Help/Advice for a sad new cam user

[Wakualla]

Help, do you have any insight/advice? I'm brand new to cam sites, I’ve only been there a few days.

The big rooms with lots of viewers and dramatic stuff don't appeal to me, but private chat did.

I found a model I liked and asked her what she does in private chat, and if she'd be comfortable doing a little strip tease and masturbation.

I thought we'd agreed on terms, but when I got in the room, she said she charges more for masturbation. Not wanting to seem cheap or difficult, I agreed and paid.

Everything was going fine, but very slowly. I was fine with that because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable and I was shy. She never took off her clothes, but made small talk. I figured I'd just get another private chat if we ran out of time.

All of a sudden, she banned me without warning or explanation.

What bothers me the most is just that I don't even know why.

If I did anything to offend her, I'd like to know, because I would feel terrible. And also to learn from it so I never make anyone uncomfortable again.

But there's nothing I can think of at all. I tried to establish clear expectations, I told her I didn't want her to do anything she'd be uncomfortable with, and I didn't pressure her to do anything at all. I think the last thing I said was something like, "would you be comfortable showing me more of yourself?" (She was fully clothed, not even in underwear or lingerie.)

Even if she was just scamming me, I wish I knew that- because at least then I'd know I didn't do anything wrong. I don’t care about the money.

Is there any chance she was just trying to end the chat and move on, but pressed the wrong button? That seems unlikely, but I do think it may have run over on time.

I realize a lot of posts like this are self-serving and omit important information or try to present things in a favorable way. If there's anything I'm leaving out that seems important, please let me know!

I'm really afraid to try again because it was such a negative experience. Certainly for me, but unless she’s being disingenuous, for her too.

 

[stormythunder]

I'm not sure if this was a newer model you were visiting, but I know when I was getting used to privates they used to really scare me. I'd never done cam to cam with anyone besides boyfriends on Skype. Maybe she just had a moment of social anxiety and knew she couldn't perform what you were wanting but didn't feel up to explaining that. Being ghosted in the middle of a private show sucks but I don't think it sounds scammy. Maybe someone else will see scam vibes but that's just my take. When I was that worried about doing well in a private I did keep my rates lower so hopefully the rate per minute was at least affordable for you.

 

[Southernbarbii]

Help, do you have any insight/advice? I'm brand new to cam sites, I’ve only been there a few days.

The big rooms with lots of viewers and dramatic stuff don't appeal to me, but private chat did.

I found a model I liked and asked her what she does in private chat, and if she'd be comfortable doing a little strip tease and masturbation.

I thought we'd agreed on terms, but when I got in the room, she said she charges more for masturbation. Not wanting to seem cheap or difficult, I agreed and paid.

Everything was going fine, but very slowly. I was fine with that because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable and I was shy. She never took off her clothes, but made small talk. I figured I'd just get another private chat if we ran out of time.

All of a sudden, she banned me without warning or explanation.

What bothers me the most is just that I don't even know why.

If I did anything to offend her, I'd like to know, because I would feel terrible. And also to learn from it so I never make anyone uncomfortable again.

But there's nothing I can think of at all. I tried to establish clear expectations, I told her I didn't want her to do anything she'd be uncomfortable with, and I didn't pressure her to do anything at all. I think the last thing I said was something like, "would you be comfortable showing me more of yourself?" (She was fully clothed, not even in underwear or lingerie.)

Even if she was just scamming me, I wish I knew that- because at least then I'd know I didn't do anything wrong. I don’t care about the money.

Is there any chance she was just trying to end the chat and move on, but pressed the wrong button? That seems unlikely, but I do think it may have run over on time.

I realize a lot of posts like this are self-serving and omit important information or try to present things in a favorable way. If there's anything I'm leaving out that seems important, please let me know!

I'm really afraid to try again because it was such a negative experience. Certainly for me, but unless she’s being disingenuous, for her too.

No baby, she didn’t accidentally ban you. It takes a couple of clicks to ban, whereas to end the show it’s just a button on the screen. More than likely with her being new, she was just really intimidated and private shows are pretty scary when t you’re the new kid on the block.

Aside from that, she had to know what she was signing up for when she opened the account. Most men aren’t there for small talk, and even less of them are willing to take it slow and be patient new models learn the ropes. I give you kudos for that. As a 5 year veteran, it’s rare.

Try not to beat yourself up over it. I think she just got a case of nerves.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

This read like a scam to me .. not a shy newbie. Springing extra charges, stalling for time then banning - this was a scam

 

[MarieElise]

Idk, I could see it being both, really. Scam vibes, but also someone who just wasn't comfy is a possibility too.

Either way OP, from the info you've presented here, you didn't do anything wrong. I would just, in general, try not to get over attached or over invested in one model. And if you want to build a more personal connection, try to hold back attachment until you've gotten to know them better. Either way, if I were you, I wouldn't let it trouble me or sour me; I'd just brush it off and move on to the next.

I get it you have feelings, and they're valid to you. Thus, they are valid.
At the same time, it really isn't that deep.
So if you feel you're going to be affected at this level every time, I wouldn't get involved in cam sites. I'd stop now.
Because you likely will come across scammers, have interactions that didn't go the way you wanted, and also be misunderstood.
That happens a ton on the internet, especially when communicating through text only, at the beginning.

If you aren't someone that can brush these things off easily, you may need to be careful/ very cautious on cam sites. It's supposed to be fun for you.
Other than that, I recommend finding models you like and reading through their reviews thoroughly. Not just the last 2. Please scroll down and see how many reviews they have. Is it 2 or 3, or are there like 20 plus. This isn't your fault, at all, that this happened. You probably do want to minimize this kind of stuff going forward, though.

ETA; Another thing; look at the type of shows and fetishes she may or may not cater too.
Too many guys don't do their research then get attached to a model who isn't even very interested in their sexuality/ fetishes at all. They already have a wife that's not interested in them, that's why they came to the site in the first place LOL. Don't let your brain trick you on the visuals (ie nice titties, nice ass, pretty face). Pace yourself, try to stay in your logical, rational part of your brain, and weigh things up properly before jumping in again.

 

[KingMarti]

This read like a scam to me .. not a shy newbie. Springing extra charges, stalling for time then banning - this was a scam

I agree.

OP if you prefer pvt interactions I would recommend stream mate (a site designed around private shows) over token based sites, you might find you have a better experience that way if it matches the type of interaction you prefer.

Also going to add, remember anything that is said or done on a camsite is fantasy, there is something about your post that makes me think you would be a good mark for a romance scam so just something to keep in mind.

 

[MarieElise]

sorry edit window over, I meant thoroughly* not properly (last sentence in my post).

 

[yummybrownfox]

I think the last thing I said was something like, "would you be comfortable showing me more of yourself?" (She was fully clothed, not even in underwear or lingerie.)

You didn’t ask this question just seconds after the private show started, right? Because it’s common for cam models to not get naked right away, and to build up to it. Too many guys go private…immediately ask to see tits/pussy/ass/toy play …and then bounce because that brief moment of nudity was all they needed to bust that nut…..

You don’t seem like that type of guy though.