HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING
AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD. 
WELL . . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE. 
MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING
IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. 
I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE
WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL,
HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH
SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO. 
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A
SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN? 
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY
DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. 
THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH
THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. 
AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED
HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .. 
'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE
GLEAMED WITH PRIDE. 
WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED. 
HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU
ASK?' 
YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED. 
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY. 
THEN, THAT UGLY, 
OLD, 
BALD, 
WRINKLED FACED, 
FAT-ASSED, 
GRAY-HAIRED, 
DECREPIT 
SON-OF-A-***** 
ASKED, 
'WHAT DID YOU TEACH???