after a few seconds there is a PM. Its her choice. Maybe she will change that when it gets too much and focus more on the open chat. I certainly would like that better.

Thanks a lot @LilyLaughing and @WQSR that was exactly what I was looking for from the models perspective.

I, and a lot of models I know will do this, it's sort of a way to 'warm up'/procrastinate a little by chatting with a client you enjoy talking to before facing a room of unknowns. She probably considers you a kind ear. I bet you could navigate giving her this feedback gently and directly and all would be well. Many of us dream of a client who considers the 'community vibe' of the public chatroom. Good luck Freddy!

 

[Vixxen81]

I, and a lot of models I know will do this, it's sort of a way to 'warm up'/procrastinate a little by chatting with a client you enjoy talking to before facing a room of unknowns. She probably considers you a kind ear. I bet you could navigate giving her this feedback gently and directly and all would be well. Many of us dream of a client who considers the 'community vibe' of the public chatroom. Good luck Freddy!

The longer I hang around on this forum the more I realize there's a lot of diarrhea of the mouth on both sides. Land on a tactic, it works, then some guy gets freaked out, it's only human nature to share struggles when they exist and to be like "hey that means I can't do this right now" and everyone reacts with "yes you can AND MORE!" As if oversharing yourself is the answer to the question of why humans have a constant want to break their friends into groups and who does what for me and when and how...and viewers often self-compartmentalize themselves into those slots when the model is just like "cool, you're fucking tipping, that's awesome, my electric bill just got paid, my rent is covered, I can feed my kid my cat my dog my goldfish..."

 

[LilyLaughing]

The longer I hang around on this forum the more I realize there's a lot of diarrhea of the mouth on both sides. Land on a tactic, it works, then some guy gets freaked out, it's only human nature to share struggles when they exist and to be like "hey that means I can't do this right now" and everyone reacts with "yes you can AND MORE!" As if oversharing yourself is the answer to the question of why humans have a constant want to break their friends into groups and who does what for me and when and how...and viewers often self-compartmentalize themselves into those slots when the model is just like "cool, you're fucking tipping, that's awesome, my electric bill just got paid, my rent is covered, I can feed my kid my cat my dog my goldfish..."

Did I do diarrhea of the mouth now or ...

I think maybe I just confessed to it? It's a lonely job, we make mistakes, especially those of use who are single/lacking a supportive home environment. It's definitely more important for me to consider my clients needs than mine but alas I am a weak human being and hope this perspective helped OP a little bit. And I hope it helps me too!

 

[Vixxen81]

Did I do diarrhea of the mouth now or ...

I think maybe I just confessed to it? It's a lonely job, we make mistakes, especially those of use who are single/lacking a supportive home environment. It's definitely more important for me to consider my clients needs than mine but alas I am a weak human being and hope this perspective helped OP a little bit. And I hope it helps me too!

Oh I'm sorry, no no no. This was me basically breaking down from all of the demands I was dealing with and being just vomit-worthy myself. I say too much sometimes, as if I feel obligated to explain to the nth degree to people who just don't give a damn.

In the last 24 hours I have had two guys try to control my income from the other person on the belief one was being overshadowed (they both believed that) and woke up to an email from a very drunk fan club member detailing how I should enjoy being objectified by him. (We talked about it, he meant sexualized but I am still traumatized.)

 

[LilyLaughing]

I'm so sorry love, sending you big hugs and appreciation! This may be a lil unhelpful to OP now but I think we can get back to the point: It's hard sometimes to not overshare in an intimate space for humans. No matter who we are, we don't need to objectify or abuse or especially traumatize a person.

/sending more hugs

 

[MaryCorner]

Questions:
- How does your favorite Fan club member behave apart from the obvious tipping?
- When and how often are free PMs ok for you?
- I never give advice when I'm not asked, but is there anything I could do to tell her about the things I described above?
- Do you ask Fans to shut up, or do you ignore PMs when it gets too much?

My very personal view on this:

1. Tipping good is the most important factor to me in order for a member to be in my favorites, regardless if they are a Fan Club member or not. Respecting the fact that my bills and taxes wasn't covered by their tip/membership alone, and that I need to show attention to other tippers as well, is the 2nd most important factor.
2. Never. Even humanitarian volunteers are getting paid for their times and services. And I'm working, not volunteering to save anyone from his evil boner.
3. No. You are not entitled to give suggestions on how she should run her business.
4. Unpaid PMs: I don't even open. Unpaid means unappreciated. Paid: I respond as long as they keep paying the full price. Fan Club PMs: My Fan Club subscription is high enough for me to follow the conversation without a tip being mandatory at first. Yet, after a certain amount of time, tipping is expected as a form of etiquette and appreciation.

 

[RainForest]

My very personal view on this:

1. Tipping good is the most important factor to me in order for a member to be in my favorites, regardless if they are a Fan Club member or not. Respecting the fact that my bills and taxes wasn't covered by their tip/membership alone, and that I need to show attention to other tippers as well, is the 2nd most important factor.
2. Never. Even humanitarian volunteers are getting paid for their times and services. And I'm working, not volunteering to save anyone from his evil boner.
3. No. You are not entitled to give suggestions on how she should run her business.
4. Unpaid PMs: I don't even open. Unpaid means unappreciated. Paid: I respond as long as they keep paying the full price. Fan Club PMs: My Fan Club subscription is high enough for me to follow the conversation without a tip being mandatory at first. Yet, after a certain amount of time, tipping is expected as a form of etiquette and appreciation.

Mary is conducting a masterclass here ?

 

[itbteky]

Here's my take... As an 'ultimate' user on a site I have the ability to PM any model at any time for free.

• If I have the need/desire to PM a model I will always tip their PM price. It's what they want, it's in their tip menu.
• Never expect them to drop everything to read or respond to your PM. No matter who (you think) you are.

Good Points, I have to ALWAYS remember that last one, it’s important otherwise you will just look INSANE. well IMO

my only problem is, my ADHD is serial and just like anyone i talk to, i tell them what my mind is literally running around at the moment and never NEVER EVER can seem to be sweet and short, sometimes it’s a blessing and a curse, few models have told me they like it cause they can’t keep up, iunno tho i am my own worst enemy… nah means?! so ya def good to remember that last one see explained all that for that…. ayeeeeee my RL friends call it biblical text messages or diarrhea mouth of the mind. i just tell people to BE STRAIGHT UP and say STFU sometimes , my real friends won’t read my shit till they actually gotta shit on the downtime so shit! just saying but ya KEY ELEMENT this dude be speaking truth. ty

 

[itbteky]

Oh I'm sorry, no no no. This was me basically breaking down from all of the demands I was dealing with and being just vomit-worthy myself. I say too much sometimes, as if I feel obligated to explain to the nth degree to people who just don't give a damn.

o you got that too!? woooo hi-five i’m not alone (of course) but nice to see it in fine text from fine human being. ^_~ what’s that quote hrmm

“never let anyone treat you like your ordinary when your extraordinary”

something like that ^_~

 

[Vixxen81]

o you got that too!? woooo hi-five i’m not alone (of course) but nice to see it in fine text from fine human being. ^_~ what’s that quote hrmm

“never let anyone treat you like your ordinary when your extraordinary”

something like that ^_~

Someone said to me the other day, don't let anyone treat you like you're the free salsa, you're the extra guacamole and I smiled so big. ?

I've been better about it lately but we both know it sucks to deal with it at all.

 

[Squinkle]

I personally do not offer PM's at all, paid or not. Like you said, it hurts the model. I prefer to speak aloud, not type while I'm performing. That way, I can engage all my tippers and not get distracted in the PM tab.

 

[dino_mino]

Hi,

I guess too many PMs can get annoying for the model. Even for viewers it can get a bit strange when the model is only typing and has no time for the open chat. When the model engages in many private chats that's her choice of course, but it keeps me from tipping.

Now I entered a fan club for the first time, the prize was very low, there are no special benefits like pics or whatever. I know the model since 3 months and we enjoyed chatting, I find her to be a very interesting person, aside from the sexiness. She even sent me PMs for free sometimes. I always made it a point to tip her the normal PM prize for that. Now I entered her fan club along with a few other viewers. And now she spends a lot of time with PM conversations because she always has a lot to talk about. Sometimes she seems a bit unhappy when more than 4 Fan club members are in the room. Just an impression of course, I can't know for sure. I don't know since when she is a model but she might not have the routine like long time models do. She might fear loosing support by stopping a conversation.

Until now I didn't sent her PMs as a fan club member because I don't want to add to the problem. Anyway I think conversations that are non personal belong in the open chat. In some cases they can help the room in my experience. So the funny (and a bit sad) fact is that since I'm green we didn't have personal conversations anymore. She PMs me when I come into the room, but that's that. I'm definitely not complaining about the model because she does nothing wrong.

Questions:
- How does your favorite Fan club member behave apart from the obvious tipping?
- When and how often are free PMs ok for you?
- I never give advice when I'm not asked, but is there anything I could do to tell her about the things I described above?
- Do you ask Fans to shut up, or do you ignore PMs when it gets too much?

such an intresting question and topic. i wish i can have bigger fan club for answer, but i always like when my fans text me its make me feel like they care about me , actually if they tip too its double happy. but if they come every day streaming without tip but still follow my fan club, i would like it too! but answer not so often because its job just for me too , i like meet good people and talk but make money is important too, but sometimes i just confused how to say not text without tip for pm or just tip to me too ^^ like not only talk . but if they talk with me about them problems i always answer because its aftercare from me to them . lmao .

 

[MarieElise]

• "Read the room"... Be aware if the model is not in a chatty mood or chatty person in general or not in a chatty portion of their show and give them that respect.

This is super cool to read. I'm a very moody model who can go from uber-chatty friendly one night, about everything under the sun, to super introverted the next. When the mood changes I'll be straight resenting any (what I see) as a blatant intrusion on my time and mental/ emotional space. So I love that you're highlighting to stay aware, and go with the flow here.

The same person can be in a zone where they love company one night, and the next they want paid interactions only, because they are taking a deep dive within their psyche. And they want to be left in peace to do that, without unpaid interruptions. You can always just ask upfront though.

But I've definitely had some super awkward long-term interactions with Regs who expect me to be in the same social mood every single night. I find that, personally, impossible.
Energy levels wax and wane, and I'm not in the same exact spot every single day.

 

[dino_mino]

This is super cool to read. I'm a very moody model who can go from uber-chatty one night, about everything under the sun, to super introverted the next. When the mood changes I'll be straight resenting any (what I see) as blatant intrusion on my time and mental space. So I love that you're highlighting to stay aware and go with the flow here.

The same person can be in a zone where they love company one night, and the next they want paid interactions only, because they are taking a deep dive within their own psyche. And they want to be left in peace to do that, without unpaid interruptions.

i really understand about what u talk. but time is money, but it can be not for money if money already in pocket . for example, when i finish my stream and already have money , that i planned to have i can just talk without topic about everything and i think they udnerstand how it work too

 

[Vixxen81]

This is super cool to read. I'm a very moody model who can go from uber-chatty friendly one night, about everything under the sun, to super introverted the next. When the mood changes I'll be straight resenting any (what I see) as a blatant intrusion on my time and mental/ emotional space. So I love that you're highlighting to stay aware, and go with the flow here.

The same person can be in a zone where they love company one night, and the next they want paid interactions only, because they are taking a deep dive within their psyche. And they want to be left in peace to do that, without unpaid interruptions. You can always just ask upfront though.

But I've definitely had some super awkward long-term interactions with Regs who expect me to be in the same social mood every single night. I find that, personally, impossible.
Energy levels wax and wane, and I'm not in the same exact spot every single day.

Am I looking in a mirror? Cause yeah, all of this.

 

[ElGato]

Reading many aspects of the room is so rare with so many Main Character Syndrome "what's in it for meeeeee!" people. MF'rs who never got told no as a child LOL

 

[rockin_rod]

This is super cool to read. I'm a very moody model who can go from uber-chatty friendly one night, about everything under the sun, to super introverted the next. When the mood changes I'll be straight resenting any (what I see) as a blatant intrusion on my time and mental/ emotional space. So I love that you're highlighting to stay aware, and go with the flow here.

The same person can be in a zone where they love company one night, and the next they want paid interactions only, because they are taking a deep dive within their psyche. And they want to be left in peace to do that, without unpaid interruptions. You can always just ask upfront though.

But I've definitely had some super awkward long-term interactions with Regs who expect me to be in the same social mood every single night. I find that, personally, impossible.
Energy levels wax and wane, and I'm not in the same exact spot every single day.

Yeah I really don't understand how anyone can be expected to keep a constant mood, when we're human beings not machines. Moods vary all the time, and should do, or else we're probably not experiencing enough variety.
I shudder whenever a viewer asks in public chat why the model looks sad, or is quiet, or seems distracted. I'm sure a lot more gets sent in tip notes or pm that we don't see, but it must be infuriating for the recipient.
Maybe those viewers expect that the model's mood and energy levels should be a part of the cam persona (assuming they have one) and just gets added along with outfit and hair/makeup?

 

[Vixxen81]

Yeah I really don't understand how anyone can be expected to keep a constant mood, when we're human beings not machines. Moods vary all the time, and should do, or else we're probably not experiencing enough variety.
I shudder whenever a viewer asks in public chat why the model looks sad, or is quiet, or seems distracted. I'm sure a lot more gets sent in tip notes or pm that we don't see, but it must be infuriating for the recipient.
Maybe those viewers expect that the model's mood and energy levels should be a part of the cam persona (assuming they have one) and just gets added along with outfit and hair/makeup?

I have resting bitch face like woah. If I don't remember to bite the inside of my cheek a little to create a less harsh look to my mouth, I get slammed with. "Smile bb. Life ain't that bad."

No. You dickhead. My brain never stops spinning and I'm probably thinking about Gaza or Ukraine or this incoming administration. MAKE ME SMILE (and pro tip: hitting on me ain't the way.)

 

[MarieElise]

Yeah I really don't understand how anyone can be expected to keep a constant mood, when we're human beings not machines. Moods vary all the time, and should do, or else we're probably not experiencing enough variety.

Exactly, and if I'm tired, it's usually from stuff I don't want to talk about in a public setting.

If I had the kind of relationship, where emotionally a viewer and I were close, I could absolutely talk about things privately. But there are a lot of topics which plainly just aren't suited for cam site interactions. And what I usually see is people who view the paying part, as for sex only and nudity stuff. Then the talking part, there isn't any give and take, it's all about them. Main character syndrome, like El Gato said. In a true friendship or relationship of any sort, it's give and take. One person isn't solely the listening ear for the other, without any human or emotional needs themself.

I know, you know that though. I get that vibe loud and clear with you. You are emotionally mature.

This just seems to often be the case on the cam sites. They are so thick in this fantasy where I'm a sexual only "perfect" being, that they don't even think that I'm a real woman at all. They don't understand how lucky they have it with their wife. If they knew the whole me, they'd realize she probably doesn't chew their nuts off, even half as bad as I would. Or expect half as much as I would. I'm just not showing my full self, because it's a fantasy escape on cam sites, and I'm a persona. So it's like many "people" get a little lost, and ungrounded in that fantasy aspect.

This "perfect" woman that's always on sexually when you are in the mood only, and has no other needs from you whatsoever - she don't exist guys. Not speaking to Rod specifically on that, just generally.

 

[Vixxen81]

And what I usually see is people who view the paying part, as for sex only and nudity stuff.

This is why I have a chat tax in my menu. Pay it or I kick your oily ass out of my room.

 

[MarieElise]

This is why I have a chat tax in my menu. Pay it or I kick your oily ass out of my room.

Omg on first read my mind turned the word kick, into lick, and I was like "whoa Vixen has some really interesting turns of phrase" hahahaha.
But, yes, I 100 percent agree.

The only exception would be like a long term Reg, maybe who I consider a friend too, and who I maybe might at times chat with offsite. But I mean, those mainly don't exist.

 

[Vixxen81]

Omg on first read my mind turned the word kick, into lick, and I was like "whoa Vixen has some really interesting turns of phrase" hahahaha.
But, yes, I 100 percent agree.

The only exception would be like a long term Reg, maybe who I consider a friend too, and who I maybe might at times chat with offsite. But I mean, those mainly don't exist.

Those are the people you have to hold accountable the most. Everyone who I consider a regular has known I will toss anyone out the door if they start dominating my chat and not paying up. I once banned a guy with over 40,000 tokens in his account because he would NOT STOP. Warned, warned, warned, warned. Kept doing it. C-ya! He actually sent me an email and said, "but I thought we were friends." I responded, "friends don't do that to their friends at work."

 

[MarieElise]

Those are the people you have to hold accountable the most. Everyone who I consider a regular has known I will toss anyone out the door if they start dominating my chat and not paying up. I once banned a guy with over 40,000 tokens in his account because he would NOT STOP. Warned, warned, warned, warned. Kept doing it. C-ya! He actually sent me an email and said, "but I thought we were friends." I responded, "friends don't do that to their friends at work."

Yes, tbh the times I've gotten excited and thought I've achieved that understanding and maybe gained a true, new friend. They inevitably end up sending me an unpaid dick pic, in the middle of a serious conversation, about nothing whatsoever related to sex or masturbation ?‍ It never seems to last. You're right, they generally are the worst.