Hi everyone, i came to ask for some advice..

[hallie rose]

Ok so.. I have a customer on my hands that has made things unenjoyable for me... he met me about 2-3 weeks ago and has been a humongous supporter, im talking $300 gift cards and presents and half my paycheck kind of support, he realy is a big help. But the thing is is that he is really clingy to me and really needy and I will always have messages from him and I feel as if he is acting like in his head that I am his girlfriend. He has been getting jealous and sad over me going private with others, and just camming in general and also he realy hates the fact i have a boyfriend. He makes me feel bad for him because of how sad or frustrated he is with something in his day, everyday. He acts like I owe him my undivided attention everyday and is sad when i dont reply for a while. I am nice but I dont act interested, i think he might have taken me the wrong way though. I am uneasy, a bit creeped out, and I don't like spending time with him. At first he gave me a $300 gift card and I didnt want to be a bitch and say thanks and give nothing, so I did two free skyp shows with him but then he started tipping like so much, like 10000 token tips and i feel so bad because he feels entitled to be able to always hound me about doing shows and stuff. (he just tips randomly) I dont know how to tell him to stop and to back off because everyday he just complains about his life and i feel terrible and i also just dont care about his complaining but i dont want to hurt this guy as he has helped me financialy and is realy sweet.... I have told him I dont want all his money. and i dont because i know if he tips me alot he will feel ok with filling up my inbox and calling me and bothering me so much. I know i need to talk to him,,, pleeeease help me here (

 

[hallie rose]

also apologies for my bad grammar, im too worn out to realy worry about it at the moment

 

[Zana]

Tell him straight up how you feel and that he needs to stop. If he still continues, block him. His money isn't worth letting him harass you and put you in a bad mood.

 

[AudriTwo]

Also don't let him use the money he has given you over your head like you owe him. Regulars come and go all the time. But the best thing about regulars is there are always new ones to be made!

 

[Smores]

I feel like this is a very important thread, and it discusses an issue that kind of simmers in the background for many models. I chat with a young Hungarian model who never takes her clothes off. Her "persona" is the shy young virgin. She is definitely not the person I would get involved with for any relationship, but she is incredibly intelligent and I love chatting with her. We went off site in our communications, and what she tells me backs up what you are saying here 100%. Basically, about four guys make up 90% of her income, all in the form of privates. All of these guys have various psych issues. They are all control freaks. They all have tender egos. They all use the money to try to control her behavior. She and I have discussed all of this and basically she has become a master of psychology and has just learned to absorb all of this without self-destructing those relationships.

What does all of this say about some of these men? Some of these guys have no power in the real world. So being able to insert themselves as economically important in the model's life suddenly gives them a type of power. Rather than giving them a facepalm and telling them how powerless they really are, I think it would be better for you to understand this dynamic and find a way to sidestep the issue.

They are not always powerless though. I occasionally watch one superstar webcam girl who apparently has a billionaire stalking her, giving her 100K tokens in tips pretty regularly. I guess that is a high class problem to have, but can you imagine how stressful that would be? It is what you describe on steroids, and the guy on the other end is probably a genius with a lot of resources.

I think a lot of these guys want low-risk, low-commitment virtual girlfriends. That gets very strange when they stop understanding the limits of anything virtual. There can be real feelings. But on your side of it you have to understand that some men want emotional attachment, and without emotional attachment it is just porn, which they can get for free. Part of having any kind of relationship at all is caring about the other person's life. That is a tricky road to walk....

I think you can set rules without creating a fight. The trick is to lay out a path that is acceptable to you and that is inclusive of him, but that puts firm boundaries on things. So rather than saying "I will not do X, Y, Z" maybe better to say something like "You know I am pretty committed to my one and only real-world relationship. I have time for you online, but I also have to be available for three others who want my time." That's a lot of politician-talk I know, but these jobs kind of require that skillset.

 

[swagger]

Smores, the only power they have is that which the model gives them.

Hallie, you already know the answer to the question you've asked. You'll find validation here, but you already know.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Agree with most of what was said above. It's unfortunate that he's doing this to you. But, it's something that you need to bring up and let him know how he's impacting your life. While it won't be easy to do so, it's for the best.

 

[Smores]

Smores, the only power they have is that which the model gives them.

A careful reading of my post would show that I would definitely agree with that. I am trying to understand the psychological needs of the men who do the kinds of things the original poster described. I am not trying to justify their behavior or empower them.

 

[hallie rose]

Thank you all, sorry I didnt reply, it was 4am when i made this thread and i had to get some sleep

 

[hallie rose]

Thanks for your response Smore's, it's nice to me to see i'm not alone and this things happens.. although i wish it didnt its good to be able to relate

I think you can set rules without creating a fight. The trick is to lay out a path that is acceptable to you and that is inclusive of him, but that puts firm boundaries on things. So rather than saying "I will not do X, Y, Z" maybe better to say something like "You know I am pretty committed to my one and only real-world relationship. I have time for you online, but I also have to be available for three others who want my time." That's a lot of politician-talk I know, but these jobs kind of require that skillset.

Also this ^ realy spoke to me
I do know what I have to do but It's just nice to get the validation of how others might handle it/what they suggest, because yeah it is tricky territory ! you have all been helpful here thank yous

Smores, the only power they have is that which the model gives them.

Hallie, you already know the answer to the question you've asked. You'll find validation here, but you already know.

 

[RickLeslie]

They are not always powerless though. I occasionally watch one superstar webcam girl who apparently has a billionaire stalking her, giving her 100K tokens in tips pretty regularly. I guess that is a high class problem to have, but can you imagine how stressful that would be? It is what you describe on steroids, and the guy on the other end is probably a genius with a lot of resources.

I should know better than to ask (MYOB and all) but who? A billionaire regularly tipping 100K tks sounds intriguing.

 

[AudriTwo]

A careful reading of my post would show that I would definitely agree with that. I am trying to understand the psychological needs of the men who do the kinds of things the original poster described. I am not trying to justify their behavior or empower them.

there is not much to understand, they are clearly assholes.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

While I agree that these guys are arseholes, and I probably wouldn't be up for tolerating it.... I also think it depends on you and what YOU want. I would be asking myself some questions, such as "how important is this extra income?" "Is this regular scaring away other members or harming your earnings elsewhere?" and whether there is a way to get the member to accept your boundaries. If it were me I would probably give him an opportunity to buck up and behave, but he would be out on first strike.

I would probably try speaking to the member and working out why he is so controlling. He may have an abusive personality, he may do so because he is insecure and he may think that his money means he can now control you, or he may have other mental health issues, but he could also just get thrills out of controlling women. I would tread carefully on this, be non confrontational while being firm. Really out of this you want to get him talking about himself and then maybe you can find some more information which could help you handle him, and partially for your own safety.

If you do want to make an attempt to keep him as a member then you would need to set really clear boundaries that you are not exclusively his. You should also make really clear boundaries that tips are gifts, but that if he wants to buy something specific such as Skype time then he needs to discuss it with you first to check you are free. If you are happy with a girlfriend experience type relationship then maybe broach a way to give him that kind of online girlfriend with it being within your boundaries and limits. Sometimes in these situations members will get pushy but will then respect the rules when they are laid out. I think most of the time they don't because there are other things going on.
If he is not willing to respect your boundaries then ditch him. If he is damaging your enjoyment of the cam world then no money is worth that.

I don't want to say "ditch him" outright as I don't know the exact situation and I don't know how much you are in need of that extra income. But from what has been described he doesn't seem like the sort of member who is good for a cam room. It's up to you whether you want to play along with his game for the income. But if you do you would definitely need to set really clear boundaries first so he doesn't come back and try to claim ownership over you. You are in control, you may allow him to feel a little bit of power if you choose, but he does not hold anything over you. Dudes like this will latch onto any weakness or loophole, in my experience they will usually back off when you are completely clear with them that things are going to be your way.
Honestly from the sounds of it he seems like he would just latch onto the next girl who he hopes he can bully and control. These guys are the ones who tip girls loads and then get banned from the room and try to call the girls out as being scammers and "fake".

 

[Smores]

I should know better than to ask (MYOB and all) but who? A billionaire regularly tipping 100K tks sounds intriguing.

She would kill me for mentioning her in any public context. What little trust she has in me would be broken.

That said, you see stuff like this in rooms frequently enough. I listen to a girl on MFC who basically does a talk show combined with her playing guitar. She gets a little naked occasionally, but it is clear to me that she is there for the conversations and to give her an outlet to perform. In any case, some guy last night was tipping her ridiculous amounts, and after one of her songs gave her 30K tokens! There are clearly some very rich people hanging around these sites.

 

[Omne35]

I should know better than to ask (MYOB and all) but who? A billionaire regularly tipping 100K tks sounds intriguing.

Go into the Miss MFC section and look at the top winners for previous months. You'll see a lot of repeats and most of them were getting a lot of six figure tips.

 

[hallie rose]

Go into the Miss MFC section and look at the top winners for previous months. You'll see a lot of repeats and most of them were getting a lot of six figure tips.

thats insane I know a camgirl who gets huge tips consistently .. 500,1000..3000..even 10000 tokens, everytime she broadcasts, it's insane
(I can see why, shes super intelligent and cute and she streams with her drone and her house is amazing and beautiful) but just wow lol, some girls have cracked the code to this game

 

[Omne35]

thats insane I know a camgirl who gets huge tips consistently .. 500,1000..3000..even 10000 tokens, everytime she broadcasts, it's insane
(I can see why, shes super intelligent and cute and she streams with her drone and her house is amazing and beautiful) but just wow lol, some girls have cracked the code to this game

The cams pretty much reflect real life income distribution from what I can tell. 1% vs. 99%.