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Is it wise to continue?

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Mar 24, 2017
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Southeastern USA
I'm looking for some honest and direct feedback here ladies...

Long story short, I started visiting this wonderful Colombian lady on a certain website about 6 months ago. Shortly after we had a few privates together, she gave me her whatsapp contact info. Since then we have spent a lot of time talking and getting to know one another. She has sent me videos of her children, her home, her town and numerous non sexual pictures. We've even done several video calls together. She has never once asked me for any money, so this is not a "I've been scammed by a cam model" post. Nor is it a "back tattoo" or "I'm in love with a cam girl" post. I wanted to make this distinction up front, so as to get focused feedback on what I should possibly do...

When we met, she was in a bad place as her boyfriend and father of her children, had left her high and dry after she discovered some used condoms in the bedroom and confronted him about it. It was his house they were living in and he basically kicked her and the children out on the streets. After we started talking on whatsapp, and after seeing the living conditions of her and her children(she was living in what is known as a "mat house" with some friends.), I offered to help her out and started sending her some money via WU on a weekly basis. Over the past few months, she has been able to obtain a nice house for her and her children, along with some basic furniture and home necessities. I'm a generous man and I never ask for anything in return from her. I just want to make sure she is living a respectable life. She is appreciative and grateful for what I have done for her, and she is very open and honest with me about everything that happens in her real life....

OK...about a week ago she goes near silent with me. I knew something was wrong from the sad face smilies that she was sending me when I would say hello or ask how she was doing. I was apprehensive to say the least, and even a little sad that maybe this was her way of preparing for a total break. So I waited...

Last night, she wrote me that the reason she was so silent, was that she was ashamed to tell me what had happened in her life. I told her she didn't have to tell me anything, but she proceeded to tell me what had happened anyway. She told me that she had relapsed back into drug use and that she was very afraid of what her Ex would do with her children should he find out about this. So, we talked and I tried to offer emotional support and understanding the best I knew how. She assured me that she was going to get professional help and told me not to worry. We ended the talk with a few virtual hugs and I said goodnight.

All day today I started getting this nagging feeling inside that maybe I might be facilitating, or "enabling" her drug use with the money I send her through WU. I would not want this to be the case. Aside from my tipping her tokens on the site she works at, I'm not sure of her overall financial situation, and the money I send her is of no consequence and does not affect me or my own financial situation in an adverse way.

But now I'm torn inside as to whether or not I might be enabling her drug use. If I'm wrong and I stop sending her money, would she lose her house if she has a bad period at her work? I really don't know how to approach her about my concerns, or even if I should. This is a weird situation for me, as I am not "in love" with her. I just decided to help her out and get her back on her own two feet again. I could do so many things with this, but I'm not sure of the correct course of action.

What would you recommend?
 
You should probably state how much you're sending weekly, cost of living is very low in Colombia.
I'm not sure if it would add anything to the discussion, but I'm familiar with the cost of living/housing in her area after my own research. Let me just say that what I send her covers her rent with a little left over.
 
do what you want. you're a grown man.
 
What would make you feel worse? If you stopped sending money and she lost her place or if you kept sending and it funded drugs? Once money is sent you no longer control what's done with it nor are you responsible for funding her housing or for what choices she makes. If it bothers you that you might be funding a drug habit then don't send money. She's an adult and it's your money to do whatever with.
 
What would make you feel worse? If you stopped sending money and she lost her place or if you kept sending and it funded drugs? Once money is sent you no longer control what's done with it nor are you responsible for funding her housing or for what choices she makes. If it bothers you that you might be funding a drug habit then don't send money. She's an adult and it's your money to do whatever with.
Than you for this. Sometimes a rational reply such as this tends to snap me out of a period of irrational thinking. Sometimes I "feel" too much about certain things, and my thought process tends to be in tow with my emotions. Again, thank you.
 
You're paying for the Deluxe Vicarious Domestic Drama option on her menu and you're getting good value for your money by the looks of it.

👍
I think I can see the humor in what you did there.
 
Just my opinion fwiw, but I think you would be better off 'supporting' her through her job on the site you first encountered her on.
If you enjoy interacting with her on the cam site, then tipping supports her and (together with her other supporters) helps her remain gainfully employed.
What she then does with her pay check, like the rest of the working population, is her business and doesn't need any more thought about being morally right or wrong.
 
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