Update - I think I owe you all a little update of what's transpired. In the days (or weeks, really) after the dreadful incident I shared, I spent most of my time in my room only leaving it for meals and to use the bathroom. I kept to myself only speaking when spoken to. I did spend a few days just laying on the bed wallowing in misery but I got back into streaming to take my mind off of everything.
However I did realize something I find rather disconcerting. My ability to smile and just pretend like I'm the happiest person alive. I have OBS open in a small window on the screen and I just think who is this? Because I see the face smiling and laughing and enjoying herself but that's certainly not how I've felt these past weeks.
I'm not sure whether that's good or not but the good news is that I'm feeling better - much better now. I try taking it one day at a time rather than thinking too far ahead or too far back. I find this helps a lot.
I just feel really grateful that I've found this community. It's been a very lonely year for me and to have all you wonderful people supporting me is something I find very beautiful.
However I did realize something I find rather disconcerting. My ability to smile and just pretend like I'm the happiest person alive. I have OBS open in a small window on the screen and I just think who is this? Because I see the face smiling and laughing and enjoying herself but that's certainly not how I've felt these past weeks.
I'm not sure whether that's good or not but the good news is that I'm feeling better - much better now. I try taking it one day at a time rather than thinking too far ahead or too far back. I find this helps a lot.
I just feel really grateful that I've found this community. It's been a very lonely year for me and to have all you wonderful people supporting me is something I find very beautiful.
